Via Ralph Keen-
Thanks to Rabbi Blum at Columbia for this one:
A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He’s allowed to say just two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They again summon him and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away.
Another seven years pass and they bring him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says.
“That’s not surprising,” the elders say. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”