Category Archives: mockery

How Your Disgraced Pastor Can Get Back in the Saddle And Re-Commence Deceiving the Flock

In 7 easy steps.  And hey, Mark Driscoll, you need to pay attention to this: 1.) Issue a public apology for getting caught. Get your PR people to draft up an apology where you sincerely ask for your people’s forgiveness for … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

“He Knew What He Was Signing up For”

Donald Trump, to Abraham Lincoln’s family after Lincoln was assassinated… Donald Trump, to Ronald Reagan’s family after Reagan was shot… Donald Trump, to the families of the Las Vegas shooting victims… Donald Trump, to the family of President McKinley… Donald … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

If You Want People to Attend Your Church, The Secret is the Coffee….

Pretty much, Bee.  Pretty. Much. Local believers Austin and Paige Henderson have announced their decision to join the Axis Church after several months spent sampling pre-service coffee offerings in churches throughout the city, reports confirmed. According to the couple, the … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

News Novice ‘Worship Leaders’ Can Use…

via Facebook bro M.R.

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

Weinstein is Just a Symptom of the Sickness of Moral Bankruptcy

And the Bee is on the mark again. In the wake of the recent Harvey Weinstein scandal sending shockwaves through Hollywood, the nation’s elite members of the entertainment industry have expressed their puzzlement at the fact that the country has … Continue reading

Posted in mockery, Total Depravity | Leave a comment

The Bee Stings Pentebabbleist ‘Personal Revelations’

A new edition of the Bible released by Charisma House publishing includes hundreds of blank pages sandwiched between the book of Revelation and the usual array of maps of the Bible lands, sources confirmed Friday. The new pages, intended to be … Continue reading

Posted in mockery, Pentebabbleism, Pentebabbleists | Leave a comment

Old Men To Be Allowed to Join Cub Scouts

Because, why not?  The Bee does it again- it mocks. Just one day after announcing that they would be admitting girls into their Cub Scouts program, the Boy Scouts of America declared another historic change to their 107-year-old organization: they … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

Even The Nonsense of Dispensationalism Comes in Pumpkin Spice Now…

A team of dispensational premillennialist prophecy experts has declared the official start of a previously unknown “pumpkin spice” dispensation, sources confirmed Thursday. “The signs are clear that God’s unfolding of His redemptive plan has taken yet another detour,” prophecy teacher Hal … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

Pat Robertson’s Op-Ed: Christianity isn’t About Religion, It’s About a Relationship with Donald Trump

Pat’s piece is posted in the Bee– When Christ came 2,000 years ago, he came not with a set of rules for us to try hard to follow in order to become better people, but with a cross that accomplished … Continue reading

Posted in mockery, Modern Culture | Leave a comment

The Bee Stings the Wrist Tat

I was wondering when they would get around to this little fad– Heavenly messengers confirmed Thursday the addition of a tenth fruit of the Spirit which is to be added to the list of traits in the book of Galatians … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

Ok What Kind of Wrecklessly Feckless Souls Read the ‘Gospel Coalition’?

What kind of horrid people ‘don’t usually enjoy learning about the past’?  I don’t have anything in common with such creatures.  Indeed, they don’t even exist (as far as I’m concerned).  They’re the sort who don’t have a clue why … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | 1 Comment

Mark Driscoll’s Hubris (And Patheos’ Silliness) Destroyed by Mockery

In a surprise revelation, pastor Mark Driscoll claimed Tuesday at his new Patheos blog space that he is in fact the author of the book of Hebrews in the New Testament. The once-disgraced, now-returned pastor pointed out many similarities between … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

The Bee Mocks the Heffnerian Weepers

According to reports from around the nation, Americans who think of themselves as progressive and forward-thinking in their support for women’s rights and the dignity of females everywhere were celebrating the life of Hugh Hefner, for some reason, after his … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

‘Progressive’ and ‘Affirming’ Christians… And ISIS

Look at the calendar. It’s 2017. Yes, it’s almost 2,000 years since the time of Christ, and we still haven’t accepted ISIS into the church family with open arms as Christian brothers and sisters. Despite many great strides made by … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

Hiding Your Internet Activity From God

In an exciting update to Google’s popular Chrome browser Tuesday, the technology giant announced a major breakthrough, beefing up the program’s privacy and encryption protocols in its “incognito mode” such that even God Himself can’t intercept or recover websites visited while … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | 1 Comment

Martin Luther’s Open Letter to the Trump Republicans

Who ever does not know the devil might be misled by these many splendid words to think that five holy spirits were in possession of you. Whoever differs from you is a papist twice over who crucifies or murders Christ; … Continue reading

Posted in Luther, mockery | Leave a comment

Now Catholics are Refusing to Stand During Parts of the Service…

Catholic parishioners across the U.S. protested during the Our Father Sunday in defiance of Pope Francis, who said that parishioners who kneel during the “Lord’s Prayer” should be denied communion. Many parishioners sat, kneeled, or stayed inside restrooms during the … Continue reading

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

The NFL Isn’t #TakingAKnee … It’s Tebowing

As reported by The Bee– which, really, is never wrong- You’ve heard it said not to be discouraged when evangelistic efforts don’t bear immediate fruit, because you never know what effect they might have down the road, in the future, … Continue reading

Posted in mockery, Modern Culture | Leave a comment

In Academia It’s A&A not Q&Q or Especially Not Q&A

You’ve been there- to those academic meetings where someone asks a ‘question’ that isn’t really a question at all but the interlocutor’s own little mini lecture answer… The Bee explains how it works outside academia.

Posted in mockery | Leave a comment

Amazon’s New ‘Luther-an’ Echo Answers Your Theological Questions- Rudely

I want one. Specifically targeting the lucrative Christian market for the first time in celebration of the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation, Amazon just released a new version of its Amazon Echo device that is shaped like Reformer Martin … Continue reading

Posted in Luther, mockery | Leave a comment