Category Archives: pseudo-theology

Paula White: Pentebabbleist Heretic

She’s at it again, spewing her pentebabbleist rubbish:

@RightWingWatch tweets

Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White says Christians “are mandated by God” to send thousands of dollars to help Jim Bakker build a new TV studio and their donations will be counted by “a Department of Treasury in Heaven” that will determine their eternal reward.

Calling all suckers.  Calling all suckers.

A Note to My Readers

If some of you (I know most aren’t, because most are too intelligent or they wouldn’t visit here) buy Paula White, archheretic, false teacher, pentebabbleist, prosperity gospel con artist’s new book (or any book by her) that’s being promoted by Franklin Graham, Robert Jeffress and others, let it be known that you have swallowed falsehood and lies and furthermore are enabling and supporting the vilest sort of pseudo-Christian garbage.

Heretics promote heresy, which is why Jeffress et al are promoting White.  Don’t join them.

Please Take Note: Eisegesis and Decontextualizing Go Hand in Hand

yup

That One Time An Ignorant ‘Preacher’ Said that The King James is the Bible and You Don’t Need Hebrew or Greek

Hate yourself?  If you answered yes, then watch this clip.  Your head will implode.  This is the kind of ignorance that Fundamentalists are famous for.  This sort of ignorance really is beyond help.  And the sad thing is, there are professional theologians who also think that knowing the biblical languages is unimportant.  And Seminaries that don’t require them.  And graduate programs in biblical studies that don’t require them.  Consequently, they are absolutely no different than the ignorant preacher in this clip.

NT Wright and #ExileGate

False prophet!!!!

Watch the video of the false prophet falsely predict the Exile’s 4900 year duration.

Pentebabbleist the Fireman Pseudo-prophet At it Again With his Nutbag Ramblings

As time goes on, Mark Taylor‘s prophecies are getting increasingly incoherent. It’s almost as if he needs to convolute his prophecies more and more so it’s more difficult to point out the fact that they never come true. Either way, we have a new warning from Taylor, and it involves human traffickers, the Red Cross, and the Old Testament god Baal.

According to Taylor, Baal “feeds off the blood of the innocent,” namely aborted fetuses. But thanks to increased restrictions to abortions access in the US, that food source is “running dry.” That’s where the Red Cross comes in.

“We all know the Red Cross is corrupt. They’re into all of this,” he said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch, adding that “they are literally grabbing people … in broad daylight.”

“We are entering into one of the most dangerous phases of this fight,” he continued. “I tell people, ‘I don’t care if you are a Christian or not, if you don’t have a concealed weapons permit, you need to get one. You need to learn how to use a weapon and you need to be carrying it right now because this is a very dangerous time that we are going to be entering into.’”

Watch out for a mass blood drive orchestrated by America’s blood banks, Taylor says, “because their sources are running out, so they can use that human blood for sacrifices, they can use it for drinking it, or whatever it is they do.”

Imbecile. The dilettante loon knows nothing of Baalism.  Or anything.  Firefighters should fight fires, not talk about theology.  They’re awful at it.  So, Mark, here’s your Dilly, pentebabbleist nutbag.

Many Recent Books About Jesus In One Sentence

hmd2011_open_blank_book

Wrong- For Many Reasons

If you get your theology from tee-shirts… well you’re a heretic.

Here’s Your Dilly, Joe

Joe is what happens when ignorant dilettantism meets biblical proclamation.  So, in recognition of your utter unsuitedness to any sort of pastoral task, here’s your Dilly, Joe!

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

These people are mentally ill.

During an appearance on The MC Files this Monday, “Firefighter Prophet” Mark Taylor and host Chris McDonald posited a new theory regarding Hurricane Dorian, which is currently threatening the U.S. with 110 mph maximum sustained winds.

According to McDonald, it’s no coincidence that the hurricane is making news headlines immediately after the Justice Department announced that it would not charge former FBI Director James Comey for allegedly leaking his Trump memos to the press.

“When you get these stories and all of a sudden—boom—you’ve got an almost Category 6 storm,” McDonald said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “It does not take a genius to figure out it’s called a distraction and it’s called a false flag.”

Taylor agreed.

“These guys are going to be indicted, they are going to go to jail, they are going to go to prison so it’s coming, guys, we just have to be patient,” Taylor said. “But it’s not by coincidence that the hordes of chaos have been released because they know their time is short.”

“This is one of the most dangerous times right now for us, because this is war,” he continued. “That hurricane right there, that is a declaration of war against the people. What do the shootings and these hurricanes and all of these things that are being generated, what does it have to do [with anything]? It has to do with one thing in particular: the same thing Hitler did in London, England, during The Blitz. They are literally trying to kill the will of man.”

Wrong. Have You Never Heard of, For Instance, Theodore of Mopsuestia? Or Jerome?

This is what happens when you have a blind hermeneutical commitment and are unwilling to recognize your own error.

What it Looks Like When False Teachers Talk About Theology

Instead of being accurate, they prefer to be crass and imbecilic.  If you’re unsure of why the ELCA is dying, look no further.  Bolz-Weber and her ilk are killing it off as fast as they can.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: The ‘Prophetess’ Who Controls the Weather

Ket Kerr has a poor track record when it comes to getting natural disasters to heed her commands, but that’s not stopping her from calling upon God to “pull down Satan’s power,” i.e., Hurricane Dorian — which is threatening President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

Kerr claims to have a direct line to God. She describes her website The Revelation Zone as a source for “continual revelation on Heaven, the spirit realm” and “how to operate” in the spirit realm. On her Facebook page, which has just over 40,000 followers, she describes herself as a “revelator,” which just another word for “prophet.”

In a Facebook video posted to her page this Wednesday, Kerr declared to her “weather warrior” followers that she and they are now “taking authority over the weather,” which something “we all know Jesus can do.”

“And in case you’re wondering why we even have violent types of weather? Satan,” she said. “He has the ability to jump into these storms or earthquakes because we don’t take our true power over him. But that’s changing.”

According to Kerr, Dorian turning from a tropical storm to a hurricane means nothing because “I have authority over it. I will not tolerate it.”

“I command the hosts of heaven to go in there, right now, and pull down all of Satan’s power which is using this storm, Dorian, to bring destruction.”

Oh pentebabbleists… you are amusing, I give you that.  You’re frauds, liars, fake Christians, and theological ignoramuses, but you are amusing.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Educated Women Make Terrible Wives and Mothers’

Pentebabbleists gonna babble I reckon.

GOP Rep. Sean Duffy announced he’s resigning from Congress because his wife, Fox News commentator Rachel Campos-Duffy is pregnant with their ninth child — a child who will likely have to undergo heart surgery soon after birth. According to hyper misogynist and far-right Christian radio host Jesse Lee Peterson, that’s a bad move.  “Why does she have to work?” Peterson asked in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “Why doesn’t she stay home, be a wife, a mother, and help raise the children? And now this guy has to step down because this baby apparently has some issues … He shouldn’t quit his job for that. I guarantee you she is making him do it.”

Peterson went on to slam Campos-Duffy as “a selfish, egotistical woman,” adding that her husband is “too beta male to make her do the right thing.”  “This woman is a selfish woman,” Peterson continued. “She has nine kids and she’s trying to be like a man … Women, God has given you the gift of being the assistant of the man, to watch over his children, to make sure things are well at home, to be there when the kids come home, to cook, clean, provide in that way. There is no greater job for a woman than that. And I don’t know why these men would marry these women if they don’t have that mindset. It’s like being married to another man. It’s selfishness, it’s not love.”

Peterson then advised Rep. Duffy that he needs to be out “providing” while his wife stays at home.  “I wouldn’t recommend you marry these educated women with these degrees; they don’t make for good wives and mothers.”

Apparently enough people listen to this ignoramus that he can maintain his absurd radio show.  The problem is never really the ignorant mouthpiece.  The problem is their imbecilic enablers and supporters.

Nope

If you want to ‘instagram-worthy’ the Bible to make it appealing to a subgroup, you’re not doing theology, you’re doing marketing.  And the Bible doesn’t need you to market it.  You don’t transform it.  It transforms you.  Even if you’re a millennial.

So, nope.

End Times Fanatics and their Connection to Trumpism

This is a genuinely fascinating report.

By the numbers, there is no bigger advocate of President Donald Trump on Facebook than The Epoch Times.

The small New York-based nonprofit news outlet has spent more than $1.5 million on about 11,000 pro-Trump advertisements in the last six months, according to data from Facebook’s advertising archive — more than any organization outside of the Trump campaign itself, and more than most Democratic presidential candidates have spent on their own campaigns.

Those video ads — in which unidentified spokespeople thumb through a newspaper to praise Trump, peddle conspiracy theories about the “Deep State,” and criticize “fake news” media — strike a familiar tone in the online conservative news ecosystem. The Epoch Times looks like many of the conservative outlets that have gained followings in recent years.

But it isn’t.

Behind the scenes, the media outlet’s ownership and operation is closely tied to Falun Gong, a Chinese spiritual community with the stated goal of taking down China’s government.

It’s that motivation that helped drive the organization toward Trump, according to interviews with former Epoch Times staffers, a move that has been both lucrative and beneficial for its message.

Former practitioners of Falun Gong told NBC News that believers think the world is headed toward a judgment day, where those labeled “communists” will be sent to a kind of hell, and those sympathetic to the spiritual community will be spared. Trump is viewed as a key ally in the anti-communist fight, former Epoch Times employees said.

Read the whole.  Fascinating.

Mark Driscoll Thinks People Care What He Thinks

But he’s wrong because 1) he’s a theological fraud and 2) he’s a grammatical ignoramus:

Paula White: Pentebabbleist, Heretic, And False Teacher… But I Repeat Myself

What garbage theology these pentebabblesit loons adopt. Wretched Montanists.

Twitter ‘Theology’ That Makes Me Sigh

Nope.  Reverence belongs to God alone.  And your husband isn’t God.  Or even a god.  And besides, there’s not a speck of Scripture where wives are commanded to reverence their husbands.  So, shame on you for misrepresenting the Bible.

‘Have God’s Ear in Prayer???’…

That’s not how prayer works.  God hears the prayers he wants to hear, not prayers uttered because someone is using a book, any book.  Lifeway, stop selling junk theology.  Get some theologians on staff and stop thinking the latest marketing craze is good enough.  Stetzer is gone.  Stop acting like he would act.