But that doesn’t stop people, even famous ones, from saying that he did… Please stop it.
Daily Archives: 3 Jan 2018
μή μου ἅπτου
In an altruistic act meant to help Americans currently being bombarded with extremely cold weather, Joel Osteen personally offered to warm up the entire country with his lungs’ nearly inexhaustible supply of hot air.
Osteen stated he would plant himself in the middle of the coldest parts of the country and simply begin preaching one of his feel-good messages, the hot air wooshing from his mouth being almost guaranteed to warm up everyone in the nation.
“Frankly, we’re likely to see some extreme heat after Osteen starts preaching one of his inspirational messages,” one climatologist told reporters. “We’re a little frightened of the possible effects on our fragile ecosystems.”
One projection suggested that a simple 30-minute message on Jeremiah 29:11 preached by Mr. Osteen would be enough to melt the northern polar ice cap, all of Antarctica, and even potentially the polar ice caps all the way over on the planet Mars.
At publishing time, the impressive show of hot air had compelled the showrunners of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade to get Joel Osteen on retainer for this November, so that he could blow up each float before the parade began.
If you, like me, and Jonathan, and James, and others, weren’t able to make it to Nottingham for SOTS 2018 Winter Meeting, you can keep up with what’s going on via twitter by following #SOTS2018, or by watching the SOTS facebook page- https://www.facebook.com/groups/24086983875/
Some great sounding papers have already been given.
“During the mid-1970s, John Howard Yoder embarked on an experiment in sexuality, devising his own guidelines and selecting his own subjects, whom he called ‘sisters.’ Following a three-year term as president of Goshen (Ind.) Biblical Seminary, he developed ‘the notion of a distinction between two dimensions of sexuality, the familiar and the genital.’ Yoder speculated that people plagued either by inhibitions about sexual intercourse or by promiscuity would have difficulty attaining what he termed ‘the freedom of the gospel,’ which he linked to Jesus’ encounters with women. In a series of essays that he circulated on the seminary campus and beyond, Yoder speculated about Jesus’ sexuality as a model for his disciples, for the men who followed in his path. Nearly two decades later, in 1992, a denominational task force established by leaders in Yoder’s congregation, Prairie Street Mennonite Church in Elkhart, Ind., confronted him with 13 charges of sexual abuse.”
It’s simply fascinating the twists and turns the mind will make in order to justify the most perverse behavior. If you want to see that kind of twisted mind in action, read the whole essay. Stunning. Not only because of what Yoder did, but because so many turned a blind eye to it.