Category Archives: pseudo-theology

Dilettante of The Year

That’s lunacy. It’s both historically ignorant and, worse, it implies that no one but English speakers have a real Bible. Utter nonsense and, frankly, demonic.

This is this year’s dilettante.

More Pentebabbleist Lunacy: The ‘Christian’ Who Says Coronavirus Won’t Hurt Us Because Trump ‘Opposes’ Abortion

During services at his Lord of Hosts church in Omaha, Nebraska, on Sunday, right-wing pastor Hank Kunneman proclaimed that God would protect the United States from the coronavirus because of President Donald Trump and his administration.

“Listen to the words that I speak to you at this moment, says the Living God,” Kunneman prophesied. “Why do you fear, United States? For I have spoke to you before, and I speak to you again. I have extended and opened a window of mercy to this nation at this time. Therefore the virus that they speak of, the prognostication, the diagnosis—my mercy is the quarantine that shall be greater than what they have spoken to you, United States.”

“Because of the administration that stands in this land, who honors me, who honors the covenants of your forefathers and of the Constitution, and because they have aligned themselves with Israel, and because they have sided on the right side of life—life in the womb, life given outside of the womb—therefore I give life to this nation, and I give mercy,” Kunneman said, on behalf of God. “Do not fear this virus, says the Spirit of God.”

Fraud.  Fake.  Fraud.

Except Luther Never Said It…

But if you can cite a source in Luther (and not just about Luther) I’d love to see it.

Mega Church Pastors are Greed Driven Crooks. It’s Just That Simple

Redemption Church Pastor Ron Carpenter Jr. said he was promised a retirement package of $6.25 million to be made in annual payouts of $250,000 for 25 years in a failed transition agreement with fellow megachurch pastor John Gray of Relentless Church, court documents filed in South Carolina on Friday reveal.

The documents were filed in an ongoing eviction case between Carpenter and Gray over payments for the Relentless Church campus, owned by Carpenter.

Gray was given until the end of 2019 to take his church elsewhere amid allegations that he had been “shady” and “dishonest” in executing the controversial transition agreement with the Carpenters after they passed the reins of their Redemption Church campus to him in 2018. Gray had rebranded it as Relentless Church.

Crooks.  And frauds.  True wolves, in sheep’s clothing.  The both of them.

Carpenter and his wife Hope then moved to San Jose, California, to officially become the new pastors of the 14,000-member Jubilee Christian Center, which they renamed Redemption.

According to a copy of the transition agreement cited by Greenville News, Gray was to take the role of senior pastor and then change the name of the church allowing Carpenter to take the “Redemption” name with him.

The agreement said the church’s board agreed to pay Carpenter an annual payment of $250,000 for 25 years as part of a $6.25 million retirement package. It also noted that Redemption Church also had a mortgage obligation of more than $12 million.

Redemption Church argued that Relentless Church failed to make mortgage payments to lenders, failed to pay Redemption when a lease agreement was made and failed to vacate the property as a tenant in default.

They aren’t churches, they are fraud franchises.

That’s Sickening

Then Why Didn’t He Do It At Auschwitz?

Frankly I don’t think stuff like this really happens.  And if it did, then why doesn’t it always?  Why didn’t it happen at Auschwitz?

A miraculous story of life-saving intervention is breaking from Northern Nigeria. According to Barnabas Aid, a group of 500 Nigerian Christians who converted from Islam gathered. The terrorist group Boko Harem descended and captured 76 members of the group as converts from Islam were highly targeted in their attacks. The group included men, women and children.

Four of the male leaders of the Christian group were killed after refusing to deny their faith in Christ. The widows of the men were approached with the same question. Before making their decision the children came and announced Jesus had appeared to them, assuring they would be OK according to Breaking News Christian.

Not long after the group accounts Jesus appeared again to the entire group of 72 telling them not to fear as He would protect them. He urged them to remain confident in His strength and not to renounce their faith.

The widows now with fresh confidence told Boko Harem they would not renounce Christ. As they prepared to shoot the children the Boko Harem suddenly broke into screams exclaiming “snakes!” as they fleed the scene. Some of the men appeared to die instantly.

According to Barnabas Fund, all 72 of the group survived the experience. They now live in other regions of Nigeria deemed safe for Christians to live. The local Pastor credits Jesus’ appearance to the group to the fact that these people knew no other Biblical text to visit. They are all illiterate and thus no access to scripture so Jesus provided it Himself.

I’m glad they’re ok but if Jesus did it, he should do it a lot more.  And if it didn’t happen as described, then it’s fraud.  And fraud doesn’t advance the Gospel.

Church Marketing’s Goal: Just Get Them in the Doors…

Forget all that tiresome and outdated biblical stuff like ‘go into all the world and make disciples’.  That’s too hard and people just aren’t interested in that.  Instead of going deep, go as shallow as you can and get those butts in seats, because that’s what it’s all about…

Thom can teach you the latest marketing manipulations to get you a gusher of guests… (what a word to choose)…  Although the Bible never tells us to make ‘guests’, but disciples.

There Is Something Vaguely Anti-Semitic in Importing The New Testament Into The Old

As though the Old Testament has no meaning (or cannot be understood properly) without the New Testament when the truth is, the New Testament cannot be properly understood without the Old Testament.

Nope.  You aren’t the first to notice something because you’re a brilliant exegete; you’re first to notice something that no one else ever has because you’re insane.

Again, the New Testament needs the Old to be understood; but the Old doesn’t need the New.  So just let the Old Testament be the Word of God in its own right, ok?  Bloody Marcionites.

Paula White: Pentebabbleist Heretic

She’s at it again, spewing her pentebabbleist rubbish:

@RightWingWatch tweets

Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White says Christians “are mandated by God” to send thousands of dollars to help Jim Bakker build a new TV studio and their donations will be counted by “a Department of Treasury in Heaven” that will determine their eternal reward.

Calling all suckers.  Calling all suckers.

A Note to My Readers

If some of you (I know most aren’t, because most are too intelligent or they wouldn’t visit here) buy Paula White, archheretic, false teacher, pentebabbleist, prosperity gospel con artist’s new book (or any book by her) that’s being promoted by Franklin Graham, Robert Jeffress and others, let it be known that you have swallowed falsehood and lies and furthermore are enabling and supporting the vilest sort of pseudo-Christian garbage.

Heretics promote heresy, which is why Jeffress et al are promoting White.  Don’t join them.

Please Take Note: Eisegesis and Decontextualizing Go Hand in Hand

yup

That One Time An Ignorant ‘Preacher’ Said that The King James is the Bible and You Don’t Need Hebrew or Greek

Hate yourself?  If you answered yes, then watch this clip.  Your head will implode.  This is the kind of ignorance that Fundamentalists are famous for.  This sort of ignorance really is beyond help.  And the sad thing is, there are professional theologians who also think that knowing the biblical languages is unimportant.  And Seminaries that don’t require them.  And graduate programs in biblical studies that don’t require them.  Consequently, they are absolutely no different than the ignorant preacher in this clip.

NT Wright and #ExileGate

False prophet!!!!

Watch the video of the false prophet falsely predict the Exile’s 4900 year duration.

Pentebabbleist the Fireman Pseudo-prophet At it Again With his Nutbag Ramblings

As time goes on, Mark Taylor‘s prophecies are getting increasingly incoherent. It’s almost as if he needs to convolute his prophecies more and more so it’s more difficult to point out the fact that they never come true. Either way, we have a new warning from Taylor, and it involves human traffickers, the Red Cross, and the Old Testament god Baal.

According to Taylor, Baal “feeds off the blood of the innocent,” namely aborted fetuses. But thanks to increased restrictions to abortions access in the US, that food source is “running dry.” That’s where the Red Cross comes in.

“We all know the Red Cross is corrupt. They’re into all of this,” he said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch, adding that “they are literally grabbing people … in broad daylight.”

“We are entering into one of the most dangerous phases of this fight,” he continued. “I tell people, ‘I don’t care if you are a Christian or not, if you don’t have a concealed weapons permit, you need to get one. You need to learn how to use a weapon and you need to be carrying it right now because this is a very dangerous time that we are going to be entering into.’”

Watch out for a mass blood drive orchestrated by America’s blood banks, Taylor says, “because their sources are running out, so they can use that human blood for sacrifices, they can use it for drinking it, or whatever it is they do.”

Imbecile. The dilettante loon knows nothing of Baalism.  Or anything.  Firefighters should fight fires, not talk about theology.  They’re awful at it.  So, Mark, here’s your Dilly, pentebabbleist nutbag.

Many Recent Books About Jesus In One Sentence

hmd2011_open_blank_book

Wrong- For Many Reasons

If you get your theology from tee-shirts… well you’re a heretic.

Here’s Your Dilly, Joe

Joe is what happens when ignorant dilettantism meets biblical proclamation.  So, in recognition of your utter unsuitedness to any sort of pastoral task, here’s your Dilly, Joe!

Wrong. Have You Never Heard of, For Instance, Theodore of Mopsuestia? Or Jerome?

This is what happens when you have a blind hermeneutical commitment and are unwilling to recognize your own error.

What it Looks Like When False Teachers Talk About Theology

Instead of being accurate, they prefer to be crass and imbecilic.  If you’re unsure of why the ELCA is dying, look no further.  Bolz-Weber and her ilk are killing it off as fast as they can.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Educated Women Make Terrible Wives and Mothers’

Pentebabbleists gonna babble I reckon.

GOP Rep. Sean Duffy announced he’s resigning from Congress because his wife, Fox News commentator Rachel Campos-Duffy is pregnant with their ninth child — a child who will likely have to undergo heart surgery soon after birth. According to hyper misogynist and far-right Christian radio host Jesse Lee Peterson, that’s a bad move.  “Why does she have to work?” Peterson asked in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “Why doesn’t she stay home, be a wife, a mother, and help raise the children? And now this guy has to step down because this baby apparently has some issues … He shouldn’t quit his job for that. I guarantee you she is making him do it.”

Peterson went on to slam Campos-Duffy as “a selfish, egotistical woman,” adding that her husband is “too beta male to make her do the right thing.”  “This woman is a selfish woman,” Peterson continued. “She has nine kids and she’s trying to be like a man … Women, God has given you the gift of being the assistant of the man, to watch over his children, to make sure things are well at home, to be there when the kids come home, to cook, clean, provide in that way. There is no greater job for a woman than that. And I don’t know why these men would marry these women if they don’t have that mindset. It’s like being married to another man. It’s selfishness, it’s not love.”

Peterson then advised Rep. Duffy that he needs to be out “providing” while his wife stays at home.  “I wouldn’t recommend you marry these educated women with these degrees; they don’t make for good wives and mothers.”

Apparently enough people listen to this ignoramus that he can maintain his absurd radio show.  The problem is never really the ignorant mouthpiece.  The problem is their imbecilic enablers and supporters.