The Bee Stings the #NashvilleStatement Angst on Display

After numerous prominent Christians and everyday believers alike signed the Nashville Statement affirming basic Christian doctrine held with rare exception for 2,000 years, progressives across the nation flooded the internet in droves to voice their horror and disgust at the shocking set of beliefs.

“I can’t believe these people would just come out and blatantly state something Christians have unflinchingly agreed on for millennia,” one liberal Christian wrote on Twitter. “It’s absolutely beyond callous.”

“I literally just can’t even,” she added later.

Secular humanist scholar Zeke Reddington agreed, stating on his Patheos blog that for Christians to publicly affirm historically Christian ideas was “unthinkable.”

“It’s 2017, for crying out loud. I can’t believe we have to deal with people who disagree with us in the current year!” he wrote in his insightful 8,000-word blog post.

At publishing time, the many bigoted backers of the Nashville Statement had still refused to apologize for their horrific act of affirming beliefs that most progressive Christians evolved beyond at least two or three years ago.

It’s funny because it’s true.  And if you want to read my view on the Statement, feel free to do so here.

The Bee Mocks the Always Ridiculous Jim Bakker and His Threat of Civil War

In a stern warning to anti-Trumpers nationwide, televangelist Jim Bakker warned on his show Tuesday that all six people who are somehow still following him will “come out of the shadows” and start a civil war if President Trump happens to be impeached.

“If [Trump is impeached], I predict that every single one of the half-dozen people who still pay attention to me will rise up, and there will be a civil war in the United States of America,” said the prosperity gospel fixture from the 1980s, whose sex scandals and subsequent five-year prison sentence for fraud and conspiracy revealed him to be a charlatan to everyone on earth except roughly five or six people, depending on the day.

“I’ll tell you what—if my mistresses were to join in, that number would easily double, and then the liberals would have a real fight on their hands,” he added ominously.

Bakker went on to assure his listeners that a global catastrophe was near, explaining that they needed to immediately purchase the Jim Bakker Tasty Deluxe End Times Nachos Plus Dessert Bucket, which contains 14,789 servings and has a shelf life of 60 years, for a donation of only $7,900.

And that, my friends, sums Bakker up.

Jonathan Edwards’ Admonition to Congregations

If Christ gives you a minister that is a burning and shining light, take heed that you do not hate the light, because your deeds are reproved by it; but love and rejoice in his light; and that not only for a season, like John the Baptist’s apostatizing hearers: and come to the light. Let your frequent resort be to your minister for instruction in soul cases, and under all spiritual difficulties; and be open to the light and willing to receive it; and be obedient to it. — Jonathan Edwards

Sad News: Douglas Templeton has Died

Dr Douglas A. Templeton RIP

Colleagues will be saddened to learn of the death last week of Dr Douglas Templeton, former Senior Lecturer in New Testament at New College, Edinburgh. Aside from stories of bringing his dog to lectures, he is best known for his remarkable book, The New Testament as True Fiction: Literature, Literary Criticism, Aesthetics (Sheffield, 1999).

In this volume, he writes: “Ms [Barbara] Cartland…has written some 300 texts, 21 of these in 1976, 24 in 1977 (it is at this kind of productivity that the Research Assessment Exercise is aimed, though the mark is sometimes missed).”

Douglas will be missed by all who knew him.

Dr Paul Middleton
Secretary, The British New Testament Society

Stetzer Defends Osteen…

Apparently the fact that Osteen is a heretic doesn’t bother Ed.  But then of course Ed has his own problems with living the high life too, so maybe he and Osteen have more in common than we know.

By the way, the title of his silly essay is completely wrongheaded.  People opposed to Osteen don’t hate him.  They hate deception.  Saying they hate him is like saying Doctors hate the person who has cancer but not the cancer.  Heresy is a cancer in the body of Christ and cutting it out is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing.

So, Ed, maybe instead of writing a rag piece which misses the point altogether, maybe go on another luxury vacation.