Politicians Should Not Be Allowed Within 500 Miles of the Bible

They all distort it.  They are all dilettantes.

A new report performed by a coalition of Christian theologians confirmed Monday what many have already suspected: that the nation’s Democrats and Republicans are more divided than ever before over exactly how the Bible should be misinterpreted, misapplied, and misused to support their own political agenda.

The nation’s leftists and conservatives are drifting further and further apart as proponents of both worldviews grapple with how the Bible should be contorted in order to fit one’s political philosophy. While both Democrats and Republicans agree that the Bible should be ripped out of context at will in order to support one’s position, they couldn’t be further divided when it comes to exactly how the Bible should be exploited for political gain.

“While Democrats prefer to cite passages about treating the stranger and foreigner with compassion completely out of their original context, Republicans tend to focus on passages about obeying government authorities, while they themselves encourage dissent and resistance when given laws contradict the Bible,” said one researcher. “Although the left and the right have been split over many issues over the years, the deep divide over which Bible passages to cite and which to ignore in the midst of a given national policy debate represents perhaps the widest philosophical chasm we’ve seen between the two parties.”

Politicians are Ripe for Judgment

If you need proof that politicians are contemptible simply take note of their silence about the inhumane and godless mistreatment of children at the border until the ground swell of public opinion forced them to break silence. Were they truly moral people, they would have decried the evil when it first came to light. Period. Full stop. They are without excuse.

16 There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that hurry to run to evil,
19 a lying witness who testifies falsely,
and one who sows discord in a family.  (Prov 6)

America’s politicians are guilty of 7 of these.

Mom Be Praised; Dad Be Trashed

According to sources present at Calvary Chapel Free Grace’s Father’s Day service Sunday, Pastor Slater Mills absolutely slammed the congregation’s dads in his message, even though the pastor had breathlessly praised mothers for their selfless work in child-rearing just one month before.

The pastor who had preached a sermon called “Moms: God’s Best Gift” on Mother’s Day just one month ago “really let the dads have it” in a fiery message yesterday.

“Alright dads, buckle up, because I’m gonna lecture you for the next 30 minutes on why you’re all so terrible,” he began. “I’ve got a 42-point sermon lined up here, and each point is an ironclad argument for why every father today is a lazy, useless, selfish jerk. I don’t wanna see any of you all dozing off or checking scores on your phone, because you really need to hear this, you incompetent goofs.”

“I know this is going to go in one ear and out the other, because you are all so awful,” he continued before launching into his scathing address on the day designed to honor the nation’s fathers.

At publishing time, sources were also able to confirm that Pastor Mills had asked all the fathers in the congregation to stand and be recognized for the worthless oafs that they are.

It’s ‘funny’ because it’s true.

The Best Post You’ll Read on the Grotesque Misuse of Romans 13

One of the oldest methods of using biblical texts is ‘proof-texting’. This is when a specific text is used to legitimate or ‘prove’ a particular argument or position. The early Church fathers were fond of it and it can be frequently found in the writings of the Bible. It is therefore not surprising that most of the references to biblical texts today take this form. Particularly important texts are even referred to as ‘clobber texts’ (originally associated in relation to the homosexual debate) as they are known to deliver the knockout blow in a debate, thereby rendering the opposing side speechless. Follow any theological argument, whether that be abortion, sexual orientation, or female ministry (and countless others) and you will quickly begin to recognise each side’s favourite ‘clobber texts’.

Do go read the whole.

Conference Gender Balance at Refo500

Refo500 does a brilliant job of achieving gender balance at its conferences:

Here are the Annual RefoRC Conference 2019 keynote speakers:

  • Angela de Benedictis (Bologna): Theories of War, Revolt and Resistance in Early Modern Italy
  • Ian Campbell (Belfast): Early Modern University Debates on War and Religion
  • Irene Dingel (Mainz): TBA
  • Rebecca Giselbrecht (Zurich): Women at War – The Swiss Connections
  • Mark Greengrass (Sheffield): Wars of Religion in the Sixteenth Century and the Problem of Trust
  • Graeme Murdock (Dublin): TBA

So good on them.  More on the conference here.

Yup

“You must understand this, that in the last days distressing times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, brutes, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to the outward form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid them!” —  2 Ti 3:1–5.

Once More, No, Jesus Wasn’t a ‘Refugee’

DF Strauss observes of the ‘flight into Egypt’ (in his Life of Jesus Critically Examined, p.177)

There are loads of passages in the Bible which disallow the mistreatment of the refugee.  Making false claims about the life of Jesus of Nazareth in not only unnecessary, it is inappropriate.

This, by the way, is why theologians and ‘pundits’ need to be better biblical scholars, or be quiet.

On Those Who Aspire to Power

The aspirants to power can never bear the presence of virtue. For, being guilty of evil themselves, they are necessarily bitter against the virtue of others.  — John Calvin

Calvin is right- those who aspire to power despise virtue because in their quest for power they abandon it, do any evil they deem necessary, and sin.  This goes for every politician in this country and every mega church pastor and every person who wishes to dictate terms of life to others.  They will do whatever they can to achieve their goal.