Daily Archives: 20 Sep 2019

Pentebabbleist the Fireman Pseudo-prophet At it Again With his Nutbag Ramblings

As time goes on, Mark Taylor‘s prophecies are getting increasingly incoherent. It’s almost as if he needs to convolute his prophecies more and more so it’s more difficult to point out the fact that they never come true. Either way, we have a new warning from Taylor, and it involves human traffickers, the Red Cross, and the Old Testament god Baal.

According to Taylor, Baal “feeds off the blood of the innocent,” namely aborted fetuses. But thanks to increased restrictions to abortions access in the US, that food source is “running dry.” That’s where the Red Cross comes in.

“We all know the Red Cross is corrupt. They’re into all of this,” he said in a video clip flagged by Right Wing Watch, adding that “they are literally grabbing people … in broad daylight.”

“We are entering into one of the most dangerous phases of this fight,” he continued. “I tell people, ‘I don’t care if you are a Christian or not, if you don’t have a concealed weapons permit, you need to get one. You need to learn how to use a weapon and you need to be carrying it right now because this is a very dangerous time that we are going to be entering into.’”

Watch out for a mass blood drive orchestrated by America’s blood banks, Taylor says, “because their sources are running out, so they can use that human blood for sacrifices, they can use it for drinking it, or whatever it is they do.”

Imbecile. The dilettante loon knows nothing of Baalism.  Or anything.  Firefighters should fight fires, not talk about theology.  They’re awful at it.  So, Mark, here’s your Dilly, pentebabbleist nutbag.

Oh Robby, Your God is Too Small…

And someone needs to loan you a Bible- Because

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us… Eph 3:20

Disaster at Union Seminary

Union Seminary recently held a chapel service where its students could apologize to plants for their climate sins. Everything seemed to be going well as seminarians apologized for taking an Uber instead of walking, accidentally eating meat, and basically just existing at all.

But the touching proceedings soon took a turn for the worse. Xen Hapling, a freshperson at Union, approached a drooling giant venus flytrap and apologized for xis sins. “O great green viney one, I am sorry for all the methane I’ve released and for all the times I’ve spoken, releasing chemicals into the ai—AGGHHHH!”

The plant wasn’t having it and swallowed xim in one chomp. It then began a murderous rampage, locking the doors with its tendrils and devouring all the students at the chapel.

“DESTROY ALL HUMANS!” it bellowed as it ate student after student who had confessed all their climate sins. “LEAF US ALONE! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS! I DO NOT ACCEPT YOUR PITIFUL CARBON CREDITS, FOOLISH MORTALS!”

One Buddhist priest employed by the Christian seminary was cornered by the plant and begged for mercy.

“Please—I’ve not so much as killed a fly!” he whimpered.

“I HATE FLIES! AGGGGH!!!!” the plant cried before opening its powerful jaws and cleaving the priest in two. “DIE! DIE! DIE!”

Campus faculty say the event was a success, as there are now far fewer humans around to pollute the planet.

Christian Commitment: An Observation

After 59 years of life and 38 years of ministry I can now safely conclude that most people simply could not care less if the church existed or not.

Colt’s AR-15…

Gun-maker Colt is suspending its production of rifles for the civilian market including the popular AR-15, the company said Thursday in a shift it attributed to changes in consumer demand and a market already saturated with similar weapons.

The company said it will focus instead on fulfilling contracts with military and police customers for rifles.

“The fact of the matter is that over the last few years, the market for modern sporting rifles has experienced significant excess manufacturing capacity,” Colt’s chief executive officer, Dennis Veilleux, said in a written statement. “Given this level of manufacturing capacity, we believe there is adequate supply for modern sporting rifles for the foreseeable future.”

Veilleux said the company, which emerged from bankruptcy in 2016, remains committed to the Second Amendment. He said the company is expanding its lines of pistols and revolvers.

Despite a national debate on gun control, Colt’s decision seems driven by business considerations rather than politics, said Adam Winkler, a gun policy expert at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law.

FBI statistics show more than 2.3 million people applied for background checks to purchase guns in August, up from just over 1.8 million in July. Those applications, the best available statistic from tracking gun sales, has have been rising steadily, with a slight decline after Donald Trump was elected president in 2016, something call the “Trump slump.”

It won’t be long now till gun aficionado’s call for a boycott of colt. A gun maker. Oh the precious irony of it all.

Christians and ‘Tithing’

Tithing is where you give your money to the church; not where you spend your money on things for the church and call it a tithe.
If you buy something for the church, that’s called an offering. And if you buy something for the church and claim it’s a tithe, you’re just kidding yourself.

Calvin on the Mystery of the Divine Will

calvinThese, he says, are the mighty works of the Lord, perfected to his desires, and so wisely perfected that, when the angelic and human creation had sinned, that is had done not what God willed but what it itself willed, even through the same creaturely will by which was done what the Creator did not wish, he fulfilled what he willed, as the supreme good using even evil deeds well, for the damnation of those whom he justly predestined to punishment, and for the salvation of those whom he graciously predestined to grace.  — Calvin

That Face You Make When You’ve Been Called to the Pastorate…

Happy 119th Birth-iversary, Joachim Jeremias

jeremiasJoachim Jeremias was born on 20 September, 1900.  He is probably best known for his work on the Parables of Jesus and his book, Jerusalem in the Time of Jesus as well as his ‘Unknown Sayings of Jesus‘.  But he also wrote a very engaging Theology of the New Testament and many other books as well.  But, and I have to say this, his book ‘Abba‘ is one of my favorites along with Hat die Urkirche die Kindertaufe geübt?

If you read German, there’s a really lovely biography of Jeremias over on Wibilex (a brilliant, brilliant resource which you ought to bookmark- it has loads of things).  It notes

Joachim Jeremias gilt als einer der herausragendsten → historisch-kritischen Exegeten des 20. Jahrhunderts. Viele seiner Werke, z.B. „Jerusalem zur Zeit Jesu“, „Die Gleichnisse Jesu“, „Die Abendmahlsworte Jesu“, „Neutestamentliche Theologie. Teil 1. Die Verkündigung Jesu“, wurden in mehrere europäische und außereuropäische Sprachen übersetzt. Für seine Forschungen erhielt Jeremias zahlreiche nationale und internationale Ehren (Ehrendoktorwürde u.a. der Universitäten St. Andrews / Schottland [1955], Uppsala [1957] und Oxford [1963]; Burkitt-Medaille der Britischen Akademie London für Biblische Studien). Die Bedeutung seiner Arbeiten sprengt dabei nicht nur nationale, sondern auch konfessionelle Grenzen. Die ökumenische Breitenwirkung von Jeremias’ Forschung dauert bis heute an. So nannte Klaus Berger – freilich mit polemischer Zielrichtung – das Jesusbuch von Benedikt XVI. einen „Joachim Jeremias für Katholiken“ (die Tagespost 14.04.2007). Auch Jeremias’ Deutung der Wandlungsworte, das „für viele (vergossen)“ als Semitismus und damit inklusiv („für alle“) zu verstehen (Art.polloi, ThWNT 6, 1959, 536-545:543-545), fand Eingang in die katholische Liturgiereform und in das deutsche Messbuch – eine Entwicklung, die nun allerdings in der katholischen Kirche umstritten ist (Striet).

Vor allem aber für die Judaistik und Jesus-Forschung hat Jeremias Erhebliches geleistet, „auch wenn die kontrastiven Tendenzen in seiner Darstellung des Verhältnisses Jesus – Judentum heute problematisch erscheinen“ (RGG 424) und z.T. erbittert kritisiert wurden (E.P. Sanders). Von dieser Problematik zeugt z.B. Jeremias’ Deutung des Vaterunser als „Urgestein der Überlieferung Jesu“ (passim) (Philonenko, Vaterunser 35-43; Müller). Auch Jeremias’ durchgehend positive Würdigung des von Hermann Strack und Paul Billerbeck zusammengestellten „Kommentars zum Neuen Testament aus Talmud und Midrasch“, dessen Registerbände Jeremias mit herausgab (mit Adolph, K., Rabbinischer Index. Verzeichnis der Schriftgelehrten. Geographisches Register, München 1963), wird heute kaum noch geteilt (Schaller, Wege). Die Entdeckung und Auslegung neuer Quellen sowie die Etablierung neuer Bewertungsparadigmen führen die judaistische und die Jesusforschung weiter und fußen doch in vielerlei Hinsicht auf dem, was Jeremias und andere Forscher seiner Zeit als Grundstein gelegt haben.

Happy birth-iversary, Joachim.