The Bee Stings the Unbeliever’s Love of Good Friday Off…

Teachers and students in the Mecklenburg County Community Schools will not be in school Friday, but the official day off has nothing to do with Jesus Christ or Good Friday, according to a statement released on the school system’s website.

“For absolutely no reason whatsoever, we are taking an arbitrary break that though correlates in time, is in no way related to the traditional Christian celebration of Jesus’s death and resurrection,” the statement reads. “There is also no association with the Jewish holiday of Passover. This break in no way celebrates or even acknowledges any religion, or that religions exist, or that people are religious. Or anything about God whatsoever.”

When asked about the coincidence in the comments section, a school spokesperson responded, “Oh, did that happen again? Our Spring Break always seems to fall on that day. Total accident.”

The spokesperson added she expects the schools’ Winter Break to arbitrarily and inadvertently occur at the same time as the celebration of Jesus’s birth, but the vacation days will have “absolutely nothing” to do with Christmas.

Bravo.

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