Category Archives: Pseudo-Archaeology

How to Avoid Wasting Time Online

The best way to avoid wasting time online is by ignoring any post, tweet, essay, YouTube video, podcast, TikTok, Reel, Instagram post and any other thing out there that contains the words ‘the TRUE history…’ of whatever.

Every single such thing is always absolute trash.  Don’t waste time on it.  Trust me here.  Not only will you have spent time you will never get back, but you will hate yourself for it.  It is ALWAYS pseudo-scholarship invented by the tinfoil hat people.

I’m urging you to spare yourself the abject misery you’ll experience by bothering with such garbage.  Purveyors of these things aren’t smart or even clever.  They’re just sad and lonely and have small IQ’s.


“When Biblically Inspired Pseudoscience and Clickbait Cause Looting”

A team of anthropologists argues that flawed research linking biblical Sodom to an archaeological site led to media hype that harms science and encourages illegal excavations, By Morag M. Kersel, Meredith S. Chesson, and Austin “Chad” Hill.

Give it a read.  It’s great stuff.

For myriad reasons, and like many other scholars working in Southwest Asia, we were profoundly disappointed when Scientific Reports, a peer-reviewed journal operating under one of the world’s leading scientific journals, Naturepublished pseudoscientific research about a supposed ancient cosmic airburst destroying the Tall el-Hammam site in what is today Jordan. The authors speculate that this putative event may have been the basis for the biblical story of Sodom, in which a city was allegedly destroyed by stones and fire sent from the sky.

As of today, the original Scientific Reports story has been accessed 348,000 times and has generated nearly 20,000 tweets (including a retweet by astronaut Chris Hadfield, who has more than 2 million followers). It has been covered in 176 news outlets (including major scientific outlets, such as Smithsonian magazine) and was ranked 55th of the over 300,000 tracked articles of a similar age in all academic journals.

And that’s just the opening!

Think the ‘Ark Encounter’ is Off Kilter? Just Wait till You See the ‘Tower of Babel’ they’re Building

A Bible-themed attraction in Kentucky that features a 510-foot-long (155-meter-long) wooden Noah’s ark is planning to begin fundraising for an expansion.

The Ark Encounter said Wednesday that it would take about three years to research, plan and build a “Tower of Babel” attraction on the park’s grounds in northern Kentucky.

A release from the Ark Encounter park said the new attraction will “tackle the racism issue” by helping visitors “understand how genetics research and the Bible confirm the origin of all people groups around the world.” No other details were given on the Babel attraction or what it might look like.


Answers in Genesis, the ministry behind the ark, raised private funds to construct and open the massive wooden attraction in 2016. The group preaches a strict interpretation of the Earth’s creation in the Bible. The group also founded The Creation Museum, which asserts that dinosaurs walked the earth just a few thousand years ago, millions of years after scientists say they went extinct. That facility is just south of Cincinnati in Boone County, Kentucky.

The Ark Encounter’s expansion plans also include an indoor model of “what Jerusalem may have looked like in the time of Christ.”

Chain the Bible to the pulpits again.  It’s the only way to keep the loons away.

More Archaeological Exaggeration: Solomon as Shipping Magnate

How one gets from Phoenician ships plying the Med to a Solomon as shipping magnate is a bit of a mystery.  And more than a bit of a stretch.

Frankly, it’s just more of the exaggeration we’ve come to expect from some ‘researchers’.

“Neither Israel nor Lebanon could tap into local gold and silver resources. The biblical entrepreneurs were forced to look to the horizon. The land of Tarshish was a vital source for Solomon’s silver. As the Book of Ezekiel recorded: ‘Tarshish did business with you because of your great wealth of goods.’”

Kingsley added: “What turned up in southern Spain is undeniable. Phoenician signature finds, richly strewn from Rio Tinto to Málaga, leave no doubt that Near Eastern ships voyaged to what must have seemed the far side of the moon by 900BC.

“When I spotted in ancient accounts the name of the hill where silver was mined at Rio Tinto – Solomon’s Hill – I was stunned. Biblical history, archaeology and myth merged to reveal the long-sought land of Tarshish celebrated in the Old Testament.

“It looks like Solomon was wise in his maritime planning. He bankrolled the voyages from Jerusalem and let salty Phoenician sailors take all the risks at sea.”

Every bit of that is the claim of a man describing a suit on the basis of a single button.

More Exaggerated Archaeological Claims

Once more archaeology is claimed to do something it can’t do.

Biblical ‘royal purple’ found at Timna offers look at King David wardrobe

No, it doesn’t.

The special purple described in the Bible and wore by the kings of Israel, including David and Solomon, was recently identified on 3,000 year-old fragments of fabrics unearthed at the iconic site of Timna in the Negev. “King Solomon made for himself the carriage; he made it of wood from Lebanon. Its posts he made of silver, its base of gold. Its seat was upholstered with purple, its interior inlaid with love” reads the third chapter of Song of Songs.

Finding purple thread means finding purple thread. Nothing more. Just because it’s purple doesn’t mean it offers a window into David’s wardrobe or Solomon’s seat. Such a claim is a massive leap, like saying that if you find a dog’s bones in Tyre it must be the bones of the dog under the table that the woman said got to eat crumbs. And they know it.

“The discovery also tells us more about the people who lived at Timna, offering us proof that upper class people resided there,” she added. “Purple was the color worn by the elites. While we cannot say who the fragments of fabrics we found belonged to, one thing is sure: if we had been able to open King David or King Salomon’s wardrobes, we would have found clothes dyed in this color.”

It may tell us something about Timna, but that’s it.

Once more the press is trying to make a suit out of a button. I wish they’d stop it. It does service to no one and certainly not to archaeology.

No, They Haven’t Found the Nail Used in Jesus’ Crucifixion

And no, they won’t.  Ever.  Know why?  Because there’s NO WAY to demonstrate the claim.  No. Way.  But there’s one thing that you can be sure of, and that is that garbage archaeological claims will always me made around Christmas and Easter because that’s when gullible people are most prone to accept garbage science and history.

Christian relics, including a nail that is claimed to have been used in Jesus Christ’s crucifixion, have been discovered in a secret chamber at a monastery.

Archaeologists who are currently working in the Milevsko monastery in the Czech Republic has unearthed a six-inch-long nail that was placed inside a box which has 21-karat gold cross on the front and is said to date back to between 260 and 416 AD.

The box has an inscription which translates to ‘Jesus is King’.

Experts say they are unable to confirm if the nail was used for the crucifixion, but have said its discovery is ‘even greater than the reliquary of St. Maurus’.

Those not in the know about Christian relic discoveries, the Maurus Reliquary is a gold box that contains fragments on the bodies of Saint maurus, Saint John the Baptist and Saint Timothy – so it’s a big deal.

Speaking to Czech News Agency (ČTK), Jiří Šindelář, who took part in the discovery, said: “Because the Hussites destroyed the archive, there was no information that such a thing was here.”

But experts told ČTK it’s ‘realistic’ that a nail from Jesus’ crucifixion could have ended up at the Milev Monastery, which was ‘one of the richest institutions in Czech Republic’.


More Garbage Claims From ‘Archaeology’: The Nails Used to Crucify Jesus

NAILS controversially linked to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ have fragments of ancient bone and wood embedded in them, a bombshell new study has revealed.

The nails were allegedly found in Jerusalem, in a first-century burial cave believed to be the resting place of Caiaphas – the Jewish priest who sent Jesus to his death in the Bible.

You don’t even have to read the rest. It’s garbage.   It was garbage when Simcha made the claim in the 90’s and it’s garbage now with ‘scientific evidence’.

More Ridiculous Claims from Archaeology: The ‘Face of Yahweh’

An archaeologist’s controversial assertion that a nearly 3,000-year-old clay head may depict the face of the biblical deity Yahweh has sparked a furious response from fellow researchers, who are calling the theory unfounded and irresponsible.

Stop it.

The story appeared first at the end of July, but you probably haven’t heard about it because it’s such a rubbish claim.  How Garfinkel gets Yahweh from this…

BAR Warmed Over

BAR republished a piece yesterday that was first published several years back about ‘children’ in Ancient Israel.  Apparently when it first appeared it wasn’t as well received as one might imagine.  One commentator observed back in October of 2018

This piece is quite limited and amateurish. There is a huge body of commentary and interpretations that the author has totally ignored. Just because it was written one way does not excuse slovenliness in researching how the various statements were actually carried out and how that changed over time and generations. Imposing one’s own interpretation based on modern interpretations of mistranslations or worse yet not understanding the biblical language in context and in literary styles of the time only leads to the publishing of pieces like this one which should not be published in any serious venue. almost Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Adele.

I guess the decision to warm it over and toss it out again means BAR is running out of new material.  People eventually grow tired of ‘limited and amateurish’ pieces I suppose.

The Hanging of the Greens (And their Museum)

Andrew Tobolowsky writes, among other things

In short, in trying to create a Museum of the Bible, the Greens have been unscrupulous and careless in collecting artifacts thereof. They have muddied the water that we desperately need to be clear because there are so few fish in it to begin with, and we are very hungry. Even a scrupulous Museum of the Bible constructed through the religious commitments that brought you Burwell v. Hobby Lobby would not be very good, and certainly not very informative. They could, however, at least try a little bit to collect real artifacts that are also actually for sale and not stolen. Honest mistakes, not so surprisingly, happen somewhat less often to people who make a little effort to avoid them, as the Museum never has, and may not in the future.

Give the whole a read.  The Greens don’t have a fan in him.

Breaking News: An Archaeological Discovery That May Change Everything!!!

Jerusalem:  DP –  Archaeologist Rob Farfella today announced at a packed press conference that he and his team of international archaeologists working for the Bradbury Archaological Referendum have discovered a parchment in Jerusalem that may indeed be ancient and may contain a series of laws that may date to the 10th century BCE and which may show that maybe some of the laws in the Hebrew Bible may be related potentially to laws that may have originated in Egypt or maybe Babylonia.

Farfella went on to describe the location of the artifact’s extraction as maybe a controlled dig or maybe a shop in Jerusalem’s Old City.  Photos of the artifact may be forthcoming, possibly and potentially, if the IAA gives the discoverers permission potentially.

Fortunately a photo of the image has been leaked by the excavation team:

The excavation team has dubbed this potentially important manuscript ‘Codex Farfellensis Imbecilicus’.

Reports from other sources indicate that there may be nothing at all to the claims being made in today’s presser by Farfella and BAR.  ‘Skepticism is always appropriate when it comes to the announcements of the importance of such trinkets’ said Cindy Tubors of Harvard U.

Other scholars may weigh in, maybe, said Tubors as she wandered off from the press conference to imbibe at the local tavern and lament the death of archaeological seriousness.

Speaking of Rank Speculation…

There’s an archaeologist who says he has discovered the very pillar in Jerusalem where Abram and Melchizedek met…  Nope, not the Onion.  Though by all rights it should be.  With many thanks to Mark Elliott for pointing it out-

An Israeli archaeologist has uncovered the remains of an altar believed to be from around the time when Abraham met the high priest Melchizedek in Jerusalem.

Archaeologist Eli Shukron has spent much of his life looking for Bible history in the City of David.  Shukron gave CBN News an exclusive look at what he feels is one of his most important discoveries kept under lock and key that dates back 4000 years – a stone pillar.

Blerg.  Come on people.  Come on.  What possible evidence is there for such a claim?  None, is the only appropriate answer.

Shukron says the pillar, found in the City of David, is just like the one described in Genesis 28 when Jacob had a dream in Bethel of a ladder reaching up to Heaven.  After the dream, Jacob said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven!  Then Jacob rose early in the morning and took the stone that he had put at his head, set it up as a pillar, and poured oil on top of it.”

Shukron believes Melchizedek set a stone pillar up in Jerusalem just as Jacob did in Bethel.

Blerg.  What rubbish.  Read the rest if you enjoy migraines.

The Latest Essay From Biblical Archaeology Review

Scholars Now Believe The Last Supper Was Actually A Potluck

A coalition of scholars has announced that the Last Supper partaken of by Jesus and His disciples was actually a potluck.

While it was long thought that the supper was closer to a traditional Jewish Passover meal, evangelical scholars looking into the matter have determined that it was actually a bring-your-own-casserole event.

“It seems that Jesus and His disciples each agreed to bring a casserole, hot dish, or beverage,” Dr. Michael Svigel, Professor of Theological Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary said. “It’s clear that everyone brought really unhealthy, fatty foods to the event. The Messiah passed around a sign-up sheet prior to the supper to make sure that everyone brought something.”

The claim was bolstered by the discovery of several empty casserole dishes in the upper room, as well as a simmering Crock-Pot full of questionably cooked beef, still plugged in and simmering. Archaeologists also confirmed the discovery of a pot of watered-down coffee and a big jug of watery punch. The Apostle Peter brought a delicious tuna casserole, while James and John brought their famous “Sons of Thunder chili,” according to researchers.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Judas Iscariot snuck into the potluck without bringing anything, mumbling something about not seeing the announcement, though the event was clearly announced for weeks.

Oh wait a minute, that’s from the Babylon Bee, not BAR.  Oh well, pretty much the same thing these days anyway.

No, The Tower of Babel Hasn’t Been Found. I Don’t Care What Any Numbskull Claims in His Documentary

THE Biblical story of the Tower of Babel could be proved to be true after ancient remains were discovered in Iraq, an Amazon Prime documentary has claimed.

Amazon Prime’s Bible Conspiracy says ruins uncovered at the Borsippa archaeological site have similarities to the tale.

What these tragically ignorant souls don’t understand at all is that the tale of Babel is an etiological tale intending to explain the existence of Ziggurats and to explain the variety of languages. Accordingly, if some Ziggurat is discovered, it doesn’t prove the Tower existed, it proves Ziggurats did! Further, there is simply no way to demonstrate that any one Ziggurat is THE Tower. It’s all just mindless speculation by ignorant imaginers. And if you believe them, you deserve to be fooled.

Get your biblical scholarship from biblical scholars.  Not nitwits on Amazon Prime.

When Archaeology is Dumbed Down and Sensationalized, This is the Result: Megan Fox

Megan Fox is returning to the small screen with her new Travel Channel docu-series, Legends of the Lost With Megan Fox. The four-episode show will the Hollywood starlet embarking on a journey across the four corners of the globe to unearth some of the greatest mysteries of history.

Instead of watching what is sure to be rubbish, take Aren Maeir’s MOOC and learn what archaeology really is and really does.

Chasing Sodom

This kind of nonsense never ends.

A multi-disciplinary team of scientists has a new theory for why all human civilization abruptly ended on the banks of the Dead Sea some 3,700 years ago. According to analyzed archaeological evidence, the disaster of biblical proportions can be explained by a massive explosion, similar to one recorded over 100 years ago in Russia. …

As reported in Science News, at the recently concluded Denver-based ASOR Annual Meeting, director of scientific analysis at Jordan’s Tall el-Hammam Excavation Project Phillip J. Silvia presented a paper, “The 3.7kaBP Middle Ghor Event: Catastrophic Termination of a Bronze Age Civilization” during a session on Environmental Archaeology of the Ancient Near East.

Let’s give it up for rank speculation….

Frank Cross on Unprovenanced Artifacts

“I am indeed to be included among those who think that artifacts, particularly those bearing inscriptions, should be published whether dug up in scientifically controlled excavations or dug up by plundering antiquities dealers, collectors or their minions. Inscribed artifacts have so much—I am tempted to say most—to contribute to history and culture that they dare not be discarded and ignored. . . . To throw away inscriptional materials because they come from illicit digs (or forgers) is in my opinion irresponsible, either an inordinate desire for certitude on the part of those without the skills or energy to address the question of authenticity or the patience to wait until a consensus of scholars can be reached. It is noteworthy that those most eloquent in denouncing the publication of material from illicit digs are narrow specialists, especially dirt archaeologists.

Via, with further thoughts on the topic and the ironic quote of the editor of BAR (ironic given BAR’s history of publishing whatever regardless of provenance).

Interestingly, whether he intended to or not, Cross and his like-minded friends who think provenance doesn’t matter set the stage for fraud, looting, and forgery.  The law of unintended consequences strikes again.

Unprovenanced materials are trash from the perspective of historical reconstruction.  Trash.  Feel free to use trash if you wish, but your conclusions will be trash as well.

Oh So Now the Times of Israel is Suddenly Interested in Ethics…

The Times of Israel, which regularly pumps up any artifact it deems helpful to Israeli political causes, is suddenly concerned about the ethics of promoting fake Dead Sea Scrolls…

The clock is ticking as potential forgeries’ content increasingly skews and pollutes scholarly research. As the corpus of Dead Sea Scrolls material is dissected with surgical precision, any and all information from the presumed scribes is included in numerous scholarly articles, data banks and dictionaries. Correcting these statistical and contextual fallacies could take generations.

Suddenly conscientious.  It’s almost as though the promoters of all kinds of unprovenanced artifacts are afraid that a #ScrollsToo movement may be their undoing, so they’re trying to get ahead of it.

Archaeologist Dr. Josephine Munch Rasmussen and Årstein Justnes, professor of Biblical Studies at the University of Agder, Norway, wrote in an email, “Rather than more physical testing, the provenance and legality of the post-2002 ‘Dead Sea Scrolls’ fragments in the MOTB and the Schøyen collections need to be critically addressed.  Justnes runs the blog site The Lying Pen of Scribes to document for free public use the mounting evidence of forgeries in the post-2002 Dead Sea Scroll-like fragments.

Don’t forget that along with Justnes, Roberta Mazza and Michael Langlois have been sounding the alarm for YEARS.  It’s nice to see others coming to the party, even if they’re more than a little late.

The media suddenly being concerned about authenticity is a joke.  If they weren’t afraid of the impending backlash among scholars and donors, they still wouldn’t care and they’d still be hawking any unprovenanced rubbish that generated publicity.

You don’t deserve applause when the jig is up and you ‘suddenly’ see the light.  You just deserve disdain.