Emergent ‘Theology’ in Three Frames

Everything you need to know about the ‘theology’ of the emergent movement you will find in these three frames:

Well This is a First… Church Cancels Services… For a Marathon

Well we’ve seen churches cancel worship services for Christmas and football and movies and awards shows and- well- lots of stuff.  But this time a church in Texas (had to be, right?) has decided that a marathon is more important than the worship of God.  Their reasons for doing so are HILARIOUS and theologically moronic.  They’re, in substance, ‘there for the city’ but not, it seems, there for a positive testimony about God and his importance in their lives.

Most telling, however, is the absolute absence of any Scriptural justification for the church to behave as it is.  Not a citation, even of a decontextualized passage.  Sure, another emergent pastor is cited, but Scripture is ignored.  How could it be otherwise?  It’s another church lacking theological leadership that appears to enjoy being ‘cool’.

That Good Old Medieval Absolution…

Is very much alive and well.   Ok not really well.  More like nuts.

With the aim of ensuring that the public display of the Shroud of Turin promotes conversion and healing, the archbishop of Turin has given priests throughout the archdiocese special faculties to offer absolution to women who confess to having had an abortion.

The display of the shroud from April 19 – June 24 should be “a time of grace that translates into attitudes of conversion, the fruit of repentance and newness of life,” Archbishop Cesare Nosiglia wrote in a decree signed February 18, Ash Wednesday.

According to the Code of Canon Law, “A person who procures a completed abortion” automatically incurs excommunication. Only the bishop or a priest he designates can lift the excommunication. In some dioceses the local bishop formally has granted the faculty to all priests, while in Turin and other places, the bishop grants the faculty on special occasions.

That could have been written in 1510. With thanks to Antonio ‘The Male Candida Moss’ Lombatti for the tip.

Another Mary Sighting…

I haven’t done one of these in awhile but with Easter a month or a little more away, it’s time for them to start cropping up…

It happens to all of us. When you fall asleep, you sometimes wake up to find imprint lines on your face or on your arms.  When one West Texas boy woke up at the hospital, he says those imprints on his arm formed an image of the Virgin Mary. Maybe you’ve had an apparition before, like the person who saw Jesus in their tortilla or the Virgin Mary in their mango slice. One West Texas boy says he saw the imprint of the Virgin Mary on his arm when he woke up in the hospital.

“A private revelation is when something happens to an individual. Those who are told about it may or may not choose to believe it,” Monsignor James Bridges of St. Stephen’s Catholic Church in Midland, said. Although these imprints last a short while, Bridges said the impact of these experiences could last a lifetime. “These experiences that people have could be a great gift to them. It could call them to turn from bad and promote good in their life,” Bridges said.  The young boy’s family did not wish to speak on camera, but a friend acknowledges the faith instilled in the family after seeing this image and they’re willing to share it with others.

Here ya go-

Nope.

If You Can’t Read This, You Aren’t a Theologian. Or a Biblical Scholar.

Even if you’ve written a couple of books on ‘biblical womanhood’ and ‘doubt’.

Σκιὰν γὰρ ἔχων ὁ νόμος τῶν μελλόντων ἀγαθῶν, οὐκ αὐτὴν τὴν εἰκόνα τῶν πραγμάτων, κατ᾽ ἐνιαυτὸν ταῖς αὐταῖς θυσίαις αἷς προσφέρουσιν εἰς τὸ διηνεκὲς οὐδέποτε δύναται τοὺς προσερχομένους τελειῶσαι· ἐπεὶ οὐκ ἂν ἐπαύσαντο προσφερόμεναι, διὰ τὸ μηδεμίαν ἔχειν ἔτι συνείδησιν ἁμαρτιῶν τοὺς λατρεύοντας ἅπαξ κεκαθαρισμένους; ἀλλ᾽ ἐν αὐταῖς ἀνάμνησις ἁμαρτιῶν κατ᾽ ἐνιαυτόν, ἀδύνατον γὰρ αἷμα ταύρων καὶ τράγων ἀφαιρεῖν ἁμαρτίας. διὸ εἰσερχόμενος εἰς τὸν κόσμον λέγει, θυσίαν καὶ προσφορὰν οὐκ ἠθέλησας, σῶμα δὲ κατηρτίσω μοι ὁλοκαυτώματα καὶ περὶ ἁμαρτίας οὐκ ηὐδόκησας· τότε εἶπον, ἰδοὺ ἥκω, ἐν κεφαλίδι βιβλίου γέγραπται περὶ ἐμοῦ, τοῦ ποιῆσαι, ὁ θεός, τὸ θέλημά σου.

There ya go. And of course there’s this:

וַ֭יַּעַן בִּלְדַּ֥ד הַשּׁוּחִ֗י וַיֹאמַֽר׃ עַד־אָ֥ן תְּמַלֶּל־אֵ֑לֶּה וְר֥וּחַ כַּ֜בִּיר אִמְרֵי־פִֽיךָ׃ הַ֭אֵל יְעַוֵּ֣ת מִשְׁפָּ֑ט וְאִם־שַׁ֜דַּ֗י יְעַוֵּֽת־צֶֽדֶק׃ אִם־בָּנֶ֥יךָ חָֽטְאוּ־ל֑וֹ וַֽ֜יְשַׁלְּחֵ֗ם בְּיַד־פִּשְׁעָֽם׃ אִם־אַ֭תָּה תְּשַׁחֵ֣ר אֶל־אֵ֑ל וְאֶל־שַׁ֜דַּ֗י תִּתְחַנָּֽן׃

Looking forward to your rendering, Rachel.

Tony Jones, ‘Emergent’ ‘Christianity’, and the Theological Bankruptcy of Emergents

What we see here (in both Jones and Brian McClaren) is a failure to value the other as much as self.  This egocentricism is par for the course of Emergents.

Read the full essay.  And then ask yourself- what kind of bankrupt theology underlies the high profiled in the Emergent movement and why are their followers so utterly theologically vapid that they can’t see it.

NEIN!

This is, literally, infuriating.

 

I despise this kind of ignorance.  ‘Scary Christian movie winning people to Christ’?  Nonsense.  There’e not only no theological or exegetical justification for the film or the rubbish books upon which it is based: there’s also no theological or exegetical justification for attempting to frighten people into the kingdom.

Jesus said ‘If I be lifted up I will draw all people to myself’.  He never said a word about scaring people into belief by means of Hell Houses or scary ignorant films or anything else.

Away with your false theology- bloody pagans.