RSS

Yeah That Pretty Much Sums it Up

02 Jan

The leather-bound Bible owned by local man Kurt Ryder for over ten years reported Sunday that it was “super pumped” to participate in Ryder’s resolution to read his Bible every day, until he inevitably shelves it in the latter half of the first week of January, sources confirmed.

“It’s such an honor to open my sacred pages to Ryder, so he can get through around a quarter of Genesis before abandoning his attempt to read through me,” the Bible said in a statement. “Our time together is precious—I wait almost twelve months for this week every year.”

“Any second now. It’s devo time!” it added.

The printing of the Scriptures also stated it was hopeful that Ryder would make it all the way to Exodus this year.

“I have a feeling this year’s going to be special. I don’t want to jinx it, but we could even sniff Leviticus,” the Scriptures said excitedly, though it admitted that Ryder’s making it through the third book of the Pentateuch would be a “pipe dream.”

Don’t let your Bible be sad.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on 02/01/2017 in Modern Culture

 

Leave a Reply, but it will be moderated

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s