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Category Archives: Heresy and Heretics

The Bee Stings the Idolater Robert Jeffress

After announcing a “Freedom Sunday” patriotic service scheduled for this weekend, Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas confirmed to his congregation that a brand-new sermon series on the topic of idolatry would be kicking off the following Sunday.

Jeffress confirmed the “big, patriotic blowout” would be a “one-time thing,” after which the pastor would begin preaching a new, regular series on not having any other gods before the Lord. Titled “Idols,” the six-week series will focus on all the different things Christians have a tendency to worship rather than giving glory to God alone, according to Jeffress.

“We get to set aside 60 minutes this coming Lord’s Day to stand in awe of this great Christian nation, in place of our usual time of worship,” Jeffress said. “I’ll be preaching a sermon called ‘America is a Christian Nation,’ we’ll get to recognize those who served in the military, and we’ll have fireworks, songs honoring America, and just some really great patriotic worship.”

“But don’t worry,” he added. “Next week we’ll be right back in the Word, checking out all the places God warns us about worshiping anything except for Him in our exciting new series.”

At publishing time, Jeffress had further confirmed his sermon series after “Idols” will focus on how the Christian’s citizenship is in heaven, and not any nation on this earth.

Jeffress really is holding a ‘patriotic’ worship service at his cult.  If there were any biblically literate people on staff there or members of the cult they would denounce this regularly and loudly.  Alas, there aren’t.

 

TBN – The Blasphemy Network

Last week, TBN teased a name change for the long-running Christian channel, and finally revealed the new official name for the station on a live broadcast this morning: The Blasphemy Network.

“Trinity Broadcasting Network simply wasn’t right for our brand, as it contains accurate theology and no indication that we regularly broadcast completely heretical teachings,” TBN president Matt Crouch said on the live show. “We wanted to remind our audience that we’re all about the blasphemy, 24/7.”

Coinciding with the name change, the network also announced an exciting new variety show called “The Benny Hinn Show,” a workout program tentatively titled “Steven Furtick Pumps You Up,” and a spin-off of an old MTV show dubbed “Cribs: Prosperity Preacher Edition.”

Pentebabbleists… they do love their heresy.

 
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Posted by on 11 Jun 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Pentebabbleism, Pentebabbleists, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology

 

This Is Why You Don’t Allow Dilettantes to Have a Bible

Their mishandling of it has serious consequences:

A B.C. couple whose religious views are too extreme even for churches and pastors and put them at odds with family, doctors, social workers and anyone else trying to help them with their daughter, have lost their battle for custody of her.

The unusual child custody trial featured the couple speaking in tongues to a stuffed animal they said transmitted the word of God directly to them and refusing legal assistance because Jesus Christ — through the stuffed lion — was their lawyer, witness and judge.

In November, when the girl was one, the Provincial Court of British Columbia formally declared she was in need of protection and placed her in provincial custody, a decision the parents appealed to the B.C. Supreme Court. The parents claimed the judge violated their Charter rights, discriminated against them as Christians and made procedural errors.

Both parents were raised in Christian homes, she in Ontario and he in B.C., but strayed from their roots until reconnecting with their beliefs as adults. They met in 2014 and shared a mutual interest in their own emerging view of the Christian faith and were privately married a year later, court heard.

They are not named to protect the identity of the child.

They had unstable working and living arrangements, moving around various communities in B.C., court heard. Their views started interfering with their relationships with others, including Christian communities. Several churches banned them and even called police for assistance when the couple set out to “purge churches of evil influences,” according to court records.

At one point, after the birth of their child, they were criminally charged with causing a disturbance after police were called to a church in West Kelowna where the parents were trying to cleanse demonic influences, court heard.

“It appears that, due to their strong religious beliefs, they are intolerant of those who do not espouse identical views. This includes other Christians,” Justice Diane MacDonald wrote in her ruling, released this week.

Etc. So, do keep the Bible out of the hands of the unhinged.

 

Blasphemy

If Calvin were alive this blasphemous wretch would be a pile of ash.

 
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Posted by on 1 Jun 2018 in Heresy and Heretics

 

Jesse Duplantis and Satan Team Up

In a public appearance with the prosperity gospel televangelist Tuesday, Lucifer the Prince of Darkness committed to matching all donations dollar for dollar that disciples of Jesse Duplantis make for his new private luxury jet.

“I hereby vow to double every dollar you give to help my friend Jesse get his new $54 million Falcon 7X,” Satan said at the press conference, as a smiling Duplantis looked on. “Together, we can help him reach his fundraising goal and spread his demonic message of abundance and prosperity all across the globe.”

“Please, if you can find it in your heart, make a love offering today,” Satan added in a solemn plea.

Satan promised to wire the funds from his account in the underworld straight to Duplantis’s ministry as soon as he reaches half of his fundraising goal. The pair claim to have had a long working relationship, with Satan contributing his demonic power to the minister’s last three jet purchases and helping to provide a large portion of the televangelist’s underlying theology.

You know it’s true.

 
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Posted by on 29 May 2018 in Heresy and Heretics

 

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

On April 28, 2011, Mark Taylor—a recently retired firefighter—woke at 2 a.m. Unable to return to sleep, he turned on his TV. Clicking through channels, he stopped at C-Span. The man on his screen was Donald Trump.

At that moment Mark heard God say, “You are hearing the voice of the next president.” Little did Mark know several dozen video recordings of others documented that they also heard the same message and were equally convinced it came from God.

Years later, while receiving treatments for post-traumatic stress—remnants from his work as a firefighter—Mark’s therapist, Dr. Don Colbert, an expert in the treatment of PTS, asked permission to share Mark’s unusual journal entry with his wife, an international ministry networker, Mary Colbert. Mary immediately recognized the rhythm and cadence of the April 28 journal entry as a message that was very important and special.

After seeking counsel and much prayer, Mary created the Nation Builders prayer network, which grew organically to hundreds of thousands of Christians uniting in prayer for our nation and its leadership.

Mark and Mary eventually co-wrote a book chronicling his remarkable journey from his stressful work as a firefighter, through the evening election night, 2016. Part of that book is the basis for The Trump Prophecy, a film focusing on the power of prayer and the biblical mandate to pray for those in authority over us.

Ugh.  The madness people will suck up when they have not even the most basic understanding of Scripture.

 
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Posted by on 21 May 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Pentebabbleism, Pentebabbleists, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology

 

If You Hear ‘Laurel’ You Are Predestined to Eternal Destruction

I think this is probably true:

After the internet became deeply divided over an audio clip that sounds as though it says either “Yanny” or “Laurel” depending on the listener, one Calvinist commentator came forward to declare that only the elect can hear “Yanny” in the clip, and that those who can only hear “Laurel” are vessels of wrath, set aside for destruction.

“God has chosen from eternity past those whom He would regenerate to have the ears to hear ‘Yanny’ in this clip,” the amateur Calvinist theologian, Mark Lynel, wrote on his Facebook page. “The rest are reprobates, consigned to destruction for their willful rejection of the obvious meaning of the clip.” Lynel went on to state that the Lord has “made plainly obvious” the nature and character of the clip, but that because of man’s sin, he suppresses the true interpretation through his unrighteousness.

When Lynel learned of certain people who could hear both names pronounced clearly within the clip, he rejected the idea sternly. “Surely, there are many among us who are not of us. There are always those who say ‘Lord, Lord’ and do miracles in His name, but the Lord will separate the Laurels from the Yannys on the last day.”

Oh, and the dress is BLUE!

 
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Posted by on 17 May 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Humor

 

Andy Stanley is a Marcionite Heretic and No Christian

North Point Community Church Senior Pastor Andy Stanley has stated that Christians need to “unhitch” the Old Testament from their faith.  In the final part of a recent sermon series, Stanley explained that while he believes that the Old Testament is “divinely inspired,” it should not be “the go-to source regarding any behavior in the church.”

That’s what Marcion said, and the Church rejected it, and him.  Put plainly, one CANNOT understand the New Testament without the Old and there is a LOT in the OT that is extremely valuable.  Jettisoning it for the sake of some pseudo- Gospel is heresy. Damnable heresy.  And Stanley is a damnable heretic.

 
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Posted by on 10 May 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology

 

If This Is What Your ‘Church Service’ Looks Like, Stop Calling Yourself a Church

You may be a nightclub, but you aren’t a Church.

 
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Posted by on 1 May 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Pentebabbleism, Pentebabbleists, pseudo-christianity

 

Buffonery: Alcohol Church

Not the Onion.

Dressed in a red robe and a gold-trimmed bishop’s miter, the clergyman pours whiskey into his cupped hand and anoints the forehead of the man sitting before him.

“You are hereby invested as a minister … This is a double tot,” he says of the remaining whiskey in the chalice. He hands it to the new minister, who downs it.

“Hallelujah!” shout the congregation members who erupt in singing and dancing, swigging from bottles of beer.

Welcome to Gabola Church, which celebrates the drinking of alcohol. The South African church was started eight months ago and has found an enthusiastic following.

It won’t be long till Steven Furtick or Joel Osteen see this as something crowd enticing.

 
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Posted by on 21 Apr 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Pentebabbleists, pseudo-theology

 

The ‘Israel Bible’- The Latest Accessory for the Heretical ‘Christian’ Zionists

Israel365 has partnered with Menorah Books, a division of Koren Publishers in Jerusalem, to publish the first hard-copy edition of The Israel Bible. This new Bible, set to release to the public in June, is the world’s first Bible (Tanakh) centered around the land of Israel, the people of Israel and the dynamic relationship between them. The Israel Bible is designed for both Jewish and non-Jewish readers.

Israel365 promotes the biblical significance and physical beauty of the land of Israel according to Deuteronomy 11:12 in The Israel Bible: “A land which Hashem your God cares for; the eyes of Hashem your God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even until the end of the year.”

In other words, the meaning of Scripture is tortured so thoroughly that it is no longer recognizable as Scripture at all and the text is so bastardized that it now serves only the political purpose of justifying Israel’s claims to land presently occupied by Arabs and Palestinians.

Pandering to the Zionists should be the title of the volume.

 
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Posted by on 16 Apr 2018 in Heresy and Heretics

 

Quote of the Century

Nathan O. Hatch’s The Democratization of American Christianity contains this gem (with thanks to Ted Beam for it)-

schaff

The upstarts with the ready tongues do indeed deceive the multitude.  And today they are Joel Osteen, TD Jakes, Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Rachel Held Evans, and the rest of the self appointed pseudo-theologians and pseudo-Christians whose works litter the bookstores and Jesus Junk shacks and tv stations today and since Americans have no power to discern spirits, they are happy to buy into the arbitrary fancies and baseless opinions of these rankly theologically amorphic false teachers.

 

Not the Onion: Liberty University is Making a Film About Trump’s Divine Choice as President… And the Illuminati Creating Hurricanes…

Mark Taylor is a former firefighter who claims that while he was watching Fox News back in 2011, God personally told him that Donald Trump would become president of the United States. Taylor initially thought that meant that Trump would challenge President Obama when he ran for re-election in 2012, but when that didn’t happen, Taylor realized that was because it was God’s plan to keep Obama in office for a second term so that Americans could “build a righteous anger” necessary to elect Trump and thereby save the world.

When Trump was elected president in 2016, Taylor penned a book titled “The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story Of The Man Who Saw Tomorrow… And What He Says Is Coming Next” and quickly made a name for himself as a modem-day prophet and radical conspiracy theorist.

In the last year, Taylor has claimed that God told him that Trump will replace five members of the Supreme Court, three of whom will be removed from the bench after being indicted for corruption, and that two of the five currently living former presidents will die as punishment for criticizing Trump, while the other three will be imprisoned and possibly executed for treason.

Taylor, who claims that Trump will release the cures for cancer and Alzheimer’s disease during his second term in office and asserted that God made journalist Megyn Kelly ill as a “warning shot” to all those who would dare to criticize Trump, believes that thousands of elite satanic pedophiles have been secretly arrested and that we will soon start seeing them prosecuted via military tribunals that will “make Nuremberg look like a cakewalk.” Taylor actually predicted that we’d see mass arrests in February, but the fact that that obviously didn’t happen doesn’t seem to have harmed his standing as a “prophet” in any way.

Last year, Taylor asserted that Hurricanes Harvey and Irma, which devastated parts of Texas and Florida respectively, were created and controlled by the Illuminati to punish the areas of the country that voted for Trump and to serve as a “training run” for a massive witchcraft attack against the president. On top of that, Taylor warned that the Freemasons and the Illuminati are using a special frequency to change people’s DNA in order to make them hate Trump so that they are unable to see how God is using him to save America.

Lunatics.  And worse, heretics.

 
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Posted by on 21 Mar 2018 in Heresy and Heretics

 

The Evil Angels According to Luther

The first evil angel is Tatian, with his Encratites, who forbade marriage and wanted to become righteous by their works, like the Jews. For the doctrine of works-righteousness had to be the first doctrine in opposition to the gospel; and it also remains the last, except that it is always getting new teachers and new names, such as the Pelagians, etc.

The second [evil angel] is Marcion, with his Cataphrygians, Manichaeans, Montanists, etc., who extol their own spirituality above all the Scriptures, and who move—like this burning mountain [8:8]—between heaven and earth, as, for example, Münzer and the fanatics in our day.

The third is Origen, who embittered and corrupted the Scriptures with philosophy and reason, as the universities have hitherto done among us.

The fourth is Novatus, with his Cathari, who denied penance and claimed to be purer than others. Of this same sort were, later, the Donatists. Our clergy, however, are all four [of these evil angels] at once. The scholars who know history will be able to figure this out, for it would take too long to relate and prove everything [here].*

Scholars of our own day will recognize that every heresy ever to assault the Church has been around since the beginning.  From the Montanists to the Pentebabbleists and from the Origenists to the Emergents and from the Novations to the Osteenites and everything in between.  When it comes to heresy, there really is nothing new under the sun and every new evil is just an old evil renewed.

_________________
*Martin Luther, Luther’s Works, Vol. 35: Word and Sacrament I (ed. Jaroslav Jan Pelikan, Hilton C. Oswald, and Helmut T. Lehmann; vol. 35; Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1999), 402–404.

 
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Posted by on 19 Mar 2018 in Church History, Heresy and Heretics, Luther, Modern Culture

 

Dan Johnson Jumped off a Bridge Because He Was Under Investigation for Molesting Minors…

So his ‘church’ needs a new ‘pastor’, in case you want to send along your resume to them. Here he is with his ‘congregation’ before he threw himself off the bridge. The taller guy in the middle that the camera keeps centering on. Oh, and the ‘Church’ had drunken sex parties… so that tells you all you need to know and the gun lust shows you their real lord. (With thanks to Justin for the heads up).

 
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Posted by on 1 Mar 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Total Depravity

 

Poor Ireland and England

The world’s most notorious heretic is headed your way.  Prepare for more blarney than your islands can hold.

 
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Posted by on 24 Feb 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-theology

 

‘Desiring God’ has Become a Fount of Heresy

Those ignorant of the Bible, and thus theology, have no ethical foundation that can be called Christian. Hence, your advice is both ignorant and malignant. Demonic.

 
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Posted by on 10 Feb 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology, Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

 

Pentebabbleists Are Insane

Since October 2017, over 2300 Texans have died due to the flu. In the face of that fact, Gloria Copeland, wife of word of faith preacher Kenneth Copeland, took to Facebook yesterday to declare that there is no flu season.

Although she doesn’t explicitly discourage getting a flu shot, it certainly sounds like she wants her hearers to trust Jesus instead of a shot. In the video, she says:

We’ve already had out shot. He bore out sicknesses and carried our diseases. That’s what we stand on. And by His stripes, we are healed.

After she prays for healing for every person with the flu, she says:

Jesus Himself gave us the flu shot. He redeemed us from the curse of flu. And we receive it and we take it and we are healed by His stripes.

At the end of the talk, she says to “inoculate yourself with the Word of God.”

She also used the video to sell an upcoming “healing seminar.”

Etc.  And yeah, those pentebabbleists are absolutely unhinged.

 
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Posted by on 1 Feb 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, Pentebabbleism, Pentebabbleists, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology

 

Paula White is a Heretic, and You’re a Fool if You Believe Her

Donald Trump’s spiritual adviser has suggested that people send her money in order to transform their lives, or face divine consequences.

Paula White, who heads up the president’s evangelical advisory committee, suggested making a donation to her ministries to honor the religious principle of “first fruit,” which she said is the idea that all firsts belong to God, including the first harvest and, apparently, the first month of your salary.

“Right now I want you to click on that button, and I want you to honor God with his first fruits offering,” she said in a video shared to her website, in which she encourages her followers to donate to her ministries to get blessings from God.

“If God doesn’t divinely step in and intervene, I don’t know what you’re going to face—he does,” she said.

She’s a heretic, pure and simple.  And if you listen to her, and send her as much as a penny, you’re a fool.

 
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Posted by on 9 Jan 2018 in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology

 

Apparently Most Bible Publishers Don’t Know Anything About the Bible

Otherwise they wouldn’t offer editions so festooned with idiocy.  To flatten the Bible out- to make it a single voiced narrow focus is blasphemous.

It’s not one story.  It’s not all about one name.  And it isn’t the ‘Jesus Bible’.

 
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Posted by on 30 Dec 2017 in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology