Category Archives: Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

No, Jesus is Not Your Boyfriend, and No, God is not in a ‘Romantic Relationship’ With You…

Good heavens where do people come up with their theology these days?  I mean besides their corrupt imaginations…

Ugh. Just Stop With the Cutesy Yet Meaningless Bumper Sticker Theology

We aren’t little fish and we are never even metaphorically described as such in scripture.  We aren’t born in water because baptism doesn’t regenerate us.  If it did, you could dunk folk all the time against their will and they would be forced into the fold whether they wanted to be or not.  And we don’t ‘continue in water’.  Indeed, that phrase literally makes no sense at all.

Just stop with the cutesy yet meaningless bumper sticker theology garbage.  It only impresses the ignorant.  Indeed, only the ignorant would think it meaningful precisely because of their ignorance.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh…

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

This is what happens when ideology drives interpretation:  baseless supposition.

The claim is false on its face.  Name one single author of one single biblical text that moderns (and that’s the anachronistic problem) would call oppressed.  Name just one, and then show me how you know that person was oppressed.

I’ll wait.

Twitter ‘Theology’ that Makes me Sigh

It escapes me how avoiding the worship of God Almighty furthers a cause. Any cause. Staying home hurts no one but the violator of Heb 10:25.

Nope

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

It’s a paltry god what can be driven out at all.  That’s not the God of the Bible.  That’s the god of human imaginings.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

Oh please.  Come on.

Andy Stanley Thinks He’s The Holy Spirit

But he isn’t.  Not even close.  And it’s only the Spirit that can make grace irresistible.

Twitter Theology That Makes me Sigh

The Holy Spirit is a better guide than your ‘convictions’.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

Oh Molty… what are we going to do with you?  The ‘god’ you envision is utterly powerless and totally dependent on three women or else his entire plan falls apart?  Your God is too small.  You need a better theological hermeneutic than anthropocentrism.  Sigh.

The ‘Christian Century’ Sure Isn’t What It Used To Be

1- You don’t receive anyone’s prayers unless you’re God.

2- If you don’t know you’re going to die, you’ve not been paying attention.  At all.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh: Or, The Hand Wringers Are So Annoying, Aren’t They?

#ICYMI: NT Wright Ascends to Heaven From Bible Conference in Houston!

Witnesses say that just before he was seen to fly skyward without a rocket pack, he spread out his arms, and then up he went, shouting ‘buy my giant book which is very much like all my other less giant books or the wrath of God will descend onto your unrighteous heads… sinners…’

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Witness stories diverge at this point but many swear that as he disappeared out of sight through a giant hole in the ceiling created by the hurling of his new book through it that he was received either by Chuck Norris or Ryan Seacrest.

He promised to return.  Oh that we will all still be alive when he does…  Meanwhile, many will come in his name, proclaiming his gospel and urging souls to follow Tom’s teachings (also known as TT).  If you want to get to heaven, and spend eternity with Tom, you have to embrace TT.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

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Erm… “That very hour the word was fulfilled concerning Nebuchadnezzar; he was driven from men and ate grass like oxen; his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair had grown like eagles’ feathers and his nails like birds’ claws.” (Dan. 4:33).

Wouldn’t it be nice if people knew Scripture?  Before they blathered about it?  So I wouldn’t have to be all

nicholas

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

No, it isn’t.  God is eternal.  Music isn’t eternal.  Music is temporal.  And if you had any theological training you’d understand that.

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Yeah, You Don’t Want the Bible to Get in the Way Of Living your Life, Do you Precious…

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Who wants any of that bothersome ‘you shall be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect’ stuff getting in the way, right precious?

This is exactly what’s wrong with so much that calls itself Christian these days.  The exaltation of personal desire and the abrogation of even the clearest and simplest Scriptural adjuration.

Will Someone Please Buy Jurgen Moltmann A Bible?

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Until you do…

Ἥξει δὲ ἡμέρα κυρίου ὡς κλέπτης ἐν ᾗ οἱ οὐρανοὶ ῥοιζηδὸν παρελεύσονται, στοιχεῖα δὲ καυσούμενα λυθήσεται, καὶ γῆ καὶ τὰ ἐν αὐτῇ ἔργα οὐχ εὑρεθήσεται.

(2 Pet. 3:10)

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

Once again Peter Leithart has shown himself to be more interested in catchy phrases than facts.  Chronicles begins with Adam and in no way can Adam be described as a ‘Royal tribe’.

Leithart loves playing fast and loose with scripture just like he does history.

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UPDATE: and then this happened

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I’ll give him an A for dodge effort but that isn’t what his tweet said.  Is it.

Twitter Theology that Makes Me Sigh

Maybe ‘preach the Gospel’ really should top the list instead of coming in as an afterthought…

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