Come on, man, look at him. That’s Tom Brady!
They make the world what it is my friends….
And it is much bigger than you imagine!
‘Ways in Which Deacons Torture Pastors in their Closed Secret Meetings’
Local pastor Fr. Ron Porter was forced to stop midway through his homily Sunday morning to passive-aggressively attempt to quiet an unruly toddler.
Porter reportedly stopped several times during the course of his homily before finally telling his parishioners that perhaps “the little one in the back” wanted to go right ahead and finish his homily for him.
“It’s not like I didn’t spend a lot of time on it or anything,” Porter said before chuckling a bit. “You priests out there in the pews know what I mean, right? I’m joking, of course. Cute kid. I wonder what seminary he studied at.”
Parishioner Angelica Wall told EOTT that Porter also went on to suggest that they consider building a cry room, although the parish already has one.
“It actually kinda got weird,” Wall said. “He wasn’t able to get back on track for the rest of the Mass so it’s like he just didn’t wanna let it go. At one point he messed up the words of consecration and jokingly asked if the toddler wanted to come up to the altar to say them for him.”
He’s my people.
Though he didn’t mind others who did…
In 1674 during the great Coffee War you women were just dead WRONG! Down with your untrue aspersions on coffee- God’s gift of goodness and joy. Sinner women, repent!!!!! Coffee isn’t enfeebling nor liquor! Sinners!!!! Away with your scandalous pamphlet and undeserved aspersions!!!! (photos via the twitter).
Recently discovered in the Barth Archives at Princeton, a manuscript Barth wrote just weeks before his demise. Printed in a perfect replica of his meticulous tiny hand writing, this book is sure to make waves in the theological world.
Get yourself a copy! But don’t let your wife see it!!!!
Luther comments on John 6:54 thusly-
For instance, if I were to say: “Wittenberg beer quenches the thirst, but Annaberg beer does so too,” I would not be excluding any other beer from doing the same thing. But matters change if I say: “If you do not drink Wittenberg beer, you will find no other beer to slake your thirst.” Thus Christ does not confine Himself here to an affirmative statement, but He excludes everything else as He says: “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you.” Thus he who despises His flesh will find that nothing else will prove helpful or be accounted valid. I may call on St. Mary or St. Peter, but they cannot help. All else is ruled out completely. In brief, all other methods are rejected.
Martin… beer is hardly a fit illustration for the uniqueness of Christ’s sacrifice. You German sot.
A national task force of Bible scholars has voted to raise the biblical age of accountability to 30 for late-blooming millennials. According to this decision, millennials who die before age 30 will receive automatic entry into the kingdom of heaven along with complimentary participation trophies.
Focus on the Family founder James Dobson wrote the majority decision for the task force, explaining that it was “no longer practical to assume that the traditional age of accountability—usually around 12 years old—would be the age by which God held millennials responsible for their eternal destiny.”
“Case studies revealed chronic immaturity, lack of rational decision-making skills, embrace of socialism revealing serious mental abnormalities, and a strong desire to spend each pay check on craft beer, artisan coffee beverages, and slouchy beanies,” Dobson added.
The decision was praised by millennials worldwide, who said “Since our circumstances are not our own fault at all, we totally deserve this decision, obviously.”
Perfectly sensible for the snowflake generation.
Back in 2015 Rome decided to honor Luther with a square. It looks like they’ve finally dedicated it-
Well that seems about right, given Rome’s 500 year long attitude to Martin…