Category Archives: pseudo-theology

This is BLASPHEMOUS

Franklin Graham Has Never Called on Trump to Repent…

And yet he wishes Christians to pray that Trump continue to live in open rebellion against God.  The list of those who agree with Graham is a who’s who of enablers of evil.

We the undersigned are calling for June 2 to be a special Day of Prayer for the President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, that God would protect, strengthen, embolden, and direct him.

Etc.  But nary a word asking for Christians to pray Trump repent and turn from his racist ways.    If Trump (or Franklin, or any of the court evangelicals) really cared about being directed by God, they would repent in sackcloth and ashes.

The Mega-Church Ponzi Scheme

The pastor of a megachurch in West Palm Beach, Fla., is refusing to hand over $1.7 million despite claims by federal prosecutors that the funds belong to people caught up in a $30 million Ponzi scheme run by a former church director.

According to the Palm Beach Post, U.S. District Judge Robin Rosenberg ordered $1 million in assets belonging to Winners Church, a suburban congregation in West Palm Beach, and to church pastors Fred Shipman and Whitney Shipman frozen.

Those assets will remain frozen until Rosenberg issues a ruling on their disposition.

The dispute is part of the fallout from an alleged Ponzi scheme run by Canadian financial commentator Harold Seigel and Florida resident Jose Aman. The duo allegedly convinced hundreds of people to invest millions in Argyle Coin, LLC, which claimed to be a cryptocurrency business related to diamonds.

According to a dozen lawsuits recently filed in Florida and elsewhere, the men were actually running an elaborate scam. The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission announced on Tuesday (May 21) it was shutting down the operation, describing it as a Ponzi scheme.

Some of their money turned up at Winners Church, which boasts a congregation of more than 2,000and had listed Aman as a “director” on state records.

According to a new lawsuit, Aman gave $1 million to the church from 2014 to 2018 and gave church founder Bishop Fred Shipman $700,000. He also allegedly gave Fred Shipman’s son, Winners Church senior pastor Whitney Shipman, around $40,000 during that same time period.

Accordingly, don’t give your money to mega-churches.   So endeth the lesson.

The Bee Stings the ‘Multi-Campus’ Church Nonsense

A couple at Riverview Church North has complained about the unresponsiveness of their multi-site church’s video screen for their need for pastoral counseling, according to sources. Derrick and Judy Markham had been having some communication issues at home, and decided to seek help from their multi-site church, affectionately known as “R-North.” Going to the screen from which they get their weekly Sunday messages, the couple began pouring out their marital issues to the inanimate object, including Judy’s spending and Derrick’s untidiness. However, after a good half-hour with no response from the video screen, the couple’s discussion stalled, and they left discouraged.

“It was like talking to a wall,” explained a visibly frustrated Mrs. Markham. “Seriously, he’s so bright and electric on Sunday mornings; I thought he’d be the same one-on-one. I guess I was wrong.”

“I couldn’t get a read on what he thought about Judy’s mother,” noted Mr. Markham. “Just a total blank canvas, know what I mean?” The Markhams considered leaving R-North, but they love the satellite sermons and brand identity enough that they are willing to stay.

“We did think about trying one of the other 13 multi-site churches in this area. We want a church with a lead pastor whose charisma can’t be contained in a single building,” admitted Mr. Markham. “We even considered going to a church that wasn’t multi-site—but as I believe the Bible says, ‘forsake not the assembly of the screens.’”

Despite the disappointment, the Markhams aren’t giving up on their multi-site church’s head figure. The couple says they’ve asked the video screen to visit Mr. Markham’s bedridden great aunt later this week.

It is such an absurdity to speak of ‘multi- campus’ churches or ‘satellite’ congregations.  And it’s all done simply to puff up the pastor’s ego and the disinterest of the ‘members’ to do anything more than watch a big screen tv.  It isn’t Christianity.  It isn’t Church.  It is nonsense.

God hasten the day when these self-aggrandizing collectives die the death they so richly deserve.

It’s a Who’s Who of Fake Christians

Read all about them.

Jim Bakker: Pentebabbleist Blasphemer

“The Jim Bakker Show” recently promoted a coin decorated with President Trump‘s face as a “point of contact” with God.

In a viral clip of the promotion, evangelical author Lance Wallnau described the $45 coin as a means for believers to establish a “point of contact” with God.

“When I asked the Lord ‘Why the coin?’ he said ‘Because when you take the coin, it’s a point of contact,’” Wallnau said in the clip, which was shared on Twitter by Right Wing Watch, which “monitors and exposes the activities of Radical Right political organizations.”

“So your faith is being released with a million other believers to pray protection and peace and wisdom and counsel over the president of the United States and over his family,” he added.

What vile blasphemy and idiotic pseudo-christianity.  Pentebabbleists… they really are profoundly theologically ignorant.

The Museum of the Bible has Jumped the Shark

How absurd.  Next, they’ll put bags of garbage on display and call them Second Temple artifacts.

When Your ‘Church’ Isn’t Even Pretending Anymore to be Anything But A Theater

Pandering 101

This is how you pander to a special interest group:

Helicopter Egg Drops…

Join us for our first annual “Eggstravanganza Easter Egg Hunt”, April 20 from 10am-1pm. for ages 2 years – 5th grade. A helicopter will drop thousands of eggs over the GCA Football field. Each age group will have their own designated time for their egg hunt. We will have a Family Fun Zone with inflatables, face painters, balloon artists and food trucks. Don’t miss this FREE event!

Ah yes- churches dropping eggs from helicopters and having pony rides and bounce houses and cotton candy on Holy Saturday. The early church did all this too because they thought Jesus’s stay in hell was just super awesome.

Megachurch Pseudo-Christianity: The Ed Young Edition

Christless ‘Christianity’ is an entertainment industry.

Garbage Theology

This isn’t Christianity, it’s gnosticism.

Fad Theology

This is what happens when exegetes stop caring about the interpretation of scripture and find themselves looking for something to do to occupy their time: faddism and ‘WhatIfIsm’.

Judas and Pilate: A Reminder

Neither Judas Iscariot nor Pontius Pilate left behind any written material.   Any words put into their mouths on tv are both purely speculative and highly suspect.

Aww, When Your Attempt to Be ‘Accurate’ Is Just Plain Wrong

Except the first to announce the risen Lord were – from Mark, ‘a young man’ (and in fact the women ran from the tomb and said nothing!) and from the other gospels it was ‘angels’.   It wasn’t the women who said ‘he is not here, he is risen’, in any of the gospels.

Maybe actually read the bible before you tell people to do something in the interests of biblical accuracy.

If You Are Depending on a Heretic like Joyce Meyer to Guide You Through the Bible…

You’re insane.

The History Channel’s ‘Jesus: His Life’… Guess The Executive Producer…

JesusfacepalmThat’s right friends, Joel Osteen is the executive producer of the History Channel’s ‘Jesus: his Life’.   Just fyi.

Upon hearing this news- Jesus reacted thusly- ======>

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

Via the twitter.  I like how it has a shroud of Turin-esque quality…

Nadia Bolz-Weber Takes the Ick Factor to 10

This stuff…  it’s both ridiculous and debasing.  It’s just plain ick.  There is nothing remotely theological about the whole sordid affair.  It’s just another attempt to make a name for herself, though in Christian circles her name is already ‘disgusting’.

Like Dorothee Sölle, this woman should keep silent in the Church.  She revels in impurity.

Except Luther Never Said It…

But if you can cite a source in Luther (and not just about Luther) I’d love to see it.