The University of St Andrews is Looking for a New Testament Lecturer

If you can tolerate the dank darkness that is Scotland and the naked blue men rushing down from hills and cliffs seeking only to slit your throat who inhabit that Presbyterian land, this may be for you.

Applications are invited for the post of Lecturer in New Testament Studies, in the School of Divinity. You must have appropriate academic qualifications in New Testament Studies (to include a completed PhD and excellent language skills), and demonstrate appropriate experience of teaching and/or show outstanding potential to develop as a successful teacher of the discipline in a University setting. You must have a very strong commitment to research, with the capacity to make an immediate contribution to the established research excellence of the School and a clear programme of anticipated research activity over the coming years.

You must also have a high tolerance for dreary-ness.  Which, I happen to know, many of you do.  Else why would you be here?

The First Scottish Martyr: Patrick Hamilton

Patrick Hamilton was burned at the stake by the Catholics on the 29th of February, 1528.  At St. Andrews!  You can read all about him here.

The harrowing details of his six long hours of torture have been preserved for us by his friend Alesius, himself a sorrowing witness of the fearful tragedy. “He was rather roasted than burned,” he tells us. It may be that his persecutors had not deliberately planned thus horribly to protract his sufferings—though such cruelty was not unknown in France, either then or in much later times. They were as yet but novices at such revolting work, and all things seemed to conspire against them. The execution had been hurried on before a sufficiency of dry wood had been provided for the fire. The fury of the storm, which had prevented the martyr’s brother from crossing the Forth with troops to rescue him, was not yet spent. With a fierce wind from the east sweeping up North Street, it would be a difficult matter in such a spot to kindle the pile and keep it burning, or to prevent the flames, when fierce, from being so blown aside as to be almost as dangerous to the surrounding crowd as to the tortured victim. They did so endanger his accuser, the traitor Campbell, and “set fire to his cowl, and put him in such a fray, that he never came to his right mind.” But, through all his excruciating sufferings, the martyr held fast his confidence in God and in his Saviour, and the faith of many in the Effects of his Constancy. truths he taught was only the more confirmed by witnessing their mighty power on him.

With thanks to the folk at Refo500 for tweeting the tip.

Stay Home

If you’re in the UK.

Motorists have been urged to take extra care in treacherous conditions as snow across much of the UK turns to ice. The Met Office has issued 13 amber warnings for ice after disruption to road, rail and air travel following up to 16cm (6in) of snow in some areas. Hundreds of vehicles were stranded on the M25 and M40, with drivers forced to spend the night in their cars. A third of flights from Heathrow were cancelled and some trains and Tube services also disrupted. Snow fell over parts of Scotland, Wales, northern England and the Midlands on Saturday before sweeping down to London and East Anglia.

The devil’s dandruff has come to make your lives miserable. Stay home.

The UK University with the Highest Dropout Rate

The only university based in the Highlands and islands of Scotland, UHI was granted higher education status in 2000 and full universtity status earlier this year. 23.5 per cent of the 85 first year students who went up to study in 2008 didn’t return the following year.

Wow.

Scotland is the Place to be if You’re a Criminal. Seriously.

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Because apparently there you can be convicted of crimes up to 30 times and still not go to jail.  Is that absurd or what?

Criminals are being successfully prosecuted for up to 40 offences before they are sent to prison thanks to Scotland’s “soft touch” justice system, Labour’s Holyrood leader has said. Iain Gray produced figures at First Minister’s Questions showing six offenders were sentenced to their first jail sentence last year despite having between 31 and 40 previous convictions. Thousands more were only given their first prison sentence after committing up to 30 crimes, according to the official statistics, which were obtained under the Freedom of Information Act.

And I thought our justice system was snivellingly weak willed. Scotland’s got us beat by a mile.  They must have people there like the spineless parents who warn their spoiled brat kids 30 times ‘if you don’t stop that, you’re going to time out… I mean it’…

If I ever snap, you’ll find me in Scotland.