Category Archives: Pentebabbleists

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: Paula White Expels Demons From the White House…

Which raises the obvious question- why is Trump still there?

President Trump’s spiritual advisor Paula White seems to have one primary function: to expel demons from the White House. Now there’s another video showing her doing exactly that, thanks to the folks over at Right Wing Watch.

During a sermon at Morris Cerullo’s church in California last month, White declared the White House to be covered by “the superior blood of Jesus.”

“It doesn’t take any spirit of discernment or knowledge or wisdom to see that we have runaway generations,” White said in the flagged by RWW. “Opioid epidemic, suicide epidemic, sexual identity epidemic, where do you want me to start? It’s all over the place. The problem is not the world: We can blame it on the liberal educational system that infiltrated the Ivy Leagues … Right now, we’re fighting bills in California—in third grade, in fifth grade—they put certain things on certain vegetables and teach them how to insert them in certain parts of the anatomy.”

It’s these practices, among other things that she incoherently rattled off, that compels White to anoint the “perimeters” of the White House with the Holy Spirit.

“You better believe I’m up there singing the name of Jesus,” she said. “You better believe I’m walking around those parameters saying, ‘I lift this up and I dedicate every ounce of this place as holy ground and I dedicate it by the superior blood of Jesus.’ And every door that God opens for me, I invoke the name of Jesus.”  White then remotely performed an exorcism on the White House.

Etc.  These clowns bring nothing but disrepute on Christianity.  They are themselves tools of evil.  Pentebabbleists… what an unhinged passel of loons.

Reason 8,903 to Avoid ‘Storefront’ Pentebabbleist ‘Churches’ – This One Lured Homeless People in and Forced them To Panhandle for Cash

Inside a beige bungalow in California’s Imperial Valley with a well-trimmed lawn and beds of pink flowers, the 17-year-old girl felt imprisoned. The doors were locked from the inside. The windows were nailed shut.

Like the other homeless and vulnerable people who came to Imperial Valley Ministries seeking shelter, food and rehab, the teenager was not allowed to leave without supervision, was not allowed to contact her family, to “discuss things of the world” or read any book but the Bible, according to federal prosecutors. Those who lived in the church’s group homes had to turn over their money and welfare benefits, their identification and all of their personal belongings, so that even if they wanted to leave, they couldn’t, prosecutors said.

Then, once they settled in, they were allegedly forced to panhandle up to nine hours a day for six days a week in parking lots and on street corners — turning over every penny they earned to the church.

Read the whole. Shame on the cult. And shame on those who think it’s not a cult.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

These people are mentally ill.

During an appearance on The MC Files this Monday, “Firefighter Prophet” Mark Taylor and host Chris McDonald posited a new theory regarding Hurricane Dorian, which is currently threatening the U.S. with 110 mph maximum sustained winds.

According to McDonald, it’s no coincidence that the hurricane is making news headlines immediately after the Justice Department announced that it would not charge former FBI Director James Comey for allegedly leaking his Trump memos to the press.

“When you get these stories and all of a sudden—boom—you’ve got an almost Category 6 storm,” McDonald said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “It does not take a genius to figure out it’s called a distraction and it’s called a false flag.”

Taylor agreed.

“These guys are going to be indicted, they are going to go to jail, they are going to go to prison so it’s coming, guys, we just have to be patient,” Taylor said. “But it’s not by coincidence that the hordes of chaos have been released because they know their time is short.”

“This is one of the most dangerous times right now for us, because this is war,” he continued. “That hurricane right there, that is a declaration of war against the people. What do the shootings and these hurricanes and all of these things that are being generated, what does it have to do [with anything]? It has to do with one thing in particular: the same thing Hitler did in London, England, during The Blitz. They are literally trying to kill the will of man.”

Wrong, Pentebabbleist

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: The ‘Prophetess’ Who Controls the Weather

Ket Kerr has a poor track record when it comes to getting natural disasters to heed her commands, but that’s not stopping her from calling upon God to “pull down Satan’s power,” i.e., Hurricane Dorian — which is threatening President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

Kerr claims to have a direct line to God. She describes her website The Revelation Zone as a source for “continual revelation on Heaven, the spirit realm” and “how to operate” in the spirit realm. On her Facebook page, which has just over 40,000 followers, she describes herself as a “revelator,” which just another word for “prophet.”

In a Facebook video posted to her page this Wednesday, Kerr declared to her “weather warrior” followers that she and they are now “taking authority over the weather,” which something “we all know Jesus can do.”

“And in case you’re wondering why we even have violent types of weather? Satan,” she said. “He has the ability to jump into these storms or earthquakes because we don’t take our true power over him. But that’s changing.”

According to Kerr, Dorian turning from a tropical storm to a hurricane means nothing because “I have authority over it. I will not tolerate it.”

“I command the hosts of heaven to go in there, right now, and pull down all of Satan’s power which is using this storm, Dorian, to bring destruction.”

Oh pentebabbleists… you are amusing, I give you that.  You’re frauds, liars, fake Christians, and theological ignoramuses, but you are amusing.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Educated Women Make Terrible Wives and Mothers’

Pentebabbleists gonna babble I reckon.

GOP Rep. Sean Duffy announced he’s resigning from Congress because his wife, Fox News commentator Rachel Campos-Duffy is pregnant with their ninth child — a child who will likely have to undergo heart surgery soon after birth. According to hyper misogynist and far-right Christian radio host Jesse Lee Peterson, that’s a bad move.  “Why does she have to work?” Peterson asked in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch. “Why doesn’t she stay home, be a wife, a mother, and help raise the children? And now this guy has to step down because this baby apparently has some issues … He shouldn’t quit his job for that. I guarantee you she is making him do it.”

Peterson went on to slam Campos-Duffy as “a selfish, egotistical woman,” adding that her husband is “too beta male to make her do the right thing.”  “This woman is a selfish woman,” Peterson continued. “She has nine kids and she’s trying to be like a man … Women, God has given you the gift of being the assistant of the man, to watch over his children, to make sure things are well at home, to be there when the kids come home, to cook, clean, provide in that way. There is no greater job for a woman than that. And I don’t know why these men would marry these women if they don’t have that mindset. It’s like being married to another man. It’s selfishness, it’s not love.”

Peterson then advised Rep. Duffy that he needs to be out “providing” while his wife stays at home.  “I wouldn’t recommend you marry these educated women with these degrees; they don’t make for good wives and mothers.”

Apparently enough people listen to this ignoramus that he can maintain his absurd radio show.  The problem is never really the ignorant mouthpiece.  The problem is their imbecilic enablers and supporters.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

In an appearance on The Jim Bakker Show earlier this month, Christian author and activist Dr. Lance Wallnau warned that there is a “witchcraft veil” being spread over the minds of Americans, thanks to the media.

“How long are you going to be in this mental fog?” Wallnau asked rhetorically. “I think America is in a Jezebel witchcraft, meaning that there’s a witchcraft veil over the minds and perception of the masses, perpetuated by the false prophesies coming thought the media mouthpiece.”

According to Wallnau, the lies coming from the mainstream media are making the “average Christian” complacent.

“I have young sons in my family, I have friend of mine — they go, ‘Dad, don’t worry about me, I get a balanced perspective. I don’t listen to just one source, I listen to MSNBC and CNN,’” he said. “I go, ‘Son, ninety-five percent of the media is owned by the left — you can’t listen to four different outlets and think you’re getting the true story — they’re all biased.’”

Wallnau then turned to Jim Bakker and encouraged him to break though “that veil” of “false prophets” created by the media, adding that he and others of his ilk have paid a heavy price for their support of President Trump.

Dear Pentebabbleists, please stay away from the bible and theology.  You don’t know what you’re doing.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

This is a weird one even by pentebabbleist standards.

Mark Taylor, also known as the “Firefighter Prophet” is taking anti-immigration rhetoric to a whole new level.

During an appearance on McFiles Network this Monday with host Christopher McDonald, Taylor said that people need to look at crossings at the US-Mexico border from a more “spiritual perspective.”

“Well, let’s look at this from a spiritual perspective here,” Taylor said. “When I wrote that prophetic word before Trump came into office about the border, it was a ‘2,000-mile demonic gate’ — now, even me as the prophetic voice writing that … I didn’t realize the depth of that.”

“You’ve got drugs, guns, human trafficking, sex trafficking, you got MS-13, you got ISIS, I mean, you got all these things that are coming in,” he continued. “Now, you have to look at this from a spiritual perspective. You’re letting in natural entities that are here to destroy the country … it’s the spiritual entities that we are trying to get rid of, guys.”

Taylor then accused churches that give safe haven to migrants of “harboring spiritual entities.”

“I wouldn’t want to walk into one of those churches right now, because they’re inviting them in, Chris,” Taylor declared. “They are literally inviting these spiritual entities, these illegal spiritual entities into their houses of worship — or, they’re not even houses of worship, it’s just a building — whatever it is, whatever you want to call it, you know what I mean? I mean, gimmie a break, they’re part of the system.”

“That’s what’s going on right now. You have to look at this from a spiritual component, how powerful this actually is. These are spiritual entities. And look, the Dark Side knows this. The Deep State is in the highest — the cabal are in the highest forms of witchcraft on earth. They know by allowing the illegals in here what they’re allowing in spiritually, Chris.”

When you combine pentebabbleism and dilettantism, you have a toxic stew of theological ignorance found nowhere else.

Paula White: Pentebabbleist, Heretic, And False Teacher… But I Repeat Myself

What garbage theology these pentebabblesit loons adopt. Wretched Montanists.

Rick Wiles: Lunatic

Right Wing Watch reports on the extreme rhetoric and activities of key right-wing figures and organizations by showing their views in their own words. In this clip, Rick Wiles warns that plant-based meat alternatives like the Impossible Burger are part of a satanic plot to change human DNA and “create a race of soulless creatures” who cannot worship God.

Rick Wiles: Plant-Based Meat Alternatives Are a Satanic Plot to 'Create a Race of Soulless Creatures' from Right Wing Watch on Vimeo.

The Mega-Church Ponzi Scheme

The pastor of a megachurch in West Palm Beach, Fla., is refusing to hand over $1.7 million despite claims by federal prosecutors that the funds belong to people caught up in a $30 million Ponzi scheme run by a former church director.

According to the Palm Beach Post, U.S. District Judge Robin Rosenberg ordered $1 million in assets belonging to Winners Church, a suburban congregation in West Palm Beach, and to church pastors Fred Shipman and Whitney Shipman frozen.

Those assets will remain frozen until Rosenberg issues a ruling on their disposition.

The dispute is part of the fallout from an alleged Ponzi scheme run by Canadian financial commentator Harold Seigel and Florida resident Jose Aman. The duo allegedly convinced hundreds of people to invest millions in Argyle Coin, LLC, which claimed to be a cryptocurrency business related to diamonds.

According to a dozen lawsuits recently filed in Florida and elsewhere, the men were actually running an elaborate scam. The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission announced on Tuesday (May 21) it was shutting down the operation, describing it as a Ponzi scheme.

Some of their money turned up at Winners Church, which boasts a congregation of more than 2,000and had listed Aman as a “director” on state records.

According to a new lawsuit, Aman gave $1 million to the church from 2014 to 2018 and gave church founder Bishop Fred Shipman $700,000. He also allegedly gave Fred Shipman’s son, Winners Church senior pastor Whitney Shipman, around $40,000 during that same time period.

Accordingly, don’t give your money to mega-churches.   So endeth the lesson.

The Bee Stings the ‘Multi-Campus’ Church Nonsense

A couple at Riverview Church North has complained about the unresponsiveness of their multi-site church’s video screen for their need for pastoral counseling, according to sources. Derrick and Judy Markham had been having some communication issues at home, and decided to seek help from their multi-site church, affectionately known as “R-North.” Going to the screen from which they get their weekly Sunday messages, the couple began pouring out their marital issues to the inanimate object, including Judy’s spending and Derrick’s untidiness. However, after a good half-hour with no response from the video screen, the couple’s discussion stalled, and they left discouraged.

“It was like talking to a wall,” explained a visibly frustrated Mrs. Markham. “Seriously, he’s so bright and electric on Sunday mornings; I thought he’d be the same one-on-one. I guess I was wrong.”

“I couldn’t get a read on what he thought about Judy’s mother,” noted Mr. Markham. “Just a total blank canvas, know what I mean?” The Markhams considered leaving R-North, but they love the satellite sermons and brand identity enough that they are willing to stay.

“We did think about trying one of the other 13 multi-site churches in this area. We want a church with a lead pastor whose charisma can’t be contained in a single building,” admitted Mr. Markham. “We even considered going to a church that wasn’t multi-site—but as I believe the Bible says, ‘forsake not the assembly of the screens.’”

Despite the disappointment, the Markhams aren’t giving up on their multi-site church’s head figure. The couple says they’ve asked the video screen to visit Mr. Markham’s bedridden great aunt later this week.

It is such an absurdity to speak of ‘multi- campus’ churches or ‘satellite’ congregations.  And it’s all done simply to puff up the pastor’s ego and the disinterest of the ‘members’ to do anything more than watch a big screen tv.  It isn’t Christianity.  It isn’t Church.  It is nonsense.

God hasten the day when these self-aggrandizing collectives die the death they so richly deserve.

Jim Bakker: Pentebabbleist Blasphemer

“The Jim Bakker Show” recently promoted a coin decorated with President Trump‘s face as a “point of contact” with God.

In a viral clip of the promotion, evangelical author Lance Wallnau described the $45 coin as a means for believers to establish a “point of contact” with God.

“When I asked the Lord ‘Why the coin?’ he said ‘Because when you take the coin, it’s a point of contact,’” Wallnau said in the clip, which was shared on Twitter by Right Wing Watch, which “monitors and exposes the activities of Radical Right political organizations.”

“So your faith is being released with a million other believers to pray protection and peace and wisdom and counsel over the president of the United States and over his family,” he added.

What vile blasphemy and idiotic pseudo-christianity.  Pentebabbleists… they really are profoundly theologically ignorant.

The Latest Essay From Biblical Archaeology Review

Scholars Now Believe The Last Supper Was Actually A Potluck

A coalition of scholars has announced that the Last Supper partaken of by Jesus and His disciples was actually a potluck.

While it was long thought that the supper was closer to a traditional Jewish Passover meal, evangelical scholars looking into the matter have determined that it was actually a bring-your-own-casserole event.

“It seems that Jesus and His disciples each agreed to bring a casserole, hot dish, or beverage,” Dr. Michael Svigel, Professor of Theological Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary said. “It’s clear that everyone brought really unhealthy, fatty foods to the event. The Messiah passed around a sign-up sheet prior to the supper to make sure that everyone brought something.”

The claim was bolstered by the discovery of several empty casserole dishes in the upper room, as well as a simmering Crock-Pot full of questionably cooked beef, still plugged in and simmering. Archaeologists also confirmed the discovery of a pot of watered-down coffee and a big jug of watery punch. The Apostle Peter brought a delicious tuna casserole, while James and John brought their famous “Sons of Thunder chili,” according to researchers.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Judas Iscariot snuck into the potluck without bringing anything, mumbling something about not seeing the announcement, though the event was clearly announced for weeks.

Oh wait a minute, that’s from the Babylon Bee, not BAR.  Oh well, pretty much the same thing these days anyway.

Garbage Theology

This isn’t Christianity, it’s gnosticism.

Megachurches and their Prosperity Pastors Deserve Each Other: Shepherd and Sheep are All Depraved

If they were Christians this wouldn’t happen

South Carolina Pastor John Gray asked his congregation to contribute $250,000 to fix the church’s roof.

That’s after he bought his wife a Lamborghini.

However this asks comes right after Gray was scrutinized for his lavish lifestyle. He gifted his wife a $200,000 Lamborghini Urus. “We didn’t take an easy assignment. If we wanted an easy assignment, we would start from scratch without millions of dollars in debt,” Gray said. “We took the assignment because we knew God has given us the right people to build with. I believe the best days of Relentless Church are in front of it.” “[Ron Carpenter] handed us keys. The keys were not to a paid off building, the keys were to an opportunity, an opportunity to continue the work,” Gray said. “Nothing you see is paid off. It wasn’t paid off when we got here.”

And then the most sickening bit:

“This is not a plea for money, it’s a plea for partnership so we can be what we’re supposed to be.”

What you’re supposed to be is in prison, scammer.

The Relentless Church pastor explained to his congregation that the church still had millions in debt after he took it over from former Pastor Ron Carpenter.

‘Relentless Church’. Tells you everything you need to know. ‘Took it over…’ It’s a fecking business franchise to these vermin.  They all deserve each other. If the members were Christians they wouldn’t attend the Church and if the Pastor was a Pastor he wouldn’t be fleecing the flock. They’re all there for the money. The pastor because he gets it, and the congregants because they want it.  Let them go down in flames.

If You Are Depending on a Heretic like Joyce Meyer to Guide You Through the Bible…

You’re insane.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

South Africa funeral firm to sue pastor for ‘resurrection stunt’

A group of funeral directors in South Africa say they will sue a self-styled prophet who claims to have resurrected a dead man.  A viral video of Pastor Alph Lukau shows him shouting “rise up” to a man laying down in a coffin who then jerks upright to cheers from worshippers.  The funeral companies say they were manipulated into being involved.  The spectacle, seen outside Pastor Lukau’s church in Johannesburg, has been ridiculed and condemned by many.

“There are no such things as miracles,” the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities (CRL Rights Commission) told South Africa’s national broadcaster. “They are made up to try to get money from the hopelessness of our people.”

Three funeral companies who say they were manipulated by the “scheme” are now taking legal action for damage to their reputation.  Kingdom Blue, Kings & Queens Funeral Services and Black Phoenix told local media that church representatives tricked them in different ways. “Alleged family members of the deceased” told the Kings & Queens Funeral Services they had had a “dispute with a different funeral service provider”.  The customers also allegedly placed “Black Phoenix stickers on their private car” to look credible to Kings & Queens Funeral Services when they went to hire a hearse from them.

Loons.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

The mother of a man killed in a ‘botched exorcism’ has denied she was trying to resurrect her son – and was instead just praying.

Kennedy Ife, 26, suffered a cardiac arrest after his family bound him with handcuffs, cable ties and rope at their home in Enfield, north London, in August 2016, it is claimed.  Rather than call 999 when he became unwell, father Kenneth, 64, mother Josephine, 56, and brothers Roy, 33, Harry, 32, Colin, 26, along with 20-year-old twins Daniel and Samuel allegedly tried to ‘cure’ him through prayer and restraint.  The court has heard Kennedy was ‘well and healthy’ before August 2016.

But in the days leading up to his death he had displayed increasingly alarming and aggressive behaviour, jurors were told. Giving evidence Mrs Ife described barricading her bedroom door when her son ‘charged’ at her, after allegedly threatening to chop off his own penis and harm another female relative. She said her husband and sons then bound Kennedy after he bit his father during a scuffle out in the hallway. But she added that any restraint was only for short intermittent periods while he posed a threat to himself or others.

The mother was described as ‘deeply religious’ by her own barrister, Caroline Carberry QC. Ms Carberry asked her: “Did you believe your son was possessed, as the prosecution allege, by an evil spirit? “Did you believe that that spirit could only be exorcised by the use of restraint?” Mrs Ife replied: “No, I didn’t believe in that.” The Old Bailey has heard that when police and paramedics were eventually called on 22 August officers watched as the relatives chanted, apparently attempting to ‘resurrect’ Kennedy.

This isn’t Christianity, it’s paganism.

Very Bad Theology

Because based upon imagination and the frenzies of spiritualistic enthusiasts rather than Scripture.

If you do this, don’t do this.  If you insist, then I insist you provide Scriptural warrant.   Which means Scripture correctly exegeted contextually.