Category Archives: misery
Here’s Matthew Anderson on it-
The poster for Paul, Apostle of Christ shows a steely-eyed Paul (James Faulkner) gazing straight at the viewer. Luke, played by Jim Caviezel, (Jesus in The Passion of the Christ), stands resolutely beside him. Two handsome, sun-beaten white actors with strong noses and strong chins play heroes of the Christian faith. What could possibly be wrong?
In terms of historical accuracy, there’s much wrong. And much at stake. Paul, Apostle of Christ is one of an upsurge in Bible-themed movies that romanticize and distort the past and risk present-day harm. Such films are like soda pop: Sweet, easy to swallow, but harmful as a steady diet.
Etc. Like all Bible movies, this one is worth missing.
Can no longer be expected today. As proof, here are the opening remarks on Genesis 1:1 from the 1914 Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges:
1. In the beginning] B’rêshîth: LXX ἐν ἀρχῇ: Lat. in principio. This opening word expresses the idea of the earliest time imaginable. It contains no allusion to any philosophical conception of “eternity.” The language used in the account of Creation is neither that of abstract speculation nor of exact science, but of simple, concrete, and unscientific narrative.
First, students then could be expected, even at the ‘high school’ level, to know enough Greek and Hebrew to read the text in it. That can no longer be presumed even of Seminary graduates today! Not to mention high school or college students.
The opening words of John’s Gospel (ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος, 1:1) are based upon this clause. But, whereas St John refers to the Word’s eternal pre-existence before time, the Hebrew writer simply speaks of “the beginning” of the universe as the historic origin of time and space.
Second- students could be expected to be biblically literate. Not so any longer.
In the Hebrew Bible the book of Genesis is called “B’rêshîth,” deriving its title from this first word.
God] Elohim: LXX ὁ Θεός: Lat. Deus. See Introduction on “The Names of God.” The narrative begins with a statement assuming the Existence of the Deity. It is not a matter for discussion, argument, or doubt. The Israelite Cosmogony differs in this respect from that of the Babylonians, Phoenicians, Egyptians, &c. The Cosmogonies of the ancients were wont to be preceded by Theogonies. The existence and nativities of the creating divinities were accounted for in mythologies which were often highly complicated, and not seldom grotesque. The Hebrew narrator, by beginning with the Creation, emphasizes his entire freedom from, and exclusion of, polytheistic thought. If Polytheism had existed in the earliest Hebrew times, it had been abandoned in the growing light of the Israelite religion. “God” is infinite; He was before all time: “In the beginning God created.” Upon the subject of the Divine Existence prior to “the beginning” the writer does not presume to speculate. That Israelite imagination did not wholly avoid the subject, we know from Job 28:25–28, Prov. 8:22–30, Wisd. 9:9, Ecclus. 24:9.
Third, they could be presumed to know ‘big words’ like ‘theogony’. Pop that into a discussion with a high school or college student these days and you’ll get a blank stare. But at least, thank God, they know the word ‘selfie’…
Concerning the Israelite conception of God (Elohim), we learn (1) from the present verse, that He (i) is a Person, and (ii) exists from all eternity; (2) from the whole passage, 1:1–2:4a, that He is (i) supreme in power, and (ii) perfect in wisdom and goodness. The attribute of power is shewn in creative omnipotence; that of wisdom in the orderly sequence of creation; that of goodness in the benevolent purpose which directed its successive phases.
Fourth, they could be expected to follow a philosophically intense line of reasoning. Yeah, today? Forget about it.
Many speak these days of the advances made in science and technology but the fact is, people today are less educated and less well read and less informed than they were a mere hundred years ago.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a while.
Dear GOP Senators and Congressmen,
I was afraid the 1% and Congress would be hurt by the bill you’re putting together. It’s such a relief to know that only the middle and lower classes will be. Thanks so much Senator Lamar Alexander and Senator Bob Corker. You guys are real heroes to the super rich. I just hope you don’t have to stay in office to see the death and destruction you’ll cause.
Oh great- more garbage from the self appointed uninformed biblical and theological dilettantes who have already rotted the airways with more than their fair share of nonsense. DON’T do it @netflix.
Netflix Has Ordered a Show About a Modern-Day Jesus From Mark Burnett and Roma Downey.
I sure wish God would dispense judgement to destroy false teachers and heretics like he used to in the olden times. Ananias and Saphira, for instance…
And so didst Jesus saith to themeth beforeth he didst ascendeth out of earshot- go into all the world and hand out prom dresses and free gas cards and pizza and party favors for, lo, the Gospel in and of itselfeth is not sufficient and thou mustest bribe them into the Kingdom of God with glitz and glamour.
And behold, the disciples were sore amazed and Peter didst say to Jesus- nuh uh. That ain’t right yo.
And Jesus, as he faded out of sight saidst yeah no kidding but do you think people in 21st century American churches want to hear the Gospel? No, for by then it will be entertainment that they crave and prom dresses and gas cards and pizza. For beholdeth, America is consumedst in that dayeth with materialism and when the Son of Man returns he won’t find faith there.
And the disciples wept and Thomas didst say as Jesus faded out of sight… So we’re really going to sacrifice everything and they’ll sacrifice nothing…. And Peter didst go fishing.
These people should just stop. But they seem incapable of it, driven by some sort of demonically induced madness.
An Israeli Rabbi has claimed that the biblical prophecy of Balaam, which says that the appearance of a new star will precede the coming of the Messiah, matches an astronomical event that scientists predict will occur in 2022. Although the Jewish faith does not believe that Jesus is the Messiah, some Christians have interpreted the Rabbi’s prediction as proof that Jesus’ second coming will occur in 2022.
Rabbi Yosef Berger of King David’s Tomb on Mount Zion claimed that biblical prophecy of Balaam and “Jewish esoteric sources” show that the astronomical event predicted for 2022, the collision of two stars to form a brand new star in the night sky, will herald the arrival of the Messiah. The astronomical event fulfills an ancient prophetic sign of the coming of the Messiah, the Rabbi claimed, according to Breaking Israel News.
Rabbi Berger claimed that Balaam’s prophecy and other Jewish mystical sources say that the coming of the Messiah will be preceded by heavenly signs involving multiple stars. The ancient prophecy of the arrival of the Messiah matches recent predictions by astronomers that a dazzling display from a red nova explosion will appear in the sky in 2022, following the collision of two faint stars in the constellation of Cygnus, according to the Rabbi.
Lunacy. When 2022 comes and goes I hope this guy has the courage to admit he is a liar.
For the vast majority of Americans, November 9 only differed from the week preceding it in the lack of political ads permeating their media. For many, it was a welcome end to months upon months of hateful rhetoric and horrible slanders.
At Yale University, supposedly one of the most elite institutions of higher learning in the country, an anonymous professor has decided to let students skip their midterms:
“I am getting many heartfelt notes from students who are in shock over the election returns,” the professor wrote in an email to his students, according to Yale Daily News Managing Editor Jon Victor tweeted.“The ones I find most upsetting are those who fear, rightly or wrongly, for their own families. These students are requesting that the exam be postponed. On the other hand, I am sure that many students have sacrificed to prepare for the test …Therefore, I am making the exam optional.”
The professor told the class he would “calculate each student’s grade both with and without” the exam.
Remember when asking a professor to postpone an exam for anything short of a natural disaster was grounds to be laughed at? Ah, good times. Good times.
However, that professor’s decision was far from being the silliest example:
At Tufts University, arts and crafts were on offer. And the University of Kansas reminded students via social media of the therapy dogs available for comfort every other Wednesday.Colleges nationwide scrambled to help students process Republican Donald Trump’s stunning election victory. They’re acknowledging that many students were up late watching results and so may not be at their sharpest in early-morning lectures. More so, they’re responding to a widespread sense of shock and despair on campuses to the victory of a candidate who offended Mexicans, Gold Star mothers, Muslims and the disabled during the course of the campaign.
“People are frustrated, people are just really sad and shocked,” said Trey Boynton, the director of multi-ethnic student affairs at the University of Michigan. “A lot of people are feeling like there has been a loss. We talked about grief today and about the loss of hope that this election would solidify the progress that was being made.”
There was a steady flow of students entering Ms. Boynton’s office Wednesday. They spent the day sprawled around the center, playing with Play-Doh and coloring in coloring books, as they sought comfort and distraction.
Grow up, you infantile pseudo-adults.
The Rising Church music school has raised up hundreds of worship leaders and musicians, but the institution is reportedly kicking things up a notch with a new course load designed to help vocalists belt out nonsensical ad libs in between a song’s actual lyrics.
According to Troy French, the school’s director, the classes were added after churches reported a great need for worship leaders to hum, wail, and mumble various melodic sounds, words, and phrases during musical interludes.
“What we were finding is that many worship leaders just sang the songs as printed on the music sheets,” French told reporters at a worship summit. “Not a single random ‘Oh thank you Jesus’ or ‘Yes Lord, oh yes my sweet Jesus’ during a musical crescendo or anything.”
“But we’re addressing this grave problem with a barrage of instructional courses meant to teach worship leaders the art of perfectly ad-libbing arbitrary lyrics throughout a song, for the edification of the believers.”
French further stated that the new courses will address common questions about ad-libbing like “How much is too much?”, “How can I get that super spiritual look while ad-libbling?” and “How can I keep the congregation on their toes?”
“We expect God to do great things as our worship leaders and backup vocalists alike ad lib erratically throughout their worship songs.”
Still digesting the fact that Donald Trump has been elected President of the United States in just the latest of a seemingly endless string of inexplicable and bizarre events to have taken place this year, human beings across the planet report that they are “keeping one eye on the heavens,” nervously wondering what God has in store for the rest of 2016.
“Brexit. Harambe. Pokémon GO. The Cubs won the World Series. Donald Trump became president-elect. What could possibly be next?” one visibly uneasy man from Chicago told reporters. “Do we really still have a month and a half of 2016 to go?”
His alarm was shared by people across the globe, sources confirmed.
“I know his ways are higher than our ways, but I’ll be honest—I’m praying for a break in the action,” one woman from the UK said. “Now, if anyone needs me, I’ll be at home repenting and snuggling my Bible.”
An elderly gentleman from Australia echoed the sentiment, saying “God has really thrown us some curveballs this year. And things keep getting crazier and crazier by the month,” adding that he plans on spending the weekend “getting his affairs in order,” preparing for Christ’s imminent return before December 31st.
Yup. What’s next?
These days there’s nothing easier for the publicity questing news hungry than getting your name plastered all over Religion News Service (@RNS).
- Deny any vestige of orthodox Christian faith. That means be pro marriage equality, anti conservative values, and anti biblical literacy.
- Replace the Bible with ‘your view’. Scripture will just cause you problems, so it’s best if you ignore it. But if you must discuss it, eisegete, eisegete, eisegete.
- Be anything but a theologian. RNS dislikes actual theologians and you will hardly ever see one cited or discussed. Instead, your profession of choice must be ‘journalist’ or ‘Christian author’. ESPECIALLY if you’re of the female persuasion. You’re a shoe in if you are anything but a white male theological type. The less theological training you actually have, the better! Hells bells, if you’ve never read a page of theology, you’re king of the land, king of the blind, leader in the land of the blind!
That’s it. Those three steps will ensure that, as soon as you tweet or write, RNS will pick it up and spew it across their pages and social media.
Trump is no ‘god’ and he can’t save you or himself or so much as a tick, you idolatrous blasphemous fools.
Right Michigan? I sure hope you guys (oops, sorry- you creatures) have enough safe spaces and trigger warnings to house all the precious snowflakes demanding their way…
Pastors have no business endorsing any politician. They also have no business pretending that their particular candidate has anything remotely messianic about himself or herself. And they certainly have no business suggesting that a serial adulterer and con man is God’s personal choice.
How would they know such a thing if it were even true? They wouldn’t. And they don’t. But like Jerry Falwell Jr and Eric Metaxas, they will say and do anything they have to in order to cozy up to worldly power.
New Spirit Revival Center church pastor Rev. Darrell Scott declared Wednesday that there is a “concentrated satanic attack” being waged against Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who is believed by some evangelicals to be God’s choice for president.
Speaking at the Midwest Vision and Values Pastors Leadership Conference held at his church in Cleveland, Scott who is CEO of the National Diversity Coalition for Trump, revealed at the event that a “nationally known” preacher had warned Trump prior to the launch of his presidential campaign “that if you choose to run for president, there’s going to be a concentrated Satanic attack against you.”
“He said there’s going to be a demon, principalities and powers, that are going to war against you on a level that you’ve never seen before and I’m watching it every day,” Scott said.
These Pentebabbleists don’t speak for God. I doubt they even know God. They certainly don’t speak for Christians and no one in the media, or society, should be so confused as to think they do.