Category Archives: mockery

Generally It’s the People Going to Hell Who Say ‘Only God can Judge Me’

Sources at the USCCB confirmed today that notorious womanizer and overall prick Brody Kakedelis, who once attended St. Thomas More Academy, will most likely end up in hell, despite a new tattoo he has on his forearm reading, “Only God … Continue reading

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Because, Honestly, Who Needs All That?

Finally, an executive order I can get fully behind– A new mandate banning churches from implementing incredibly awkward times of forced meeting and greeting is the latest executive order to be signed by President Trump, sources at the White House … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings the Silly Coiffed ‘Worship Leader’

According to sources, the $75,000 annual worship ministry budget at Gracepointe Community Church has been totally depleted just over six months into the year, with worship leader Matthew “Aces High” Bogdan having spent almost the entire sum on various designer … Continue reading

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Joel Osteen’s ‘Church’ Has Gone Almost a Year Without Mentioning Jesus

Mockery at its finest– According to sources from within Lakewood Church, the largest congregation in the country, a church staffer was seen adjusting the numbers on the church’s “Days Without A Reference To Jesus” sign after the church’s 11:00 a.m. … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings Shallow ‘Conversions’

According to sources close to the local man, 32-year-old Peter Neilsen finally came to accept Jesus Christ as his personal butler at a midweek church service. Neilsen wrestled for years with God’s call to salvation, and finally received the Lord … Continue reading

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Coming Up this Weekend…

A tweetstorm from Trump: Taking into account a fast-approaching offshore low-pressure system as well as the ongoing James Comey hearing, expert meterologists predict cloudy skies and a high probability of a “brutal” tweetstorm from President Trump over the weekend. The … Continue reading

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How To Start Your Own Pentebabbleist Cult

In six easy steps.

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The Bee Stings The SBC’s Adoration of the Amendment

The Second Amendment, that is. After a long, drawn-out internal battle, the Southern Baptist Convention narrowly voted to affirm the inerrancy of the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution at a special meeting called to settle the matter once … Continue reading

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Donald Trump Completes His Transformation of the White House to the Gray House

Via the Postillon. The Gray House is completely coal powered.  Thanks Donald!

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How Come No One Has Complained About the Cultural Appropriation of the Rainbow?

It is, after all, a quite specific religious symbol and has been for a very, very long time… Tech behemoth Google, known to change the logo on its eponymous search engine in honor of special people and events, announced Friday that … Continue reading

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The Bee Has Finally Gone too Far…

I love group texts.  LOVE them.  Love sending them and love getting them.  You’ve gone too far this time, Bee… mocking the GT. Local man Chris Hatcher is currently serving the fourth year of a life sentence in an ongoing … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings Kathy Griffin

Kathy Griffin, who sources describe as a comedian, apologized Tuesday for publishing a gruesome photo to social media which falsely depicts herself as someone with current political and social relevance. The image of Ms. Griffin holding a bloodied, severed head in … Continue reading

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How to Keep Your Child Safe From those Dangerous ‘Fidget Spinners’

Keep them from fidgeting!  Here are some helpful suggestions as to how that can be accomplished:

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The Bee Stings the ‘It All Just Happened by Accident’ Evolvers

An enlightened, freethinking NPC on a lightly modded Minecraft server announced Monday that he denies the existence of Notch and the team at Mojang, explaining that he doesn’t see any evidence of design in the clearly designed game world around … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings the Know it All College Kid

I’d love for some college freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior or grad school kid to try this.  I’d LOVE it. Local college student Bryan Valdes, who just finished his first year in the Biblical Studies program at Pacific Grace University, … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings Zuckerbergism

Giving his arms and legs a nice little stretch while reclining in his office chair Thursday afternoon, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook, confirmed that he had successfully completed another long day of deciding what people around the world should believe. … Continue reading

Posted in Facebook theology that makes me sigh, mockery

The Bee Stings Cultural Relativism

An oldie but a goodie- Sources from within the United States confirmed Tuesday that American society, while typically rejecting concepts like absolute truth and objective moral standards, is suddenly showing grave concern for the rise of fabricated news stories after … Continue reading

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The Bee Mocks the Egalitarians

First United Methodist in Covington is an egalitarian church which prides itself on treating men and women the same. You go, church! But the congregation ran into a major snafu at a recent potluck: no one brought any sandwiches to the … Continue reading

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Signs of the Times

Poor Donny Trump- no one has ever been picked on more than he has… because he’s never heard of Lincoln or Caesar or Kennedy or thousands of others murdered in office. Loser.  Bigly.

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Rob Bell Knows Less About the Bible than A Louse Does

Rob Bell recently clarified that his new book’s title What Is the Bible? was an actual, legitimate question he was asking, not a rhetorical one, and that the title should not be taken to suggest that his book contains any … Continue reading

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