And if you believe it is because some dilettantish ‘numerologists’ say so, you’re as unhinged as they are.
Daily Archives: 16 Sep 2017
Celebrating 40 years of Bible and Computer
The ETCBC (Eep Talstra Centre for Bible and Computer, VU Amsterdam) organizes its special anniversary celebration: ETCBC≥40. This will take place on 31 October 2017 with a special meeting featuring presentations by Talstra and others on the past four decades of “Bible and Computer”, current projects, and future directions in Biblical Studies and Digital Humanities, followed by an expert meeting on Bible Translation and Digital Humanities on 1 November. For more information see https://www.facebook.com/etcbc/
And fairly because Furtick is all about appearances- and just about that. Form over substance is elevated at ‘Elevation’. But that’s to be expected since it is essentially a personality cult.
A middle-aged homeless man who attempted to sit in the front row at Elevation Church’s Sunday service was quickly whisked away by security in order to ensure he would not be seen on the church’s social media videos and bring shame and embarrassment upon the ministry, several witnesses confirmed.
The man had reportedly come into the service hoping for a cup of coffee, and somehow made it past security and all the way up to the front of the sanctuary, right in the scope of view of the church’s state-of-the-art cameras.
“We’d like to remind all attendees that only those in fine dress should attempt to sit in the first ten rows, where our video equipment can see you,” Pastor Steven Furtick told the congregation after the incident. “If the outfit you’re wearing was purchased before last month and didn’t cost several hundred dollars minimum, not including the shoes, obviously, it’s the back row or the overflow room for you, OK guys? Thanks a bunch for your help.”
“It’s nothing personal. Poor people in shabby clothing just don’t fit well with our brand image, so they can stand over there in the back,” he added. “We want to offer God our very best.”
At publishing time, an attractive man in expensive-looking, trendy clothing had been upgraded to front-row seating to fill the vacant spot.
Right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein posted a video recently in which he suggested that God is opposed to the removal of Confederate monuments and is divinely intervening to prevent them from being taken down.
Discussing a decision by “communist” Dallas officials to remove a statue of Robert E. Lee from a city park, Bernstein said that the first crane brought in to do the job was too small, forcing the city to bring in a larger crane. After praising several companies for refusing to help the city with this effort, Bernstein noted that a larger crane was eventually found, but that it got into a fatal accident on its way to the job site.
“I don’t do a religious show,” Bernstein said, “but isn’t this a little odd that two attempts have been made to take down this statue and, for whatever reasons, they have not been successful—the second of which being a fatal accident. Is this divine intervention, folks? Is this maybe a sign from up above, saying you shouldn’t remove this statue?”
For the record, the statue was successfully removed last night.
Every time one of these pentebabbleist dilettantes ramble ignorantly an angel plunges itself head first into the core of the sun for relief.
After procuring a confession that he believed in the doctrine of biblical inerrancy and charging him with the capital crimes of dogmatism, closed-mindedness, and fundamentalism, authorities at St. John’s Episcopal Church condemned and then burned member Richard Livingston at the stake early Saturday in front of a cheering and sneering crowd.
“Die, wicked fundamentalist! You deserve this!” open-minded Episcopalians were heard yelling at the unrepentant man as he went up in flames. “Too bad you weren’t more open-minded and tolerant of heresies, untruths, ungrounded speculations, and other loosey-goosey opinions about the Bible!”
“I would say ‘burn in hell,’ if I believed the Bible when it says that such a place exists! But I emphatically do not!” another member was heard shouting.
After Livingston perished, St. John’s leadership revealed to reporters that he is the 37th church member they have executed for various crimes of doctrinal integrity this year, all by burning, “so the fire can cleanse and purge them of their wicked, historical, biblically sound theology.”
Church Reverend Ian Twist describes the stern sentences as necessary. “In antiquity it was the heretics who were punished—not anymore. We now understand apostasies and charlatans to be essential, life-giving pieces of the church family. Christianity has evolved as a fluid, pliable, inclusive life path, and we must weed out toxic, straight-and-narrow beliefs, like those held by the late Mr. Livingston.”
“We cannot and will not let the Scriptures get a foothold among our people,” he added.
Asked why membership at St. John’s and the Episcopal Church at large had been plummeting in recent years, Reverend Twist just shrugged.
“Mensch, du bist nicht von dir selbst entsprungen, sondern von dem ewigen und allmächtigen Gott…” — Johannes Tauler
You have a week to watch it on the PBS website. After that, I suppose they’ll sell you a DVD. As I’ve noted elsewhere, it’s worth watching even if it does have a few minor issues.
And it’s Jerry’s son, Jeffrey.
One of the sons of former Penn State football assistant coach Jerry Sandusky has pleaded guilty to 14 counts of child sexual abuse in Centre County, Pa.
The Centre Daily Times reports that the younger Sandusky was charged earlier this year:
“Jeffrey Sandusky was charged in February after state police at Rockview began an investigation when a 16-year-old known to Jeffrey Sandusky reported that he had sent the minor text messages asking for nude photos in March 2016. Another minor told police that Jeffrey Sandusky had asked her to perform sex acts on him when she was 15 years old, according to a release from the District Attorney’s Office.”
Due to go on trial next week, Sandusky, 41, pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors and 12 felonies in a deal with prosecutors, under which he would serve three to six years in prison. The judge isn’t bound by the deal and could sentence him to up to eight years.
Molested becomes molester. One has to wonder how far back in the family tree molestation goes, and how far it will reach into the future.
If a person is inclined to this behavior, it would be better if they hung a millstone around their neck and plunged themselves into the deepest sea than to act on that impulse.