Why Listening To Joyce Meyer is the Opposite Of What She Says it Is

Joyce wants you to think God tells her things.  Unfortunately Joyce ‘The Montanist Pentebabbleist Heretic’ Meyer is wrong.  Oh so wrong.  Furthermore, the things she thinks God says have no Scriptural support or theological basis.

In other words, in Old Testament terminology, she’s nothing but a self-appointed false prophet(ess).  A delusional deceiver.

meyer

She’s simply made that stuff up in her overly fertile imagination. The Scripture informs us that we are to love the Lord with our whole mind. That means not discounting it or acting as though it were an instrument of evil.

To be sure, reason apart from revelation can be a sorry mistress (pace Luther). But Meyer here isn’t describing that, she’s describing reason as reason itself. She is anti-thinking because what she fears most, and what all heretics like her fear most, are hearers who think.

When You’re An Emergent ‘Church’, You Have to Tell People You Aren’t Into Weird Stuff Before they Arrive…

Otherwise, well, they expect you to be weird.  Because.  You’re emergent.  And, a priori, weird.  (With thanks to Zeke for the tip).

ick

That Awkward Moment When you Realize You’re Reading Pure Rubbish

This Is Why No One Can Take Pentebabbleism Seriously: Bert Farias Wins the Dilly This Week

Writes one pentebabbleist in something called ‘Charisma

[Homosexuality] is such a putrid smelling demon that other demons don’t even like to hang around it. A genuine prophet of God told me that the Lord allowed him to smell this demon spirit, and he got sick to his stomach. And yet as humans, many embrace this demon. Yes, you heard me right. Being gay is demonic.

There is an account in the Bible where Jesus casts out 2,000 demons out of a man. The demons came out screaming and begged Jesus to send them into the pigs. The pigs didn’t want them, so they ran down a steep hill and were drowned in the sea. Pigs have more sense than some humans. People embrace homosexual demons, but the pigs would rather die than be possessed with demons.

Erm…  Bert Farias isn’t a member of SBL.  I suspect he’s in AAR.  Anyway, he’s a lousy exegete. So, Mr F., here’s your Dilly, and might I add, it’s very well deserved:

dilly-the-dilettante

And Yet Another ‘I Saw Heaven And Have Come to Tell You About It’ Story

How long, O Lord, how long….

fb_main (2) 2After working on more than 20 films in the last 11 years, including Fireproof, Courageous, and The Passion of the Christ, my team is honored to help to engage churches with the new film based on Don Piper’s best-selling book, 90 Minutes in Heaven, which just wrapped up production last week and is set to release in thousands of theaters in October 2015.

In spite of the uncertainty in some Christian circles as to how to discuss the many personal testimonies about Heaven, there is massive interest from the general public, especially among those who do not attend church regularly, as to ‘what happens when we die?’ Because the movie stars well-known actors Hayden Christensen(Star Wars II & III) and Kate Bosworth(Superman Returns), many people not accustomed to seeing a faith-based film will be much more likely to see it while in theaters.

And there it is. It has nothing to do with the truth. Rather, it’s aimed simply to cash in on the ‘Heaven is for real and here’s proof even though Scripture offers no such proof nor calls upon believers to accept such ‘evidence” films… Alas.  If Scripture isn’t sufficient for you, and you need something more, you, good sir or madam, are a heretic.

Sola Scriptura.  Period.  Not Sola Scriptura + some nutjob making up a tale just to make a buck.

NB- I fixed their poster-

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Stop It, Just Stop Now…

Stop this stupidity.  Bloody pentebabbleists (and apostles of strategic prayer)…

ugh

Oh Shut Up Rebecca, Just Shut Up

Appearing on God Knows with hosts Cindy and Mike Jacobs, Christian minister Rebecca Greenwood explained that she first became aware of her gift of prophecy when she discovered she had the ability to predict what was going to happen in movies.

Greenwood, who is the president of Christian Harvest International, explained that she felt her first inkling of her prophetic abilities at a Benny Hinn revival in Houston. After accepting an “anointing” from Hinn, she claims she collapsed.

“I was in the throne room,” she explained.”I was feeling no pain. I was literally in the throne room at the feet of Jesus. I began to weep and say ‘Lord, this is everything I have ever wanted. I don’t want to go back, don’t send me back,’ and he said,’Becca, you have a husband, you have a daughter, you have more children.’ That personal encounter with the Lord, nothing else can compare, right?”

Greenwood then went on to describe becoming aware of her prophetic powers, explaining that, not only did she predict that killer bees would be coming to the U.S. from Africa, but that when she went to the movies with her husband she could predict what was going to happen next.

Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………………………..   If any of these pentebabbleists had any INKLING of what the Bible said and the theological significance of it they would never say such blatantly stupid, non-Christian, idiotic, sickening, wretched, mindless things.  But they don’t.  Because they have no idea about anything except the mindless foolishness they cook up in their own self centered depraved minds.

As though God has nothing better to do than tell some vapid empty headed dimwit what’s going to happen next in a movie.  Good grief.  I want to punch someone in the throat.  I want to Servetus-ize someone.  Vile bloody Montanists.

Lutheran Satire’s View of Rachel Held Evans’ View of the Millennials View of the Church

Bravo, Lutherans, Bravo.

via Lutheran Satire on FB

via Lutheran Satire on FB

Good Grief… The Pastor Who Has Taken His ‘Sermon Inspiration’ From CNN’s ‘Finding Jesus’

Seriously… it’s a pretty good series but ‘inspiration for sermons’???  Seriously?  Has the Reverend Pastor never opened a Bible?

Finding Jesus: Faith, Fact, Forgery,” a six-part series, explores mysteries of the Bible by investigating science and archaeology in a bid to dispel myths and reaffirm facts about Christianity. During episode two, the documentary explored the identity of John the Baptist and his possible remains which set the basis for a recent sermon led by Toronto’s Willowdale Pentecostal Church Senior Pastor Dan Disabatino.

“It’s given us a format to follow and it’s given us something to try to engage our congregation,” Disabatino said of the popular series. “It’s very well done and we’re very impressed with the quality. … [So far] we’ve done two sermons over two Sundays.”

It’s given him a format to follow… and something to engage… oh forget it.  How absurd.  It reminds me of the ‘Pastor’ of a Presbyterian Church I visited once while on vacation who drew his ‘sermon’ from the Reader’s Digest (no kidding, his text was a ‘reading’ from RD).  If Scripture isn’t sufficient to engage your congregation, you’re too boring to be a preacher.  And if you have to find inspiration for sermons on the tv, you’re too ignorant of the Bible to be a preacher.  Get thee behind me, Satan.

John Hagee- Plagiarist Plagiarizing Dreadful Wrong Theology

Richard Bartholemew has the gory details.  Read the whole- it truly is a parade example of a blind pseudo theologian leading a blind Hagee to a ditch.  I especially liked this bit.

In a rare acknowledgement of the need for accuracy, WND points out that “there were no blood moons in 1948… The blood moons tetrad confirmed by NASA’s website took place in 1949.” I’ll add that while NASA’s website has statistical data on lunar eclipses, I’m willing to take a bet that there has never been any statement relating to “the history of Israel”.

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