Zwinglius Redivivus

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Archive for the ‘Heresy and Heretics’ Category

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: Hurricane Michael Was Caused By Democrats in Retaliation for Kavanaugh

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You can’t make this nonsense up.

One of my greatest sources of unintentional comedy is Mark Taylor, otherwise known as the “Firefighter Prophet.” Among his bizarre prophecies and conspiracy theories is a recurring theme: that Democrats (and former President Obama) are using weather control technology to obstruct President Trump’s agenda.

Earlier this month, Taylor claimed Hurricane Florence was created by liberals to cover up mass voter fraud in North Carolina. In June, he said liberals were planning to create hurricanes to suppress the midterm election turn out. Now, he’s saying that Hurricane Michael, which is currently bearing down on Florida, was artificially created by “scared” anti-Trump forces in “retaliation” for Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court.

“Does anyone else think it’s strange that Justice K is sworn in and we have a major hurricane inbound?” Taylor tweeted this Tuesday. “DS scared? They should be. Retaliation? Absolutely. We will not be intimidated! Warriors arise, time to go to work! You know what to do.”

Pentebabbleists shouldn’t be allowed within 500 miles of the Bible and 10,000 miles of theology.  They can’t understand Scripture and they don’t know what theology is.

Just a Reminder that Creflo Dollar is a Reprehensible Heretic

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‘If anyone preaches another gospel, which is not a gospel at all, to you, let him be damned.’ –  St. Paul, to the Galatians.

Written by Jim

8 Oct 2018 at 6:07 am

What Damnable Heresy

This is not how baptism works.

‘Streamline’ ‘church’ has streamlined baptism to a base farce and is no church.

Written by Jim

18 Sep 2018 at 8:25 am

This Is How The Prosperity Gospel Heretics Do It

‘winners chapel international’?  Good lord, why not just name it ‘prosperity gospel heretics international’.  At least that would be the truth.

And why does Texas have so many of these nutbag pentebabbleist prosperity lunatics?  Is it the heat?

Written by Jim

17 Sep 2018 at 1:29 pm

John MacArthur’s ‘Social Justice’ Statement is Theologically and Biblically Deficient

MacArthur’s statement fails to take the Gospel in its fullness seriously.  It fails to understand the implications of the Gospel.  And it’s greatest theological failing is that it fails to show a willingness to make any use at all of Matthew 25:31ff.

In short, MacArthur and his co-signatories lack theological acumen and exegetical knowledge.  Accordingly, no theological statement from them or signed by them can be taken seriously as either a Christian statement of faith or a theological declaration that should be adopted by anyone.

It is heresy.

Written by Jim

8 Sep 2018 at 8:39 am

I Don’t Know Who this Bill Johnson Character is…

But theologically, he’s a moron.  So I’m sure he’s very popular with the massa perditionis and emergents.  But I repeat myself.

Calvin would toss him on the fire with Servetus.

Written by Jim

3 Sep 2018 at 7:47 am

This is What Happens When Your Pastor Does Not Own a Bible…

Churches, buy your Pastor a Bible if he doesn’t own one. Otherwise you’ll get sermons inspired from songs instead of sermons inspired from Scripture…

Written by Jim

5 Aug 2018 at 8:01 am

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Prophet’ Sundar Selvaraj: Christians Who Refuse To Support Trump Have ‘The Spirit Of The Antichrist’

It’s the supporters of Trump who are anti-Christ.  So the pentebabbleist has it just backwards.  But there’s nothing surprising about that, given that they are not tethered to reality or grounded in Scripture.

On his television program last week, End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker led his audience in prayer for the protection of President Trump, who is supposedly under attack from the Antichrist spirit as he carries out God’s work of restoring righteousness to the world.

Bakker asked his guest, so-called “prophet” Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj, why some Christians still refuse to support Trump. Selvaraj replied that such people are not really Christians at all, but are actually tools of the devil..

“They appear like a sheep among the sheepfold, among Christianity, but they are not of God,” Selvaraj said. “It’s the devil who has planted them, so they have the spirit of what the Apostle John calls the spirit of the Antichrist in them. So it is they who stir up the people and stir up the hornet’s nest against a righteous king, a righteous man, so that either he is moved out of office or so discouraged that he cannot stand up for righteousness that he will end up compromising.”

Bakker then led his audience in prayer that God will protect Trump, end abortion, and save America.

When the prayer was over, Selvaraj added that Christians should also pray for Trump when he travels oversees carrying out God’s mission of spreading righteousness.

“Because he’s God’s chosen righteousness man,” Selvaraj said, “God will use him to effect righteousness on other world leaders and turn other nations around to righteousness.”

These people are mentally ill.  And godless.

Written by Jim

1 Aug 2018 at 9:06 pm

The Local Cult is Hosting ‘Movie Month’ This August

In their advert for the series the cultists write

In the quest for crowds the local cult has decided that the Gospel itself isn’t good enough for its groupies and so they have to add gimmicks to their services so that the herd will want to show up.

Unfortunately this ‘Gospel +’ something mentality is the root of all heresy.  When Jesus isn’t enough, something has to be added and anything that added is heresy.  If Jesus isn’t enough, then you aren’t a Christian nor is yours a Christian Church, you are a cultist and your church is a cult.

Written by Jim

1 Aug 2018 at 10:38 am

This isn’t Baptism And That Isn’t a Church

Everything about this is wrong.  Everything.

These people are deluded.

Written by Jim

29 Jul 2018 at 5:41 pm

The Bee Stings the Idolater Robert Jeffress

After announcing a “Freedom Sunday” patriotic service scheduled for this weekend, Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas confirmed to his congregation that a brand-new sermon series on the topic of idolatry would be kicking off the following Sunday.

Jeffress confirmed the “big, patriotic blowout” would be a “one-time thing,” after which the pastor would begin preaching a new, regular series on not having any other gods before the Lord. Titled “Idols,” the six-week series will focus on all the different things Christians have a tendency to worship rather than giving glory to God alone, according to Jeffress.

“We get to set aside 60 minutes this coming Lord’s Day to stand in awe of this great Christian nation, in place of our usual time of worship,” Jeffress said. “I’ll be preaching a sermon called ‘America is a Christian Nation,’ we’ll get to recognize those who served in the military, and we’ll have fireworks, songs honoring America, and just some really great patriotic worship.”

“But don’t worry,” he added. “Next week we’ll be right back in the Word, checking out all the places God warns us about worshiping anything except for Him in our exciting new series.”

At publishing time, Jeffress had further confirmed his sermon series after “Idols” will focus on how the Christian’s citizenship is in heaven, and not any nation on this earth.

Jeffress really is holding a ‘patriotic’ worship service at his cult.  If there were any biblically literate people on staff there or members of the cult they would denounce this regularly and loudly.  Alas, there aren’t.

Written by Jim

21 Jun 2018 at 7:03 pm

TBN – The Blasphemy Network

Last week, TBN teased a name change for the long-running Christian channel, and finally revealed the new official name for the station on a live broadcast this morning: The Blasphemy Network.

“Trinity Broadcasting Network simply wasn’t right for our brand, as it contains accurate theology and no indication that we regularly broadcast completely heretical teachings,” TBN president Matt Crouch said on the live show. “We wanted to remind our audience that we’re all about the blasphemy, 24/7.”

Coinciding with the name change, the network also announced an exciting new variety show called “The Benny Hinn Show,” a workout program tentatively titled “Steven Furtick Pumps You Up,” and a spin-off of an old MTV show dubbed “Cribs: Prosperity Preacher Edition.”

Pentebabbleists… they do love their heresy.

Written by Jim

11 Jun 2018 at 6:40 pm

This Is Why You Don’t Allow Dilettantes to Have a Bible

Their mishandling of it has serious consequences:

A B.C. couple whose religious views are too extreme even for churches and pastors and put them at odds with family, doctors, social workers and anyone else trying to help them with their daughter, have lost their battle for custody of her.

The unusual child custody trial featured the couple speaking in tongues to a stuffed animal they said transmitted the word of God directly to them and refusing legal assistance because Jesus Christ — through the stuffed lion — was their lawyer, witness and judge.

In November, when the girl was one, the Provincial Court of British Columbia formally declared she was in need of protection and placed her in provincial custody, a decision the parents appealed to the B.C. Supreme Court. The parents claimed the judge violated their Charter rights, discriminated against them as Christians and made procedural errors.

Both parents were raised in Christian homes, she in Ontario and he in B.C., but strayed from their roots until reconnecting with their beliefs as adults. They met in 2014 and shared a mutual interest in their own emerging view of the Christian faith and were privately married a year later, court heard.

They are not named to protect the identity of the child.

They had unstable working and living arrangements, moving around various communities in B.C., court heard. Their views started interfering with their relationships with others, including Christian communities. Several churches banned them and even called police for assistance when the couple set out to “purge churches of evil influences,” according to court records.

At one point, after the birth of their child, they were criminally charged with causing a disturbance after police were called to a church in West Kelowna where the parents were trying to cleanse demonic influences, court heard.

“It appears that, due to their strong religious beliefs, they are intolerant of those who do not espouse identical views. This includes other Christians,” Justice Diane MacDonald wrote in her ruling, released this week.

Etc. So, do keep the Bible out of the hands of the unhinged.

Written by Jim

7 Jun 2018 at 6:50 pm

Blasphemy

If Calvin were alive this blasphemous wretch would be a pile of ash.

Written by Jim

1 Jun 2018 at 4:51 pm

Jesse Duplantis and Satan Team Up

In a public appearance with the prosperity gospel televangelist Tuesday, Lucifer the Prince of Darkness committed to matching all donations dollar for dollar that disciples of Jesse Duplantis make for his new private luxury jet.

“I hereby vow to double every dollar you give to help my friend Jesse get his new $54 million Falcon 7X,” Satan said at the press conference, as a smiling Duplantis looked on. “Together, we can help him reach his fundraising goal and spread his demonic message of abundance and prosperity all across the globe.”

“Please, if you can find it in your heart, make a love offering today,” Satan added in a solemn plea.

Satan promised to wire the funds from his account in the underworld straight to Duplantis’s ministry as soon as he reaches half of his fundraising goal. The pair claim to have had a long working relationship, with Satan contributing his demonic power to the minister’s last three jet purchases and helping to provide a large portion of the televangelist’s underlying theology.

You know it’s true.

Written by Jim

29 May 2018 at 3:16 pm

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

On April 28, 2011, Mark Taylor—a recently retired firefighter—woke at 2 a.m. Unable to return to sleep, he turned on his TV. Clicking through channels, he stopped at C-Span. The man on his screen was Donald Trump.

At that moment Mark heard God say, “You are hearing the voice of the next president.” Little did Mark know several dozen video recordings of others documented that they also heard the same message and were equally convinced it came from God.

Years later, while receiving treatments for post-traumatic stress—remnants from his work as a firefighter—Mark’s therapist, Dr. Don Colbert, an expert in the treatment of PTS, asked permission to share Mark’s unusual journal entry with his wife, an international ministry networker, Mary Colbert. Mary immediately recognized the rhythm and cadence of the April 28 journal entry as a message that was very important and special.

After seeking counsel and much prayer, Mary created the Nation Builders prayer network, which grew organically to hundreds of thousands of Christians uniting in prayer for our nation and its leadership.

Mark and Mary eventually co-wrote a book chronicling his remarkable journey from his stressful work as a firefighter, through the evening election night, 2016. Part of that book is the basis for The Trump Prophecy, a film focusing on the power of prayer and the biblical mandate to pray for those in authority over us.

Ugh.  The madness people will suck up when they have not even the most basic understanding of Scripture.

Written by Jim

21 May 2018 at 4:35 pm

If You Hear ‘Laurel’ You Are Predestined to Eternal Destruction

I think this is probably true:

After the internet became deeply divided over an audio clip that sounds as though it says either “Yanny” or “Laurel” depending on the listener, one Calvinist commentator came forward to declare that only the elect can hear “Yanny” in the clip, and that those who can only hear “Laurel” are vessels of wrath, set aside for destruction.

“God has chosen from eternity past those whom He would regenerate to have the ears to hear ‘Yanny’ in this clip,” the amateur Calvinist theologian, Mark Lynel, wrote on his Facebook page. “The rest are reprobates, consigned to destruction for their willful rejection of the obvious meaning of the clip.” Lynel went on to state that the Lord has “made plainly obvious” the nature and character of the clip, but that because of man’s sin, he suppresses the true interpretation through his unrighteousness.

When Lynel learned of certain people who could hear both names pronounced clearly within the clip, he rejected the idea sternly. “Surely, there are many among us who are not of us. There are always those who say ‘Lord, Lord’ and do miracles in His name, but the Lord will separate the Laurels from the Yannys on the last day.”

Oh, and the dress is BLUE!

Written by Jim

17 May 2018 at 2:18 pm

Andy Stanley is a Marcionite Heretic and No Christian

North Point Community Church Senior Pastor Andy Stanley has stated that Christians need to “unhitch” the Old Testament from their faith.  In the final part of a recent sermon series, Stanley explained that while he believes that the Old Testament is “divinely inspired,” it should not be “the go-to source regarding any behavior in the church.”

That’s what Marcion said, and the Church rejected it, and him.  Put plainly, one CANNOT understand the New Testament without the Old and there is a LOT in the OT that is extremely valuable.  Jettisoning it for the sake of some pseudo- Gospel is heresy. Damnable heresy.  And Stanley is a damnable heretic.

Written by Jim

10 May 2018 at 1:52 pm

If This Is What Your ‘Church Service’ Looks Like, Stop Calling Yourself a Church

You may be a nightclub, but you aren’t a Church.

Written by Jim

1 May 2018 at 7:11 am

Buffonery: Alcohol Church

Not the Onion.

Dressed in a red robe and a gold-trimmed bishop’s miter, the clergyman pours whiskey into his cupped hand and anoints the forehead of the man sitting before him.

“You are hereby invested as a minister … This is a double tot,” he says of the remaining whiskey in the chalice. He hands it to the new minister, who downs it.

“Hallelujah!” shout the congregation members who erupt in singing and dancing, swigging from bottles of beer.

Welcome to Gabola Church, which celebrates the drinking of alcohol. The South African church was started eight months ago and has found an enthusiastic following.

It won’t be long till Steven Furtick or Joel Osteen see this as something crowd enticing.

Written by Jim

21 Apr 2018 at 8:32 am