Category Archives: pseudo-theology

More Proof that Most People Shouldn’t Be Allowed Anywhere Near the Bible

The Problem With Pentebabbleism…

Is that, among other things, it is impervious to truth.

For millions of charismatic Christians, the Capitol riot doesn’t change the truth: Trump’s win has been prophesied.

False prophecy. But they are unable to realize it. Very pathological. And very sad.

Looking Back on the Most Insane Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery of 2020

This story from February takes the prize for being the clearest example of pentebabbleist nutbaggery of the year:

The pastor who believes his backside gas heals people… so he passes gas on them…

If you missed it, go read it now.

Nope, Not Even Close, But Thanks for Trying…

Reminder: get your information about biblical studies from biblical scholars.

PS- There’s no such thing as a ‘biblical doctrine of the preservation of Scripture’.  Nor is there any place in the bible where it ‘speaks of itself’.

The Dumbest Tweet of 2020

1- ‘Dangerously Charismatic’?  That’s ignorant right there.

2- Only possibly said by someone COMPLETELY ignorant of the history of Christianity, of publishing, of theology, and of the way the Church works.

3- And yet he allows ignorant people like this to say stupid things all of the time… because of Free Will.  This guy shouldn’t say anything about such things.  He’s not qualified.  And staying one night at a Holiday Inn doesn’t make him so.

This Is Joel Osteen’s House…

Why did his ‘Church’ need over 4 Million Dollars of PPP funds?

Why Did Multi-Millionaire Joel Osteen’s Church Get Over 4 Million Dollars of PPP Funds?

Why?

Lakewood Church received a $4.4 million Paycheck Protection Plan loan during the coronavirus pandemic, according to federal data. The loan was disbursed in July of this year.

U.S. Small Business Administration data, which was released at the beginning of December, showed that Lakewood Church’s PPP loan was created by Bank of America. The megachurch’s hefty loan was the third-largest PPP loan approved for a Houston-area entity during all of July and August, according to Chris Matthews at Houston Business Journal.

Evidently Joel and Victoria couldn’t be bothered to help out their own staff and wanted taxpayers to do it, even though Joel and Victoria are multimillionaires.

Multimillionaire wolves in sheep’s clothing.

This Could Not Be More False

If you ARE reading the Old Testament allegorically, you aren’t reading the Old Testament at all.  You’re reading INTO the Old Testament the fevered imaginings of a lunatic.

If you ARE reading the Old Testament as a revelation of Christ, you aren’t reading the Old Testament at all.  You’re reading INTO the Old Testament the fevered imaginings of a lunatic.

Vile Idolatry

Fundamentalist idolaters fail to understand one very simple theological truth: only God is perfect.  And that’s what makes them heretics.

When You Don’t Study The Bible, I Guess All You Have Left is A Novel…

But, and let me say this as clearly as possible, if your Church is led by people who offer ‘novel studies’ in the place of Bible study, get of of Gomorrah.  Find yourself a Church where Scripture plays a central role.  Or just go join the Lion’s Club and stop pretending to be a Christian.

Are we to Assume that The Reason He Caught Covid Was Premarital Sex?

Filed under ‘hoisted on your own petard’ or ‘hanged upon your own gallows, like Haman…’

The Rev. Irvin Baxter Jr., who suggested the coronavirus pandemic was a warning from God about the “sin of fornication,” died Nov. 3 of complications from COVID-19, his Plano-based ministry announced. He was 75.

Baxter, a televangelist and founder of Endtime Ministries, was hospitalized two weeks ago after testing positive for the virus, according to a statement from the ministry.

A United Pentecostal Church minister, evangelist, radio and television host, author and biblical scholar, Baxter hosted the internationally syndicated biblical prophecy program, End of the Age, through Endtime Ministries, the Pentecostal Christian organization he founded.

They’re using the word ‘scholar’ quite generously.

It’s a sad story.  And a timely reminder that it’s best not to pretend to speak for God when you aren’t.

Well Here’s Someone Else on Twitter Who Should Never Be Allowed Within 500 Miles of the Bible

Why are there so many of these sorts in America?

Wrong, Again, Mr Naked

His is a totally parochial view of the church, as though a fragment of it, in America alone, represents the whole.

Heck, not even all, or most, Christians in America are Molechgelicals.

There are some.  And frankly, 6 is too many.  But the notion that this represents the Church in America is simply false.

There’s Nothing Christian About this Disposition

Jesse is doubling down on his absurd statement about women voting like their husbands.

To say ‘let’, is to view your wife as your slave and not an independent free in Christ human being.  What an utterly appalling, absolutely unchristian perspective.  I feel profoundly sorry for his spouse, and his children. Especially if they are girls. He will watch them be destroyed by a boy in his own image.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: Christians Using Spells to Protect Against Witches

They can call them ‘declarations‘ if they want to, but they are ‘spells’.  The worst of it is, the irony of their using spells against witches escapes them…

Declarations Against Witchcraft

—I bind and rebuke every witchcraft curse sent to inflict pain, sickness and death on me, in Jesus’ name.

—I speak and declare that I am covered with the blood of Jesus. I dispatch angels to guard and protect me, and I decree that no weapon formed against me will prosper.

—I rescind every demonic assignment sent to thwart my destiny. I speak and decree that demonic infiltrations of my soul and astral projection will not monitor my activities. No curses will be sent forth on my behalf, and everything spoken out into the spiritual atmosphere from demonic sources will be burned up by the fire of God. Fire of God, apprehend my enemies.

—I annihilate every spiritual force that has been sent forth in operation to cause and create physical destruction, delay and distraction, in Jesus’ name.

—My life will go forth unhindered. Every witchcraft curse and evil operation, I eradicate you from my life, in Jesus’ name.

And who is the ‘theologian’ who came up with this rubbish?

Kathy DeGraw is a prophetic deliverance minister. She is the founder of Kathy DeGraw Ministries and K Advancement LLC. Kathy hosts a podcast show called Prophetic Spiritual Warfare. She is the author of several books; Speak Out, Discerning and Destroying the Works of Satan, and Unshackled. She is empowering people and setting the captives free through her many e-courses at charismacourses.com. 

Oh, so she’s the one ’empowering’ people?  Well good luck with that.   These folk need to step away from the Bible and never talk about it.  They don’t understand it.

 

This is Why You Should Never Get Your Theology From Pentebabbleist Preachers Like Brian Houston

Hillsong Church founder Brian Houston has urged his fellow pastors to stand up against Australia’s COVID-19 restrictions, claiming Christians are being discriminated against as numbers at church services remain limited.

In a series of social media posts, the Sydney, Australia-based pastor criticized the New South Wales government over restrictions on church service attendance while other coronavirus restrictions are being loosened.

“It’s time church leaders unite to take a stand. We are all committed to keeping people safe, but it seems churches are not even being considered for a steady easing of restrictions,” Houston wrote on Instagram.

He doesn’t care about people.  He just wants the appearance of popularity.  Like all publicity questers.  Stop getting your theology from people who aren’t theologians.  Just stop it.  STOP IT.

Your Face is not the Glory of God

So put the Bible down and step away from it.  Your use of it to be an anti-masker is illegitimate.

“Our face is the glory of the lord, we are made in his image,” she said. “We cannot just be relegated to a medical exemption and not be talking about our religious exemption.”

Nope.

John MacArthur is Trash at Theology. Utter Trash

You’ll hardly ever see anything as utterly false as the ‘teaching’ of MacArthur.  Why he has followers is a complete mystery.  Why are people so dumb?

Reminder: Joel Osteen is a Snake Oil Salesman

David Bentley Hart is What You Get When the Desire for Fame Eclipses Common Sense and Honesty

DBH’s declaration is simply dishonest.  Both in terms of his assessment of Calvin and in his assessment of Aquinas.  But that’s what happens when the desire to be famous eclipses one’s sense of honesty and common sense.  And it’s yet more evidence that it is only heterodoxy and heresy that make people famous, not Christianity.