I’ve learned a lot from you these past several years and most particularly these past several months and indeed even weeks. Here’s just a sampling:
1- You don’t have to be intelligent to make it to the top. Since you guys (and gals) are so bereft of sense and sensibility as well as intellect and yet have risen to the top of the political ladder, I feel pretty encouraged. So, thank you.
2- You can up your credit limit any time you want. This one’s especially useful. Now all those bothersome rejection letters for increased credit limits can just be ignored. Whew, what a relief. Now, like you, I’m as free as a bird to become a burden to decent hard working people. Like you, I can just kick the can down the road and let someone else worry about paying off everything I may ever owe. (Sorry Rachel, Doris, but thank you Congress!)
3- You can bicker and accomplish nothing and still feel important! This one really really makes me happy. I think you know why! I’ve learned so much from the way you guys (and gals) act in Washington. It’s just miraculous to me that you manage to get people to value you. I’m filled with as much envy for your achievement as the lowly bloggers who have a mere handful of readers have for me.
4- And best of all, you don’t have to pay your bills! Woohoo! I like this one a lot. Though it’s similar to #2 above they are a bit different. In #2 you pretend to pay but really don’t. Here, you don’t even have to pretend to pay!!!!!
5- So, Congress, when you run up massive bills, pretend to pay them, bicker and snivel and still do nothing, and finally just refuse to pay what you owe, you give me the courage and the strength to do the very same.
I look forward to the day the US defaults on its obligations. That’s the day I’m tearing up all my bills and tossing them in the trash and when my creditors ask me for their money I’ll just tell them that since Congress doesn’t have to pay, neither do I! So, thank you Congress! Not only will you destroy the economy, but you’ll allow me to become a little fragment of the destruction of the economy too!
Hence, I beg you, DO NOT agree to a debt ceiling increase. PLEASE, DEFAULT. Please. So I can opt out too. And I thank you in advance.
[I can’t be charged with contempt of Congress, but I most definitely do have contempt for Congress].