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If Your Church Cancelled Services Christmas Day… And you Were Happy About It…

27 Dec
  • Go ahead and cancel on Easter too.  Why not?  What possible reason could you have for meeting on the day on which real Christians celebrate the resurrection when you didn’t think it mattered to meet on the day on which real Christians celebrate his birth?
  • When your pastor enquires as to your absence from the fellowship during the year, just tell him that you wanted to ‘spend time with your family’.  He told you that family mattered more than God on Christmas so surely family matters more than God all the rest of the time too.
  • Build an image of your grandpa and put it in your living room.  Family is your ‘god’, so go all out and follow through with actual adoration.
  • Just go ahead and leave the Church.  You already have in spirit, you might as well in truth.  And don’t worry, it won’t miss you.  You weren’t living for God anyway and with your pseudo-committed self out of the way, the Church will be less scorned and fewer people will be able to complain about ‘the hypocrites in the Church.’

The silly notion that ‘the Church needs you’ is an invention of your own overly fermented imagination.  You need the Church, it doesn’t need you.  You need Christ, but rest assured, Christ doesn’t need you.  He got along quite well without you before you came along and he will get along quite well without you when you’re dead.

In the meanwhile, check your priorities.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on 27/12/2016 in mockery

 

One response to “If Your Church Cancelled Services Christmas Day… And you Were Happy About It…

  1. Ken Leonard

    27/12/2016 at 4:35 pm

    Re: #2.

    I doubt that the pastors of such churches bother to inquire about absences.

    Like

     

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