Category Archives: mockery

The Bee Stings The Communism Romanticizers

A study performed by researchers at Harvard University found a strong link between supporting the idea of communism and never once having even briefly opened a history book, sources confirmed Tuesday. The study appears to imply that would-be communists are … Continue reading

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The Hilarious Story of the White Supremacist Who Thinks He’s A Christian

Bravo, The Bee– With all the madness going on in the world, it can be therapeutic to get a good laugh out of something every once in a while. You know, to relieve the pressure and stress of living in … Continue reading

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How to Structure A ‘Successful’ Youth ‘Ministry’

Via the Bee– We consulted with thousands of biblical scholars and asked them what the most important elements of a biblical youth group are, and this is what they came up with. Don’t get mad at us; we’re just reporting … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings the Narcissism of Modern Christian ‘Music’

Citing the timeless truths and life-giving message contained in its lyrics, The Gospel Music Association revealed Wednesday that it has chosen Christina Aguilera’s 2002 hit “Beautiful” as the greatest worship song of all time, topping its list of the 10 … Continue reading

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Mortality Rates Are Unchanged

The Babylon Bee reports A new study of the world’s population revealed that the expected mortality rate among humans is still 100%, researchers at Harvard University confirmed Tuesday. The surprising study found that given enough time, every single person on … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings the Ridiculous Interpretations of Revelation

In a groundbreaking discovery sure to change the future of eschatological studies, scholars revealed Monday that the autograph of the book of Revelation originally included a detailed end times and rapture chart to help readers make sense of the apocalyptic … Continue reading

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You Know You’re A Celebrity Pastor When You Have Staff to Tweet For You!

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The Bee Stings the Goober-ness of Praise Bands, Again

It’s funny, because it has never once happened- After the worship band’s DJ nailed a “sick bass drop” in an EDM remix of popular worship song “This is Amazing Grace” at a midweek service, thousands poured to the front of … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings the Dilettantes: I.E., The Held-Evans’s of Christendom

After a full five minutes of careful study on a controversial topic, local believer Andrea Williams confirmed Wednesday that she had come to the conclusion that the Bible was 100% in agreement with what she wanted to be true in … Continue reading

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One of the Bee’s Best Stings Yet: Feminist Angry at God for ‘Godsplaining’

Local feminist Linda Otto reportedly dismissed the Bible as “Godsplaining” in a recent blog post, followers of her Patheos page confirmed Wednesday. She defined the term as the Lord revealing commandments and universal moral truths without consulting His creation to see … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings The Heretic Osteen

But a bit unrealistically, because Osteen has never actually opened a bible. After overhearing a pair of Christians discuss 2 Timothy 2:15 in a local coffee shop, pastor and teacher Joel Osteen reportedly discovered for the first time the concept … Continue reading

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Trump University- Still Making a Difference…

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I So Wish This Were True: It Would Make Pastor Conferences Barely Tolerable At Least…

The programming team behind Logos Bible Software announced Wednesday that an upcoming program update will include an officially licensed version of Microsoft’s “Clippy” digital assistant, an on-screen anthropomorphized paper clip who has been programmed to correct weak and unbiblical sermons … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings Eugene Peterson

According to sources from around the nation, exactly three people were “completely blindsided” by a recent interview in which pastor and author of The Message Eugene Peterson publicly came out in favor of same-sex marriage. The three people have been identified as … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings ‘The Wrong Side of History’ Mob

The everlasting Creator God admitted through a messenger Tuesday that He has recently been concerned that His unchanging, eternal truths might end up being on the wrong side of history. The Lord has reportedly been growing increasingly worried in recent … Continue reading

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The Bee Stings Trump Jr

Citing his desire for “complete transparency,” Donald Trump Jr., the oldest child of United States President Donald Trump, took to social media Tuesday to share a selfie he took with Russian President Vladimir Putin during the elder Trump’s 2016 presidential … Continue reading

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It’s Funny Because It’s True

The entire church body at Grace Valley Church tragically suffered from heat exhaustion Sunday morning, as an usher mistakenly set the thermostat to just above 72 degrees Fahrenheit before the church’s 10:30 a.m. service, sources confirmed Monday. The error was … Continue reading

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It’s The Emergent’s Jesus: He’s OK With Anything You Do

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Totally Unrealistic

That never happens. Representatives for local Christian radio station 102.9 “The Light On Your Radio” issued an official apology Thursday morning after accidentally playing a good song on their affiliate radio stations. A programming error reportedly caused the non-terrible song … Continue reading

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What Does An Angry Atheist State Look Like? North Korea

And the Bee knows it– Millions Of Unbelievers Flock To Atheist Paradise Of North Korea A surprising United Nations report indicated Tuesday that millions of atheist immigrants have begun fleeing oppressive nations built on Judeo-Christian beliefs, such as the United … Continue reading

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