Zwinglius Redivivus

Nihil salvum esse potest, donec rabies. – John Calvin

Archive for the ‘pseudo-christianity’ Category

What Damnable Heresy

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This is not how baptism works.

‘Streamline’ ‘church’ has streamlined baptism to a base farce and is no church.

Written by Jim

18 Sep 2018 at 8:25 am

This Is How The Prosperity Gospel Heretics Do It

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‘winners chapel international’?  Good lord, why not just name it ‘prosperity gospel heretics international’.  At least that would be the truth.

And why does Texas have so many of these nutbag pentebabbleist prosperity lunatics?  Is it the heat?

Written by Jim

17 Sep 2018 at 1:29 pm

Australian Pentebabbleists are Unhinged Too…

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Pentecostal leaders have warned their congregation that “darkness” will spread across Australia and Christians will be persecuted if Scott Morrison does not win the next election.

Others have been told that Morrison’s rise to power was a “miracle of God” that answered three days of prayer and fasting. They have been told that Morrison has made a public stand for Christian freedoms, and has promised to keep doing so, so God intervened to ensure he beat the home affairs minister, Peter Dutton, in the Liberal leadership spill.

Videos posted to YouTube show how Pentecostal and evangelical religious communities are reacting to the rise of Morrison as prime minister.

Last Sunday, pastor Adam F Thompson from Voice of Fire Ministries and Adrian Beale from Everrest Ministries told a congregation of Hope City Church that Morrison’s elevation to power was divinely inspired.

Thompson, who says he can interpret dreams and that supernatural signs and manifestations accompany his ministry, said he’d received a message from God that Morrison and the Coalition must win the election.

“The Lord woke me up at 4.30am this morning,” Thompson told the Hope City Church congregation on Sunday, in a video he asked to be recorded.

“Scott Morrison, he’s a born-again Christian, he’s probably one of the first ever born-again prime ministers, but it’s not time to celebrate at the moment.

“This is a crucial time right now … In the next six months it’s time for the body of Christ [the Christian church] to put its differences aside … and come together and agree that Jesus is the Messiah and start praying together and calling it in and praying for our prime minister right now, and for our government.

Lunatics.  Unmoored, unhinged, unscriptural, unchristian lunatics.  The only thing worse than a Pentebabbleist is…. well, no, there is nothing.  The get it all wrong.  Every doctrine.  All of them.

Written by Jim

13 Sep 2018 at 4:44 pm

Robert Jeffress Asks Congregation to Stand for the Reading of Donald Trump’s Tweets

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As part of the church’s weekly patriotic service held Sunday, Pastor Robert Jeffress reportedly asked the congregation at First Baptist Dallas to stand for the traditional reading of Trump’s latest flurry of tweets.

“Let’s all take a moment and stand now in reverence as we listen to the infallible, inspired words of Trump,” Jeffress said solemnly. “If you have your smartphone with you, please turn with me to twitter.com/realDonaldTrump. We’ll be reading out of Trump’s September 5 tweets on down through the end of the week.”

Pastor Jeffress also indicated that if anyone didn’t have their smartphone with them, there was a hard-copy, leather-bound printout of Trump’s tweets available in the book rack in front of them.

“Thus saith the Lord,” he began, before reading Trump’s infamous “TREASON?” tweet and proceeding through everything else the President posted that week. Jeffress’ inflection rose and fell as he attempted to replicate the passion, emotion, and pure rage indicated in the original inspired texts penned by Trump throughout the week. The Dallas preacher also got choked up when he began reading a post in which the President criticized the New York Times. “Excuse me. Sorry—sometimes I just get a little misty-eyed when I browse through Don’s Twitter feed.”

“May Trump add his blessing to this reading and to our nation. Amen,” he concluded at last, wiping tears from his eyes from moving tweets like “Make your products in the United States instead of China. Start building new plants now. Exciting!” and “What was Nike thinking?”

This is actually a spot on portrayal of Jeffress’s heretical servitude to Trumpianity.  The sad thing is that the deluded people of First Baptist, Dallas keep going along with Jeffress.

Written by Jim

10 Sep 2018 at 12:51 pm

John MacArthur’s ‘Social Justice’ Statement is Theologically and Biblically Deficient

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MacArthur’s statement fails to take the Gospel in its fullness seriously.  It fails to understand the implications of the Gospel.  And it’s greatest theological failing is that it fails to show a willingness to make any use at all of Matthew 25:31ff.

In short, MacArthur and his co-signatories lack theological acumen and exegetical knowledge.  Accordingly, no theological statement from them or signed by them can be taken seriously as either a Christian statement of faith or a theological declaration that should be adopted by anyone.

It is heresy.

Written by Jim

8 Sep 2018 at 8:39 am

I Don’t Know Who this Bill Johnson Character is…

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But theologically, he’s a moron.  So I’m sure he’s very popular with the massa perditionis and emergents.  But I repeat myself.

Calvin would toss him on the fire with Servetus.

Written by Jim

3 Sep 2018 at 7:47 am

The Cult of Trump

The Atlantic calls it the ‘Church’ of Trump, but it isn’t.  It’s a cult.

You could list the scandals—from Robert Mueller’s probe to Michael Cohen to Stormy Daniels, from Tom Price to Scott Pruitt to Ben Carson, from Bill Shineto Ronny Jackson to Jared Kushner, from the Trump Hotel to the Trump label, from Charlottesville to Ukraine—and while it would be very long, it would not (at least in the eyes of Trump’s supporters) be disqualifying. Politically speaking, the president is standing with his guns blazing in the middle of Fifth Avenue, and he’s not losing anyone. Miraculously, Trump remains on top; so far this year, Gallup has registered an approval rating among the members of his own party ranging from 81 to 90 percent. Despite it all, those numbers have barely budged.

How is such a thing possible? In part, it’s a symptom of contemporary politics—Barack Obama enjoyed similarly high approval ratings from Democratic partisans during his terms in office. And there’s some evidence that Republicans disaffected with Trump are ceasing to identify with their party, leaving only the president’s supporters behind. But Obama never endured a comparable string of scandals; the erosion of the GOP’s ranks doesn’t explain the fervency of those who remain.

Is it Trump—or something larger than Trump? Possibly, it’s both. Last spring, my colleague Peter Beinart looked at the increasing secularization of American society and how it had contributed to the rise of political tribalism:

As Americans have left organized religion, they haven’t stopped viewing politics as a struggle between “us” and “them.” Many have come to define usand them in even more primal and irreconcilable ways.

This tribalism has infected both the right and the left—but in particular, Beinart cited the work of W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia who has concluded that “rates of religious attendance have fallen more than twice as much among whites without a college degree as among those who graduated college.”

Non-college-educated whites are the Trump base, now set adrift:

Establishing causation is difficult, but we know that culturally conservative white Americans who are disengaged from church experience less economic success and more family breakdown than those who remain connected, and they grow more pessimistic and resentful.

You could draw a straight line from a disenfranchised, pessimistic, resentful audience to Trump’s brand of fear-driven, divisive politics, but this would leave out an equally important part of the Trump phenomenon, and something critical to its success: the elation. Go to a Trump rally, speak to Trump supporters, and the devotion is nearly evangelical. Their party line is less a talking point than a sermon: His voters have talked to me about the “bad deal” with Iran, the “drug mules” crossing the border, the Mueller “witch hunt.” The language is uniform, as they quote chapter and verse. Here are the true believers: It is no surprise that Trump’s numbers won’t move.

Etc.  It’s all really quite stunning.

Written by Jim

14 Aug 2018 at 1:08 pm

Calling it A Church Doesn’t Make it a Church- And This Isn’t a Church

No sermons at this church: Congregants wander silent and barefoot through nature at Church of the Wild

Nope. Not a Church. Sorry not sorry. It bears none of the marks of the Church and simply falls short theologically of what εκκλησια means.

The sound of drumming filtered through the trees and called the people from their cars.

Toting folding chairs and slathered in bug spray, they came from the parking lot — some young, some old; some in pairs, some alone; many in Tevas, a few barefoot. Without speaking, they set their chairs in a circle in a leafy clearing in McLean’s Turkey Run Park. They grabbed drums laid out on a patterned blanket, gripped the instruments between their knees and joined in the pounding.

“Your hands know what to do,” intoned professional drum circle facilitator Katy Gaughan. “Just drum! There is no right way and no wrong way.”

On a hot and muggy Sunday, Church of the Wild was about to begin.

The church, which meets once a month in parks across the District, Maryland and Virginia, draws about 50 congregants. Services, presided over by the Rev. Sarah Anders, typically run an hour and a half. Worshipers drum, sing and listen to recitations of poetry in an effort to connect with nature and fulfill the church’s stated goal: honoring “the mutual indwelling of the Divine with the Earth and all of its beings.”

Not a church.  Not close to a church.  Nothing like a church.  Calling it a church makes the one who does so a liar, and not it a Church.

Written by Jim

13 Aug 2018 at 2:45 pm

Tim Clinton: Christian ‘Counselor’ and Plagiarist

This guy…. wow.  His plagiarism makes Mark Driscoll’s look like amateur hour.  Wow.

Written by Jim

10 Aug 2018 at 2:36 pm

This Clown, Again

Wrong. Christ isn’t Deborah and Barak isn’t the Church.  Christ is Christ, Barak is Barak, the Church is the Church, and Deborah is Deborah.  They aren’t lego blocks you can interchange at will, heretic.

giphy-downsized (1)

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2018 at 4:56 pm

Today’s GOP- Ex-South Carolina GOP leader sacrifices family dog after claiming to receive command from God

A former leader of the South Carolina Republican Party faces animal cruelty charges after he allegedly killed his mother’s dog, claiming he is “the second coming of Christ” and God needed the “sacrifice.”

Police officers found Todd Kincannon in his underwear, bloodied and covered in dog hair on July 26 on the front steps of his parents’ home in Simpsonville, S.C., according to multiple reports. The officers were responding to an early-morning 911 phone call placed by his father. Kincannon’s father told police Kincannon’s mother had locked herself in their bathroom fearing of her life.

“The reason I killed the dog is this, it’s real simple … I’m sorry, I think ya’ll [sic] are going to have to take me to the Psych Institution, I get that,” Kincannon told officers, according to their police report, per the Washington Post. “But I’ll tell you from a legal standpoint you know, it’s in the State Constitution that God is sovereign and I honestly think he told me to do it.”

They later found the dog “choked, stabbed, and mutilated” in the family’s kitchen, NBC News reported. Kincannon, 37, had been living with his parents at the time of the incident.

News flash- nutbags-  God doesn’t command such things.  I bet Mr GOP attends a Pentebabbleist church.

Written by Jim

6 Aug 2018 at 11:46 am

Another Book I Won’t Be Reading

When an author has his name bigger than ‘God’ on the cover of his book, you know exactly what he is all about.

Written by Jim

4 Aug 2018 at 12:45 pm

In Which Jerry Falwell Jr Makes Light Of God

Technically Falwell hasn’t taken God’s name in vain because ‘God’ is not God’s name, Yahweh is.  Nonetheless, he has made light of God and utilized the word ‘God’ in what is essentially swearing.

I guess these days ‘Evangelicals’ are willing to say anything to support Trump- including things that no Christian can say with any sense of comfort or rightness.

Written by Jim

2 Aug 2018 at 3:08 pm

The Local Cult is Hosting ‘Movie Month’ This August

In their advert for the series the cultists write

In the quest for crowds the local cult has decided that the Gospel itself isn’t good enough for its groupies and so they have to add gimmicks to their services so that the herd will want to show up.

Unfortunately this ‘Gospel +’ something mentality is the root of all heresy.  When Jesus isn’t enough, something has to be added and anything that added is heresy.  If Jesus isn’t enough, then you aren’t a Christian nor is yours a Christian Church, you are a cultist and your church is a cult.

Written by Jim

1 Aug 2018 at 10:38 am

How Come the False Prophet Jim Bakker Hasn’t Been Punished As A False Prophet?

He has lied, and lied, and lied, and yet he still fleeces the sheep and none of them hold him accountable.  Pentebabbleists… always unmoored from Scripture and reaping the consequences in unhinged falsehoods.

End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker warned on his television program last week that God had told him that the time is rapidly approaching when Christian leaders in America will be murdered by left-wing activists.

Bakker was discussing the chaos and controversy surrounding a movie about Roe v. Wade that is being made by and stars right-wing activists—including cameos by Milo Yiannopoulos and Tomi Lahren—when he was prompted to issue this dire warning.

“They don’t want the truth to come out and here in America, we don’t have the freedom to produce a movie that tells the other side,” Bakker bellowed. “People, you don’t understand where we are.I’ve been hesitating to tell you what’s going to come next—one of the things—but they’re going to begin to kill the Christian leaders in this country. I don’t want to say it—I’ve known it for many, many years—but I knew it would come and I believe God has told me that it’s going to happen very, very soon.”

God didn’t tell him anything.  God never has told him anything.  Every claim he makes to that effect is a lie.

Written by Jim

31 Jul 2018 at 6:48 pm

That One Time a Hillsong ‘Pastor’ and Justin Bieber Did Shots Together…

Fans of celebrities barely bat an eye anymore at the drunken antics of superstars. Instead the public displays of carnality of the rich and famous are celebrated. Smiled at. Wink wink. Are we seeing this same blasé attitude in the visible Church?

Celebrity Pastor Carl Lentz, who pastors Hillsong NYC and megastar Justin Bieber, a close friend whom Lentz personally shepherds, were photographed partying in a tavern. The world is now seeing the fallout of the spectacle, in which the two slammed back shots. The pictures show Lentz smiling as Bieber began removing his clothes at Blue Door Bar in Queenstown, New Zealand.

The singer started out his night fully clothed like any other patron, then stripped off his camouflage jacket and white singlet which saw some unstoppable smiles from the two female bartenders serving him. Shots and cocktails were on the menu for the US singer and his mate, Hillsong pastor Carl Lentz.

If you admire this, there’s something a bit tragic about you and your ‘faith’.

Written by Jim

31 Jul 2018 at 6:42 am

Signs of the Times

RHE has a new book out.  So I’ve fixed the cover so it’s more accurate.  You’re welcome.

Written by Jim

30 Jul 2018 at 1:39 pm

This isn’t Baptism And That Isn’t a Church

Everything about this is wrong.  Everything.

These people are deluded.

Written by Jim

29 Jul 2018 at 5:41 pm

#ICYMI – The Bee Stings the Ridiculous Interpretations of Revelation

In a groundbreaking discovery sure to change the future of eschatological studies, scholars revealed Monday that the autograph of the book of Revelation originally included a detailed end times and rapture chart to help readers make sense of the apocalyptic literature.

Archaeologists working on the island of Patmos recently uncovered the original autograph of the book and found the intricate chart detailing the church age, pre-tribulation rapture of the church, seven-year period of turmoil, and subsequent millennial reign of Christ. The chart also featured detailed descriptions of each of the twenty-one dispensations of history, scholars confirmed.

“This is an exciting discovery,” lead archaeologist Dr. Wendell Holmes told reporters. “End-times charts have become a popular past-time of the church over the past century, and now we know there is solid biblical warrant for their existence.”

Holmes further stated that the find confirmed that the futurist, premillennial framework for interpreting the book of Revelation is the correct one, much to the delight of modern end times prophecy experts like John Hagee, David Jeremiah, and Hal Lindsey.

At publishing time, scholars had also confirmed the discovery of the Apostle John’s rudimentary, parchment-based prophecy blog, on which he posted constant prophecy updates predicting the Lord Jesus would return by 1988.

It’s funny because there are people who really think like that.

Written by Jim

28 Jul 2018 at 7:31 am

This Is What Happens When People try to Out Ann Voskamp Ann Voskamp…

They say ridiculous, nonsensical, baseless things about Jesus.