Tag Archives: West Virginia

If You Take the Long Ending of Mark Literally, You’ll Die (and You’re Silly)

Pastor Mack Wolford, the son of a snake-handling pastor who died from a rattler bite, lived by faith and died on Sunday, like his father before him, from a serpent bite.  Julia Duin has the riveting story of belief in miracles that defies mere rational understanding. Wolford, 44, “a flamboyant Pentecostal pastor from West Virginia,” refused treatment for snake bites and, like his father before him, died within hours of a Sunday afternoon service in an isolated park.

Guess they didn’t have sufficient faith then…  Crazy Pentebabbleists.

[Yes, I feel badly for their family.  Yes, it’s tragic.  But it’s lunacy.  And the long ending of Mark isn’t even authentic!]

Pastor Mack doing his thing…

West Virginia, Vote Fraud, And the Third World Sheriff

You’d expect to read a story like this of some third world country where some half baked dictator reigned.  Alas, it seems that West Virginia qualifies…

A West Virginia sheriff pleaded guilty to voter fraud in the state’s 2010 primary election including illegally filling in some absentee ballots out of fear he might lose a close election, authorities said on Monday.  Lincoln County, West Virginia Sheriff Jerry Bowman admitted falsifying absentee ballots in a case stemming from an investigation by federal authorities, the U.S. Attorney’s office said.  Also pleading guilty to lying to investigators was Lincoln County Clerk Donald Whitten, the U.S. Attorney said.

Vote fraud… welcome to the third world, West Virginia.  Welcome home.

Where Will NASA’s Defunct Satellite Hit?

Oh that’s an easy one really- it’s going to break apart and a lot of it will burn up and the remainder of large chunks will fall into the sea… except for one big piece that’s going to land right in West Virginia…

If only we knew someone in West Virginia so they could be warned…

But, alas, there really isn’t anyone left in West Virginia.  They’ve all moved to Ohio, the state West Virginians most admire….

Still, if you’re left in West Virginia, take cover on Friday.

I Guess They Teach What Students Can Use in the Real World at Vocational Schools…

Methamphetamine pills

A product of West Virginia Vocational Schools

A West Virginia public vocational school has been shut down indefinitely after traces of methamphetamine were found throughout the building during an investigation of the principal and a teacher. State Police Sgt. Andy Perdue said Monday that traces of the drug were found in the ducts, principal’s office, hallways and bathrooms of the Boone County Career and Technical Center. Perdue says the teacher admitted he smoked meth with the principal in the principal’s office.

Amusingly…

He says police do not have evidence the school was used as a meth lab.

Oh sure- there are traces of meth everywhere but it wasn’t a meth lab. And Elvis hated peanut butter and banana sandwiches too…

Teacher Jack Turley faces charges of manufacturing meth and procuring Sudafed for making meth. Principal Keith Phipps faces charges of purchasing over the legal limit of Sudafed.

Their school motto can be ‘we train our kids for jobs they can really use since no real jobs are available in so much of Appalachia…’

When You Have Children You Have to Watch Them Every Second…

Or they do gross things (that are gross and funny at the same time!)

Mom fail of the day: looked over at Sophia in her stroller at Taco Bell in the mall…and there she was with a long string of gum from under the table. — (Name of mom with-held to protect the guilty. Suffice it to say, she lives in West Virginia and her husband has a top 10 biblioblog….)

Gum from the table bottom… classic, nasty, and grossly funny all at the same time!

The Children Are Rotten and the Parents Teeth are Set on Edge

In West Virginia

Ne'er do well thugs

Erik Wells has come up with a… creative incentive he hopes will motivate parents to keep their kids on track. Wells has drafted a bill that would suspend parents’ driver’s licenses if their students are chronically absent from school.  According to The Charleston Gazette,  Parents who are lax about attendance are sentencing their kids to a life of limited economic opportunity, he said.  The drastic efforts by Wells and others remain controversial, especially after a recent study suggests punishing parents won’t boost students’ attendance.

Brilliant.