Category Archives: pseudo-theology

More Pentebabbleist Megachurch Nutbaggery

I thought this was in The Onion or the Babylon Bee… But it isn’t.  It’s in the Christian Post.  Because it’s real.

An Oregon church that instituted a ban on fat people as part of a slew of mandatory guidelines to be a part of the congregation’s worship team has come under fire online for the discriminating rule it says is necessary, in part, for the anointing to flow through team members.

Officials at the controversial church identified as the New Creation Church, in Hillsboro, Oregon, initially had the “Worship Team Guidelines” posted on their website but removed it after it began receiving unwanted attention. A copy of the guidelines, however, was made available elsewhere and it details the ban on “excessive weight” among worship team members along with a number of other typical holiness requirements common to Pentecostal churches, like evidence of speaking in other tongues.

“No Excessive weight. Weight is something that many people have to deal with. Make sure that you are taking care of your temple, exercising and eating properly,” the church warned.

The Christian Post reached out to the church on Thursday about the document and a frustrated church member responded: “Thank you for calling but we have no comment.”

It is made very clear in the document that while image is very important in this house of God, worship team members must also dress with moderation.

“We want the worship team to look the best they can! Remember that the way we look is of utmost importance. We are the first thing the congregation sees. People do judge by appearance. We never get a second chance to make that first impression. Please be sure that your style and clothing bring honor and glory to God, isn’t excessive and doesn’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself,” it said.

Despicable.  And deplorable.  This isn’t a Church.  It is a pentebabbleist cult.

Fact Check Your Books


Here’s what Luther actually said-

As far as that goes, we are all consecrated priests through baptism, as St. Peter says in I Peter 2[:9], “You are a royal priesthood and a priestly realm.” (Martin Luther, Luther’s Works, Vol. 44: The Christian in Society I (ed. Jaroslav Jan Pelikan, Hilton C. Oswald, and Helmut T. Lehmann; vol. 44; Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1999), 127.)

So, yeah, your thesis is wrong, Brazos.  ‘We are ALL consecrated PRIESTS’ means we are all, as believers, Priests.  If that isn’t the priesthood of the believer, pray tell, what precisely is it?

Please Take Note: Eisegesis and Decontextualizing Go Hand in Hand


So You Still Don’t Think Paula White is a Heretic?

Then you don’t know jack about Christianity.


via Chris T.

Pentebabbleist Please: Hurricanes and Gays and God’s Wrath

Oh boy, here come the ‘hurricanes are God’s wrath against the gays’ pentebabbleists again… right on cue

Dear Pentebabbleists, if I may, might I request that you cease and desist attempting to discern the will of God in natural disasters.  God hasn’t told you what he’s up to.  Stop pretending that he has.  When you misrepresent God do you know what that’s called?  That’s right, precious, it’s called lying.

I know prophets, dear pentebabbleists, and you are no prophets.  None of you.  None.  Not one.

Pat Robertson Has Committed the Sin of Blasphemy Against the Holy Spirit

Televangelist Pat Robertson has come to the defense of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who had a disastrous performance at Monday night’s debate. Apart from lying repeatedly and interrupting Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton several times, Trump was also seen to be sniffing.

Howard Dean, a medical doctor and former Democratic presidential candidate, suggested Trump may been using cocaine, but Robertson had a more spiritual explanation.

“Trump sniffing may have been a sign of the Holy Spirit coming out of him,” said Robertson on “The 700 Club.” “The Holy Spirit affects people in strange ways. Some people go into a frenzy, some people start laughing uncontrollably, some people bark like dogs. Apparently, Trump sniffs.”

Many Evangelical Christians believe Trump, a thrice married former casino owner who appeared on the cover of Playboy, has been ordained by God.  According to Right Wing Watch, Lance Wallnau, an Evangelical Christian, told Charisma magazine, that Trump’s decision to hire Kellyanne Conway and Breitbart CEO Steve Bannon was divinely motivated.

No Pat, that isn’t the Holy Spirit in Donald Trump, and you’ve just committed the sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.  Congratulations, you’ve just damned yourself.

This is What Happens When Business Majors instead of Theologians Serve as Pastors

After all, who needs the Holy Spirit when your ‘worship service’ (if you can honestly call it that) can be aided by the use of colors whose specific purpose is to manipulate your audience emotionally…

As Peter said to Simon Magus- mutatis mutandis

… τὸ ἀργύριόν σου σὺν σοὶ εἴη εἰς ἀπώλειαν…