Category Archives: Dilettante

The Myth of the ‘Ignorant Fishermen’

From time to time (oh alright, just about every day) someone (who doesn’t know what they’re talking about) will insist that theology doesn’t matter because the disciples were just simple fishermen and villagers who followed Jesus around and they just loved him so much that they didn’t need any theology to be faithful.

Rubbish.

What the ‘ignorant fishermen’ mythicists don’s understand, because in their deep silliness they don’t know it, is that the disciples were precisely that.  Disciples.  And what is a disciple?  A learner.  A student.

Jesus was a rabbi.  He’s described as such and as such he had studied with rabbis and been himself a rabbinic student.  And what is a rabbinic student? A theologian.

Jesus was a theologian who gathered around himself theological students (rabbis) to whom he taught – what was it – oh yes, theology.

Accordingly, Jesus didn’t have ignorant illiterate hicks following him around he had serious students who were expected to do their homework, learn their lessons, and apply those lessons.

So at the end of the day the people who think theology doesn’t matter and who love to say that they are just ‘simple followers of Jesus’ have absolutely no idea how Jesus worked.  Nor how the disciples worked.  Nor how the early church worked.  They really, to be fair to them, just have some weird notions they cooked up in their own heads to justify their own theological ignorance.  They delude themselves and in their delusions wish to deceive others.

They are dilettantes.  If they want to be dilettantes, super. They just shouldn’t pretend that their views of Jesus matter to anyone.

This Month’s Dilly Winner

I haven’t seen a more ignorant statement on the subject of theology for a good while.  So, precious heretical Canadian modalist, here’s your Dilly.  It’s well deserved.

The Bee Mocks the Always Ridiculous Jim Bakker and His Threat of Civil War

In a stern warning to anti-Trumpers nationwide, televangelist Jim Bakker warned on his show Tuesday that all six people who are somehow still following him will “come out of the shadows” and start a civil war if President Trump happens to be impeached.

“If [Trump is impeached], I predict that every single one of the half-dozen people who still pay attention to me will rise up, and there will be a civil war in the United States of America,” said the prosperity gospel fixture from the 1980s, whose sex scandals and subsequent five-year prison sentence for fraud and conspiracy revealed him to be a charlatan to everyone on earth except roughly five or six people, depending on the day.

“I’ll tell you what—if my mistresses were to join in, that number would easily double, and then the liberals would have a real fight on their hands,” he added ominously.

Bakker went on to assure his listeners that a global catastrophe was near, explaining that they needed to immediately purchase the Jim Bakker Tasty Deluxe End Times Nachos Plus Dessert Bucket, which contains 14,789 servings and has a shelf life of 60 years, for a donation of only $7,900.

And that, my friends, sums Bakker up.

The Bee Stings the Dilettantes: I.E., The Held-Evans’s of Christendom

After a full five minutes of careful study on a controversial topic, local believer Andrea Williams confirmed Wednesday that she had come to the conclusion that the Bible was 100% in agreement with what she wanted to be true in the first place.

The Christian woman performed extensive research into the topic, including googling phrases like, “how do I explain away verses that disagree with me in the Bible,” and, “how to eisegete,” before cracking open her copy of the Scriptures and spending minutes poring over the text.

“It’s really amazing—when I just make the effort to spend a few deliberate, hasty minutes in the Word, I can get the text to fall in line with my preconceived notions about issues that matter to me,” she was heard saying as she consciously chose to ignore the clear meaning of the inspired words in favor of an unlikely interpretation only arrived by imposing her worldview on the text. “I love how when we come to the Word of God and allow it to shape our minds, it always does us a favor by conforming to our own understanding first.”

The self-made scholar was later offered a lucrative book deal on the topic by a major Christian publisher.

The Bible Doesn’t Call it a Whale

This is what happens when people who don’t read the Bible talk about or write about the Bible-

Earliest mosaic of Jonah and the whale found in Galilee synagogue

Nope.

Unprecedented depictions of the biblical Jonah and the whale have been found at a fifth-century Roman synagogue in Israel’s lower Galilee. In the recently discovered mosaic, Jonah’s legs are shown dangling from the mouth of a large fish, which is being swallowed by a larger fish, which is being consumed by a third, even larger fish.

Here, let me give you a hand with the biblical text:

‎וימן יהוה דג גדול לבלע את־יונה ויהי יונה במעי הדג שׁלשׁה ימים ושׁלשׁה לילות׃

The relevant phrase is

דג גדול

‘Great fish’. That’s it. Not ‘whale’.

Might it have been a whale? Who knows. But calling it a whale is a misrepresentation of the biblical text. And that’s just not going to happen as long as I have breath.  Accordingly, here’s your well deserved Dilly-

DUMBEST. HEADLINE. EVER.

Foreign Policy employs some real dilettantes who don’t know squat about Luther.  If the rest of their analysis is this moronic they belong in the garbage can.

Quote of the Day

Dr Michael J. Svigel  –  Eschatology 101: “Nobody knows the day or the hour. Except that guy with no formal training and a lame website. Besides him, nobody knows.”

Signs of the Times…

If you’re getting your ‘science’ from Bill Nye you need to stop it.

It’s like getting your psychiatry from Dr Phil or your theology from Joel Osteen.

Michelle Bachmann: Winner of This Week’s Dilly Award

Politicians should never pretend to be theologians.  Because they aren’t.  And Bachmann is a prime example.

While speaking last week on the Last Days radio program “Understanding the Times with Jan Markell,” former GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann linked political advocacy on the left with the rise of the Antichrist.

Bachmann said that Donald Trump’s opponents, much like the people who built the Tower of Babel, are rebelling against God to bring about “the creation of a manmade, one-world system. And scripture tells us that in the End Times, that is what Antichrist will be, he will be a part of a one-world system.”

“There are people who reject Judeo-Christian truth and instead want to insert and usurp control of all of our lives with a global, economic and political government,” she said.

Here’s your Dilly.  You certainly deserve it.

Shut Up

The story of Adam and Eve isn’t a marriage relationship manual.  So please, shut up.  Oh, and here’s your Dilly.

This Week’s Dilly Winner

The Winner of this Week’s Dilly is…. #CPAC2017 !!!!

For displaying the sort of ignorance about the Bible and theology that befuddles anyone with a brain and yet nevertheless pretending to interpret it for the present day.  Who is more deserving of a Dilly?  That’s right- no one at all.

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Ignorance afoot!  So, #CPAC2017 – here’s your Dilly, because you don’t know what you’re talking about.  (PS- check Revelation, the gates are ALWAYS OPEN).

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Dilly Of the Year Winner

Maybe of the decade.

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Anyway, ‘Phil’, here’s your well deserved award.  Wear it proudly.

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More ‘Second Coming’ Prediction Madness

These people should just stop.  But they seem incapable of it, driven by some sort of demonically induced madness.

An Israeli Rabbi has claimed that the biblical prophecy of Balaam, which says that the appearance of a new star will precede the coming of the Messiah, matches an astronomical event that scientists predict will occur in 2022. Although the Jewish faith does not believe that Jesus is the Messiah, some Christians have interpreted the Rabbi’s prediction as proof that Jesus’ second coming will occur in 2022.

Rabbi Yosef Berger of King David’s Tomb on Mount Zion claimed that biblical prophecy of Balaam and “Jewish esoteric sources” show that the astronomical event predicted for 2022, the collision of two stars to form a brand new star in the night sky, will herald the arrival of the Messiah. The astronomical event fulfills an ancient prophetic sign of the coming of the Messiah, the Rabbi claimed, according to Breaking Israel News.

Rabbi Berger claimed that Balaam’s prophecy and other Jewish mystical sources say that the coming of the Messiah will be preceded by heavenly signs involving multiple stars. The ancient prophecy of the arrival of the Messiah matches recent predictions by astronomers that a dazzling display from a red nova explosion will appear in the sky in 2022, following the collision of two faint stars in the constellation of Cygnus, according to the Rabbi.

Lunacy.  When 2022 comes and goes I hope this guy has the courage to admit he is a liar.

Mary Beard is Right- You Don’t Get to ‘Sound Off’ Just Because You Feel Like It

She writes

Sorry folks, experts do know a lot… and, at the same time, they should be vulnerable and open to challenge, unseating, overturn and maybe ridicule. But to do that means more than just sounding off!

She’s responding, of course, to the rather dim soul who had the temerity to pretend knowledge at her on the twitter. Read the account here.  And, again, she’s right.  You don’t get to sound off just because you want to, you have to do the work first.  Or, quite frankly, I’d add, just shut up.

So, Betsy DeVos….

Is as qualified for her job as 99.99999% of the people who talk about the Bible are to talk about the Bible…

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I.e, she’s a dilettante. Anathema sint.

The Crime of the Half Millennium: The Kidnapped Bible

noteRemember when kidnappers used to snatch a victim and then they would cut and paste words and phrases from the newspapers and magazines and send them to the family of the victim, demanding ransom?

Well about 500 years ago the Bible was kidnapped and it has been tormented by its kidnappers ever since.

Who are these criminals?  The countless dilettantes who revel in cutting and pasting words and phrases from bits and pieces of the Bible so that it can be made to say whatever they want it to say.  Without hermeneutical sense or the guidance of the Spirit, they have cut the text to shreds and reassembled it in their own image.

Of all the crimes committed in the last half millennium, this is the most widespread.  It happens every day, every hour, in every corner of the world.  And it is a crime because its practitioners are deceivers and deceived.

Say no to the kidnappers.  Say no to the ridiculous notion that everyone’s opinion of the Bible matters.  Say no to spiritual murderers!  Rescue the Bible from its distorters and stop accepting their misprisions.  For your own sake.

The Most Important Piece of Equipment Any Academic Can Possess: Dilettante-dar©

If you don’t have Dilettante-dar© then you need to, to borrow a phrase of Jesus, go and sell what you have to acquire it.  It’s the most important piece of equipment any academic can possess because only by means of it can absurdity (such as that spewed by Eric Metaxas about Dietrich Bonhoeffer) be spotted, confronted, and defeated.

D-Dar©.  Get you some!

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A Lawyer Worthy of A Dilly, and a Journalist Too

This one will strike you as doubly dilettantish.  Because… a lawyer is claiming a polygamous Mormon is missing and may have been a victim of the ‘rapture’… and a journalist labels belief in the ‘rapture’ a ‘Christian belief’ without any qualification of any sort-

The FBI thinks that Lyle Jeffs, the polygamist religious leader accused in a multimillion-dollar food stamp scheme, disappeared from house arrest this summer by coating his ankle monitor in olive oil and sliding it off.  That explanation may fly with nonbelievers, but in court documents filed last week, Jeffs’ attorney has put forth a divine reason for his disappearance — the miracle of rapture:

As this Court is well aware, Mr. Jeffs is currently not available to inform his counsel whether or not he agrees to the Continuance. Whether his absence is based on absconding, as oft alleged by the Government in their filings, or whether he was taken and secreted against his will, or whether he experienced the miracle of rapture is unknown to counsel.

Rapture, for the uninitiated, is the Christian belief that during the second coming of Christ, the holy will be whisked away to heaven.

Yeah, no it’s not.  The notion of a ‘rapture’ is a 19th century fantasy invented by dispensationalists who twisted the Biblical text more than a woman getting her hair permed has it twisted.  So not only does the lawyer get a dilly, so does the journalist.  Congrats to the both of you.

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Bryan Fischer: This Week’s Dilly Winner

Here’s why: he doesn’t know anything about the Bible’s view of women.

Fischer claimed that God specifically reserves leadership roles for men only, even in the home and used the Bible as proof.

The essayist goes on to list places where the Bible describes, in the most positive terms, women in leadership positions.

So, Mr Fischer, given your ineptitude- here’s your dilly.  Congrats!

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