Zwinglius Redivivus

Calling it A Church Doesn’t Make it a Church- And This Isn’t a Church

Posted in pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 13 Aug 2018

No sermons at this church: Congregants wander silent and barefoot through nature at Church of the Wild

Nope. Not a Church. Sorry not sorry. It bears none of the marks of the Church and simply falls short theologically of what εκκλησια means.

The sound of drumming filtered through the trees and called the people from their cars.

Toting folding chairs and slathered in bug spray, they came from the parking lot — some young, some old; some in pairs, some alone; many in Tevas, a few barefoot. Without speaking, they set their chairs in a circle in a leafy clearing in McLean’s Turkey Run Park. They grabbed drums laid out on a patterned blanket, gripped the instruments between their knees and joined in the pounding.

“Your hands know what to do,” intoned professional drum circle facilitator Katy Gaughan. “Just drum! There is no right way and no wrong way.”

On a hot and muggy Sunday, Church of the Wild was about to begin.

The church, which meets once a month in parks across the District, Maryland and Virginia, draws about 50 congregants. Services, presided over by the Rev. Sarah Anders, typically run an hour and a half. Worshipers drum, sing and listen to recitations of poetry in an effort to connect with nature and fulfill the church’s stated goal: honoring “the mutual indwelling of the Divine with the Earth and all of its beings.”

Not a church.  Not close to a church.  Nothing like a church.  Calling it a church makes the one who does so a liar, and not it a Church.

This Clown, Again

Wrong. Christ isn’t Deborah and Barak isn’t the Church.  Christ is Christ, Barak is Barak, the Church is the Church, and Deborah is Deborah.  They aren’t lego blocks you can interchange at will, heretic.

giphy-downsized (1)

Someone Else Who Needs a Bible

Posted in pseudo-theology by Jim on 6 Aug 2018

Nope.  Firstly, the truth doesn’t need permission to manifest itself, it does naturally and profoundly when Scripture is explained and Christ is proclaimed.  And secondly, the church isn’t a place where chaos reigns but where order and decency prevail.  Chaos belongs to the order of darkness, not light.

If anyone thinks himself to be a prophet or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things which I write to you are the commandments of the Lord. But if anyone is ignorant, let him be ignorant. …  Let all things be done decently and in order. (1 Cor. 14:37-40)

In sum, Scripture sets the agenda for worship, not fiat and fad theology.

Another Book I Won’t Be Reading

Posted in pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 4 Aug 2018

When an author has his name bigger than ‘God’ on the cover of his book, you know exactly what he is all about.

The Local Cult is Hosting ‘Movie Month’ This August

Posted in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 1 Aug 2018

In their advert for the series the cultists write

In the quest for crowds the local cult has decided that the Gospel itself isn’t good enough for its groupies and so they have to add gimmicks to their services so that the herd will want to show up.

Unfortunately this ‘Gospel +’ something mentality is the root of all heresy.  When Jesus isn’t enough, something has to be added and anything that added is heresy.  If Jesus isn’t enough, then you aren’t a Christian nor is yours a Christian Church, you are a cultist and your church is a cult.

Signs of the Times

Posted in pseudo-christianity, pseudo-scholarship, pseudo-theology by Jim on 30 Jul 2018

RHE has a new book out.  So I’ve fixed the cover so it’s more accurate.  You’re welcome.

This isn’t Baptism And That Isn’t a Church

Everything about this is wrong.  Everything.

These people are deluded.

#ICYMI – The Bee Stings the Ridiculous Interpretations of Revelation

Posted in mockery, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-scholarship, pseudo-theology by Jim on 28 Jul 2018

In a groundbreaking discovery sure to change the future of eschatological studies, scholars revealed Monday that the autograph of the book of Revelation originally included a detailed end times and rapture chart to help readers make sense of the apocalyptic literature.

Archaeologists working on the island of Patmos recently uncovered the original autograph of the book and found the intricate chart detailing the church age, pre-tribulation rapture of the church, seven-year period of turmoil, and subsequent millennial reign of Christ. The chart also featured detailed descriptions of each of the twenty-one dispensations of history, scholars confirmed.

“This is an exciting discovery,” lead archaeologist Dr. Wendell Holmes told reporters. “End-times charts have become a popular past-time of the church over the past century, and now we know there is solid biblical warrant for their existence.”

Holmes further stated that the find confirmed that the futurist, premillennial framework for interpreting the book of Revelation is the correct one, much to the delight of modern end times prophecy experts like John Hagee, David Jeremiah, and Hal Lindsey.

At publishing time, scholars had also confirmed the discovery of the Apostle John’s rudimentary, parchment-based prophecy blog, on which he posted constant prophecy updates predicting the Lord Jesus would return by 1988.

It’s funny because there are people who really think like that.

This Is What Happens When People try to Out Ann Voskamp Ann Voskamp…

They say ridiculous, nonsensical, baseless things about Jesus.

False

Posted in pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 16 Jul 2018

The Cross is at the heart of the Christian faith and thus at the heart of the Christian life.  Death to self, obedience to the Lordship of Christ.  These are the very essence of the Gospel from which flow all righteous acts.  What Martin is advising is nothing more than a philosophy of humanitarianism, which is NOT the Gospel.  It is in fact a false gospel.  A substitute gospel of human merit.  Nothing more.  Yet it ‘sounds’ right, but it is not right.  It is Christianity devoid of the Cross and that is no Christianity worth knowing.

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The ‘God of the OT is Wrathful and the God of the NT is Loving’ is a False Dichotomy and A Lie

Posted in pseudo-christianity, pseudo-scholarship, pseudo-theology by Jim on 13 Jul 2018

The premise of the tweet below is simply false.  The God portrayed in the Old Testament shows love (hesed) to people constantly.  Read Hosea.  Read Exodus!   And the God portrayed in the New Testament can get as angry as he pleases.  Read the Gospels (with their many references to hell and judgment).  Read the book of Revelation!

This false dichotomy has been around too long and casual readers of the Bible need to stop acting as if it were legit, because every time they do, they put their ignorance on full display.

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Oh Pentebabbleists, You’re a Constant Source of Mirth…

What with your insane pseudo-exegesis and moronic claims.  Do you guys even Bible?

Last week, End Times author Paul McGuire appeared on the Jim Bakker Show and declared that President Trump is currently engulfed in “the greatest spiritual battle in the history of all mankind.” He expanded on his claim on his radio program this Thursday, this time clarifying that the battle is with “advanced beings” who possess “supernatural multidimensional” powers.

And it gets even weirder.

“The physical battles that we see in our world and nation right now are a direct manifestation of the spiritual battles going on in the invisible realm,” McGuire said in an audio clip flagged by Right Wing Watch.

“There are people very high up in what is called the globalist occult or globalist Luciferian rulership system, and this rulership system consists of what used to be called the Pharaoh-God Kings, it’s what Aldous Huxley called ‘The Scientific Dictatorship,’ and these are advanced beings who know how to tap into supernatural multidimensional power and integrate it with science, technology, and economics,” he continued.

McGuire even had the hierarchical structure of these advanced beings pegged, saying they are at the “highest level of the pyramidic organizational structure in which the highest ranking officers, if you will, of the New World Order and Mystery Babylon are ruling the earth through an organizational structure that looks like the pyramid on the back of the U.S. dollar.”

“And they control the world because they understand that the true control of the world is done through supernatural mechanisms.”

You guys are just complete lunatics.

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Nope

Posted in pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 4 Jul 2018

Nope.  Nope.  Nope.

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If Your Pastor Calls Himself ‘Apostle’ And His ‘Church’ Has Aerialist Performances, You Need to Find a Real Church to Attend

Because this isn’t a real Church.  This is a show.  It isn’t about worship it’s about entertainment.  It isn’t Christianity, it’s an infomercial for poor theology and worse ecclesiology.

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Pentebabbleists Really Are Insane- And They Are What Happens When Theology isn’t Moored to Scripture

If Pentebabbleists tied their theology to Revelation, they wouldn’t fall for the insipid ignorance so widespread in their spiritualism.  They certainly wouldn’t say things like this guy has said:

Trump-loving right-wing pastor and rabid conspiracy theorist Carl Gallups appeared on Jim Bakker’s television program yesterday, where he warned that opposition to President Trump is “very demonic.”

“I think that is why there is so much of an attack on Donald Trump in America,” Gallups said. “I think this is very spiritual … and, at some levels, very demonic, a demonic attack.”

Gallups said that “Satan hates” Trump’s support for Israel and so “Satan is raising up antagonism right here in America” against the president.

“A lot of people don’t know it, they think it is all political,” he added. “I think a lot of it is deeply, deeply spiritual. You talk about the deep state? There is a deeper state.”

Later in the broadcast, Bakker urged viewers to support his network, saying that God wants his daily television program to remain on the air because it is not only important to Trump personally but vital to helping Republicans maintain control of Congress in the upcoming midterm elections. Bakker claimed that Trump called him directly after the 2016 election and spent 20 minutes thanking him and telling him that his show “was one of the things that made a big difference in this election.”

“The spirit of Antichrist is trying to destroy all Gospel,” Bakker warned. “Christian television, if the enemy, if the opposition ever gets a hold of this country again; believe me, you have no idea how much this world hates the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”

“They hate Trump so bad, I’m afraid they might even have him assassinated,” Bakker said, asking Gallups what will happen “if we have a switch back to an anti-Christ government” in the midterms.

“The light will go out and it will get dark quickly,” Gallups responded.

These people are so ignorant of Scripture that they think darkness is light and evil is good.  Isaiah has something to say to them:

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil;
That put darkness for light, and light for darkness;
That put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!  Is 5:20

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Twitter Theology that Makes me Sigh

Nope- Love isn’t God.  Scripture nowhere says love is God.  Saying love is God is idolatry, pure and simple.

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Jeff Sessions is Using the Bible to Justify Separating Children From their Parents, And He’s 100% Wrong About It

Posted in Dilettante, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 14 Jun 2018

This is sickening and vile. Sessions quoting the Bible out of context is exactly why dilettantes like him, distorters of Scripture, shouldn’t be allowed within 100 miles of the Bible. He should never talk about the Bible again- because he doesn’t understand it at all.

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TBN – The Blasphemy Network

Last week, TBN teased a name change for the long-running Christian channel, and finally revealed the new official name for the station on a live broadcast this morning: The Blasphemy Network.

“Trinity Broadcasting Network simply wasn’t right for our brand, as it contains accurate theology and no indication that we regularly broadcast completely heretical teachings,” TBN president Matt Crouch said on the live show. “We wanted to remind our audience that we’re all about the blasphemy, 24/7.”

Coinciding with the name change, the network also announced an exciting new variety show called “The Benny Hinn Show,” a workout program tentatively titled “Steven Furtick Pumps You Up,” and a spin-off of an old MTV show dubbed “Cribs: Prosperity Preacher Edition.”

Pentebabbleists… they do love their heresy.

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More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

On April 28, 2011, Mark Taylor—a recently retired firefighter—woke at 2 a.m. Unable to return to sleep, he turned on his TV. Clicking through channels, he stopped at C-Span. The man on his screen was Donald Trump.

At that moment Mark heard God say, “You are hearing the voice of the next president.” Little did Mark know several dozen video recordings of others documented that they also heard the same message and were equally convinced it came from God.

Years later, while receiving treatments for post-traumatic stress—remnants from his work as a firefighter—Mark’s therapist, Dr. Don Colbert, an expert in the treatment of PTS, asked permission to share Mark’s unusual journal entry with his wife, an international ministry networker, Mary Colbert. Mary immediately recognized the rhythm and cadence of the April 28 journal entry as a message that was very important and special.

After seeking counsel and much prayer, Mary created the Nation Builders prayer network, which grew organically to hundreds of thousands of Christians uniting in prayer for our nation and its leadership.

Mark and Mary eventually co-wrote a book chronicling his remarkable journey from his stressful work as a firefighter, through the evening election night, 2016. Part of that book is the basis for The Trump Prophecy, a film focusing on the power of prayer and the biblical mandate to pray for those in authority over us.

Ugh.  The madness people will suck up when they have not even the most basic understanding of Scripture.

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Andy Stanley is a Marcionite Heretic and No Christian

Posted in Heresy and Heretics, pseudo-christianity, pseudo-theology by Jim on 10 May 2018

North Point Community Church Senior Pastor Andy Stanley has stated that Christians need to “unhitch” the Old Testament from their faith.  In the final part of a recent sermon series, Stanley explained that while he believes that the Old Testament is “divinely inspired,” it should not be “the go-to source regarding any behavior in the church.”

That’s what Marcion said, and the Church rejected it, and him.  Put plainly, one CANNOT understand the New Testament without the Old and there is a LOT in the OT that is extremely valuable.  Jettisoning it for the sake of some pseudo- Gospel is heresy. Damnable heresy.  And Stanley is a damnable heretic.

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