Category Archives: pseudo-theology
Paula White and More of Her Terrible, Awful, Biblically Empty, Theologically Inappropriate, Bad Advice
Paula says…
Meanwhile, the Bible says…
‘The heart is more devious than any other thing, and is depraved; who can pierce its secrets? (Jer. 17:9)
So if you take Paula’s very bad advice, you only find yourself ruined. Don’t be like Paula. Don’t follow your heart.
Eisegesis 101
I heard an ELCA pastor last night say that the story of the Centurion and his request that Jesus heal his servant was a story about the Centurion (Luke 7:1-10) and his ‘boyfriend’.
He claimed that παις in Greek means ‘boyfriend’ in English. This is eisegesis 101. This is simply a word describing a youngster.
Furthermore, when the Centurion returns home he finds his δουλος well and whole. Every occurrence of the English word ‘servant’ is δουλος in this story with the single exception of the Centurion’s description of his παις. This is simply a term of endearment. The Centurion cares about his young servant. The Centurion does not, however, call the servant his ‘boyfriend’.
When one deals with passages of Scripture reading one’s own biases and preferences into the text unwarranted is eisegesis. And eisegesis is not exegesis.
If interpreters of texts cannot be fair and honest with texts, they shouldn’t make use of them.
Trevor Is Why Pretending to Be A Theologian and Being a Theologian Are Not the Same Thing
And what qualifies dear Trevor to hold such an idiotic view? Why he’s a college student with a passion, of course. Who is in the process of earning a bachelor’s degree. In business admin. Not theology. Business admin. And he’s a social media manager. And, again, he’s passionate.
Trevor Sheatz is the Social Media Manager for Living Waters. He is a junior at Cal State Fullerton pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration. He is currently in the process of writing Defined by God’s Past, Not Yours, a book about how the gospel practically transforms every major area of our daily lives. Trevor is passionate about using social media to advance the gospel and solid biblical truths.
So how is Trevor qualified as a theologian? Well he isn’t, of course. But this is America, where you don’t have to know anything to talk about everything.
Anyway, Trev, here’s your Dilly-
When Pentebabbleist ‘Theology’ Goes Wrong, People can Die
Theology matters. Bad theology leads to bad decisions. And people can die.
Le Pasteur Franklin Ndifor, fondateur de l’église Kingship ministry basée à Bonaberi dans le quatrième arrondissement Douala, est décédé samedi des suites du Covid-19. Le quartier Bonaberi a connu une folle journée dès l’annonce du décès de l’ancien candidat à l’élection présidentielle de 2018 au Cameroun.
Le médecin légiste et l’équipe venus de l’hôpital de district de Bonassama vont constater une mort due au coronavirus. Ils feront appel aux autorités pour la confirmation des faits.
What Better Click Bait than ‘The Mark of the Beast and COVID-19’?
And then when you get there the article informs you that there’s no connection between the two- but now that you’ve been sucked in by the deceptive title, why not hang out and read about the author’s view of the ‘beast’ anyway…
It won’t be long now till some pretend theologian trying to sell books to the gullible and ignorant has one titled ‘Christ and Covid-19’ or some such garbage… wherein the two totally unrelated topics are united only on the cover of the book… It would be the ultimate ‘click bait’ wouldn’t it. Fortunately, no one is that smarmy….
Because the world isn’t already crappy enough.
Karl Barth: Marcionite
It’s as though for Barth, the Hebrew Bible doesn’t exist and Jeremiah, Isaiah, Hosea, and the rest know nothing of God and have nothing to say of God or humanity…
Oh Karl- you do annoy sometimes. And your view, as here stated, isn’t even Christian.
This is Why American Christians are So Theologically Ignorant
They listen to garbage, and no one in their lives love them enough to tell them that they listen to garbage.
Oh Precious, I’ve Heard them All Before. I’ve Read Church History, and your Side Lost
But here’s your Dilly-
Pat Robertson Knows Where COVID-19 Really Originates…
I can’t even even even anymore with these Pentebabbleist nutbags and their millions of followers.
More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery
A conservative evangelical pastor has suggested to his followers that God will help multiply their toilet rolls amid the coronavirus pandemic.
In a clip posted to Twitter, pastor Rodney Howard-Browne, leader of the Florida-based Revival Ministries International, told his congregation that “this should be a time of supernatural sustenance, where what you have in your hand will multiply.”
“And every day there will be multiplications,” he continued. “You look at your toilet paper and you think I’m going to run out of toilet paper, but you have another roll where that one was and you don’t know how did that even take place.”
Howard-Brown added: “Are the toilet paper rolls getting together and having families now? What is taking place? When you look again, there’s still enough. You think you’re going to run out but when you look again there’s still enough. That’s supernatural sustenance.”
Pentebbableist nutbaggery.
The Worst Theological Take on the Pandemic Yet
Don’t do theology if you aren’t qualified. And this person is most definitely NOT qualified.
In Tampa Bay, Florida, At ‘River’ ‘Church’ Yesterday…
COVID-19 denial was part of the service…
@joshtpm –Big church arrive taking place now in Florida, live-streamed. COVID denial part of the sermon.
This is not wisdom. This is tempting God.
UPDATE: Well look who has been arrested… More here.
Howard-Browne has officially been arrested and looks none too pleased in his mug shot. He’s been booked for unlawful assembly and for violating health and safety rules.
Some Theologians Are Just Plainly Crazy
“There is a hidden grace in poverty, and happy is he who knows how to find it.” – Vincentius
[The problem of course is that the Bible never describes poverty as some sort of meritorious state. Vincentius is what happens when people think they can earn redemption].
Lying Pentebabbleist Pastor Gonna Lie…
A Louisiana pastor is reportedly ignoring public health warnings intended to prevent the spread of COVID-19 coronavirus by continuing to hold packed church services for over 1,000 people.
Rev. Tony Spell held a crowded service Tuesday night at his Life Tabernacle Church in East Baton Rouge, according to WAFB. Although Louisiana Governor John Bel Edwards has banned gatherings of more than 50 people and President Donald Trump recently suggested groups of no more than 10, Spell believes there is no risk to his congregation because the virus is “politically motivated.”
“It’s not a concern. The virus, we believe, is politically motivated. We hold our religious rights dear and we are going to assemble no matter what someone says,” Spell told the outlet. “I had 1,170 in attendance Sunday. We have 27 buses on Sundays picking up people in a five-parish area.”
Spell also claimed that the Louisiana National Guard showed up to his church after the service and warned that they would use force to shut down further gatherings. However, WAFB said the claim was false, citing a colonel in the National Guard.
The pastor also suggested that his congregants were not at risk from COVID-19 because the church is a “hospital” where “anointed handkerchiefs” have the ability to heal people of multiple diseases.
“Our church is a hospital where the sick can come and get healing,” Spell reportedly said during the service. “Cancers are healed here, people are healed of HIV in these services, and we believe that tonight, we’re also going to pass out anointed handkerchiefs to people who may have a fear, who may have a sickness, and we believe that when those anointed handkerchiefs go, that healing virtue is going to go on them as well.”
Healings from cancer and HIV aren’t happening there and their collective isn’t free from the pandemic. The lying pentebabbleist pastor is lying to make himself look holy. How ironic.
Paula White Wants You To Send Her Money…
So she can wage a spiritual battle against the corona virus… Because she’s a grifter, a pentebabbleist, a false teacher, and Trump’s ‘spiritual’ adviser….
