The Missouri Pastor Who Denigrates his Congregation Because They Won’t Buy Him a Watch…

A Kansas City, Missouri, pastor who said his congregation was “poor, broke busted and disgusted” for not buying him the luxury watch he wanted has issued an apology after his remarks caused a stir on social media.

Carlton Funderburke, the senior pastor at Church at the Well, issued an apology video Tuesday for the “inexcusable” remarks he made during an Aug. 7 sermon.

‘The Well’…  *Eyeroll*.

In a video clip posted on TikTok of Funderburke’s sermon, the pastor berates his church members for not “honoring” him with a Movado watch.

“This is how I know you’re still poor, broke, busted and disgusted, because of how you been honoring me. I’m not worth your McDonald’s money? I’m not worth your Red Lobster money? I ain’t worth your St. John Knits — y’all can’t afford no how. I ain’t worth y’all Louis Vuitton? I ain’t worth your Prada? I’m not worth your Gucci?” he said in the nearly minute-long clip.

At one point, Funderburke tells the congregation that a Movado watch can be purchased at Sam’s Club.

“And y’all know I asked for one last year. Here it is all the way in August and I still ain’t got it,” he said. “Y’all ain’t said nothing. Let me kick down the door and talk to my cheap sons and daughters.”

This guy has zero business being a pastor.  And he’s awful at English.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: God Is Mad at the FBI For Pursuing Stolen Documents

During a recent livestream, die-hard Trump supporter, conspiracy theorist, and self-proclaimed “prophetess” Kat Kerr claimed that she knows “covert stuff,” especially in regards to the recent raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort by FBI.

“If you go back to November 4, 2020, a lot was said on that day, you know … when the election was stolen — we’re not gonna stop saying either,” Kerr said.

According to Kerr, eventually the “regular news networks” will confirm her claim that the 2020 election was stolen. “So all I can say is, get ready for that to happen.”

“And guess what — Trump’s still getting his four years, people,” she continued. “And he don’t have to run to get it, I’ll just add that because that’s then truth. “If I had something stolen, then it goes to the person who won originally.”

Etc. with more nutbaggery.   Kat Kerr- a woman who should keep silent in (and out of) the Church.

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

Roger Stone says the “satanic, demonic portal” is still above the WH because he checks on it every couple of days. He says his prophet and spiritual advisor told him God wants him to continue to warn people about it, and “it’s like a swirling cauldron.”

And who is his ‘spiritual advisor’? Pentebabbleist ‘prophet’ Robin Bullock.

It’s just more Pentebabbleist nutbaggery.

Pentebabbleism isn’t Just Heretical, It’s Deadly

Two men are now charged in a 3-year-old girl’s alleged “exorcism” death. Authorities in San Jose, California say that the child’s grandfather Rene Trigueros Hernandez, 59, and uncle Rene Hernandez-Santos, 19, joined mother Claudia Hernandez-Santos, 25, in fatally abusing young Arely Naomi Proctor.

“Around 7:00 p.m., Defendant 2 [the uncle] knelt down beside the victim who was lying on the floor, and he placed one hand on the victim’s chest and one hand on her back,” a statement of facts says. “He applied pressure to the victim and maintained pressure for approximately 10 minutes. He stated the victim was alive at the beginning of this and he closed his eyes to pray. Upon opening his eyes, he believed the victim had died. They continued to pray and did not perform any lifesaving measures for the victim.”

Claudia, the mother, was charged back in January with felony child abuse causing death. Her brother and father were only recently arrested, with police saying they took the men into custody on Wednesday on the very same charge.

As previously alleged, Claudia took the child to the grandfather’s San Jose church on the morning of Sept. 24, believing the girl to be possessed by a demon. The grandfather confirmed to Mercury News in a report earlier this week that they intended to “liberate her of her evil spirits” but denied that she died by his own hands.

“If you read the Bible, you’ll see that Jesus casts away demons and made sick people healthy again,” said the grandfather, identified in the article as Rene Huezo, pastor of Iglesia Apostoles y Profetas. “It’s not when I want to do it, it’s when God, in his will, wants to heal the person. The preacher is like an instrument of God. What we do is what God says.”

Untrained readers of the Bible are a hazard to the public.

Don’t Get Your Eschatology from Pentebabbleists: The ‘Russia is Gog’ Lunacy

Is Russia a Key End-Times Player?

Most Bible experts carefully discuss these issues and are cautious not to overstate or definitively make proclamations about nations and events, though viable theories have emerged that are worth exploring.

Author Joel Rosenberg has been among those who have vocally explored Old Testament prophecies about the biblical end of days, discussing Russia’s potential placement in the mix. He published a blog post a few years ago in which he discussed world events as they pertain to the writings of Ezekiel, a biblical prophet.

“The Hebrew prophet Ezekiel wrote 2,500 years ago that in the ‘last days of history, Russia and Iran will form a military alliance to attack Israel from the north,” Rosenberg wrote. “Bible scholars refer to this eschatological conflict, described in Ezekiel 38–39, as the ‘War of Gog & Magog.'”

Etc.  Lunacy.  None of it is exegetically or theologically correct.  NONE OF IT.  Don’t get your eschatology from dilettantes.

Sorry Kids, Russia Isn’t In the Bible, nor is Ukraine, nor is America

And these aren’t the ‘end times’ and there are no ‘biblical prophecies’ which aim at this moment.

Is our world on the brink of war? That seems to be the question on everyone’s mind as news reports of the Russia-Ukraine tensions pour in. Pastor Jack Hibbs of Calvary Chapel Chino Hills, California, and Amir Tsarfati of Behold Israel agree that the world is moving to “a very dark place”—one that could explode into World War III. But the two agree on something even more important: In this hour, believers must pay more attention than ever to biblical prophecy.

Ugh.  Stop it.

Greg Locke Thinks There are Six Witches in His ‘Church’…

And he’s going to ‘expose’ them.  But what do you want to bet that there are six people in his church who know about some fraud he has committed or abuse he has perpetrated and he is trying to pre-emptively discredit them?

This is a good time to remember that Greg Locke is a false teacher, a heretic, and a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

No One is a ‘Global Pastor’, But What Hubris to Claim Such a Title

Hillsong’s Brian Houston Steps Down as Global Senior Pastor

What’s the first indicator that you’re in a cult?  Your leader thinks his power is universal.

Hillsong founder Brian Houston announced that he will be stepping down from his role as the megachurch’s global senior pastor so he can fight charges that he concealed sexual abuse crimes committed by his father.


More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: The Mike Todd Edition

So ‘Pastor’ Todd spit in his hand, and then rubbed it in a guy’s face…  Bro, you aren’t Jesus.  You aren’t healing anyone.  You’re just being gross.

This is the behavior of a cult leader.

A Tulsa pastor is stirring controversy after he was seen wiping spit on a man’s face during his sermon Sunday.  Pastor Mike Todd of Transformation Church made some people in the crowd and online uneasy during the demonstration as he wiped spit onto the face of another parishioner to show that “receiving God’s vision can sometimes be nasty.” After the move, a gasp from people in attendance could be heard. NewsChannel 8 has reached out to the church, but they say they have no comments at this time.

Stop attending cults.

What? Joel Osteen Has Cash Stashed in His ‘Church’? Well Slap My Face and Call Me Timmy

Who could have ever imagined a lying grifter would have back up cash stashed in case he needed to get quick out of Dodge…

You may remember hundreds of thousands of dollars that were stolen from a safe at Lakewood Church. It was a big headline back in 2014. Now, all these years later, another bombshell has dropped. A plumber says he found money in a wall while he was doing work at the church on Nov. 10, 2021. The news came to light during the radio morning show at 100.3 The Bull. “It was just unbelievable!” Morning Show Host for the Morning Bullpen George Lindsey said. “The things he was telling us that they found in the walls.”

Lindsey was shocked when he listened to viewers Thursday morning, but says this one caller really took the segment over the edge. “There was a loose toilet in the wall, and we removed the tile,” the caller said. “We went to go remove the toilet, and I moved some insulation away and about 500 envelopes fell out of the wall, and I was like ‘Oh wow!’” The caller said the envelopes were full of cash and checks. “I went ahead and contacted the maintenance supervisor that was there, and I turned it all in,” he added.

Lindsey couldn’t believe what he had just heard.  “We were like, ‘What are you talking about?’” Lindsey said. “So, then he relayed to us that in 2014 there was a big story about money being stolen from Lakewood Church that they never recovered.”

‘Stolen’… yeah right…