Daily Archives: 19 Feb 2018

Spare the Rod, Provoke a School Shooting? Some People Are Beyond Stupid

Like this guy

Former South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andrew Bauer (R) on Sunday suggested that more students are committing mass shootings because they no longer receive paddlings from teachers or watch The Andy Griffith Show.

Not. The. Onion.  Are these Republicans mentally ill?

During a panel segment on CNN, Bauer explained that he did not expect Republicans to take action against guns after the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.

“We have a culture thing here that we’re not discussing,” Bauer insisted, shifting the topic away from gun control and the National Rifle Association (NRA). “When I grew up it was Andy Griffith. You never had school shootings and we still had prayer in school and we drove to school with guns in the car.”

“Today, we are in a different time,” he said. “The movie industry, the rap industry in general talks about these things that are common now and we have almost desensitized it. Now we have have to worry about kids eating Tide PODs. Instead of discipline — we go after parents who discipline their children. When I was in school, the principal had a paddle. It was called the Board of Education and he used it on all the students. We have changed the mindset today. It’s scary now that students would even contemplate this type of behavior.”

According to Bauer, the shootings can be blamed on “a cultural shift.”

Good grief.

The Pastor Who Enabled Andy Savage is Out

Larry Cotton has resigned.  Finally.

Larry Cotton, director of an internship program at The Austin Stone Community Church, an influential megachurch in Austin, Texas, has resigned for failing to report sexual abuse at a church he served in the past.

While associate pastor at The Woodlands Parkway Baptist Church (now known as Stonebridge Church) in the mid-1990s, Cotton learned that a youth pastor on staff had sexual contact with high school girl named Jules Woodson.

Cotton arranged for Andy Savage, the youth pastor, to leave the church quietly. He did not report the incident to police and allegedly advised the victim to keep her accusations to herself.

Savage later went on to become a megachurch pastor in Memphis. He admitted his misconduct after the victim revealed it in a blog post earlier this year.

Savage has denied his actions were illegal. His congregation, Highpoint Church, is investigatingSavage’s past conduct. The investigation will reportedly wrap up by March 1.

Cotton was suspended in January. He stepped down last week, saying he failed to protect Woodson.

“I now understand that I did not do enough to serve Jules and help her feel protected and cared for —I wish I had done more,” he said in his resignation letter.

“I understand that I failed to report the sexual abuse—I wish I had reported to the proper authorities. Even though it’s impossible, I wish I could go back in time and correct these mistakes.”

In a letter to the congregation, Austin Stone elders accepted Cotton’s resignation and said the church is reviewing its child safety procedures. Any abuse, they said, should be reported to the authorities.

“We continue to remain committed to ensuring the safety of victims and advocacy for individuals who have suffered abuse,” they wrote in the letter to the congregation.

“We strongly urge you to report to Child Protective Services or appropriate criminal authorities if you suspect the sexual abuse of a minor.”

Too bad he didn’t do that himself.

Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Keeping Neil DeGrasse-Tyson’s Mouth Shut

Despite offering thousands of thoughts and prayers to the victims of Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s latest flurry of moronic tweets, the nation’s religious people admitted at long last that their petitions were totally ineffective at preventing the pop astrophysicist from saying stupid things online.

Agnostics and atheists mocked religious people for offering “worthless” thoughts and prayers, rather than “doing something” about Tyson’s inane posts on the internet.

“Where is your god now?” one atheist sneered as it became obvious that thoughts and prayers simply weren’t enough to stop the flood of stupidity. “You guys talk about having this all powerful god, but if he’s so powerful, why hasn’t he stopped Neil DeGrasse Tyson from posting online?”

At publishing time, the nation had rallied around “common sense Neil DeGrasse Tyson tweet control,” to ensure he was unable to inflict massive damage on the nation’s intellect each and every day of the year.

He really does say stupid things.  Is he really as smart as his publicity rep wants us to believe?

Well That’s a Bad Vicar

Church of England vicar is caught on video ‘inhaling from a crack pipe and discussing prostitutes as he says ‘I’m a very happy man”

He misspelled depraved.

A Church of England vicar has apparently been caught on video inhaling from a crack pipe and discussing prostitutes. Footage seems to show the Rev Stennett Kirby, a vicar in East London, snorting cocaine and saying: ‘I’m a very happy man’.

The 64-year-old priest was seen sitting on a sofa with a friend and apparently watching porn and talking about escorts, according to The Sun on Sunday. Mr Kirby is the vicar of West Ham Parish Church in Stratford and has held the position since 2007. The video reportedly shows him lighting up a pipe and separately snorting powdered cocaine.  He is said to have talked about paying for a female escort, saying: ‘I wish I could. If I had money, I would. I’ve only got £10 left.’

One can only imagine how popular he will now become…

Plain Talk For Church Folk

What if…

What if everyone attended the way you attend?  Would Sunday School exist?  Would Sunday morning worship take place more than a couple of weeks a year or a couple of times a month?  Would Sunday evening worship take place at all?  Would Wednesday evening Bible study ever happen?

What if…

What if people gave what you give to the Church in terms of time, energy, and resources?  Would there be enough to keep the lights on?  Would there be enough to fund ministries in the community and around the world?  Would there be tithers or would there just be tippers if people gave what your give?

What if…

What if people prayed like you pray?  Would they pray just when they had a health problem or would they even think of people outside their family circle?  Would they pray for this Country and the other countries of the world or would they just pray for themselves?

What if…

What if people studied the Bible like you study the Bible?  Would they read it every day or would they read it not at all?  And beyond reading, would they really study it or would they really just ignore it and thus ignore a fuller understanding of the will of God for their lives?

What if…

What if every Christian were just like you?  What do you think the state of the Church would be?  What do you think the state of the Country would be?  What do you think the world would look like, if every Christian were just like you?

And what if…

And what if you decided, today, to be the most dedicated, devoted, committed Christian you could possibly be, and every Christian in the world were just like you?

Wisdom from the Ancient World

There are two types of people who commit sin after sin and a third who attracts retribution- desire, blazing like a furnace, will not die down until it has been sated- the man who lusts after members of his own family is not going to stop until he is quite burnt out; every food is sweet to the promiscuous, and he will not desist until he dies;  and the man who sins against the marriage bed and says to himself, ‘Who can see me? There is darkness all round me, the walls hide me, no one can see me, why should I worry? The Most High will not remember my sins.’ — (Sirach 23:16-18)