Why work on a sermon when you can visit this website and get outlines and ideas and illustrations!!!! Inspire your church with your skills of plagiarism!
Earlier today whilst a small child was walking through the park a meeting of the NT Wright admiration society was meeting and adjourned just as the toddler went past their picnic bench. The 3 members of the society in attendance along with Prof Wright himself began moving innocently towards their cars when the little girl was suddenly startled by Prof. Wright’s breaking into a light jog (so as to work off his bean burrito from the Taco Bell) and she herself began to sprint towards her parents weeping uncontrollably.
Reports from the scene insisted that it was a simple misunderstanding between a jogging Wright and a startled child. In an attempt to make up for the accidental startling, Prof Wright promised to send a signed copy of each of his books to the girl’s home. The youngster declined, saying ‘I love Jesus’.
Many of you will know how Chris Tilling cruelly abandoned our lifelong friendship to hitch his wagon to Doug Campbell (roomie thief) for SBL 2016 in San Antonio.
Well, to prove the old adage ‘you reap what you sow’, it turns out that Tilling was massively dissed by Campbell (roomie thief) during a Wipf and Stock interview- saying, as you’ll see, that Tilling ‘is a joke’!
Cruel! And Unusual! PUNISHMENT! #Glory. #TakeThatYouWretch.
Shocking news came yesterday through a ‘Dear John’ letter from Christ Tilling- my former SBL roomie – that he was dumping me to instead get a room provided by Doug *The Apple CEO Lookalike* Campbell. We’ve roomed together a long time. In fact, we’ve roomed together at SBL when we’ve both been there from back in the days when Tilling was a Grad student.
But now he’s dumped me. And I’m heartbroken. So if I’m super moody the next couple of months it’s because of it. And if you see me at SBL in San Antonio don’t be surprised if I snap your head off if you speak to me. I’ll be fuming. Bloody abandonment. #RoomingAlone. #TillingIsAMeanie. #ITakeShowers. #HeClogsDrains.
Here’s their engagement picture… the swine….
Campell swearing eternal love to Tilling in return for an endorsement…
There is no theological or scriptural justification for the notion that ‘church’ can be comprised of one person, in spite of any meme’s claim to the contrary. Jesus said ‘where two or three…, etc.’ not ‘where there is one.’
One person isn’t a church. And a church is never one person. Ever.
And shows how much more important it is to be theatrical (in her mind anyway) than to be substantive. Because nothing says Pentecost like confetti shot from confetti guns…
Τοῦτο δὲ γίνωσκε, ὅτι ἐν ἐσχάταις ἡμέραις ἐνστήσονται καιροὶ χαλεποί. ἔσονται γὰρ οἱ ἄνθρωποι φίλαυτοι, φιλάργυροι, ἀλαζόνες, ὑπερήφανοι, βλάσφημοι, γονεῦσιν ἀπειθεῖς, ἀχάριστοι, ἀνόσιοι, ἄστοργοι, ἄσπονδοι, διάβολοι, ἀκρατεῖς, ἀνήμεροι, ἀφιλάγαθοι, προδόται, προπετεῖς, τετυφωμένοι, φιλήδονοι μᾶλλον ἢ φιλόθεοι, ἔχοντες μόρφωσιν εὐσεβείας, τὴν δὲ δύναμιν αὐτῆς ἠρνημένοι. καὶ τούτους ἀποτρέπου. ἐκ τούτων γάρ εἰσιν οἱ ἐνδύνοντες εἰς τὰς οἰκίας καὶ αἰχμαλωτίζοντες γυναικάρια σεσωρευμένα ἁμαρτίαις, ἀγόμενα ἐπιθυμίαις ποικίλαις, πάντοτε μανθάνοντα, καὶ μηδέποτε εἰς ἐπίγνωσιν ἀληθείας ἐλθεῖν δυνάμενα. — (2 Tim. 3:1-7)
I won’t mention the publisher, because generally they do pretty good work. But this… this commendation… is just so absurd.
This month also brought the release of the long-awaited next book by Peter Leithart, Delivered from the Elements of the World. According to James K. A. Smith, “When you read Peter Leithart, you suddenly realize how timid most Christian theologians are, tepidly offering us a few ‘insights’ to edify our comfort with the status quo. Leithart is like a lightning strike from a more ancient, more courageous Christian past, his flaming pen fueled by biblical acuity and scholarly rigor.”
Longtime televangelist and senior Pastor of New Destiny Christian Center in Apopka, Florida, Paula White offered her followers an Easter Sunday deliverance from a spiritual death sentence for a $1,144 “resurrection seed” she says was set by God.
She is a heretic. If you send this heretic money, you’re supporting heresy and are yourself a heretic. Not only should she be silent in the Church, she should be silent always. She is everything that’s wrong with pentebabbleism and celebrity ‘Christianity’. She is – in sum – neither Christian nor Christ-serving. She is a heretical Montanist.
Preaching the story of Lazarus who Jesus resurrected from the dead in John 11:38-44, White promised believers in a video appeal that if they would sow the seed and have faith, she believed deliverance would come.
“I don’t know what is dead. I don’t know what the enemy sent a death to. I don’t know what decision that caused death to come upon whatever the situation you’re facing, but I do know that God has sent me to you to bring resurrection life. To tell you that I believe that as we put our faith together before Easter Sunday on March 27, there’s gonna be resurrection life in your life,” said White.
“The grave clothes are coming off,” she continued. “Whatever residue of death. Whatever residue is holding you back, it is coming off.”
White then revealed to her audience that she didn’t normally request a specific amount in monetary donations but said God was very specific about the amount required for the so-called resurrection seed.
“There’s someone that God is speaking to, to click on that donation button by minimizing the screen. And when you do to sow $1,144. It’s not often I ask very specifically but God has instructed me and I want you to hear. This isn’t for everyone but this is for someone. When you sow that $1,144 based on John 11:44 I believe for resurrection life,” said White.
She’s a liar, a deceiver, and a slave of her master Money. Follow her if you wish, but rest fully in the assurance that she has duped you and you have wished to be duped.