That killer whales are in the streets…
via Don Grant
In case you haven’t seen this yet…
The price list is non negotiable.
About whether or not you should get me a Christmas gift- just remember this:
“You have the poor with you always, and you can be kind to them whenever you wish, but you will not always have me.” (Mk. 14:7)
You don’t want to feel sad when a paper triggers you, or when you happen upon some terrible wretch in the book hall, do you? No, you don’t. So pack your Squease vest and inflate it before you see someone who might make you feel bad feels…
I wear two. Because when you room with Chris Tilling, you need 5 but only 2 will fit.
Protestants from across the globe flocked to Wittenberg, Germany Tuesday to venerate a statue of Martin Luther in honor of the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation.
Many in the Lutheran and Lutheran-leaning community including pastor of Torrential Downpour Church Morgan Kremin attended ceremonies that started with a morning veneration of the statue of Martin Luther located near All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg and concluded with a collection to help fund the building of several new mega-churches.
“Could the money have gone to the poor–yes,” Kremin admitted to EOTT. “But it’s important that we build these churches so that everyone, be they rich or poor, can come to worship the Lord, even though praying to Jesus is no different in a large church than it is in a home, or even though we know that, for the most part, the homeless don’t actually ever come to our church, and that asking our people, many of whom are struggling to make ends meet, to spend their hard-earned income on exorbitant churches is one of the issues we had with the Catholic Church during the Reformation. But the fact remains that building large things and paying for ridiculous salaries cost money. There’s no way around it.”
Kremin went on to clarify, saying that it wasn’t at all like the selling of indulgences since the selling of indulgences meant that people were essentially paying for their salvation, while what Kremin was saying was that being a true Christian and therefore being saved is contingent on Christian’s paying for such expenditures.
RELS 666: The Majestic Zwingli. 3 credits. Prof. J. West.
A close look at the erudition, sanctity, wit and wisdom of Ulrich Zwingli (1484-1531), the last of the Reformers in alphabetical terms. Readings from the Commentary on True (Mine) and False (their) Religion, Scripture is Clear and Distinct as far as I’m Concerned, The True Meaning of “Is,” and other works. Requirements: translations from Latin and whatever that other language is, 2-hour exams each week, and response papers on the professor’s interminable sermons. Prerequisites: familiarity with Jerome and despair over salvation.
Course designer – Ralph Keen
RELS 1497 Melanchthon for Fun and Profit. 3 credits. Instructor: Keen.
The surest sign of the collapse of civilization is the current obscurity of Philip Melanchthon (1497-1560), the most erudite and lucid theologian since the death of Augustine. In this course we will read all three editions of the Loci Communes (comparing the Latin and German versions of each) and astrological works that are useful for discerning auspicious times. Requirements: delivering an oration on the importance of reading Homer in a time of crisis and composing Greek epigrams on the problems of the day. For classics majors only; the rest of you are barbarians.
Please take note that all papers delivered at the annual meeting of SBL must include at least one of the following:
If your paper does not include at least a few of these, please expect to be denounced as ‘patriarchal’ and profoundly guilty of exercising your ‘white privilege’ (which you, sad dolt that you are, don’t even know you’re a beneficiary of).*
* Calm down. It’s just jesting mockery intended to point out the true fact that every year at SBL papers always adopt a buzzword…
Richard Goode relates this story-
This is a perfect illustration of how our influence on people’s lives can be far wider and more profound than we can ever imagine. Last year, Jim West came to the UK to give a lecture. Over a year later, on a small Warwickshire village many miles from the university, I was walking past an after-school nursery play group, when a small boy, wearing a plastic bucket on his head, in a booming deep voice, bellowed fiercely at a cowering ‘friend’, “You are going to HELL!”
Just a coincidence?
I think not.
Amen and amen. So if you want your entire vicinity to feel the ripples of your conference, you should invite me to speak. Amen.
Oh Chris… Banned from Burger King… You’re so horrible.
A man who was trying to buy lunch at a Burger King called 911 and refused to leave the drive-thru lane after the worker refused to honor his coupon. The 73-year-old customer was reportedly trying to pay for his order with a buy-one-get-one-free Whopper coupon Thursday, according to WJW. The man told 911 the worker had taken his coupons but wouldn’t give him the free Whopper as stated on the coupon. According to a police report, “he received the coupons in Texas and was advised that they are no good in Ohio. He was also advised he is not allowed to return to this Burger King.”
Oh Chris…. You’re making Britain look Bad Again.
As the annual meeting becomes ever more casual the powers that be at SBL and AAR have chosen this year’s uniform. Behold:
Sandals, drawstring cotton skorts, and white t-shirts will be required for all presenters and attendees- male and female (and all shades of self identification in between). If the uniform requirement is ignored, sanctions will be enacted against the offender. Trimmed toenails are optional.*
*Go ahead, report me Tom, I DON’T CARE (ya humorless glurp).