Zwinglius Redivivus

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Finally- Something to Keep Baylor’s Male Athletes in Check

In a move that is sure to be cheered by Baptist schools and colleges across the nation, Nike introduced Monday a floor-length denim basketball skirt for female basketball players of the Baptist tradition.

“While activewear across the industry is trending toward smaller and smaller articles of clothing, we value our Baptist customers who like to keep covered from head to toe, believing that skin is sin and modest is hottest,” a statement from Nike accompanying the product release said. “The very heavy yet somewhat breathable denim ensures you will be as comfortable as always, while the extreme length ensures that only the tips of your sneakers will be visible to any carnal eyes in the audience.”

At publishing time, a Nike spokesman confirmed that the company is in the process of developing a line of long-sleeve basketball jersey sweaters to accompany the skirts.


Written by Jim

4 Sep 2017 at 1:10 pm

Posted in Modern Culture