In a strong show of opposition to the recently released Nashville Statement outlining a conservative biblical view of marriage and gender, the entirety of the nation’s liberal Christians got together Wednesday to draft and sign a document called “Christians Really United: In Support Of Polygamist Inclusion in the Church.”
After the release of the “progressive manifesto,” many celebrated by marching in the streets and protesting outside churches that currently consider polygamy and polyamory sinful, waving signs and banners and chanting sayings such as “You’re welcome in God’s house, with more than one spouse.”
“I mean, why not, you know? You do you,” one progressive leader said to reporters. “God made some people to desire more than one spouse. That’s how God made them, and He doesn’t make mistakes. And just because some fundamentalists cling to an ancient dogma promoting the heteronormative, patriarchal, binary, monogamous sexuality and gender paradigm, doesn’t mean that we enlightened ones will not follow the Spirit’s call to a sexual reformation in this new age.”
“We’ve gotten so far with inclusion of the LGBT+ folks, how can we possibly sit by and let the polygamous children of God suffer and wallow in shame, as lowbrows with toxic theology call them ‘sinners’ who need to ‘repent?’” she added, waving her banner.
At publishing time, an inebriated crowd of progressive protesters was set to go ahead and OK drunkenness also.
One error in the report: inebriation has long been an aspect of life on the far left. ProgChristians count alcohol to excess a sacrament.
Over 300 million citizens of the United States were given deportation notices by immigration officials after various Native American tribes rescinded a centuries-old “Dream Act,” which allowed descendants of illegal European immigrants to stay in the country.
Americans will be asked to pack up and move back to the various parts of the world they came from after a 90-day grace period, according to reports.
“Frankly, we should have done this sooner,” a spokesperson for the band of natives said. “The deaths of Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, the Trail of Tears—all these atrocities and more just show how dangerous illegal immigrants can be.”
“Sure, it may be just a few bad apples, but we can’t take any chances,” he added.
At publishing time, Native American tribes had begun erecting a large wall on all sides of the United States in order to keep “undesirable” European immigrants from sneaking across the border.
And there you have it. Trump and his witless policies eviscerated in one brief satire.
The Eighth Annual RefoRC Conference is hosted by the University of Warsaw and will take place May 24-26, 2018
Theme of Plenary Lectures: Reformation and Education
The Reformation was closely tied to the renovation of educational models from its very beginning. By questioning the model of the medieval university and establishing new pedagogical solutions, early modern scholars and teachers shaped subsequent generations of clergy and laity, enabling them to work for their local communities and engage in the public sphere. Often these educational agendas went well beyond changes in curricula and were oriented towards much deeper goals, such as the shaping of confessional identity or the achieving of universal religious peace through the advancement of learning. As one of the leading research and educational institutions in Poland and East-Central Europe, the University of Warsaw is the perfect venue to ask further questions about the complex relations between early modern religious and pedagogical reforms. The plenary papers will offer a multi-faceted approach to this topic and will be accompanied by a series of short papers discussing all kinds of subjects related to the history of the Reformation. The aim of the conference is thus to broaden and contextualize the intersections between religious and educational reform.
And more here.
Sources from around the nation confirmed Wednesday that the increasingly secular culture that believes it is foolish to worship the sovereign Lord of all creation is still worshiping pop singer Beyonce.
When reached for comment, the country that worships the pop icon nonetheless expressed its apathy toward worshiping the Almighty God who formed the universe.
“Devoting your life to some Jewish rabbi from the first century is totally illogical,” one woman said when reached for comment, as she scrolled through dozens of articles celebrating Beyonce’s birthday Monday. “Anyway, Beyonce is just so amazing. She sings AND she dances. Ugh. I literally can’t even with her.”
“All hail Queen Bey!” she then tweeted.
At publishing time, the increasingly irreligious nation had further confirmed its unending devotion to various football franchises.
Yup. Pretty much. Yup.
Sunday the sermon was sluggish,
’Twas hard attention to keep.
The theme was faultily chosen,
It almost put me to sleep.
Monday was blue with sheer boredom;
Tuesday was carnal by choice.
Wednesday my conscience was wakened
By pleas from a still, small voice.
Prayer meeting left me uplifted,
Loyalty lingering long.
Thursday my heart was responding;
Friday His nudging was strong.
I came to thorough repentance
The following Saturday;
I yielded in full surrender
As all on the altar I lay.
Sunday the sermon was perfect,
Superb and quite at its peak;
Amazing how greatly that pastor
Improved in the space of one week!
—R. W. de Haan
Having explored the socio-political status of former slaves (the apeleutheroi or ‘freedpersons’) and the function of manumission within the Roman world (parts 1, 2, 3 and 4), Isabella Wray begins to address Paul’s use of apeleutheros within the context of the Corinthian community. One of the things that intrigued Isabella is that, although Paul frequently refers to slavery, liberation and being free, he only uses the term apeleutheros once (1 Corinthians 7: 22) – fans of University Challenge will know that a singular instance of a word in a text or corpus is sometimes referred to as a ‘hapax legomenon’.
Isabella is a graduand ofNewman University (graduating in October 2017) and we are very grateful for her generosity in allowing us to post excerpts from her BA dissertation.
View original post 1,102 more words
Pew Research reports
- About half of U.S. Protestants (52%) say both good deeds and faith in God are needed to get into heaven, a historically Catholic position. The other half (46%) say that faith alone is needed to attain salvation.
- U.S. Protestants also are split on another issue that played a key role in the Reformation: 46% say the Bible provides all the religious guidance Christians need, a traditionally Protestant belief known as sola scriptura. But 52% say Christians should look for guidance from church teachings and traditions as well as from the Bible, the position held by the Catholic Church.
- Just 30% of all U.S. Protestants affirm both sola fide and sola scriptura.
- However, belief in sola fide and sola scriptura is much more prevalent among white evangelical Protestants than among white mainline Protestants or black Protestants in the United States. Among self-identified white evangelicals, 44% express both convictions, and this figure rises to 59% among white evangelicals who say they attend church at least once a week.
- In a series of multiple-choice questions, most U.S. adults (65%) correctly identify the Reformation as the term commonly used to refer to the historical period in which Protestants broke away from the Catholic Church. And a similar share (67%) correctly identify Martin Luther as the person whose writings and actions inspired the Reformation. Far fewer (23%) know that only Protestants traditionally teach that salvation comes through faith alone; 45% erroneously say both Protestantism and Catholicism traditionally hold that position, while 19% say neither religious tradition espouses sola fide, and one-in-ten U.S. adults (11%) say only Catholicism traditionally teaches that salvation comes through faith alone.
- Views on sola fide are tied to levels of knowledge about it. Among U.S. Protestants, knowing that only Protestantism traditionally teaches that salvation comes through faith alone is closely linked with believing that salvation comes through faith alone. Among Protestants who know that only Protestantism traditionally teaches that salvation comes through faith alone, about three-quarters (77%) embrace the concept of sola fide. But among the much larger share of Protestants who are not aware that sola fide is solely a Protestant teaching, far fewer (35%) believe that faith is all that is needed to get into heaven.
Luther, Calvin, and Zwingli pretty much wasted their time when it comes to modern American Christianity… bless ’em. I know how they feel… Anyway, read the whole depressing report.
Here’s a great piece in the NZZ on the importance of Erasmus.
Erasmus von Rotterdam war nie in Zürich. Und trotzdem hat er an der Limmat seine Spuren hinterlassen. Mehr noch: Ohne ihn wäre die Zürcher Reformation wohl kaum so verlaufen, wie sie verlaufen ist. Vor rund zehn Jahren haben die Historiker Christine Christ-von Wedel und Urs B. Leu in einer Publikation betont, dass Erasmus von Rotterdam in allen Facetten seines kühnen, zugleich aber auch toleranten und einfühlsamen Denkens im Zürich der Reformationszeit allgegenwärtig gewesen sei.
Der Geist der Renaissance, den Erasmus repräsentiert wie kein Zweiter, wehte auch in Zürich. Erasmus hatte hier eine ganze Schar von Verehrern. Die Zürcher haben ihm sogar das Bürgerrecht angetragen – er allerdings lehnte es dankend ab. Man darf durchaus so weit gehen, seinen Einfluss als das Markenzeichen der Zürcher Reformation zu bezeichnen. Es war nicht Zwingli allein, der die Zürcher Reformation geprägt hat, es war eine besondere Konstellation.
We must not only do good to them that are familiar with us, but to them also whom we did never see before, in keeping hospitality for wayfaring strangers, so far as our substance will stretch to maintain it. For if otherwise thy wealth be slender, as that it will do no more but maintain thine own house and family, no parcel of God’s law doth bind or bid thee to distribute to other men the wealth which thou thyself dost need as much or more than they.
It is sufficient for thee to provide that they of thine own household be not a burden to other men’s backs. So then the man, whose wealth is small, is not compelled to spend that little which he hath in doing honour or shewing courtesy to other men: it is enough for him to bear with a valiant heart his own hard hap, and to take heed that his poverty procure him not to offend against right and honesty.
What does Bullinger mean? If you have the resources, help others. If you don’t, be sure you maintain your family so as not to be a burden to others so that they can aid the truly needy.