Zwinglius Redivivus

Nihil salvum esse potest, donec rabies. – John Calvin

Archive for August 8th, 2017

How to Structure A ‘Successful’ Youth ‘Ministry’

Via the Bee

We consulted with thousands of biblical scholars and asked them what the most important elements of a biblical youth group are, and this is what they came up with. Don’t get mad at us; we’re just reporting the facts.

1.) A fully stocked video game arcade. Lame youth groups might have a busted old Ms. Pac-Man cabinet or Donkey Kong arcade machine gathering dust in the corner. You need to rise above the chaff with the very latest arcade games, ones that are only out in Japan and you’ve got to have them specially imported for tens of thousands of dollars. It’s the only way to show that you truly care about the souls of your youngsters.

2.) Wacky biblical games like spin the bottle and chubby bunny. What better way to train up your kids in the way they should go than playing some spin the bottle, steal the bacon, or chubby bunny?

3.) A youth pastor you can’t tell apart from the youth. Your youth pastor should blend in perfectly, showcasing a Sherlock Holmes-level mastery of disguise. He needs to infiltrate the group carefully, gaining the trust of the natives before they’ll ever listen to his life lessons and messages ripped straight from the latest issue of Game Informer or Teen Vogue.

4.) Summer missions trips to idyllic locations. Your entire goal here is to get the kids to feel good about themselves. So send them off to the Caribbean to build a new youth building for a poor church somewhere, whether or not the church actually wants the shoddy building your kids will slap together in a few days before going off to explore the exotic tropical beaches.

5.) Bus rides filled with more drama than an HBO miniseries. You know your youth ministry is effective if bus trips to summer camp feature no less than 250 break-ups, DTRs, and dramatic cat-fights. This is powerful evidence that your attempt to disciple your youth is paying off in a big way.

6.) A worship band with eighteen electric guitar players on rotation and one bassist. A biblical youth worship band has between one and two dozen guitar players playing a Fender Stratocaster on their rotation, and only one bassist on their roster. Chicks dig the guitar players, especially the ones with 49 pedals.

7.) Glow stick worship raves, like King David used to throw. Have your worship band bump up the jam with some biblical party rock penned by theologians like Kesha or LMFAO, crack some glow sticks, and toss ’em into the crowd. Watch the Spirit move, baby!

8.) Total lack of anything resembling the boring main service. If you want your youth to one day grow up to be faithful church members (and let’s be honest here: tithers), you’ve got to pull off the ol’ bait-and-switch. Make them think Christianity is 100% fun and games, or else they may slip through your fingers when it comes time for them to graduate to real church.

Now get out there and use the methods of the world to bring the youth into the Kingdom!

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 4:15 pm

Have Archaeologists Found the Home of Peter, Philip, and Andrew?

Nope.  It’s just another one of the many exaggerated claims that fly around.  Indeed, the story doesn’t match the headline.  Here’s the headline:

The Lost Home of Jesus’ Apostles Has Just Been Found, Archaeologists Say

Here’s the opening of the story:

Archaeologists think they may have found the lost Roman city of Julias, the home of three apostles of Jesus: Peter, Andrew and Philip (John 1:44; 12:21). A multi-layered site discovered on the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee, in the Bethsaida Valley Nature Reserve, is the spot, the team believes.  The key discovery is of an advanced Roman-style bathhouse. That in and of itself indicates that there had been a city there, not just a fishing village, Dr. Mordechai Aviam of Kinneret College told Haaretz.

Speculation in the guise of reporting.

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 3:14 pm

Posted in Archaeology

I Hope This Isn’t True, But I Suspect It Is…

Because the man is insane and can’t go on without constant praise-

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 2:48 pm

Posted in Modern Culture

Nope

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 1:08 pm

News From Hendrickson

And more.

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 1:04 pm

How To Make Zwingli Sausage

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 11:32 am

Posted in Modern Culture

Something For the Reformation Jubilee

Here:

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 9:01 am

Posted in Church History

Bought with a price: Paul and manumission – Student dissertation (part 3)

The series continues…

Newman Research Centre for the Bible and its Reception

In parts oneand twoof Isabella Wray‘s dissertation (BA) exploring Paul’s use of the term ‘feedman’ (ἀπελεύθερος – apeleutheros) in 1 Corinthians 7:22, Isabella has drawn our attention to the importance of status within Roman society. She makes the point that how one was even treated in the law courts was dependent upon one’s status and rightly noted that this would have informed Paul’s instruction against their use for disputes among assembly members (1 Corinthians 6:1-6).

Furthermore, the relatively recent re-establishment of Corinth created a rather unique environment which resulted in some of the legal obstructions to influential civic/political posts being lifted – even to those who were once slaves. The lure of upward mobility in Corinth was a very tangible and visible possibility; even someone who was a slave could rise up the social ladder, command respect of their peers, and acquire great wealth and…

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Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 8:17 am

Posted in Modern Culture

The Oxford Theolgy Faculty is Blogging

Check it out.

Written by Jim

8 Aug 2017 at 8:13 am

Posted in Modern Culture