Category Archives: Heresy and Heretics

Concerning Study Reveals that Fewer People are Pretending to Be Christians

A new study is worrying pastors and other evangelical leaders, as it suggests that fewer and fewer people are pretending to be Christians than ever before.

While in years past, the vast majority of the country pretended to be Christian, that number is shrinking every year, and now only a minority of the country fakes faith in Jesus Christ.

“This is extremely troubling,” said evangelical megachurch pastor Jack Lindsey. “A decade ago, our pews were full of people who went through the motions of pretending to be Christian. But now, the fake believers are all acting like the atheists they are, and our churches are shrinking because of it. If only we could have a fake revival.”

Pastors are trying to come up with ways to combat the decline of fake Christianity, from hosting big carnivals and preaching through movie franchises to serving better coffee and naming their churches after shopping malls and retirement communities. But nothing seems to be working so far, stoking fears that fake Christianity is on its way out permanently. Some have considered preaching the gospel to the unreached, but these people are obviously nuts.

“We’re in a brave new world where people don’t even bother paying lip service to a Jesus they don’t believe in, and I’m not sure I want to live in that kind of country,” said Lindsey.

The majority of Americans attend the ‘Church of the Seed Fallen On Rocky Ground’.

Utter Blasphemy

Making a cross out of two bullets, and placing a skull and an inscription over it which offers adulation to a human document?  Pure and utter blasphemy.

Dear Friends who are NOT Attending SBL in San Diego

Don’t fret.  No one interesting is there this year.  All the interesting people will be in Boston next year.  Plus, I hear that the book hall will only have books by terrible writers and all the coffee shops are bad and the food places all have giant rats.  And, the hotels all are infested with bed bugs.  That’s the rumor anyway.

Furthermore, all the papers will be by heretics and pentebabbleists.

So take heart.  Don’t feel left out and sad…  Don’t get a case of #FOMO.  Instead, recognize that only the damned are in San Diego and the redeemed will be in Boston.

Amen.  And Amen.

That’s Not Evangelism

It has never been, is not now, and will never be evangelism.  It is a cheap escape from authentic evangelism which, according to Jesus, is going into the world and making DISCIPLES.  Not audiences, not the entertained, not the amused, and not lovers of money.

This is, though, how low theology among ‘evangelicals’ has gone.  The ‘Queen of the Sciences’ has become the court jester for today’s ‘Christians’.

No one has ever become a disciple because of cheap gimmicks wrongly called ‘evangelism’.  And if your evangelism is ‘easy’, it’s fake.

So, as Peter said to Simon Magus- ‘to hell with you and your money’.  Or as Luther translated it in 1545,  “Das du verdampt werdest mit deinem gelde!” (Acts 8:20)

Marketing Your ‘Christian’ Book

There’s only one rule to know if you wish to gain fame and fortune as a ‘Christian’ author:  heresy sells.  The more heretical you are the more books you’ll sell and the more famous you’ll become.  Just ask Rob Bell, Joel Osteen, TD Jakes, Paula White, Nadia Bolz-Weber and the other best-selling heretics.

The more you deface Christian orthodoxy and befoul yourself with the dung of heresy, the better off you’ll be (in terms of book sales, not eternity).

Defecating on the truth is the path to fame and fortune.

Paula White: Pentebabbleist Heretic

She’s at it again, spewing her pentebabbleist rubbish:

@RightWingWatch tweets

Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White says Christians “are mandated by God” to send thousands of dollars to help Jim Bakker build a new TV studio and their donations will be counted by “a Department of Treasury in Heaven” that will determine their eternal reward.

Calling all suckers.  Calling all suckers.

A Note to My Readers

If some of you (I know most aren’t, because most are too intelligent or they wouldn’t visit here) buy Paula White, archheretic, false teacher, pentebabbleist, prosperity gospel con artist’s new book (or any book by her) that’s being promoted by Franklin Graham, Robert Jeffress and others, let it be known that you have swallowed falsehood and lies and furthermore are enabling and supporting the vilest sort of pseudo-Christian garbage.

Heretics promote heresy, which is why Jeffress et al are promoting White.  Don’t join them.

That One Time An Ignorant ‘Preacher’ Said that The King James is the Bible and You Don’t Need Hebrew or Greek

Hate yourself?  If you answered yes, then watch this clip.  Your head will implode.  This is the kind of ignorance that Fundamentalists are famous for.  This sort of ignorance really is beyond help.  And the sad thing is, there are professional theologians who also think that knowing the biblical languages is unimportant.  And Seminaries that don’t require them.  And graduate programs in biblical studies that don’t require them.  Consequently, they are absolutely no different than the ignorant preacher in this clip.

Every Philosopher, Ever, In One Meme

Pentebabbleist the Fireman Pseudo-prophet At it Again With his Nutbag Ramblings

As time goes on, Mark Taylor‘s prophecies are getting increasingly incoherent. It’s almost as if he needs to convolute his prophecies more and more so it’s more difficult to point out the fact that they never come true. Either way, we have a new warning from Taylor, and it involves human traffickers, the Red Cross, and the Old Testament god Baal.

According to Taylor, Baal “feeds off the blood of the innocent,” namely aborted fetuses. But thanks to increased restrictions to abortions access in the US, that food source is “running dry.” That’s where the Red Cross comes in.

“We all know the Red Cross is corrupt. They’re into all of this,” he said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch, adding that “they are literally grabbing people … in broad daylight.”

“We are entering into one of the most dangerous phases of this fight,” he continued. “I tell people, ‘I don’t care if you are a Christian or not, if you don’t have a concealed weapons permit, you need to get one. You need to learn how to use a weapon and you need to be carrying it right now because this is a very dangerous time that we are going to be entering into.’”

Watch out for a mass blood drive orchestrated by America’s blood banks, Taylor says, “because their sources are running out, so they can use that human blood for sacrifices, they can use it for drinking it, or whatever it is they do.”

Imbecile. The dilettante loon knows nothing of Baalism.  Or anything.  Firefighters should fight fires, not talk about theology.  They’re awful at it.  So, Mark, here’s your Dilly, pentebabbleist nutbag.

David Bentley Hart- Unitarian Universalist

DBH is halfway there.  He’s already a universalist.  Next up, he will reject trinitarianism and go full bore UU.

We are watching the evolution of a heretic.  DBH now exalts his own sense of things over all other determinative factors.  His intellect, he believes, is the judge and jury of every theological matter and the judgment of the church is irrelevant.

Yes, the evolution of a heretic.

Wrong- For Many Reasons

If you get your theology from tee-shirts… well you’re a heretic.

Reason 8,903 to Avoid ‘Storefront’ Pentebabbleist ‘Churches’ – This One Lured Homeless People in and Forced them To Panhandle for Cash

Inside a beige bungalow in California’s Imperial Valley with a well-trimmed lawn and beds of pink flowers, the 17-year-old girl felt imprisoned. The doors were locked from the inside. The windows were nailed shut.

Like the other homeless and vulnerable people who came to Imperial Valley Ministries seeking shelter, food and rehab, the teenager was not allowed to leave without supervision, was not allowed to contact her family, to “discuss things of the world” or read any book but the Bible, according to federal prosecutors. Those who lived in the church’s group homes had to turn over their money and welfare benefits, their identification and all of their personal belongings, so that even if they wanted to leave, they couldn’t, prosecutors said.

Then, once they settled in, they were allegedly forced to panhandle up to nine hours a day for six days a week in parking lots and on street corners — turning over every penny they earned to the church.

Read the whole. Shame on the cult. And shame on those who think it’s not a cult.

Blasphemy

What it Looks Like When False Teachers Talk About Theology

Instead of being accurate, they prefer to be crass and imbecilic.  If you’re unsure of why the ELCA is dying, look no further.  Bolz-Weber and her ilk are killing it off as fast as they can.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Educated Women Make Terrible Wives and Mothers’

Pentebabbleists gonna babble I reckon.

GOP Rep. Sean Duffy announced he’s resigning from Congress because his wife, Fox News commentator Rachel Campos-Duffy is pregnant with their ninth child — a child who will likely have to undergo heart surgery soon after birth. According to hyper misogynist and far-right Christian radio host Jesse Lee Peterson, that’s a bad move.  “Why does she have to work?” Peterson asked in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “Why doesn’t she stay home, be a wife, a mother, and help raise the children? And now this guy has to step down because this baby apparently has some issues … He shouldn’t quit his job for that. I guarantee you she is making him do it.”

Peterson went on to slam Campos-Duffy as “a selfish, egotistical woman,” adding that her husband is “too beta male to make her do the right thing.”  “This woman is a selfish woman,” Peterson continued. “She has nine kids and she’s trying to be like a man … Women, God has given you the gift of being the assistant of the man, to watch over his children, to make sure things are well at home, to be there when the kids come home, to cook, clean, provide in that way. There is no greater job for a woman than that. And I don’t know why these men would marry these women if they don’t have that mindset. It’s like being married to another man. It’s selfishness, it’s not love.”

Peterson then advised Rep. Duffy that he needs to be out “providing” while his wife stays at home.  “I wouldn’t recommend you marry these educated women with these degrees; they don’t make for good wives and mothers.”

Apparently enough people listen to this ignoramus that he can maintain his absurd radio show.  The problem is never really the ignorant mouthpiece.  The problem is their imbecilic enablers and supporters.

Nope

If you want to ‘instagram-worthy’ the Bible to make it appealing to a subgroup, you’re not doing theology, you’re doing marketing.  And the Bible doesn’t need you to market it.  You don’t transform it.  It transforms you.  Even if you’re a millennial.

So, nope.

What is a ‘Progressive’ Christian, Really?

The modern ‘progressive’ ‘Christian’ is simply and nothing more than a reinvigoration of the Cathari. There’s nothing new under the sun. Especially when it comes to heretical sects. So when someone self identifies as a ‘progressive’ believer, I instantly know they are Cathari.

Eric Metaxas Thinks God Uses Mass Shootings to Call People to Repentance

Eric Metaxas is what happens when a dilettante with an audience he doesn’t deserve opines on theological matters he doesn’t understand.

Every mass shooting seems to brings out conservative Christians eager to outdo their colleagues in the contest of who has the dumbest possible reaction to the atrocity. We’ve already heard Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrickblaming video games and a lack of forced Christianity for the El Paso shooting.

Now Christian author Eric Metaxas, … is chiming in with his own brand of faith-based _______.

This morning, he blamed the shootings on the “spirit of the anti-Christ” and then offered an odd justification for why God allows such violence to continue even if He has the power to stop it.

Stop trying to explain complex theological ideas like Providence, Eric.  You aren’t intellectually equipped for it, and it is too important to be left in the hands of rank ignorant amateurs.

There are lots of ways God calls us to repentance and prayer.  Gunmen killing children isn’t one of them.  And what a sick image of God you have.  God, our Father, wants gunmen to kill random strangers just so billy bob will pray more?  Your view is sick, and you are a sick person with a sick understanding of God, the Bible, and theology.

The Heresy Hunter’s Guidebook

Amen. With thanks to Jeff Carter for the helpful flowchart.