Why Read Scripture When You Can Color?

St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church prides itself on staying on the cutting edge of progressive theology and practice. This steadfast commitment is apparent in many aspects of the ministry’s church life, including its recent decision to remove all “toxic” pew Bibles and replace them with “life-giving” adult coloring books.

“I hadn’t seen anyone pick up one of those Bibles in decades, anyway,” Reverend Rachel Schuman said Tuesday. “And thank God for that! Those things are extremely problematic and multi-phobic, in so many ways.”

“Now we have these amazing pew books that allow parishioners to doodle and color—inside or outside the lines, we won’t judge—while the blessed soul-hug is being delivered from the pulpit. This new practice better matches the vibe of the service as well as our beliefs as a faith group—calming, therapeutic, affirming, delicate—a unique path and experience for each individual,” she added. “Namaste.”

The choice for pew Bible replacements came down to either the coloring book, a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul, or a handheld mirror, with the coloring book winning by vote. “We still may add the mirrors, though, right next to the coloring books,” Schuman revealed.

‘The Gospel Must Be True Or Christians Wouldn’t Have Died for It…’

People using the ‘the gospel must be true or people wouldn’t have died for it’ argument better be careful because that argument can also ‘prove’ the truth of Islam, Hinduism, and a whole range of beliefs few Christians would deem orthodox because people have died for those beliefs too.  Arguments cut both ways and shoddy arguments cut three.

The Stupid… It Burns… The Florida Woman Who Married a Tree

My reaction:

Karen Cooper was ready to go out on a limb to save her beloved, so she got married – to a tree. Specifically, a giant ficus that’s shaded Snell Family Park in Fort Myers for more than a century. The tree became the center of a neighborhood controversy when city staff began discussing cutting it down last year. Cooper, who lives nearby, began mobilizing to save it.  The News-Press reports effort that culminated with the waterfront nuptials Saturday, complete with flowers, music, a tree-decorated wedding cake and a canine ring-bearer named Little Bear.

Again, my reaction:

“It Would Be Better To Tie a Millstone Around Your Neck…”

Yet another ‘Christian’ showing the world that their ‘faith’ is morally meaningless:

The leader of a partner ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Tennessee resigned after an employee claimed he masturbated in front of her and the organization covered-up the repeated sexual and racial harassment.  James Finchum, the former executive director of Matthew 25, an organization helping homeless men, resigned in February, the Tennessean reported.  Further information was revealed in a federal lawsuit filed by “Jane Doe” against Finchum and Matthew 25.

The lawsuit claimed that in December of 2016, Finchum summoned the employee into his office, started to massage her after which he “grabbed Plaintiff’s hand and placed it on his groin area, through his pants.”  “He then unzipped his pants, exposed his penis to Plaintiff and masturbated in front of her,” the lawsuit claims.  The lawsuit also alleges that in April of 2016, Finchum “approached Plaintiff from behind and held himself against her buttocks and hunched against her until his pants became wet.”

Here’s a scripture for the entire species of ‘Christians’ who do things which bring dishonor on the Gospel-

Anyone who is the downfall of one of these little ones who have faith in me would be better drowned in the depths of the sea with a great millstone round his neck.  Alas for the world that there should be such causes of falling! Causes of falling indeed there must be, but alas for anyone who provides them!  (Matt. 18:6-7)

We Need Redemption, Because, Frankly, Idolatry is in our DNA

The retribution of God from heaven is being revealed against the ungodliness and injustice of human beings who in their injustice hold back the truth. For what can be known about God is perfectly plain to them, since God has made it plain to them: ever since the creation of the world, the invisible existence of God and his everlasting power have been clearly seen by the mind’s understanding of created things. And so these people have no excuse: they knew God and yet they did not honour him as God or give thanks to him, but their arguments became futile and their uncomprehending minds were darkened. While they claimed to be wise, in fact they were growing so stupid that they exchanged the glory of the immortal God for an imitation, for the image of a mortal human being, or of birds, or animals, or crawling things.

That is why God abandoned them in their inmost cravings to filthy practices of dishonouring their own bodies- because they exchanged God’s truth for a lie and have worshipped and served the creature instead of the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. That is why God abandoned them to degrading passions: why their women have exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural practices; and the men, in a similar fashion, too, giving up normal relations with women, are consumed with passion for each other, men doing shameful things with men and receiving in themselves due reward for their perversion.

In other words, since they would not consent to acknowledge God, God abandoned them to their unacceptable thoughts and indecent behaviour. And so now they are steeped in all sorts of injustice, rottenness, greed and malice; full of envy, murder, wrangling, treachery and spite, libellers, slanderers, enemies of God, rude, arrogant and boastful, enterprising in evil, rebellious to parents, without brains, honour, love or pity. They are well aware of God’s ordinance: that those who behave like this deserve to die — yet they not only do it, but even applaud others who do the same. (Rom. 1:18-32)

Paper Accepted

You’ll want to be at the Calvin Congress this August when I drop a bomb on the theological landscape with my paper on Zwingli.

It is my pleasure to inform you that your short paper proposal for the 2018 Calvin Congress in Philadelphia has been accepted. The organizers look forward to meeting you in Philadelphia!

My paper will be a bomb.  Or bomb.  Who can tell…  Whatever happens, it’s predestined.  So, come on out and watch the inevitable.  Date and time TBA.