Zwinglius Redivivus

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Archive for the ‘Pentebabbleism’ Category

What Damnable Heresy

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This is not how baptism works.

‘Streamline’ ‘church’ has streamlined baptism to a base farce and is no church.

Written by Jim

18 Sep 2018 at 8:25 am

This Is How The Prosperity Gospel Heretics Do It

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‘winners chapel international’?  Good lord, why not just name it ‘prosperity gospel heretics international’.  At least that would be the truth.

And why does Texas have so many of these nutbag pentebabbleist prosperity lunatics?  Is it the heat?

Written by Jim

17 Sep 2018 at 1:29 pm

Australian Pentebabbleists are Unhinged Too…

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Pentecostal leaders have warned their congregation that “darkness” will spread across Australia and Christians will be persecuted if Scott Morrison does not win the next election.

Others have been told that Morrison’s rise to power was a “miracle of God” that answered three days of prayer and fasting. They have been told that Morrison has made a public stand for Christian freedoms, and has promised to keep doing so, so God intervened to ensure he beat the home affairs minister, Peter Dutton, in the Liberal leadership spill.

Videos posted to YouTube show how Pentecostal and evangelical religious communities are reacting to the rise of Morrison as prime minister.

Last Sunday, pastor Adam F Thompson from Voice of Fire Ministries and Adrian Beale from Everrest Ministries told a congregation of Hope City Church that Morrison’s elevation to power was divinely inspired.

Thompson, who says he can interpret dreams and that supernatural signs and manifestations accompany his ministry, said he’d received a message from God that Morrison and the Coalition must win the election.

“The Lord woke me up at 4.30am this morning,” Thompson told the Hope City Church congregation on Sunday, in a video he asked to be recorded.

“Scott Morrison, he’s a born-again Christian, he’s probably one of the first ever born-again prime ministers, but it’s not time to celebrate at the moment.

“This is a crucial time right now … In the next six months it’s time for the body of Christ [the Christian church] to put its differences aside … and come together and agree that Jesus is the Messiah and start praying together and calling it in and praying for our prime minister right now, and for our government.

Lunatics.  Unmoored, unhinged, unscriptural, unchristian lunatics.  The only thing worse than a Pentebabbleist is…. well, no, there is nothing.  The get it all wrong.  Every doctrine.  All of them.

Written by Jim

13 Sep 2018 at 4:44 pm

Today’s GOP- Ex-South Carolina GOP leader sacrifices family dog after claiming to receive command from God

A former leader of the South Carolina Republican Party faces animal cruelty charges after he allegedly killed his mother’s dog, claiming he is “the second coming of Christ” and God needed the “sacrifice.”

Police officers found Todd Kincannon in his underwear, bloodied and covered in dog hair on July 26 on the front steps of his parents’ home in Simpsonville, S.C., according to multiple reports. The officers were responding to an early-morning 911 phone call placed by his father. Kincannon’s father told police Kincannon’s mother had locked herself in their bathroom fearing of her life.

“The reason I killed the dog is this, it’s real simple … I’m sorry, I think ya’ll [sic] are going to have to take me to the Psych Institution, I get that,” Kincannon told officers, according to their police report, per the Washington Post. “But I’ll tell you from a legal standpoint you know, it’s in the State Constitution that God is sovereign and I honestly think he told me to do it.”

They later found the dog “choked, stabbed, and mutilated” in the family’s kitchen, NBC News reported. Kincannon, 37, had been living with his parents at the time of the incident.

News flash- nutbags-  God doesn’t command such things.  I bet Mr GOP attends a Pentebabbleist church.

Written by Jim

6 Aug 2018 at 11:46 am

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: ‘Prophet’ Sundar Selvaraj: Christians Who Refuse To Support Trump Have ‘The Spirit Of The Antichrist’

It’s the supporters of Trump who are anti-Christ.  So the pentebabbleist has it just backwards.  But there’s nothing surprising about that, given that they are not tethered to reality or grounded in Scripture.

On his television program last week, End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker led his audience in prayer for the protection of President Trump, who is supposedly under attack from the Antichrist spirit as he carries out God’s work of restoring righteousness to the world.

Bakker asked his guest, so-called “prophet” Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj, why some Christians still refuse to support Trump. Selvaraj replied that such people are not really Christians at all, but are actually tools of the devil..

“They appear like a sheep among the sheepfold, among Christianity, but they are not of God,” Selvaraj said. “It’s the devil who has planted them, so they have the spirit of what the Apostle John calls the spirit of the Antichrist in them. So it is they who stir up the people and stir up the hornet’s nest against a righteous king, a righteous man, so that either he is moved out of office or so discouraged that he cannot stand up for righteousness that he will end up compromising.”

Bakker then led his audience in prayer that God will protect Trump, end abortion, and save America.

When the prayer was over, Selvaraj added that Christians should also pray for Trump when he travels oversees carrying out God’s mission of spreading righteousness.

“Because he’s God’s chosen righteousness man,” Selvaraj said, “God will use him to effect righteousness on other world leaders and turn other nations around to righteousness.”

These people are mentally ill.  And godless.

Written by Jim

1 Aug 2018 at 9:06 pm

How Come the False Prophet Jim Bakker Hasn’t Been Punished As A False Prophet?

He has lied, and lied, and lied, and yet he still fleeces the sheep and none of them hold him accountable.  Pentebabbleists… always unmoored from Scripture and reaping the consequences in unhinged falsehoods.

End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker warned on his television program last week that God had told him that the time is rapidly approaching when Christian leaders in America will be murdered by left-wing activists.

Bakker was discussing the chaos and controversy surrounding a movie about Roe v. Wade that is being made by and stars right-wing activists—including cameos by Milo Yiannopoulos and Tomi Lahren—when he was prompted to issue this dire warning.

“They don’t want the truth to come out and here in America, we don’t have the freedom to produce a movie that tells the other side,” Bakker bellowed. “People, you don’t understand where we are.I’ve been hesitating to tell you what’s going to come next—one of the things—but they’re going to begin to kill the Christian leaders in this country. I don’t want to say it—I’ve known it for many, many years—but I knew it would come and I believe God has told me that it’s going to happen very, very soon.”

God didn’t tell him anything.  God never has told him anything.  Every claim he makes to that effect is a lie.

Written by Jim

31 Jul 2018 at 6:48 pm

This isn’t Baptism And That Isn’t a Church

Everything about this is wrong.  Everything.

These people are deluded.

Written by Jim

29 Jul 2018 at 5:41 pm

The Real Sharks This Shark Week are Prosperity Preachers

Discovery Channel To Feature Deadly Prosperity Gospel Preachers For Shark Week

As part of its annual Shark Week programming, the Discovery Channel announced Sunday evening it would be featuring the world’s most dangerous prosperity gospel preachers in order to raise public awareness of the deadly predators.

The cable science channel will feature a wide array of prosperity preachers throughout the week, including Joel Osteen, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer, Joseph Prince, Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, and Benny Hinn, showcasing their inhuman ability to mangle the Scriptures and devour unsuspecting victims.

“This here is a prime example of the prosperity preacher in his natural habitat,” a commentator said over horrifying Benny Hinn footage in Sunday night’s Shark Week premiere. “See how the cold-blooded predator draws in its prey and then goes for the kill? Utterly horrifying.”

The documentary footage, collected over the past year, also shows moving footage of the millions of third-world believers still living in poverty after giving their life savings to the savage beasts.

“The prosperity gospel preacher in its native environment is one of nature’s most terrifying predators,” a Discovery Channel representative said. “We could just keep featuring sea-dwelling sharks year after year, but honestly they’re pretty boring compared to the ruthlessness of a Copeland or a Dollar ambushing an unsuspecting believer and tearing their bank account to shreds.”

“It sends shivers down my spine,” he added with a shudder.

According to the Discovery Channel, the footage will be preceded by a graphic content warning, as the cable channel states that watching Christians become ensnared by prosperity gospel preachers is not for the faint of heart.

Written by Jim

23 Jul 2018 at 4:26 pm

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

Rick Wiles: We’re 72 Hours Away From A Coup During Which Trump Will Be Decapitated On The White House Lawn.

Where do these imbeciles come from and WHY do they have as many as 1 follower?

Written by Jim

18 Jul 2018 at 4:25 pm

Oh Pentebabbleists, You’re a Constant Source of Mirth…

What with your insane pseudo-exegesis and moronic claims.  Do you guys even Bible?

Last week, End Times author Paul McGuire appeared on the Jim Bakker Show and declared that President Trump is currently engulfed in “the greatest spiritual battle in the history of all mankind.” He expanded on his claim on his radio program this Thursday, this time clarifying that the battle is with “advanced beings” who possess “supernatural multidimensional” powers.

And it gets even weirder.

“The physical battles that we see in our world and nation right now are a direct manifestation of the spiritual battles going on in the invisible realm,” McGuire said in an audio clip flagged by Right Wing Watch.

“There are people very high up in what is called the globalist occult or globalist Luciferian rulership system, and this rulership system consists of what used to be called the Pharaoh-God Kings, it’s what Aldous Huxley called ‘The Scientific Dictatorship,’ and these are advanced beings who know how to tap into supernatural multidimensional power and integrate it with science, technology, and economics,” he continued.

McGuire even had the hierarchical structure of these advanced beings pegged, saying they are at the “highest level of the pyramidic organizational structure in which the highest ranking officers, if you will, of the New World Order and Mystery Babylon are ruling the earth through an organizational structure that looks like the pyramid on the back of the U.S. dollar.”

“And they control the world because they understand that the true control of the world is done through supernatural mechanisms.”

You guys are just complete lunatics.

Written by Jim

12 Jul 2018 at 7:59 am

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery: The Case of Rodney Howard-Browne

During the final night of the week-long “Celebrate America” revival event that he recently held in Washington, D.C., Rodney Howard-Browne issued a “restraining order” to the Antichrist and the secret cabal that controls the world, spiritually binding their efforts to destroy America.

Howard-Browne, a right-wing pastor and radical conspiracy theorist who laid hands upon and prayed over President Trump in the Oval Office last year, declared that he had been ordered by God to “issue [this] restraining order, and this one is to do with these entities, these groups, the part of the cabal that is running the planet.”

“I don’t care what people think,” Howard-Browne said. “I’m here to deliver a message whether people like it or not. I’m not going to change anything. I’m not looking to be accepted, I’m already accepted by Him. I’m just the messenger boy … I’m just here to deliver the message. If you don’t like the message, go talk to the one who gave me the message, I’m just here to deliver it and to stand and to issue the restraining order.”

“I take authority over every system that has been set in place by the globalist agenda to destroy America,” he proclaimed, “[and] to take this nation through our schools and our universities and our education system, from the day care all the way to the universities and even to the seminaries. I execute a restraining order against you.”

“I take authority over the spirit of deception that controls the media and Hollywood and all of the entertainment industry,” he shouted. “I bind you even now, I render you powerless and ineffective. May your voice grow dim. In the name of Jesus, may the scales fall off the people of America, off of their eyes, may their ears come unstopped. May the lies be exposed for what they are.”

“You foul devil of hell, you foul spirit of Antichrist, I bind you in the name of Jesus,” Howard-Browne continued to bellow. “This is not your hour, this is the hour of the church of Jesus Christ. And to the Antichrist, you can wait in your hole where you belong until we are done. And we are not done yet and we are not going quietly into history. If it means death, then so be it!”

You Pentebabbleists are unhinged nuts.  You’re nuts.

Written by Jim

10 Jul 2018 at 12:17 pm

If Your Pastor Calls Himself ‘Apostle’ And His ‘Church’ Has Aerialist Performances, You Need to Find a Real Church to Attend

Because this isn’t a real Church.  This is a show.  It isn’t about worship it’s about entertainment.  It isn’t Christianity, it’s an infomercial for poor theology and worse ecclesiology.

Written by Jim

2 Jul 2018 at 9:49 am

Pentebabbleists Really Are Insane- And They Are What Happens When Theology isn’t Moored to Scripture

If Pentebabbleists tied their theology to Revelation, they wouldn’t fall for the insipid ignorance so widespread in their spiritualism.  They certainly wouldn’t say things like this guy has said:

Trump-loving right-wing pastor and rabid conspiracy theorist Carl Gallups appeared on Jim Bakker’s television program yesterday, where he warned that opposition to President Trump is “very demonic.”

“I think that is why there is so much of an attack on Donald Trump in America,” Gallups said. “I think this is very spiritual … and, at some levels, very demonic, a demonic attack.”

Gallups said that “Satan hates” Trump’s support for Israel and so “Satan is raising up antagonism right here in America” against the president.

“A lot of people don’t know it, they think it is all political,” he added. “I think a lot of it is deeply, deeply spiritual. You talk about the deep state? There is a deeper state.”

Later in the broadcast, Bakker urged viewers to support his network, saying that God wants his daily television program to remain on the air because it is not only important to Trump personally but vital to helping Republicans maintain control of Congress in the upcoming midterm elections. Bakker claimed that Trump called him directly after the 2016 election and spent 20 minutes thanking him and telling him that his show “was one of the things that made a big difference in this election.”

“The spirit of Antichrist is trying to destroy all Gospel,” Bakker warned. “Christian television, if the enemy, if the opposition ever gets a hold of this country again; believe me, you have no idea how much this world hates the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”

“They hate Trump so bad, I’m afraid they might even have him assassinated,” Bakker said, asking Gallups what will happen “if we have a switch back to an anti-Christ government” in the midterms.

“The light will go out and it will get dark quickly,” Gallups responded.

These people are so ignorant of Scripture that they think darkness is light and evil is good.  Isaiah has something to say to them:

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil;
That put darkness for light, and light for darkness;
That put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!  Is 5:20

Written by Jim

28 Jun 2018 at 1:53 pm

TBN – The Blasphemy Network

Last week, TBN teased a name change for the long-running Christian channel, and finally revealed the new official name for the station on a live broadcast this morning: The Blasphemy Network.

“Trinity Broadcasting Network simply wasn’t right for our brand, as it contains accurate theology and no indication that we regularly broadcast completely heretical teachings,” TBN president Matt Crouch said on the live show. “We wanted to remind our audience that we’re all about the blasphemy, 24/7.”

Coinciding with the name change, the network also announced an exciting new variety show called “The Benny Hinn Show,” a workout program tentatively titled “Steven Furtick Pumps You Up,” and a spin-off of an old MTV show dubbed “Cribs: Prosperity Preacher Edition.”

Pentebabbleists… they do love their heresy.

Written by Jim

11 Jun 2018 at 6:40 pm

This Is Why You Don’t Allow Dilettantes to Have a Bible

Their mishandling of it has serious consequences:

A B.C. couple whose religious views are too extreme even for churches and pastors and put them at odds with family, doctors, social workers and anyone else trying to help them with their daughter, have lost their battle for custody of her.

The unusual child custody trial featured the couple speaking in tongues to a stuffed animal they said transmitted the word of God directly to them and refusing legal assistance because Jesus Christ — through the stuffed lion — was their lawyer, witness and judge.

In November, when the girl was one, the Provincial Court of British Columbia formally declared she was in need of protection and placed her in provincial custody, a decision the parents appealed to the B.C. Supreme Court. The parents claimed the judge violated their Charter rights, discriminated against them as Christians and made procedural errors.

Both parents were raised in Christian homes, she in Ontario and he in B.C., but strayed from their roots until reconnecting with their beliefs as adults. They met in 2014 and shared a mutual interest in their own emerging view of the Christian faith and were privately married a year later, court heard.

They are not named to protect the identity of the child.

They had unstable working and living arrangements, moving around various communities in B.C., court heard. Their views started interfering with their relationships with others, including Christian communities. Several churches banned them and even called police for assistance when the couple set out to “purge churches of evil influences,” according to court records.

At one point, after the birth of their child, they were criminally charged with causing a disturbance after police were called to a church in West Kelowna where the parents were trying to cleanse demonic influences, court heard.

“It appears that, due to their strong religious beliefs, they are intolerant of those who do not espouse identical views. This includes other Christians,” Justice Diane MacDonald wrote in her ruling, released this week.

Etc. So, do keep the Bible out of the hands of the unhinged.

Written by Jim

7 Jun 2018 at 6:50 pm

More Pentebabbleist Nutbaggery

On April 28, 2011, Mark Taylor—a recently retired firefighter—woke at 2 a.m. Unable to return to sleep, he turned on his TV. Clicking through channels, he stopped at C-Span. The man on his screen was Donald Trump.

At that moment Mark heard God say, “You are hearing the voice of the next president.” Little did Mark know several dozen video recordings of others documented that they also heard the same message and were equally convinced it came from God.

Years later, while receiving treatments for post-traumatic stress—remnants from his work as a firefighter—Mark’s therapist, Dr. Don Colbert, an expert in the treatment of PTS, asked permission to share Mark’s unusual journal entry with his wife, an international ministry networker, Mary Colbert. Mary immediately recognized the rhythm and cadence of the April 28 journal entry as a message that was very important and special.

After seeking counsel and much prayer, Mary created the Nation Builders prayer network, which grew organically to hundreds of thousands of Christians uniting in prayer for our nation and its leadership.

Mark and Mary eventually co-wrote a book chronicling his remarkable journey from his stressful work as a firefighter, through the evening election night, 2016. Part of that book is the basis for The Trump Prophecy, a film focusing on the power of prayer and the biblical mandate to pray for those in authority over us.

Ugh.  The madness people will suck up when they have not even the most basic understanding of Scripture.

Written by Jim

21 May 2018 at 4:35 pm

If This Is What Your ‘Church Service’ Looks Like, Stop Calling Yourself a Church

You may be a nightclub, but you aren’t a Church.

Written by Jim

1 May 2018 at 7:11 am

No, The World Isn’t Ending on April 23rd… David Meade is a Charlatan

No, there isn’t a giant planet heading this way.  And no, there is no such thing as a ‘Christian numerologist’.

The end of the world is going to kick off on April 23 – but it’s not going to be a nuclear conflagration set off by events in Syria.

Instead, a mysterious ‘death planet’ will appear in the sky, setting off volcanic eruptions, tsunamis and earthquakes – and it’s all predicted in the Bible.

Or at least that’s what Christian numerologist David Meade claims, in an interview with the Daily Express.

Meade, we should point out, has form, as he previously predicted that the death planet Nibiru would appear to kill us all late last year.

This time, he claims that an alignment of stars represents ‘he Lion of the tribe of Judah’ – meaning that the Rapture, when Christ returns to bring the faithful to paradise, is at hand.

David Meade is a charlatan.  Period.

Written by Jim

23 Apr 2018 at 11:01 am

More Pentebabbleist Misconduct

According to U.S. Attorney Bobby L. Christine, Savannah, Georgia minister, Cedric Manior, 44, of Rincon, was sentenced on March 30 to 10 years of incarceration by United States District Judge Lisa Godbey Wood. According to a release, Manior was convicted last August of Conspiracy to Possess with Intent to Distribute Cocaine and Crack Cocaine and to being a Felon in Possession of Firearms.

Evidence presented in court filings and at sentencing revealed that Cedric Manior, also known as “Preacher Man,” a minister of New Beginnings International Outreach Ministry, was involved in a major drug trafficking organization that sold cocaine and crack cocaine in the Southern District of Georgia and elsewhere.  According to reports, Manior stored and sold drugs from his home located in Rincon, and he also directed his adult son, Cameron Edwards, to sell illegal drugs on his behalf.

It’s what happens when your ‘church’ is a front for a drug operation…

Written by Jim

4 Apr 2018 at 2:01 pm

Quote of the Century

Nathan O. Hatch’s The Democratization of American Christianity contains this gem (with thanks to Ted Beam for it)-

schaff

The upstarts with the ready tongues do indeed deceive the multitude.  And today they are Joel Osteen, TD Jakes, Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Rachel Held Evans, and the rest of the self appointed pseudo-theologians and pseudo-Christians whose works litter the bookstores and Jesus Junk shacks and tv stations today and since Americans have no power to discern spirits, they are happy to buy into the arbitrary fancies and baseless opinions of these rankly theologically amorphic false teachers.