via Christian Brady.
Category Archives: Humor
Popular fact-checking website Snopes.com has announced its first official hard copy Bible: the Snopes Fact Check Study Bible.
The study Bible is designed to undermine your faith at every turn by performing shoddily researched fact checks of every claim the Scriptures make.
“Did Jesus rise from the dead? Fact check: LEGEND,” the notes read in the gospels.
“Is Jesus Christ the Truth? Fact check: FALSE. Snopes is the only verifiable truth,” another callout bubble reads in the Gospel of John.
Jesus’s parables are the target of frequent fact checks in the study Bible, as Snopes authors seem to be unable to tell the difference between Jesus’s obviously allegorical stories and historical narratives. The Bible contains a three-page-long fact check of the story of the prodigal son, for instance, pointing out that no historical evidence was ever found that the character in the parable ever existed.
One well-researched fact check asks whether or not Jesus even existed, concluding that results are “MIXED.” The Snopes Bible points to evidence such as the fact that no one living today has seen Jesus and also that it’d be really inconvenient if His claims about Himself were true.
“If you’ve ever read the Bible and been unsure about what you’re reading, the Snopes Fact Check Study Bible is for you,” said a Snopes spokesperson. “Now you can actually be sure of God’s Word because the infallible Snopes writers are telling you what to believe right there on the page.”
“Is the Snopes Study Bible on sale for $49.99 now? Fact check: TRUE,” the spokesperson concluded.
Because everyone should be included in everything. Making people feel left out- well it’s just not our way anymore.
In celebration of Father’s Day, the nation’s pastors reportedly spent the whole sermon praising fathers, single mothers, people who take care of pets and feel like a father, and also people who take care of a Tamagotchi electronic pet.
“If you’re a father out there, or you feel like a father, or you temporarily want to identify as a father for the sake of being celebrated today, or you’ve ever been within 100 yards of a father, or you have a cat which is kinda like being a father, or you have a Tamagotchi electronic pet you’ve been taking care of since the ’90s, please stand so we can recognize you,” one pastor at a megachurch in Seattle said. “Thank you so much for your service.”
Pastors said they just didn’t want anyone to feel left out.
“What if we have a Father’s Day and celebrate fathers and we make people feel left out because they’re not, you know, a father?” a Des Moines Baptist megachurch told reporters. “We don’t want to exclude anyone by pretending fathers are special just for one day, so we just celebrate everyone.”
“And when everyone’s special, that’s just a great thing,” he added.
Because I feel like you’re testing me. I’m sorely tested…
UPDATE: Carol, a lovely person, says it’s a typo…. On Carol, there’s no such thing… GET BEHIND ME Satan!
In case you haven’t seen this yet…