With best friends like these, who needs enemies? An Iowa man says his dog inadvertently shot him while they were roughhousing Wednesday. Richard Remme, 51, of Fort Dodge, told police he was playing with his dog, Balew, on the couch and tossed the dog off his lap. He says when the pit bull-Labrador mix bounded back up, he must have disabled the safety on the gun in his belly band and stepped on the trigger. The gun fired, striking one of Remme’s legs. He was treated at a hospital and released later that day.
Iowa… of course. It had to be there or Texas.
Word from Atlanta is that SBL will begin, next year, charging by weight for the annual conference. When asked about the new pricing strategy sources stated
“We know that the receptions are the most popular part of SBL because of the food and booze and we think that bigger people need to pay bigger registration fees in the same way that bigger people sometimes have to purchase two seats on a plane. Accordingly, all registration will now be on site and registrants will be asked to squeeze between entry bars. The thinner they are, the less they will pay for registration.”
The source went on to say ‘off the record’, that there was ‘no reason the littles ought to pay what the bigs pay.’
SBL then revealed the size fencing to be used at the entrance to the receptions:
Attendees are strongly encouraged to drop pounds now- registration will begin at 90$ for the petite and skyrocket to 450$ for the largest attendees.
“In times of the greatest degeneracy and apostasy God has always had, and will have, a remnant faithful to him, some that keep their integrity and do not go down the stream.” – Matthew Henry
According to sources at the Johnson household, the Reformed family’s pathetic newborn Beverly couldn’t answer a single question out of the Westminster Shorter Catechism during family worship Wednesday evening.
The family patriarch began posing questions from the teaching tool to each of his nine children, and was reportedly “deeply disappointed” when the youngest of the bunch was unable to answer “even the easy questions.” The “total spiritual failure” was even baptized already, but still failed to answer a single question correctly.
“What is the chief end of man?” Mr. Johnson reportedly asked, to which little Beverly merely made a cooing sound. “That’s OK, we don’t always get it on the first try. Bev, what is the chief end of man? I’ll only ask you once more.” The newborn tilted her head and began to drool, causing Johnson to furrow his brow and shake his head. “WHAT IS THE CHIEF END OF MAN?”
“Do you think there’s something wrong with her? Maybe… maybe she’s not elect,” Johnson’s wife Hannah whispered to him as the man continued to grill the infant on various questions from the popular 17th century catechism.
At publishing time, the family reported that the two-month-old had shown her true colors as a vessel for wrath by obstinately refusing to sing along with the family’s a cappella rendition of Psalm 59.
Poor little kid. Clearly predestined for destruction….
North Point Community Church Senior Pastor Andy Stanley has stated that Christians need to “unhitch” the Old Testament from their faith. In the final part of a recent sermon series, Stanley explained that while he believes that the Old Testament is “divinely inspired,” it should not be “the go-to source regarding any behavior in the church.”
That’s what Marcion said, and the Church rejected it, and him. Put plainly, one CANNOT understand the New Testament without the Old and there is a LOT in the OT that is extremely valuable. Jettisoning it for the sake of some pseudo- Gospel is heresy. Damnable heresy. And Stanley is a damnable heretic.
James has announced:
Along with Alastair Lockhart specifically (and all the staff at the Panacea Charitable Trust generally), I’ll be running the Centre for the Critical Study of Apocalyptic and Millenarian Movements (CenSAMM). There is potential and resources to do loads of interesting things, particularly relating to open access and public engagement. I’ll be half here, half at St Mary’s in CSSSB where I’ll still be supervising PhD students, doing research, sitting at the High Table, conferencing etc. Lots more to follow over the next few years…
I’m so proud of this kid.
Let the viewer understand…