Zwinglius Redivivus

Fighting the good fight and running the race.

Archive for the ‘pseudo-scholarship’ Category

Wikipedia’s Editors Are Imbeciles

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They can’t even tell Melanchthon and Beza apart…  dullards.  (Photo by a friend.  I don’t visit wikipedia because, well, it’s stupid).

Written by Jim

16 Aug 2018 at 6:09 pm

Tim Clinton: Christian ‘Counselor’ and Plagiarist

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This guy…. wow.  His plagiarism makes Mark Driscoll’s look like amateur hour.  Wow.

Written by Jim

10 Aug 2018 at 2:36 pm

Signs of the Times

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RHE has a new book out.  So I’ve fixed the cover so it’s more accurate.  You’re welcome.

Written by Jim

30 Jul 2018 at 1:39 pm

#ICYMI – The Bee Stings the Ridiculous Interpretations of Revelation

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In a groundbreaking discovery sure to change the future of eschatological studies, scholars revealed Monday that the autograph of the book of Revelation originally included a detailed end times and rapture chart to help readers make sense of the apocalyptic literature.

Archaeologists working on the island of Patmos recently uncovered the original autograph of the book and found the intricate chart detailing the church age, pre-tribulation rapture of the church, seven-year period of turmoil, and subsequent millennial reign of Christ. The chart also featured detailed descriptions of each of the twenty-one dispensations of history, scholars confirmed.

“This is an exciting discovery,” lead archaeologist Dr. Wendell Holmes told reporters. “End-times charts have become a popular past-time of the church over the past century, and now we know there is solid biblical warrant for their existence.”

Holmes further stated that the find confirmed that the futurist, premillennial framework for interpreting the book of Revelation is the correct one, much to the delight of modern end times prophecy experts like John Hagee, David Jeremiah, and Hal Lindsey.

At publishing time, scholars had also confirmed the discovery of the Apostle John’s rudimentary, parchment-based prophecy blog, on which he posted constant prophecy updates predicting the Lord Jesus would return by 1988.

It’s funny because there are people who really think like that.

Written by Jim

28 Jul 2018 at 7:31 am

This Is What Happens When People try to Out Ann Voskamp Ann Voskamp…

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They say ridiculous, nonsensical, baseless things about Jesus.

The ‘God of the OT is Wrathful and the God of the NT is Loving’ is a False Dichotomy and A Lie

The premise of the tweet below is simply false.  The God portrayed in the Old Testament shows love (hesed) to people constantly.  Read Hosea.  Read Exodus!   And the God portrayed in the New Testament can get as angry as he pleases.  Read the Gospels (with their many references to hell and judgment).  Read the book of Revelation!

This false dichotomy has been around too long and casual readers of the Bible need to stop acting as if it were legit, because every time they do, they put their ignorance on full display.

Written by Jim

13 Jul 2018 at 9:53 am

No, It Doesn’t

Stop it BAR.  Just stop it.

Do you know why the Ain Dara temple doesn’t shed any light on ‘Solomon’s Temple’?  Because there’s not an archaeological shred of Solomon’s Temple to be found.  Comparing something you have (Ain Dara) with something you don’t have (Solomon’s Temple) is idiotic.  It’s like comparing a car (which you have) to a submarine (which you don’t have).  You can’t compare the known and the unknown.  Analogy, in other words, is extraordinarily limited and usually misleading.

So stop it BAR.  Just stop it.

Written by Jim

16 Mar 2018 at 12:20 pm

Archaeology is More Untrustworthy By the Day

From the blatantly self serving archaeological claims made in support of political goals as evidenced by Mazar and the City of David excavations to the ‘discoveries’ of Mellaart who faked his own finds…. archaeology is becoming less and less credible.

A famed archaeologist well-known for discovering the sprawling 9,000-year-old settlement in Turkey called Çatalhöyük seems to have faked several of his ancient findings and may have run a “forger’s workshop” of sorts, one researcher says.

James Mellaart, who died in 2012, created some of the “ancient” murals at Çatalhöyük that he supposedly discovered; he also forged documents recording inscriptions that were found at Beyköy, a village in Turkey, said geoarchaeologist Eberhard Zangger, president of the Luwian Studies Foundation. Zangger examined Mellaart’s apartment in London between Feb. 24 and 27, finding “prototypes,” as Zangger calls them, of murals and inscriptions that Mellaart had claimed were real.

“He used the same approach for over 50 years,” Zangger told Live Science. “He would first acquire a tremendously broad and deep knowledge [about the area he was interested in]. Then, he would try to use this knowledge to develop a coherent historic panorama,” Zangger said. This process in itself is not uncommon for an archaeologist or historian. The only difference is that legitimate researchers then look for evidence that either supports or refutes their ideas. Instead, “Mellaart would fabricate drawings of artifacts and translations of alleged documents to reinforce his theories,” Zangger said.

Archaeology needs to clean up its house before it becomes the National Enquirer of science.

Written by Jim

12 Mar 2018 at 12:03 pm

This is ‘Not the Onion’… ‘Animal Universalism’

Evidently there are really people this utterly insane, writing books, for Oxford University Press….

“We think that there is good reason to believe that all animals shall be ushered into heaven and remain there for eternity. We therefore defend Animal Universalism:   Animal Universalism: All sentient animals will be brought into heaven and remain there for eternity.”  – Shawn Graves, Blake Hereth, and Tyler M. John, ‘In Defence of Animal Universalism’, Paradise Understood: New Philosophical Essays about Heaven, ed. T. Ryan Byerly and Eric J. Silverman (OUP, 2017), p. 161

‘Not.  The.  Onion.’  (Via Deane Galbraith on the FB).

Written by Jim

6 Mar 2018 at 5:26 am

Eric Metaxas: Narcissist

In other words, if you fluff me, I’ll retweet your fluffing!  It’s a win – win for narcissists like Metaxas who care more about retweets than they do scholarship, facts, or the quest for truth.  Metaxas wants to recruit you to serve him in his army of narcissism…

Written by Jim

4 Mar 2018 at 12:05 pm

In Which Eilat Mazar Tries to Spin the ‘Isaiah Seal’ Discovery

Read the interview with Mazar in the Jerusalem Post.  It’s an astonishing piece– chiefly because it shows so clearly that Mazar already knows what she’s going to find before she even finds it.  And that, kids, is not scholarship, it is an agenda.

Written by Jim

26 Feb 2018 at 6:52 pm

No, They Haven’t Discovered Isaiah’s Seal

A clay seal from the eighth century B.C. that was discovered in a Jerusalem excavation may bear the name of the biblical prophet Isaiah, according to a new article in Biblical Archaeology Review.

In the article, titled “Is This the Prophet Isaiah’s Signature?,” author and archaeologist Eilat Mazar suggests that the ancient Hebrew script impressed into the damaged half-inch oval of clay may have once read “Belonging to Isaiah the prophet.”

Nope.  No.  Nein.  This isn’t how scholarship works and Mazar isn’t acting like a scholar.  ‘May have’?  How insipidly silly.  Rank speculation.  Stupidity.

It’s time for scholars to say no to this kind of journalistic sensationalizing.

Written by Jim

22 Feb 2018 at 8:57 am

Are They Getting People Who Are Capable to Do It, Or Will it be the PE Teacher?

Because what’s the point of having an ignoramus or a dilettante teach a course?

A bill introduced at the Iowa Statehouse this week would establish a public school course centered on the Bible — sparking outcry from opponents who call it an “extreme piece of legislation.”

If passed, Iowa would join a small but growing number of states with “Bible literacy” laws that allow or require public schools to offer such courses.

Supporters say that studying the Bible for its historical and cultural influence is instrumental to understanding western civilization and the values on which America was built.

“Beyond its literary and cultural significance, which is significant, the Bible is also an essential thread of the American consciousness, and without it, American unity is unraveling,” said Drew Zahn, spokesman for the Christian conservative organization The Family Leader, which is endorsing the legislation.

Yeah, sounds like they’re going to have anyone free during the classtime to do it…  Great- more ignorance imparted.

Written by Jim

21 Jan 2018 at 4:12 am

Nope, Not Even Close, But Thanks for Trying…

Corrected, this reads ‘The Book of Revelation is a reminder to a persecuted community that no power on earth or in heaven is greater than the power of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Jesus.  It levels a warning against the world’s opposition to His power and comforts His disciples with the assurance that ultimate victory is His and thus theirs’.

So kindly stop trying to hijack Scripture to fit your political agenda.  It means more when you let it speak than when you try to force it into your blinkered perspective.

Written by Jim

5 Jan 2018 at 7:43 pm

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Most Ignorant Tweet You Will Ever Behold

That depth of ignorance is the sort we only see when asking a 2 month old about quantum physics.

Written by Jim

27 Dec 2017 at 5:25 pm

Stupid Historical Claims For The Christmas Season

Oh this is a real gem… with thanks to Roberta Mazza for pointing out the link-

A fragment of bone claimed to be from St Nicholas – the 4th-Century saintly inspiration for Father Christmas – has been radio carbon tested by the University of Oxford. The test has found that the relic does date from the time of St Nicholas, who is believed to have died about 343 AD.

While not providing proof that this is from the saint, it has been confirmed as authentically from that era.
The Oxford team says these are the first tests carried out on the bones. Relics of St Nicholas, who died in modern-day Turkey, have been kept in the crypt of a church in Bari in Italy since the 11th Century.

It’s proof of nothing. Absolutely noting.  You folk in the media need to stop pandering to the lowest common denominator of stupidity just for a putative connection to some Christmas theme.

Written by Jim

6 Dec 2017 at 7:51 am

Posted in pseudo-scholarship

This Is Why I Literally Hate it When the Media Discusses Some New ‘Find’ Related to the Bible…

The utter ineptitude and bloated idiotic exaggerated claims… are infuriating.

First, the moronic misleading headline-

Ancient copy of Jesus’s secret papyrus teachings to his brother discovered

‘Jesus secret papyrus teachings’ – nope. ‘To his brother’ – nope. ‘Discovered’ – nope. The apocryphal text has been known for ages. It isn’t a secret papyrus teachings (whatever the Sheol that’s supposed to be) of Jesus.

And then it gets dumb-

Biblical scholars have discovered the first-known copy of a heretical text, which is thought to hold the secret teachings of Jesus to his brother James. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found the manuscript at Oxford University.

Who exactly thinks it actually contains anything Jesus actually taught? Anyone? Anyone reputable?

The writings are on a small piece of papyrus and are thought to be part of the Apocalypse of James, a book of the Bible that was banned by Emperor Constantine and was not part of the New Testament released in 367AD by Athanasius, Bishop of Alexandria.

We’ve known about the Apocalypse of James for a long time. But it was never a ‘book of the Bible’ (you idiots) and the New Testament wasn’t ‘released in 367 AD’ (you feckless imbeciles).

And then it just gets boring-

The text was part of the The Nag Hammadi Library —a collection of 13 Coptic Gnostic books that were first discovered in Egypt more than 70 years ago in 1945. The codices were reportedly hidden in a jar in the Egyptian town of Nag Hammadi around 1,400 years ago and can be traced back to a time between the 2nd and 6th century CE.

Old news.

Unlike the rest of the documents, the fragments recently discovered were not written in Coptic but in Greek.

Meaningless.

“This new discovery is significant in part because it demonstrates that Christians were still reading and studying extra-canonical writings long after Christian leaders deemed them heretical,” Geoffrey Smith, an assistant professor of religious studies at the University of Texas at Austin and one of the two scholars who made the discovery, told Newsweek.

It demonstrates no such thing. What it shows is that someone had a copy of something that was so irrelevant that there aren’t any copies like it around. That shows that people were NOT reading it, not that they were. If it had been wildly popular there probably would have been numerous copies of it found through the centuries and not just one copy stuffed away in a library where it had long ago been discovered and deemed so meaningless that it was shoved away and forgotten. They didn’t find this in some desert. They found it at an impressive University library.  They didn’t ‘discover’ anything.  They rediscovered something that someone had seen long ago.

And then we’re back to stupid-

The ancient document reportedly describes secret teachings Jesus shared with his brother James, and includes information about the heavenly realm and future events, including James’ inevitable death. “The text supplements the biblical account of Jesus’ life and ministry by allowing us access to conversations that purportedly took place between Jesus and his brother, James — secret teachings that allowed James to be a good teacher after Jesus’ death,” Smith said.

No it doesn’t. It makes crap up and tells stories that would have been listened to by few and believed by even fewer. Making this sort of thing the cornerstone of some sort of reconstruction of the early Church is like archaeologists finding a scrap of a book by Paula White 500 years from now and reconstructing 21st century Christianity on the basis of it. It makes a suit out of a button.

And now we’re back to utter silliness-

For many, the suggestion that James was a blood relative of Jesus is a matter of debate. In 2002, archaeologists discovered a 2,000-year-old ossuary or “bone box” with Aramaic inscriptions that translated to: “James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus”.

Ugh. Not that garbage again.

If proved to be true, this would be the first-of-its-kind of evidence to indicate that Jesus has siblings. “The New Testament says nothing about Mary being a perpetual virgin, it says she virginally conceived Jesus, and it certainly implies that she went on to have more children after that, and his brothers and sisters are in fact his brothers and sisters,” Ben Witherington, a professor of New Testament Interpretation at Asbury Theological Seminary, had earlier told CNN in 2015.

Ugh… make it stop, God. Make. It. Stop.

Written by Jim

1 Dec 2017 at 8:52 pm

If you need, or use, this material, just leave the Ministry today…

‘The timeless principles of …’  [expurgated].

Get out of the ministry right now.

Written by Jim

22 Nov 2017 at 6:52 am

Oh Please, Just Stop It

Dr Michael Banner, Dean of Trinity College Chapel at the University of Cambridge, said the inclusive approach adopted by the CofE had a biblical approach.

Maybe they mean ‘basis’, because ‘approach’ makes no sense.  Anyway-

Delivering the Thought for the Day on the BBC’s Radio 4 Today programme, he said ‘the books of the Bible, from which the church takes its inspiration and teaching, themselves challenge the stereotypes and negative attitudes which have led us to exclude from fellowship those whom we judge outsiders’.

Citing a story from the biblical book of Acts where one of the disciples meets a foreign eunuch, Banner points out the disciples baptised him despite numerous barriers.

‘He is a foreigner, for starters. He is a treasurer, so a man who handles filthy lucre on a daily basis. And surely worst of all, he is a eunuch – and of eunuchs, the book of Deuteronomy decrees, “they may not enter the assembly of the Lord”. As to what he was wearing, the book of Acts is silent, but it could have been a tutu and a tiara since none of this bothers Philip – and Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him,’ he said.

I promise you, he wasn’t wearing either a tutu or a tiara.  Neither would have been the attire of a government official.  ‘It could have been’… No, it couldn’t.

And here’s the quite ignorant bit

‘His baptizing a foreign financier of uncertain gender status, holds out to us an inclusive vision of community – a vision to which schools, Christian schools above all, should surely aspire.’

‘Uncertain gender status’?  What absurdity.  Being a eunuch had NOTHING to do with gender status.  It had to do with keeping guys away from the harem so that any kids born would clearly be born from the monarch’s seed.  Period.  That’s it.  The eunuch wasn’t a transgender person.  He wasn’t a gay rights activist.  He wasn’t a representative of the ancient LGBTQIA mnop movement.  He was a guy with his bits cut off so he couldn’t have children with the womenfolk belonging to the king.

The lengths to which people, even supposedly learned people, will go to haul the Bible in to support their pet agendas is appalling.  And idiotic.  If you aren’t going to be honest with the Bible, leave. It. Alone.

Written by Jim

14 Nov 2017 at 12:30 pm

I Am Extremely Unimpressed

This volume… which seems so promising… is an absolute disappointment.  And that’s before even opening it and merely reading the table of contents.

How on earth can you have a volume on the Reformation which includes primary sources and completely ignores Zwingli? That’s like having a volume on math and leaving out a discussion of addition.  It is literally incomprehensible, inexcusable, and unforgivable.