Archive for the ‘Heresy and Heretics’ Category
Why work on a sermon when you can visit this website and get outlines and ideas and illustrations!!!! Inspire your church with your skills of plagiarism!
Earlier today whilst a small child was walking through the park a meeting of the NT Wright admiration society was meeting and adjourned just as the toddler went past their picnic bench. The 3 members of the society in attendance along with Prof Wright himself began moving innocently towards their cars when the little girl was suddenly startled by Prof. Wright’s breaking into a light jog (so as to work off his bean burrito from the Taco Bell) and she herself began to sprint towards her parents weeping uncontrollably.
Reports from the scene insisted that it was a simple misunderstanding between a jogging Wright and a startled child. In an attempt to make up for the accidental startling, Prof Wright promised to send a signed copy of each of his books to the girl’s home. The youngster declined, saying ‘I love Jesus’.
Many of you will know how Chris Tilling cruelly abandoned our lifelong friendship to hitch his wagon to Doug Campbell (roomie thief) for SBL 2016 in San Antonio.
Well, to prove the old adage ‘you reap what you sow’, it turns out that Tilling was massively dissed by Campbell (roomie thief) during a Wipf and Stock interview- saying, as you’ll see, that Tilling ‘is a joke’!
Cruel! And Unusual! PUNISHMENT! #Glory. #TakeThatYouWretch.
Shocking news came yesterday through a ‘Dear John’ letter from Christ Tilling- my former SBL roomie – that he was dumping me to instead get a room provided by Doug *The Apple CEO Lookalike* Campbell. We’ve roomed together a long time. In fact, we’ve roomed together at SBL when we’ve both been there from back in the days when Tilling was a Grad student.
But now he’s dumped me. And I’m heartbroken. So if I’m super moody the next couple of months it’s because of it. And if you see me at SBL in San Antonio don’t be surprised if I snap your head off if you speak to me. I’ll be fuming. Bloody abandonment. #RoomingAlone. #TillingIsAMeanie. #ITakeShowers. #HeClogsDrains.
Here’s their engagement picture… the swine….
Campell swearing eternal love to Tilling in return for an endorsement…
There is no theological or scriptural justification for the notion that ‘church’ can be comprised of one person, in spite of any meme’s claim to the contrary. Jesus said ‘where two or three…, etc.’ not ‘where there is one.’
One person isn’t a church. And a church is never one person. Ever.
And shows how much more important it is to be theatrical (in her mind anyway) than to be substantive. Because nothing says Pentecost like confetti shot from confetti guns…
Τοῦτο δὲ γίνωσκε, ὅτι ἐν ἐσχάταις ἡμέραις ἐνστήσονται καιροὶ χαλεποί. ἔσονται γὰρ οἱ ἄνθρωποι φίλαυτοι, φιλάργυροι, ἀλαζόνες, ὑπερήφανοι, βλάσφημοι, γονεῦσιν ἀπειθεῖς, ἀχάριστοι, ἀνόσιοι, ἄστοργοι, ἄσπονδοι, διάβολοι, ἀκρατεῖς, ἀνήμεροι, ἀφιλάγαθοι, προδόται, προπετεῖς, τετυφωμένοι, φιλήδονοι μᾶλλον ἢ φιλόθεοι, ἔχοντες μόρφωσιν εὐσεβείας, τὴν δὲ δύναμιν αὐτῆς ἠρνημένοι. καὶ τούτους ἀποτρέπου. ἐκ τούτων γάρ εἰσιν οἱ ἐνδύνοντες εἰς τὰς οἰκίας καὶ αἰχμαλωτίζοντες γυναικάρια σεσωρευμένα ἁμαρτίαις, ἀγόμενα ἐπιθυμίαις ποικίλαις, πάντοτε μανθάνοντα, καὶ μηδέποτε εἰς ἐπίγνωσιν ἀληθείας ἐλθεῖν δυνάμενα. — (2 Tim. 3:1-7)