Category Archives: Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

When People Attempt to Discuss Theology Without Knowing Scripture…

They say ridiculous and ignorant things.

‘Desiring God’ has Become a Fount of Heresy

Those ignorant of the Bible, and thus theology, have no ethical foundation that can be called Christian. Hence, your advice is both ignorant and malignant. Demonic.

Nope, Not Even Close, But Thanks for Trying…

Corrected, this reads ‘The Book of Revelation is a reminder to a persecuted community that no power on earth or in heaven is greater than the power of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Jesus.  It levels a warning against the world’s opposition to His power and comforts His disciples with the assurance that ultimate victory is His and thus theirs’.

So kindly stop trying to hijack Scripture to fit your political agenda.  It means more when you let it speak than when you try to force it into your blinkered perspective.

That’s A Special Kind of Theological Ignorance Right There

Does He Even Own a Bible?

Has he ever read it?  Ever studied the Prophets of the Hebrew Bible?  Ever familiarized himself with the meaning of the Hebrew word underlying the English ‘prophet’?  Or does he just prefer to mash Buddhism into his ‘Christianity’?  And has he ever read the Gospels?  Or does he just abstract them until they become what he wishes them to be?

Why is an eisegete the best known Catholic in America?

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

I don’t know what ‘atop Babel’ is supposed to mean but I do know two things and they are historically irrefutable:

  • The Bible was written by elites.  It wasn’t written for people who couldn’t read and in the ancient world that was just about everybody.
  • The Bible was written for elites.  Those were the only people who had the time, resources, and interest to bother with texts.

So, it’s simply a fact that the notion that the Bible is ‘the people’s book’ or some such thing is plain silly.  The public today can’t even read it (because they have to read it in translation- a function of the elite).

If people want people to read the Bible that’s fine.  Just don’t pretend it is ‘God’s letter to you’ unless you are among the exceptional few who can both read it and have the tools to understand it.

No, Jesus is Not Your Boyfriend, and No, God is not in a ‘Romantic Relationship’ With You…

Good heavens where do people come up with their theology these days?  I mean besides their corrupt imaginations…

Ugh. Just Stop With the Cutesy Yet Meaningless Bumper Sticker Theology

We aren’t little fish and we are never even metaphorically described as such in scripture.  We aren’t born in water because baptism doesn’t regenerate us.  If it did, you could dunk folk all the time against their will and they would be forced into the fold whether they wanted to be or not.  And we don’t ‘continue in water’.  Indeed, that phrase literally makes no sense at all.

Just stop with the cutesy yet meaningless bumper sticker theology garbage.  It only impresses the ignorant.  Indeed, only the ignorant would think it meaningful precisely because of their ignorance.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh…

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

This is what happens when ideology drives interpretation:  baseless supposition.

The claim is false on its face.  Name one single author of one single biblical text that moderns (and that’s the anachronistic problem) would call oppressed.  Name just one, and then show me how you know that person was oppressed.

I’ll wait.

Twitter ‘Theology’ that Makes me Sigh

It escapes me how avoiding the worship of God Almighty furthers a cause. Any cause. Staying home hurts no one but the violator of Heb 10:25.

Nope

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

It’s a paltry god what can be driven out at all.  That’s not the God of the Bible.  That’s the god of human imaginings.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

Oh please.  Come on.

Andy Stanley Thinks He’s The Holy Spirit

But he isn’t.  Not even close.  And it’s only the Spirit that can make grace irresistible.

Twitter Theology That Makes me Sigh

The Holy Spirit is a better guide than your ‘convictions’.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh

Oh Molty… what are we going to do with you?  The ‘god’ you envision is utterly powerless and totally dependent on three women or else his entire plan falls apart?  Your God is too small.  You need a better theological hermeneutic than anthropocentrism.  Sigh.

The ‘Christian Century’ Sure Isn’t What It Used To Be

1- You don’t receive anyone’s prayers unless you’re God.

2- If you don’t know you’re going to die, you’ve not been paying attention.  At all.

Twitter Theology That Makes Me Sigh: Or, The Hand Wringers Are So Annoying, Aren’t They?

#ICYMI: NT Wright Ascends to Heaven From Bible Conference in Houston!

Witnesses say that just before he was seen to fly skyward without a rocket pack, he spread out his arms, and then up he went, shouting ‘buy my giant book which is very much like all my other less giant books or the wrath of God will descend onto your unrighteous heads… sinners…’

wright_ascends

Witness stories diverge at this point but many swear that as he disappeared out of sight through a giant hole in the ceiling created by the hurling of his new book through it that he was received either by Chuck Norris or Ryan Seacrest.

He promised to return.  Oh that we will all still be alive when he does…  Meanwhile, many will come in his name, proclaiming his gospel and urging souls to follow Tom’s teachings (also known as TT).  If you want to get to heaven, and spend eternity with Tom, you have to embrace TT.