Category Archives: Humor

At a Bookstore Near You!

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Pick up a dozen copies of my new book of poetry…  Featuring such well loved poems as ‘Sinners in the Hands of a Wrathful God’, ‘You’re a Heretic, you Heretic’, and ‘Servetusized’.  Only $499!

If Melanchthon were Seeking Tenure Today

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22 September 2023

Tenure Report on Philip Melanchthon

Professor Melanchthon arrived in 2018 to teach Greek, a subject in which there were few resources in this region yet one in which we wished to establish a presence, with Leipzig with Peter Mosellanus being our only serious competition in these territories. From the start Professor Melanchthon established himself as a pathbreaker, delivering an inaugural address resplendent in the aura of the new learning that was gaining ground in his undergraduate alma mater Heidelberg and at Tübingen, where he received his MA. Professor Melanchthon’s talents were recognized early on by our colleagues Luther and Spalatin, and although his students had difficulty at first with his Swabian accent, he has proven to be a popular lecturer and a supportive mentor to many students.

Professor Luther formed a strong alliance early on with this younger colleague, who provided valuable aid in theological and linguistic matters. A significant career-development move was his pursuit of the baccalaureus biblicus in 2019, which provided a theological credential alongside his training in the liberal arts. His teaching, almost since his arrival, has included theology as well as classical studies, and he is almost alone among his colleagues in holding that a thorough knowledge of the biblical languages is necessary for competent work in theology. We doubt that faculty mentoring during his probationary period would have changed his mind on this novel and still-controversial matter. Similarly regarding his obstinacy with certain opinions, there have been reports from students who find his use of “sophist” and “papist” for adherents to the older faith offputting, even challenging. Members of the committee recalled the grievance of two years ago, in which Professor Melanchthon’s response (“I could call the pope the Antichrist if you’d prefer, you idolater!”) failed to bring much needed calm to our campus. We can certainly hope for a change in tone as his teaching matures.

The Publication Record raised questions within the committee that we can neither avoid nor easily answer. Without denying that the Loci communes (2016) has been hugely popular, there are concerns about its originality, specifically whether its argument depends on familiarity and agreement with Professor Luther’s work; its use as a textbook in theology, where it follows an unusual arrangement of material; and its failure to count as an example of classical scholarship as conventionally understood. Some in the committee reminded us that a Greek scholar’s proper work is translating Lucian into Latin, or composing Greek epigrams in elegiac couplets. While we cannot deny that Professor Melanchthon’s theological publications have brought welcome attention to our university, we believe that more attention to conventional classical efforts will serve our needs for a European presence in Greek studies. He is currently following a dispute which Professor Luther is carrying on with Erasmus, which may in the future raise questions about the relation of Professor Luther’s theological project with the humanism represented by that Patristics scholar in Basel. Let us be frank, Honorable Rector: the direction of Professor Melanchthon’s work is likely to make Wittenberg better known, in years to come, for theology than for humanistic study. No one is currently reading Statius or Ausonius, and Demosthenes and the rhetorical corpus are being studied by clergy candidates hoping to improve their preaching.

In the category of Service Professor Melanchthon has done more off-campus than on, as we see in his developing of important relationships with the Pirckheimer family in Nuremberg and with the young landgrave of Hesse. Professor Melanchthon has had the guiding hand in the design of the new Latin School in Nuremberg, and is working with Landgraf Philip to create the first “protestant” university, though what that latter term means remains something of a mystery. Certain members of the Committee were concerned that these activities did not sufficiently highlight Professor Melanchthon’s affiliation with our university, with the result that we are missing a uniquely valuable branding opportunity for Wittenberg.

We must, regrettably, report a divided vote on tenure, which according to the Manual of Operations means that decision rests with the Office of the Rector. Professor Melanchthon is unquestionably erudite and energetic, and may in time be ranked with Professor Luther as one of the luminaries of our institution. However, his work is moving increasingly toward promoting and articulating the new theology, with the inevitable result that we will fall in the rankings for humanism behind Louvain, Basel, and even possibly our perennial rival, Leipzig.

Via Ralph Keen (with minor date adjustments by me.)

It’s Time Again For A Biblical Studies Carnival!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Welcome.  To something completely different.  A Carnival like no other.  A Carnival whose time has come.  A Carnival to rival all Carnivals!  A Carnival where the good are lauded and the bad are denounced.  A Carnival naming names and pointing fingers and providing the evidence of wrongdoing by biblical scholars over the past 50 years.

Put on your seatbelt!  It’s The Revelation of All The Misdeeds of all the Biblical Studies Bibliobloggers and YouTubers and TikTockers Carnival of Carnivals!

Love that blogger from the frozen north?  Well you may change your mind.  Love that guy who makes the tik toks?  Hang on to your hat!  Enjoy the you tubes of that spiffy Ivy League-er?  Ooops…

The unvarnished truth is about to be revealed!

Jesus Bloggers
AAR Bloggers
Paul Bloggers
Inactive Bloggers
Yankee Bloggers

Just kidding… It’s a regular Carnival!  (The juicy stuff is coming in the tell-all book forthcoming about biblical studies academics and their doings).  So, let’s get to the fun.  Here are the posts, by category, that appeared in the month of May that have been deemed worthy of inclusion.  If yours isn’t here, that’s your own fault for not being awesome enough, amen.

Hebrew Bible

Andrew Vaughn.  New to me.  Maybe new to you.  Maybe not.  Maybe you already know him.  Maybe you don’t.

Get ready for a treat!  AWOL has a book announcement about a gripping and fascinating topic that, I am pretty sure will be made into an action movie starring Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx!  The Reflexes of Syllabic Liquids in Ancient Greek: Linguistic Prehistory of the Greek Dialects and Homeric Kunstsprache.  It will be one of those films based on a book that spawns an entire industry, sort of like Harry Potter, but BIGGER!

James Spinti.  Old to me.  maybe old to you.  Maybe not.  Maybe you already know him.  Maybe you don’t.  Either way be sure to read his nifty little post titled κένωσις started at creation because it’s Brunner’s insights that provoked it.

Claude M. posted a neat look at Hagar, the Surrogate Mother, on Mother’s Day.  Give it a read if you missed it.

Brent Strawn.  The Incomparable God.  Podcast.  Onscript.  How long, oh Lord, how long…. (will there be podcasts….?)

Peter Enns… blabbity blabbity blabbity podcast blabbity blabbity.  Enjoy.

File this one under ‘what? why?  We’ve all known about that for a very very long time so why is it ‘news’ now?’  Why does a statue of Moses have horns?  Because of a poor translation of the text, that’s why.

How did the Text and Canon Institute lose the pronunciation of Yahweh’s name (when the rest of us know it)?  Read their confession, part 2, here.  Bless their hearts.

Claude Mariottini has a look at a passage in Habakkuk.  In particular, on his ‘second dialogue’ with God.  Give it a read.  And then be silent, because God is on his throne.

Gary Rendsburg wonders whatever happened to the woman as ‘helpmate’ in a great essay in The Torah.  Don’t let it slip past your attention.

John Meade has some thoughts on Proverbs’ view of marriage.  Read the thread to your own profit.  Unless you aren’t married or are not planning to be.  Then you can safely skip it.

Allen Bevere has a neat little sermon-post on what it means to ‘fear the Lord’.  Allen’s a sharp kid, for a Methodist.  He’s pretty fun on twitter too.

Is Discourse Analysis your thing?  (Weirdo).  Anyway, there’s a Discourse Analysis gathering in October and you may want to participate or attend.  (Weirdo).  (But I’m not judging you)(weirdo).

Zadok the Priest.  Avril Hannah-Jones.  Music.  Handel.  You get the point.

Jack Sasson, the best of the best of the best, gets a mention by Jim Davila, the best of the best, concerning an essay Jack wrote on the Priestly Blessing.  Jack is incapable of being boring.  As incapable of it as NT Wright has mastered it.  Give it a read.

And speaking of Sasson, the Codex Sassoon sold for $38,000,000.  I don’t think Jack owned it before because it’s a different name, but he should have.  And he should own it now.  Just because.

That Ebal Curse inscription thing, again.  Geeze.  It just won’t go away.  Like the Shroud of Turin, another fake.

Oh, and speaking of INCREDIBLE and UNBELIEVABLE evidence proving the Bible, did you hear about the Joshua Receipt Ostracon??????  Gad Barnea made the STUNNING announcement!  This is, of all the archaeological discoveries of the last 50 years, the MOST important (and the most true).

NB– I received a couple of suggestions which involved anonymous bloggers.  Regrettably I don’t use ‘unprovenanced’ posts for the same reason that I think it’s unwise to use unprovenanced archaeological materials.  If I don’t know the blogger’s name, I’m simply not comfortable passing along their material.  What if it isn’t theirs?  What if it’s simply untrue?  No, unprovenanced posts by unknown persons simply will not do.

New Testament

It’s movie time!!!  The folk over at Evangelical Textual Criticism (so as not to be confused with the more radically oriented Radical Textual Criticism) announce that you can view the movie Fragments of Truth for free!  It stars Denzel Washington as Craig Evans as the text critic who masterfully disclosed the identity of a fragment, and he did it truthfully (or something) and Edris Elba as Larry Hurtado.  Get your TC fix for the month!

And, amazingly, there’s another movie!  This one stars Kevin Costner as Lionel Windsor, a commentator talking about 1 Timothy!

Bart Ehrman asks Do Modern Mideastern Story Tellers Show How the Ancient Traditions of Jesus Were Circulated? Short answer (by me) – no, how could they? They tell us how stories are told today but that hardly means that’s how they have always been told.  Bart’s answer is good too.  Read it.

And still another movie!  This time debating the existence of Q.  Yes, Q exists.  I have it on my shelf.  But if you want to watch the debate between Goodacre and McGrath, go ahead.

ETC was also concerned about an unknown text critic by the name of ….  well shoot, I just read it… oh well.  I guess he really is forgettable and has been neglected for a reason…  Oh well.  Such is life.

David Gowler has a book review post series on a book on the reception of the Parables of Jesus.  Visit that link and then you’ll be able to find the rest.  It’s 900 parts subdivided into 18,000 sub parts.  You’ll enjoy all 89.000,000,000,000,000 posts in the series.

Greek Prepositions.  You love them.  You pine for them like you pine for the fjords of Norway.  You desire them like a deer desires water or a pig desires muck. And now, you can have them via a whole page on Mike Aubrey’s resource site.

Greek Manuscripts.  You love them too.  You pine for them like someone in AAR pines for a new fad methodology.  So you’re in luck.  The ETC blog mentions that the Birmingham TC Colloquium is online at the you tube for your viewing pleasure.

Did Jesus only choose men to be his disciples so that he could spare women persecution?  Frankly it’s not a question I’ve ever heard posed.  But it is an intriguing one.  And Marg’s analysis of the question is sharp.  Sharp enough, it turns out, that I can recommend it to you.

Ben Witherington number 3 is carrying on some sort of conversation with some person about some book on the Bible and ‘biblical womanhood’.  You probably might potentially consider pondering the possibility that one day you may be interested in what Ben is talking about.  On that day, read his post.

Honestly, I don’t read Portuguese so I have no idea what this post is about.  Besides being biblical studies related.  But Airton is a delightful person who has been blogging for a long time and there are a LOT of people in Brazil who absolutely LOVE ZR.  So this is for them.  Amen.

Former good guy Dan McClellan is teaching classes online and his next offering is the Book of Revelation, beginning in July.  He also announces that he’ll be joined in his online teaching endeavors by two other folk in the near future.  Certainly worth looking into if you are so inclined.

Crossley and Myles are on a podcast concerning their Marxist Jesus book that came out this year.  It’s a podcast…  Because people can’t be bothered to read interviews so they have to have them read to them.  In a century no one will even know how to read.  Everything will be read to them like they are 2 year olds.

Ben the Amateur has some thoughts on the Nag Hammadi texts.  Gnosticism must be coming back into style.  What’s old is new… etc.

Books

Robyn Whitaker’s book ‘Even the Devil Quotes Scripture‘ came out in May.  Is it about how Chris Tilling quotes the Bible in his books?  I don’t know.  I haven’t read Whitaker’s book.  Or even about it.  Maybe you have.  Maybe you will.

It’s the 75th Anniversary of the IGNTP and they celebrated.  You can watch the Conference videos on the you tube.

Another day, another Mike Bird book.  Dude clearly doesn’t spend a lot of time playing video games.  This one’s titled ‘A Bird’s Eye View of Luke-Acts’.  No, I’m not making that up.

Michael Barber, whom I actually like very much, has a new book coming on the historical Jesus.  He’s drawn attention to a bit of the front matter here.

Jim West reviewed Volume 5/Part 1: Galilaea and Northern Regions: 5876-6924, and Part 2: 6925-7818 of CIIP.  He remarks  They are a tool with which no serious scholar of the New Testament can do without. … Context is everything.  And that’s what these volumes provide.  He also reviewed ‘40 Questions about the Text and Canon of the New Testament‘.  He found it to be useful.  And, the prolific little devil also reviewed Con Campbell’s really genuinely excellent commentary on Ephesians.  And a Commentary on Jeremiah that he disliked tremendously.  And a study of the Reception history of the Song of Songs that he found both engaging and interesting.

Bob Cornwall (not to be confused with General Cornwallis) reviewed Greg Carey’s book on death and eschatology.  He ends the review with church!  That’ll get you to take a look at it.

James Gordon reviewed the new ‘Paul’ Dictionary.  Here, here, and here.

Peder Borgen died in April.  Brill honored the great man with the gift to us all of his dissertation.  The passing of Peder Borgen, prof. emerit. of New Testament and Hellenistic Judaism at  @NTNU, saddens us. To mark more than 40 years of prolific collaboration, Brill is giving #freeaccess to his dissertation ‘Bread from Heaven’ until 01. Sep. 2023: ow.ly/Q45z50OgCq1

CSNTM had a conference.  About text critical stuff.  A conference volume was produced.  Peter Gurry announced its soon appearance.  I don’t think Peter is old enough to be allowed to talk about books.  Look at him.  He’s 10 or 12.

Luke’s Gospel was the subject of a new book which was the subject of this fantastic review by Jim West.  If you don’t read any other reviews from May, read this one.  Christoph Heilig calls it the most important review of his young life!

Brent Niedergall reviewed a book on biblical theology by Kostenberger and Goswell.  He calls it his new favorite biblical theology.  Wow.  Bold.

Steve Wiggins has some thoughts on used books.  All of us lovers of books can relate.  Give it a look.  Assuming you love books.  But if you don’t, why are you even here?  Or more importantly, why are you, even?

Scot Mcknight tweets – Time to pre-order this new book Lisa, Joe, and I edited: Romans from diverse locations. The most influential book of the NT gets some new frames. Click Pre-Order.   Most influential book of the NT?  Might want to have a chat with the Gospel of John.  Chances are pretty darn good that church people can recite John 3:16 and not a single verse from Romans.

If you’re not reviewing books, how are you helping your colleagues decide what they need to read and what they need to avoid reading so as not to waste their time.  Bultmann wrote hundreds of reviews.  Be like Bultmann.

Miscellaneous

Tenure is being discussed.  And job security for the non-tenured.  And how the tenured had better start caring about their more vulnerable colleagues.  It’s worth your time.

June 6.  That’s when this online discussion regarding Christianity and disabilities will take place, so sign up today!  Naomi Lawson Jacobs and Emily Richardson discuss how disabled Christians often find themselves left at the gates of churches.

Speaking of teaching, take a look at a day in the life of a 3rd grade teacher with her woke agenda as a far right politician imagines it.

Phil Long led his class on a tour of Israel.  This is the latest entry but go ahead and scroll down for other ones.  Fun stuff.

Interested in beer and other yeasty byproducts of Satan’s urine?  If your answer is yes (you boozer) then Aren’s post will be of great interest to you.  It’s all kind of yeasty.

Experts in Israel have developed an AI tool to translate Cuneiform texts into English. — Researchers at Tel Aviv University (TAU) and Ariel University have developed an artificial intelligence model that can automatically translate Akkadian text written in cuneiform into English.   How exciting for them!  (HT James McGrath on the twitter).

BNTS has announced the 2023 conference.  If you’re interested in NT, you may want to take a look.

If you like free stuff you may like the SSEA Newsletter.  What’s SSEA?  Well it’s a long name so I’ll just let you click the link.  It’s late, I’m tired, and you should put a little effort into something besides video games and being upset that your favorite actress is divorcing her cheating husband and cancelling everything that hurts your tender feels.

Emanuel Tov has been named a Baron by the University of Vienna!  For the second time!  Top that, peasants!

Drag Queen Story Hour in Australia.  Mike Bird.   Just go read it.

Gad Barnea is miffed at Digital Humanities.  Miffed!  Read his very long tweet on the subject.  I don’t know enough about DH other than that it exists and I use them from time to time.  But there are those among you way into it.

Take heed of the warning Katherine makes regarding ChatGPT and other AI resources.  She is not wrong, and neither is Ted.

Women’s Bible Study?  Is it actually Bible Study?  Sometimes, it is not.  It is anything but.  Hence, my willingness to share this tweet and urge you to follow this tweeter.

Charlotte Hempel was on BBC Radio 4.  Talking about the Dead Sea Scrolls.  Melvyn Bragg and guests discuss the revelatory collection of Biblical texts and other documents dating from around 250 BC to AD 68, which were first rediscovered in a cave in 1946.

Where have they gone?  Mark Goodacre last blogged in 2022.  Chris Tilling blogged in April, and before that, September 2022.  The biblioblog Top 50 was last updated in 2018.  Jim Davila is still minding the shop, but the rest of the other early bloggers have all vanished (aside from yours truly, naturally).

Oh, and multiple times in May people died because the NRA owns Congress.  What’s the gun plague have to do with biblical studies?  Everything.

***

Finis

Phil continues to do a wonderful job of arranging these Carnivals.  You ought to do one.  Not only are they a lot of fun to do, but you get to see materials (via submissions) that you wouldn’t normally get to see.  Contact him.

Biblioblogdom explained