Category Archives: Pentebabbleists

If You Are Depending on a Heretic like Joyce Meyer to Guide You Through the Bible…

You’re insane.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

Saving California and America from ‘Occult Empowered Activists,’ Socialism and the Devil

Lance Wallnau, a “prophetic” self-promoter who declared before the 2016 election that Donald Trump had been anointed as “God’s Chaos Candidate,” told his Facebook followers on Wednesday that God is setting “true qualified seekers of God” apart for special work.

This work is not about the call to ministry, he said. Wallnau cited a verse from the biblical book of Acts in which he said Saul and Barnabas were given a special assignment that “was going to start off with a divine appointment with a politician and a divine confrontation with a witch. The politician got insight and the witch lost eyesight.”

Wallnau made his comments in response to a March 4 column by evangelist Mario Murillo, who wrote that the Holy Spirit is separating out a group of Christians: “He has selected them for special grace and power to accomplish mighty acts at the edge of history.”

Two days later, Murillo wrote that he is battling ancient and malevolent dark forces of hell that he says have been gathering to wage spiritual warfare against his upcoming tent crusade in California that is “the beginning of our invasion of California along the highway 99 corridor.” He wrote, “I have watched normal people turn into beasts simply because we told them we are coming.”

More.  These people are nuts.  Just absolute nutjobs.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

South Africa funeral firm to sue pastor for ‘resurrection stunt’

A group of funeral directors in South Africa say they will sue a self-styled prophet who claims to have resurrected a dead man.  A viral video of Pastor Alph Lukau shows him shouting “rise up” to a man laying down in a coffin who then jerks upright to cheers from worshippers.  The funeral companies say they were manipulated into being involved.  The spectacle, seen outside Pastor Lukau’s church in Johannesburg, has been ridiculed and condemned by many.

“There are no such things as miracles,” the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities (CRL Rights Commission) told South Africa’s national broadcaster. “They are made up to try to get money from the hopelessness of our people.”

Three funeral companies who say they were manipulated by the “scheme” are now taking legal action for damage to their reputation.  Kingdom Blue, Kings & Queens Funeral Services and Black Phoenix told local media that church representatives tricked them in different ways. “Alleged family members of the deceased” told the Kings & Queens Funeral Services they had had a “dispute with a different funeral service provider”.  The customers also allegedly placed “Black Phoenix stickers on their private car” to look credible to Kings & Queens Funeral Services when they went to hire a hearse from them.

Loons.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

The mother of a man killed in a ‘botched exorcism’ has denied she was trying to resurrect her son – and was instead just praying.

Kennedy Ife, 26, suffered a cardiac arrest after his family bound him with handcuffs, cable ties and rope at their home in Enfield, north London, in August 2016, it is claimed.  Rather than call 999 when he became unwell, father Kenneth, 64, mother Josephine, 56, and brothers Roy, 33, Harry, 32, Colin, 26, along with 20-year-old twins Daniel and Samuel allegedly tried to ‘cure’ him through prayer and restraint.  The court has heard Kennedy was ‘well and healthy’ before August 2016.

But in the days leading up to his death he had displayed increasingly alarming and aggressive behaviour, jurors were told. Giving evidence Mrs Ife described barricading her bedroom door when her son ‘charged’ at her, after allegedly threatening to chop off his own penis and harm another female relative. She said her husband and sons then bound Kennedy after he bit his father during a scuffle out in the hallway. But she added that any restraint was only for short intermittent periods while he posed a threat to himself or others.

The mother was described as ‘deeply religious’ by her own barrister, Caroline Carberry QC. Ms Carberry asked her: “Did you believe your son was possessed, as the prosecution allege, by an evil spirit? “Did you believe that that spirit could only be exorcised by the use of restraint?” Mrs Ife replied: “No, I didn’t believe in that.” The Old Bailey has heard that when police and paramedics were eventually called on 22 August officers watched as the relatives chanted, apparently attempting to ‘resurrect’ Kennedy.

This isn’t Christianity, it’s paganism.

Very Bad Theology

Because based upon imagination and the frenzies of spiritualistic enthusiasts rather than Scripture.

If you do this, don’t do this.  If you insist, then I insist you provide Scriptural warrant.   Which means Scripture correctly exegeted contextually.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

On Tuesday’s episode of “The Hagmann Report,” right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle engaged in some esoteric biblical exegesis in order to declare that Jared Kusher, the son-in law of and senior adviser to President Trump, is “absolutely the prime candidate” to be the Antichrist.

“The other night, I just heard this in my spirit,” Quayle said. “Here’s what dropped into my spirit, I’ve never thought of this in my life so all I can say is something is going on here, that Jared [in the Bible] was the patriarch, the second oldest man in the Old Testament, when the fallen angels fell on Mount Hermon—that’s in the Book of Enoch, chapter six, and it’s also in Jubilees, it’s referred to.”

“Now, what’s important is that Enoch was the seventh from Adam and so what we’re seeing here is we’ve got some unusual things,” he continued. “We’ve got the seventh from Adam—and I believe Enoch is one of the two witnesses and this has everything to do with what we’re talking about—that Jared Kusher, the man of peace behind the scenes, is absolutely the prime candidate, I believe, for the A.C., the Antichrist.”

“Here’s why,” Quayle said. “The spirit, in my opinion, the Bible talks specifically of Antichrist, the literal devil, entering into him, just like he did Judas Iscariot. But what’s even more important, Jared Kushner’s address is 666 5th Avenue … If you take New York, and I do, as the commercial center of commercial Babylon, then what you’ve got is you’ve got someone whose name links with the time of the fallen angels—and it’s my position that the earthly kings, so many of them are fallen angels, if you will, in human drag, that’s really the only way I know how to say it—and the thing that is really critical is that it’s imperative that people understand that there’s a lot in a name. Because the name Jared, and that’s what’s interesting, means ‘descent’ or ‘descendant.’”

Etc.

Here’s your Dilly.  Now never speak about the Bible again.  Ever.

This is Your Brain on Pentebabbleism….

‘Hope Dealer’ = Crap Peddler

She’s a Lutheran, right?  That or a Pentebabbleist.  Ugh.  What rubbish theology is afoot these days.  ‘Conquering Hell’?  Yeah good luck with that, sparky.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

Anne Graham Lotz Thinks Her Cancer is a Sign That Israel is In Danger….

No, really.  And no, you can’t make up this kind of pentebabbleist nutbaggery.

Anne Graham Lotz has suggested there might be a deep significance attached to her battle against breast cancer, as it could be a warning sign that Israel is in danger of suffering a fatal attack. Lotz reasoned on her website Wednesday that she has long thought of herself and the modern state of Israel as “entwined,” given that both are 70 years old, with the latter having been established in 1948. The evangelist and author said she’s questioning whether “there is more to my cancer at the age of 70 than just a random coincidence.”  “In the Bible, God often had His spokespersons live out the message He gave them …before they delivered the message to the people,” she said.

Got news for ya, Anne, you aren’t Hosea or Ezekiel or Isaiah or any sort of prophet except perhaps a false one.

More Pentebabbleist Brain Dead Lunacy

Today, SkyWatch TV posted a program in which End Times author and SkyWatch TV CEO Tom Horn suggested that Hillary Clinton is the “Whore of Babylon” who was conceived during a ritual carried out in 1946 by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

Horn claimed that stolen emails posted by Wikileaks revealed that Clinton had filled her 2016 presidential campaign with “occultists” who believe her to be the biblical Whore of Babylon who will usher in the Antichrist.

Citing a ritual that took place in 1946 called “The Babylon Working” in which Hubbard and others allegedly attempted to conceive a goddess through “ritual sex magic,” Horn claimed that Clinton may have been the result of that effort “to bring through, into our reality, the archetype divine feminine, the Whore of Babylon.”

“She’ll grow up, she’ll become an influential worldwide-known feminist who will help give rise to the Antichrist,” Horn said. “They believed that that was Hillary Clinton.”

You Pentebabbleists are lunatics.  Brain dead lunatics.  You have zero exegetical skill and zero theological knowledge.  You are the dilettantes of the dilettantes.

Pentebabbleists Are Unhinged Nutbags

Erm….  You guys are an idiot sandwich.

They Aren’t ‘Bible Scholars’ so Please Don’t Refer to Them As Such

They are dilettantes of the most dilettantish sort.  That’s what they should be called.  So I will.  And here’s their award, and yours, Mr Butters, for calling them scholars in the first place.

‘Congrats’.  I haven’t given out a Dilly in a while- but you certainly deserve it Mr Butters and company.

More Evidence that ‘Evangelicals’ Are Anything But Christians

The Family Federation for a Heavenly USA (aka the Unification Church) has added worship artist Israel Houghton to the lineup of high profile Christians who will help evangelize New Yorkers for self-described True Mother and the only begotten daughter of God, Hak Ja Han Moon.

Let me simplify- Evangelicals are supporting the Moonies who are teaching that Jesus was a failure and that the Daughter of God, Ms Moon, is the true path of salvation.

These Evangelicals are not Christians. Period. Full stop.

Houghton joins Hezekiah Walker, Yolanda Adams and Bishop Noel Jones as self-proclaimed Christian performers/speakers at an event which Moon’s followers hope will help establish her as a mainstream religious figure. She and her followers claim that Jesus failed in his mission by being crucified. In the modern era, her husband was the fulfillment of the Messianic promises and she is the daughter of God and only through she and her husband — True Parents — is their hope for reunion with God.

They are not Christians, these Evangelicals.

John Hagee Is No Christian, He is A False Teacher and Heretic

Rodney Howard-Browne: Pentebabbleist ‘Pastor’ With Murder on His Mind

On Monday, right-wing pastor and radical conspiracy theorist Rodney Howard-Browne guest-hosted “The Alex Jones Show” on InfoWars, during which he asserted that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg should be shot for treason. Howard-Browne, who laid hands upon and prayed over President Trump in the Oval Office last year, was interviewing right-wing activist and commentator KrisAnne Hall, when he attacked Gingsburg for daring to suggest, back in 2012, that Egypt should “look at the Constitution of South Africa” when drafting a new constitution, rather than the U.S Constitution.

“If you hear Bader Ginsburg talk, she talks about the Constitution of America being totally flawed,” Howard-Browne complained. After Hall recounted Ginsburg’s 2012 statement, Howard-Browne asserted that Ginsburg should have been removed from office because “that was high treason.” “She should have been impeached, immediately,” Hall agreed. “I’d have them shot,” Howard-Brown replied. “To me, that’s a total violation, because how do you pledge to defend the Constitution when you are totally throwing it under the bus?”

Once again we have evidence, from their own mouths, that pentebabbleists are anything but Christian.

Pat Robertson is Not a Christian: Exhibit 4048

In another example demonstrating that Pat Robertson believes in persecuting non-Christians and indoctrinating children, the televangelist openly suggested that parents should beat their kids until they respect Christian beliefs.

During yet another shameful episode of the 700 Club, which runs on Disney-owned channel ABC Family, Robertson received an email from a woman who claimed that her grandson disrespects their Christian faith when they visit their daughter on Christmas and chose not to visit this past year.

“We declined going to our daughter’s house on Christmas this year because there is always an argument, hard feelings etc.,” viewer Karen wrote.

“One grandchild comes high on marijuana, cursing and challenging our faith. I correct him and have told my daughter to ask him to respect our beliefs, but he keeps it up. Our daughter says she is a Christian but will drink too much and offend her daughter and her husband. Were we wrong to not to attend another Christmas that leaves us upset or someone angry? I have shared my beliefs many times with them and am ridiculed by this grandson and son-in-law.”

Robertson’s immediate solution? Beat the child until he respects Christianity.

“Somebody take that kid to the woodshed and let him understand the blessings of discipline,” Robertson advised before predicting that the kid would end up in prison if a strong male figure didn’t start beating him right away.

“He needs a strong male figure. He’s going to wind up in a correctional institution, and the next thing you know, he’s going to be doing hard time in some prison. And then he would wish he wasn’t such a smart, you know, wise guy. Because he’ll be disciplined in a way that he’ll never forget in some prison… He needs discipline in the worst possible way.”

Robertson is not a Christian.  Nothing he says is Scriptural.  He is a deceiver, a liar, and a false teacher.  Those who support him support evil and his tv station is a tool of evil.

This is yet more evidence that Robertson is no Christian and pentebabbleists aren’t either.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: Hurricane Michael Was Caused By Democrats in Retaliation for Kavanaugh

You can’t make this nonsense up.

One of my greatest sources of unintentional comedy is Mark Taylor, otherwise known as the “Firefighter Prophet.” Among his bizarre prophecies and conspiracy theories is a recurring theme: that Democrats (and former President Obama) are using weather control technology to obstruct President Trump’s agenda.

Earlier this month, Taylor claimed Hurricane Florence was created by liberals to cover up mass voter fraud in North Carolina. In June, he said liberals were planning to create hurricanes to suppress the midterm election turn out. Now, he’s saying that Hurricane Michael, which is currently bearing down on Florida, was artificially created by “scared” anti-Trump forces in “retaliation” for Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court.

“Does anyone else think it’s strange that Justice K is sworn in and we have a major hurricane inbound?” Taylor tweeted this Tuesday. “DS scared? They should be. Retaliation? Absolutely. We will not be intimidated! Warriors arise, time to go to work! You know what to do.”

Pentebabbleists shouldn’t be allowed within 500 miles of the Bible and 10,000 miles of theology.  They can’t understand Scripture and they don’t know what theology is.

This Is How The Prosperity Gospel Heretics Do It

‘winners chapel international’?  Good lord, why not just name it ‘prosperity gospel heretics international’.  At least that would be the truth.

And why does Texas have so many of these nutbag pentebabbleist prosperity lunatics?  Is it the heat?

Australian Pentebabbleists are Unhinged Too…

Pentecostal leaders have warned their congregation that “darkness” will spread across Australia and Christians will be persecuted if Scott Morrison does not win the next election.

Others have been told that Morrison’s rise to power was a “miracle of God” that answered three days of prayer and fasting. They have been told that Morrison has made a public stand for Christian freedoms, and has promised to keep doing so, so God intervened to ensure he beat the home affairs minister, Peter Dutton, in the Liberal leadership spill.

Videos posted to YouTube show how Pentecostal and evangelical religious communities are reacting to the rise of Morrison as prime minister.

Last Sunday, pastor Adam F Thompson from Voice of Fire Ministries and Adrian Beale from Everrest Ministries told a congregation of Hope City Church that Morrison’s elevation to power was divinely inspired.

Thompson, who says he can interpret dreams and that supernatural signs and manifestations accompany his ministry, said he’d received a message from God that Morrison and the Coalition must win the election.

“The Lord woke me up at 4.30am this morning,” Thompson told the Hope City Church congregation on Sunday, in a video he asked to be recorded.

“Scott Morrison, he’s a born-again Christian, he’s probably one of the first ever born-again prime ministers, but it’s not time to celebrate at the moment.

“This is a crucial time right now … In the next six months it’s time for the body of Christ [the Christian church] to put its differences aside … and come together and agree that Jesus is the Messiah and start praying together and calling it in and praying for our prime minister right now, and for our government.

Lunatics.  Unmoored, unhinged, unscriptural, unchristian lunatics.  The only thing worse than a Pentebabbleist is…. well, no, there is nothing.  The get it all wrong.  Every doctrine.  All of them.