Category Archives: pseudo-theology

Church Marketing’s Goal: Just Get Them in the Doors…

Forget all that tiresome and outdated biblical stuff like ‘go into all the world and make disciples’.  That’s too hard and people just aren’t interested in that.  Instead of going deep, go as shallow as you can and get those butts in seats, because that’s what it’s all about…

Thom can teach you the latest marketing manipulations to get you a gusher of guests… (what a word to choose)…  Although the Bible never tells us to make ‘guests’, but disciples.

There Is Something Vaguely Anti-Semitic in Importing The New Testament Into The Old

As though the Old Testament has no meaning (or cannot be understood properly) without the New Testament when the truth is, the New Testament cannot be properly understood without the Old Testament.

Nope.  You aren’t the first to notice something because you’re a brilliant exegete; you’re first to notice something that no one else ever has because you’re insane.

Again, the New Testament needs the Old to be understood; but the Old doesn’t need the New.  So just let the Old Testament be the Word of God in its own right, ok?  Bloody Marcionites.

Paula White: Pentebabbleist Heretic

She’s at it again, spewing her pentebabbleist rubbish:

@RightWingWatch tweets

Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White says Christians “are mandated by God” to send thousands of dollars to help Jim Bakker build a new TV studio and their donations will be counted by “a Department of Treasury in Heaven” that will determine their eternal reward.

Calling all suckers.  Calling all suckers.

A Note to My Readers

If some of you (I know most aren’t, because most are too intelligent or they wouldn’t visit here) buy Paula White, archheretic, false teacher, pentebabbleist, prosperity gospel con artist’s new book (or any book by her) that’s being promoted by Franklin Graham, Robert Jeffress and others, let it be known that you have swallowed falsehood and lies and furthermore are enabling and supporting the vilest sort of pseudo-Christian garbage.

Heretics promote heresy, which is why Jeffress et al are promoting White.  Don’t join them.

Please Take Note: Eisegesis and Decontextualizing Go Hand in Hand

yup

That One Time An Ignorant ‘Preacher’ Said that The King James is the Bible and You Don’t Need Hebrew or Greek

Hate yourself?  If you answered yes, then watch this clip.  Your head will implode.  This is the kind of ignorance that Fundamentalists are famous for.  This sort of ignorance really is beyond help.  And the sad thing is, there are professional theologians who also think that knowing the biblical languages is unimportant.  And Seminaries that don’t require them.  And graduate programs in biblical studies that don’t require them.  Consequently, they are absolutely no different than the ignorant preacher in this clip.

NT Wright and #ExileGate

False prophet!!!!

Watch the video of the false prophet falsely predict the Exile’s 4900 year duration.

Pentebabbleist the Fireman Pseudo-prophet At it Again With his Nutbag Ramblings

As time goes on, Mark Taylor‘s prophecies are getting increasingly incoherent. It’s almost as if he needs to convolute his prophecies more and more so it’s more difficult to point out the fact that they never come true. Either way, we have a new warning from Taylor, and it involves human traffickers, the Red Cross, and the Old Testament god Baal.

According to Taylor, Baal “feeds off the blood of the innocent,” namely aborted fetuses. But thanks to increased restrictions to abortions access in the US, that food source is “running dry.” That’s where the Red Cross comes in.

“We all know the Red Cross is corrupt. They’re into all of this,” he said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch, adding that “they are literally grabbing people … in broad daylight.”

“We are entering into one of the most dangerous phases of this fight,” he continued. “I tell people, ‘I don’t care if you are a Christian or not, if you don’t have a concealed weapons permit, you need to get one. You need to learn how to use a weapon and you need to be carrying it right now because this is a very dangerous time that we are going to be entering into.’”

Watch out for a mass blood drive orchestrated by America’s blood banks, Taylor says, “because their sources are running out, so they can use that human blood for sacrifices, they can use it for drinking it, or whatever it is they do.”

Imbecile. The dilettante loon knows nothing of Baalism.  Or anything.  Firefighters should fight fires, not talk about theology.  They’re awful at it.  So, Mark, here’s your Dilly, pentebabbleist nutbag.

Many Recent Books About Jesus In One Sentence

hmd2011_open_blank_book

Wrong- For Many Reasons

If you get your theology from tee-shirts… well you’re a heretic.

Here’s Your Dilly, Joe

Joe is what happens when ignorant dilettantism meets biblical proclamation.  So, in recognition of your utter unsuitedness to any sort of pastoral task, here’s your Dilly, Joe!

Wrong. Have You Never Heard of, For Instance, Theodore of Mopsuestia? Or Jerome?

This is what happens when you have a blind hermeneutical commitment and are unwilling to recognize your own error.

What it Looks Like When False Teachers Talk About Theology

Instead of being accurate, they prefer to be crass and imbecilic.  If you’re unsure of why the ELCA is dying, look no further.  Bolz-Weber and her ilk are killing it off as fast as they can.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Educated Women Make Terrible Wives and Mothers’

Pentebabbleists gonna babble I reckon.

GOP Rep. Sean Duffy announced he’s resigning from Congress because his wife, Fox News commentator Rachel Campos-Duffy is pregnant with their ninth child — a child who will likely have to undergo heart surgery soon after birth. According to hyper misogynist and far-right Christian radio host Jesse Lee Peterson, that’s a bad move.  “Why does she have to work?” Peterson asked in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “Why doesn’t she stay home, be a wife, a mother, and help raise the children? And now this guy has to step down because this baby apparently has some issues … He shouldn’t quit his job for that. I guarantee you she is making him do it.”

Peterson went on to slam Campos-Duffy as “a selfish, egotistical woman,” adding that her husband is “too beta male to make her do the right thing.”  “This woman is a selfish woman,” Peterson continued. “She has nine kids and she’s trying to be like a man … Women, God has given you the gift of being the assistant of the man, to watch over his children, to make sure things are well at home, to be there when the kids come home, to cook, clean, provide in that way. There is no greater job for a woman than that. And I don’t know why these men would marry these women if they don’t have that mindset. It’s like being married to another man. It’s selfishness, it’s not love.”

Peterson then advised Rep. Duffy that he needs to be out “providing” while his wife stays at home.  “I wouldn’t recommend you marry these educated women with these degrees; they don’t make for good wives and mothers.”

Apparently enough people listen to this ignoramus that he can maintain his absurd radio show.  The problem is never really the ignorant mouthpiece.  The problem is their imbecilic enablers and supporters.

Nope

If you want to ‘instagram-worthy’ the Bible to make it appealing to a subgroup, you’re not doing theology, you’re doing marketing.  And the Bible doesn’t need you to market it.  You don’t transform it.  It transforms you.  Even if you’re a millennial.

So, nope.

Mark Driscoll Thinks People Care What He Thinks

But he’s wrong because 1) he’s a theological fraud and 2) he’s a grammatical ignoramus:

Paula White: Pentebabbleist, Heretic, And False Teacher… But I Repeat Myself

What garbage theology these pentebabblesit loons adopt. Wretched Montanists.

Twitter ‘Theology’ That Makes Me Sigh

Nope.  Reverence belongs to God alone.  And your husband isn’t God.  Or even a god.  And besides, there’s not a speck of Scripture where wives are commanded to reverence their husbands.  So, shame on you for misrepresenting the Bible.

‘Have God’s Ear in Prayer???’…

That’s not how prayer works.  God hears the prayers he wants to hear, not prayers uttered because someone is using a book, any book.  Lifeway, stop selling junk theology.  Get some theologians on staff and stop thinking the latest marketing craze is good enough.  Stetzer is gone.  Stop acting like he would act.

Robert Jeffress is Projecting

For it is he and the court evangelicals who have created an idol they happily worship-  bit.ly/30cX7iV