It’s the first day of Prophecy Week at the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Or, as students here like to call the place, Christian Hogwarts.
The auditorium of the civic center in Redding, California, where first-year students have class, is so full of eager, neatly dressed young people that it’s initially impossible to find a seat. The roomful of some 1,200 students hums with expectant energy: People talk in clusters, clutching their books to their chests and stealing eager glances at the stage. There are so many languages spoken here it’s hard to keep track: English of all flavors, spoken with Australian and British and South African accents; Chinese; Korean; Portuguese. It’s a strange medley for a place like Redding, an economically depressed rural outpost about 200 miles north of San Francisco, in the heart of Northern California’s Trump country.
The students are waiting for today’s lecturer, Kris Vallotton, one of the school’s founders and a prophet so prolific he literally wrote the book on it — Basic Training for the Prophetic Ministry, a combined textbook and workbook used by Bethel students to learn how to hear, and speak, God’s words. (“Name the five things that distinguish a false prophet from a true prophet.” “What is the difference between a vision and a trance?”)
The basic theological premise of the School of Supernatural Ministry is this: that the miracles of biblical times — the parted seas and burning bushes and water into wine — did not end in biblical times, and the miracle workers did not die out with Jesus’s earliest disciples. In the modern day, prophets and healers don’t just walk among us, they are us.
To Bethel students, learning, seeing, and performing these “signs and wonders” — be it prophesying about things to come or healing the incurable — aren’t just quirks or side projects of Christianity. They are, in fact, its very center.
What garbage. Luther and the rest were right about these fanatical spiritualists- they are driven by Satan.
Then you don’t know jack about Christianity.
via Chris T.
Please, just stop all talking.
Pat Robertson Blames Vegas Shooting On Disrespect For Trump, The National Anthem And God
Do Christianity a favor, Pat. Just shut up.
It’s quite telling that the very people who are positioned to say something to Trump and have a hearing have said nothing. These are his sycophants, deniers of the Gospel, and damnable heretics on his council-
· Michele Bachmann – Former Congresswoman
A.R. Bernard – Senior Pastor and CEO, Christian Cultural Center
· Mark Burns – Pastor, Harvest Praise and Worship Center
· Tim Clinton – President, American Association of Christian Counselors
· Kenneth and Gloria Copeland – Founders, Kenneth Copeland Ministries
· James Dobson – Author, Psychologist and Host, My Family Talk
· Jerry Falwell, Jr. – President, Liberty University
· Ronnie Floyd – Senior Pastor, Cross Church
· Jentezen Franklin – Senior Pastor, Free Chapel
· Jack Graham – Senior Pastor, Prestonwood Baptist Church
· Harry Jackson – Senior Pastor, Hope Christian Church
· Robert Jeffress – Senior Pastor, First Baptist Church of Dallas
· David Jeremiah – Senior Pastor, Shadow Mountain Community Church
· Richard Land – President, Southern Evangelical Seminary
· James MacDonald – Founder and Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel
· Johnnie Moore – Author, President of The KAIROS Company
· Robert Morris – Senior Pastor, Gateway Church
· Tom Mullins – Senior Pastor, Christ Fellowship
· Ralph Reed – Founder, Faith and Freedom Coalition
· James Robison – Founder, Life OUTREACH International
· Tony Suarez – Executive Vice President, National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference
· Jay Strack – President, Student Leadership University
· Paula White – Senior Pastor, New Destiny Christian Center
· Tom Winters – Attorney, Winters and King, Inc.
· Sealy Yates – Attorney, Yates and Yates
None of these persons behaves as a Christian. Sadly, not even the Southern Baptists on the list.
And if you think otherwise, you simply know nothing of Christianity-
Except White and her feckless band of merry heretics aren’t 1/100000000000000000000th as intelligent as Tetzel
So, given their resources and their massive bank accounts funded by the fleeced flocks they deceive weekly, what exactly are these three pseudo-Christians doing to help their city? Opening their churches to the displaced? Paying for hotel rooms and food and clothing? Anything? At all?
These three love to self promote but they’re being very quiet these days… I wonder why…
Do Pentebabbleists ever study Theology? I mean really study it? Or is their Montanism enough?
When Bill Clinton was President, Pat Robertson and his ilk blamed every natural disaster that came along on Presidential misdeeds. The same was true when Barack Obama was President. Curiously, that wasn’t the case when either of the Bush’s were President nor has it been the case during the Trump ‘Presidency*’.
Clearly, then, for Robertson and the other weather/ nature interpreting Pentebabbleists it really isn’t about God’s purported will (which they don’t know anyway); it’s about a political statement.
If you want to find a false teacher, look for inconsistency. Where there is inconsistency, there is falsehood. The greatest sign of false teaching is inconsistent teaching
Pat Robertson et al are false teachers. No Christian should follow them. None. To do so is to attach oneself to heresy.
Come, sweet asteroid, come plunge into our planet…
But a bit unrealistically, because Osteen has never actually opened a bible.
After overhearing a pair of Christians discuss 2 Timothy 2:15 in a local coffee shop, pastor and teacher Joel Osteen reportedly discovered for the first time the concept of “rightly dividing the Word of truth.” Inspired by this newfound revelation of how ministers and lay believers alike are to approach the Scriptures, the Lakewood pastor reportedly retrieved a pair of shears and a Bible from his briefcase to try it out for himself.
“Let me just try this—ow! Shoot!” patrons at the cafe heard him exclaim. Shortly thereafter, Osteen was rushed to the hospital with multiple lacerations to his hand and forearm.
The best the minister could piece together, he had attempted to use the shears to rightly divide the Bible he happened to have in his briefcase, and had somehow mangled the Scriptures beyond all recognition, inadvertently wounding himself with several cuts to his hand in the process.
“It was a real whoops-a-daisy!” a smiling Osteen told reporters gathered around his Houston hospital bed Wednesday morning, his hand completely wrapped in thick gauze. “Sometimes we fall down and make mistakes—the Bible calls this ‘boo-boos.’ But the good news is we can declare victory over our hangups and move forward!”
At publishing time, Osteen had been released with strict instructions not to go anywhere near either sharp objects or copies of the Bible, lest he hurt himself and others.
Just don’t. Don’t. I can’t even believe this is a thing. But don’t do it. It’s madness.
Pro tip- you can’t teach the Trinity by using the spinner. If you do, you’re an Arian.
Oh, and if you ‘like’ Rob Bell I’m going to go ahead and defriend you. Immediately. And irretrievably. Light can have no fellowship with darkness.
Sources within Elevation Church, who noted that “he was really on fire,” have confirmed that Pastor Steven Furtick preached a long, moving sermon last Sunday which was entirely about how good he was preaching.
“Man I’m preaching good today,” he is said to have begun, before repeating several slightly-modified versions of the same statement and pumping his fist in the air.
“Whew! I’m preaching good!” he continued to explain to rousing applause. “Lord Jesus, I don’t know why they’re all being so quiet, because I know I’m preaching good right now! C’mon, somebody!”
As he went on to exegete his feelings about how good he was preaching, he revealed that he wasn’t sure everyone quite understood how good he was preaching, before instructing each person present to repeat to him that he was, indeed, preaching good, as he ran through the aisles yelling.
“Turn to your neighbor and say ‘Pastor Steven’s really preaching good’ seven times right now,” he then instructed his congregation once back at the pulpit, adding that they should then turn to their other neighbor and repeat the same phrase 77 times. “Now touch 3 people and say ‘Pastor Steven is preaching so good’ 777 times!” he demanded, to wild cheers.
At publishing time, an inside source confirmed that the sermon resulted in 39 commitments to Elevation Church.
39 of those were shills planted by Furtick to boost his numbers.
These people are counterfeit apostles, dishonest workers disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. There is nothing astonishing in this; even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. It is nothing extraordinary, then, when his servants disguise themselves as the servants of uprightness. They will come to the end appropriate to what they have done. (2 Cor. 11:13-15)
No, heretic, it does not.
It’s not surprising that Voskamp has said something irretrievably nonsensical- it’s surprising that people ‘liked’ what she said. She is a heretic. Let me say that more clearly so her admirers are left with no illusions: Ann Voskamp is a new age crystal gazing Joel Osteen-esque heretic whose teachings are cancer to the body of Christ. This woman should keep silent in, and about, the Church.
There. You’ve been warned. If you continue to hear her, your blood is on your own hands.