Category Archives: Pentebabbleists

Jim Bakker: Pentebabbleist Blasphemer

“The Jim Bakker Show” recently promoted a coin decorated with President Trump‘s face as a “point of contact” with God.

In a viral clip of the promotion, evangelical author Lance Wallnau described the $45 coin as a means for believers to establish a “point of contact” with God.

“When I asked the Lord ‘Why the coin?’ he said ‘Because when you take the coin, it’s a point of contact,’” Wallnau said in the clip, which was shared on Twitter by Right Wing Watch, which “monitors and exposes the activities of Radical Right political organizations.”

“So your faith is being released with a million other believers to pray protection and peace and wisdom and counsel over the president of the United States and over his family,” he added.

What vile blasphemy and idiotic pseudo-christianity.  Pentebabbleists… they really are profoundly theologically ignorant.

The Latest Essay From Biblical Archaeology Review

Scholars Now Believe The Last Supper Was Actually A Potluck

A coalition of scholars has announced that the Last Supper partaken of by Jesus and His disciples was actually a potluck.

While it was long thought that the supper was closer to a traditional Jewish Passover meal, evangelical scholars looking into the matter have determined that it was actually a bring-your-own-casserole event.

“It seems that Jesus and His disciples each agreed to bring a casserole, hot dish, or beverage,” Dr. Michael Svigel, Professor of Theological Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary said. “It’s clear that everyone brought really unhealthy, fatty foods to the event. The Messiah passed around a sign-up sheet prior to the supper to make sure that everyone brought something.”

The claim was bolstered by the discovery of several empty casserole dishes in the upper room, as well as a simmering Crock-Pot full of questionably cooked beef, still plugged in and simmering. Archaeologists also confirmed the discovery of a pot of watered-down coffee and a big jug of watery punch. The Apostle Peter brought a delicious tuna casserole, while James and John brought their famous “Sons of Thunder chili,” according to researchers.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that Judas Iscariot snuck into the potluck without bringing anything, mumbling something about not seeing the announcement, though the event was clearly announced for weeks.

Oh wait a minute, that’s from the Babylon Bee, not BAR.  Oh well, pretty much the same thing these days anyway.

Garbage Theology

This isn’t Christianity, it’s gnosticism.

Megachurches and their Prosperity Pastors Deserve Each Other: Shepherd and Sheep are All Depraved

If they were Christians this wouldn’t happen

South Carolina Pastor John Gray asked his congregation to contribute $250,000 to fix the church’s roof.

That’s after he bought his wife a Lamborghini.

However this asks comes right after Gray was scrutinized for his lavish lifestyle. He gifted his wife a $200,000 Lamborghini Urus. “We didn’t take an easy assignment. If we wanted an easy assignment, we would start from scratch without millions of dollars in debt,” Gray said. “We took the assignment because we knew God has given us the right people to build with. I believe the best days of Relentless Church are in front of it.” “[Ron Carpenter] handed us keys. The keys were not to a paid off building, the keys were to an opportunity, an opportunity to continue the work,” Gray said. “Nothing you see is paid off. It wasn’t paid off when we got here.”

And then the most sickening bit:

“This is not a plea for money, it’s a plea for partnership so we can be what we’re supposed to be.”

What you’re supposed to be is in prison, scammer.

The Relentless Church pastor explained to his congregation that the church still had millions in debt after he took it over from former Pastor Ron Carpenter.

‘Relentless Church’. Tells you everything you need to know. ‘Took it over…’ It’s a fecking business franchise to these vermin.  They all deserve each other. If the members were Christians they wouldn’t attend the Church and if the Pastor was a Pastor he wouldn’t be fleecing the flock. They’re all there for the money. The pastor because he gets it, and the congregants because they want it.  Let them go down in flames.

If You Are Depending on a Heretic like Joyce Meyer to Guide You Through the Bible…

You’re insane.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

South Africa funeral firm to sue pastor for ‘resurrection stunt’

A group of funeral directors in South Africa say they will sue a self-styled prophet who claims to have resurrected a dead man.  A viral video of Pastor Alph Lukau shows him shouting “rise up” to a man laying down in a coffin who then jerks upright to cheers from worshippers.  The funeral companies say they were manipulated into being involved.  The spectacle, seen outside Pastor Lukau’s church in Johannesburg, has been ridiculed and condemned by many.

“There are no such things as miracles,” the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities (CRL Rights Commission) told South Africa’s national broadcaster. “They are made up to try to get money from the hopelessness of our people.”

Three funeral companies who say they were manipulated by the “scheme” are now taking legal action for damage to their reputation.  Kingdom Blue, Kings & Queens Funeral Services and Black Phoenix told local media that church representatives tricked them in different ways. “Alleged family members of the deceased” told the Kings & Queens Funeral Services they had had a “dispute with a different funeral service provider”.  The customers also allegedly placed “Black Phoenix stickers on their private car” to look credible to Kings & Queens Funeral Services when they went to hire a hearse from them.

Loons.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

The mother of a man killed in a ‘botched exorcism’ has denied she was trying to resurrect her son – and was instead just praying.

Kennedy Ife, 26, suffered a cardiac arrest after his family bound him with handcuffs, cable ties and rope at their home in Enfield, north London, in August 2016, it is claimed.  Rather than call 999 when he became unwell, father Kenneth, 64, mother Josephine, 56, and brothers Roy, 33, Harry, 32, Colin, 26, along with 20-year-old twins Daniel and Samuel allegedly tried to ‘cure’ him through prayer and restraint.  The court has heard Kennedy was ‘well and healthy’ before August 2016.

But in the days leading up to his death he had displayed increasingly alarming and aggressive behaviour, jurors were told. Giving evidence Mrs Ife described barricading her bedroom door when her son ‘charged’ at her, after allegedly threatening to chop off his own penis and harm another female relative. She said her husband and sons then bound Kennedy after he bit his father during a scuffle out in the hallway. But she added that any restraint was only for short intermittent periods while he posed a threat to himself or others.

The mother was described as ‘deeply religious’ by her own barrister, Caroline Carberry QC. Ms Carberry asked her: “Did you believe your son was possessed, as the prosecution allege, by an evil spirit? “Did you believe that that spirit could only be exorcised by the use of restraint?” Mrs Ife replied: “No, I didn’t believe in that.” The Old Bailey has heard that when police and paramedics were eventually called on 22 August officers watched as the relatives chanted, apparently attempting to ‘resurrect’ Kennedy.

This isn’t Christianity, it’s paganism.

Very Bad Theology

Because based upon imagination and the frenzies of spiritualistic enthusiasts rather than Scripture.

If you do this, don’t do this.  If you insist, then I insist you provide Scriptural warrant.   Which means Scripture correctly exegeted contextually.

This is Your Brain on Pentebabbleism….

‘Hope Dealer’ = Crap Peddler

She’s a Lutheran, right?  That or a Pentebabbleist.  Ugh.  What rubbish theology is afoot these days.  ‘Conquering Hell’?  Yeah good luck with that, sparky.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

Anne Graham Lotz Thinks Her Cancer is a Sign That Israel is In Danger….

No, really.  And no, you can’t make up this kind of pentebabbleist nutbaggery.

Anne Graham Lotz has suggested there might be a deep significance attached to her battle against breast cancer, as it could be a warning sign that Israel is in danger of suffering a fatal attack. Lotz reasoned on her website Wednesday that she has long thought of herself and the modern state of Israel as “entwined,” given that both are 70 years old, with the latter having been established in 1948. The evangelist and author said she’s questioning whether “there is more to my cancer at the age of 70 than just a random coincidence.”  “In the Bible, God often had His spokespersons live out the message He gave them …before they delivered the message to the people,” she said.

Got news for ya, Anne, you aren’t Hosea or Ezekiel or Isaiah or any sort of prophet except perhaps a false one.

More Pentebabbleist Brain Dead Lunacy

Today, SkyWatch TV posted a program in which End Times author and SkyWatch TV CEO Tom Horn suggested that Hillary Clinton is the “Whore of Babylon” who was conceived during a ritual carried out in 1946 by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Horn claimed that stolen emails posted by Wikileaks revealed that Clinton had filled her 2016 presidential campaign with “occultists” who believe her to be the biblical Whore of Babylon who will usher in the Antichrist.

Citing a ritual that took place in 1946 called “The Babylon Working” in which Hubbard and others allegedly attempted to conceive a goddess through “ritual sex magic,” Horn claimed that Clinton may have been the result of that effort “to bring through, into our reality, the archetype divine feminine, the Whore of Babylon.”

“She’ll grow up, she’ll become an influential worldwide-known feminist who will help give rise to the Antichrist,” Horn said. “They believed that that was Hillary Clinton.”

You Pentebabbleists are lunatics.  Brain dead lunatics.  You have zero exegetical skill and zero theological knowledge.  You are the dilettantes of the dilettantes.

Pentebabbleists Are Unhinged Nutbags

Erm….  You guys are an idiot sandwich.

They Aren’t ‘Bible Scholars’ so Please Don’t Refer to Them As Such

They are dilettantes of the most dilettantish sort.  That’s what they should be called.  So I will.  And here’s their award, and yours, Mr Butters, for calling them scholars in the first place.

‘Congrats’.  I haven’t given out a Dilly in a while- but you certainly deserve it Mr Butters and company.

More Evidence that ‘Evangelicals’ Are Anything But Christians

The Family Federation for a Heavenly USA (aka the Unification Church) has added worship artist Israel Houghton to the lineup of high profile Christians who will help evangelize New Yorkers for self-described True Mother and the only begotten daughter of God, Hak Ja Han Moon.

Let me simplify- Evangelicals are supporting the Moonies who are teaching that Jesus was a failure and that the Daughter of God, Ms Moon, is the true path of salvation.

These Evangelicals are not Christians. Period. Full stop.

Houghton joins Hezekiah Walker, Yolanda Adams and Bishop Noel Jones as self-proclaimed Christian performers/speakers at an event which Moon’s followers hope will help establish her as a mainstream religious figure. She and her followers claim that Jesus failed in his mission by being crucified. In the modern era, her husband was the fulfillment of the Messianic promises and she is the daughter of God and only through she and her husband — True Parents — is their hope for reunion with God.

They are not Christians, these Evangelicals.

John Hagee Is No Christian, He is A False Teacher and Heretic

Rodney Howard-Browne: Pentebabbleist ‘Pastor’ With Murder on His Mind

On Monday, right-wing pastor and radical conspiracy theorist Rodney Howard-Browne guest-hosted “The Alex Jones Show” on InfoWars, during which he asserted that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg should be shot for treason. Howard-Browne, who laid hands upon and prayed over President Trump in the Oval Office last year, was interviewing right-wing activist and commentator KrisAnne Hall, when he attacked Gingsburg for daring to suggest, back in 2012, that Egypt should “look at the Constitution of South Africa” when drafting a new constitution, rather than the U.S Constitution.

“If you hear Bader Ginsburg talk, she talks about the Constitution of America being totally flawed,” Howard-Browne complained. After Hall recounted Ginsburg’s 2012 statement, Howard-Browne asserted that Ginsburg should have been removed from office because “that was high treason.” “She should have been impeached, immediately,” Hall agreed. “I’d have them shot,” Howard-Brown replied. “To me, that’s a total violation, because how do you pledge to defend the Constitution when you are totally throwing it under the bus?”

Once again we have evidence, from their own mouths, that pentebabbleists are anything but Christian.

Pat Robertson is Not a Christian: Exhibit 4048

In another example demonstrating that Pat Robertson believes in persecuting non-Christians and indoctrinating children, the televangelist openly suggested that parents should beat their kids until they respect Christian beliefs.

During yet another shameful episode of the 700 Club, which runs on Disney-owned channel ABC Family, Robertson received an email from a woman who claimed that her grandson disrespects their Christian faith when they visit their daughter on Christmas and chose not to visit this past year.

“We declined going to our daughter’s house on Christmas this year because there is always an argument, hard feelings etc.,” viewer Karen wrote.

“One grandchild comes high on marijuana, cursing and challenging our faith. I correct him and have told my daughter to ask him to respect our beliefs, but he keeps it up. Our daughter says she is a Christian but will drink too much and offend her daughter and her husband. Were we wrong to not to attend another Christmas that leaves us upset or someone angry? I have shared my beliefs many times with them and am ridiculed by this grandson and son-in-law.”

Robertson’s immediate solution? Beat the child until he respects Christianity.

“Somebody take that kid to the woodshed and let him understand the blessings of discipline,” Robertson advised before predicting that the kid would end up in prison if a strong male figure didn’t start beating him right away.

“He needs a strong male figure. He’s going to wind up in a correctional institution, and the next thing you know, he’s going to be doing hard time in some prison. And then he would wish he wasn’t such a smart, you know, wise guy. Because he’ll be disciplined in a way that he’ll never forget in some prison… He needs discipline in the worst possible way.”

Robertson is not a Christian.  Nothing he says is Scriptural.  He is a deceiver, a liar, and a false teacher.  Those who support him support evil and his tv station is a tool of evil.

This is yet more evidence that Robertson is no Christian and pentebabbleists aren’t either.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: Hurricane Michael Was Caused By Democrats in Retaliation for Kavanaugh

You can’t make this nonsense up.

One of my greatest sources of unintentional comedy is Mark Taylor, otherwise known as the “Firefighter Prophet.” Among his bizarre prophecies and conspiracy theories is a recurring theme: that Democrats (and former President Obama) are using weather control technology to obstruct President Trump’s agenda.

Earlier this month, Taylor claimed Hurricane Florence was created by liberals to cover up mass voter fraud in North Carolina. In June, he said liberals were planning to create hurricanes to suppress the midterm election turn out. Now, he’s saying that Hurricane Michael, which is currently bearing down on Florida, was artificially created by “scared” anti-Trump forces in “retaliation” for Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court.

“Does anyone else think it’s strange that Justice K is sworn in and we have a major hurricane inbound?” Taylor tweeted this Tuesday. “DS scared? They should be. Retaliation? Absolutely. We will not be intimidated! Warriors arise, time to go to work! You know what to do.”

Pentebabbleists shouldn’t be allowed within 500 miles of the Bible and 10,000 miles of theology.  They can’t understand Scripture and they don’t know what theology is.