In Pennsylvania They Want to Counteract Gun Violence… With… Buckets… of Rocks… For the Students to Throw…

Not. The. Onion.

One school superintendent has a novel way to keep his students safe from school shooters: arming them with rocks.

David Helsel, superintendent of a school district in northeast Pennsylvania, explained his plan to a legislative education committee last week, drawing a flurry of local media coverage.

“Every classroom has been equipped with a five-gallon bucket of river stone,” Helsel explained about his Blue Mountain School District in Schuylkill County outside Harrisburg, in a video broadcast by ABC affiliate 16 WNEP. “If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance into any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks and they will be stoned.”

I give up.  America is officially too stupid to continue.  Come finish us off, God.

2 thoughts on “In Pennsylvania They Want to Counteract Gun Violence… With… Buckets… of Rocks… For the Students to Throw…

  1. R. Shillaci 23 Mar 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Muslim students too? You know, they are dangerous with rocks!

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  2. Don 24 Mar 2018 at 2:29 am

    But seriously, in an active shooter situation, if you can’t run, if you can’t hide, then throw something–anything–at the shooter. Even, say, your phone.

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