Daily Archives: 20 Dec 2016

Martin Luther Responds to Lena Dunham

Dunham recently remarked that she wished she’d had an abortion.  Luther responds-

You act and speak as a bride of the devil, expressing what the devil inspires. All blasphemous words of this kind are nothing but childish, mad, sacrilegious ideas, and lies which are not worthy of answer. – Martin Luther

Those Who Not Only Do Wrong, But Applaud it in Others: An Observation

Since they would not consent to acknowledge God, God abandoned them to their unacceptable thoughts and indecent behaviour.  And so now they are steeped in all sorts of injustice, rottenness, greed and malice; full of envy, murder, wrangling, treachery and spite, libellers, slanderers, enemies of God, rude, arrogant and boastful, enterprising in evil, rebellious to parents, without brains, honour, love or pity.  They are well aware of God’s ordinance: that those who behave like this deserve to die — yet they not only do it, but even applaud others who do the same. – St. Paul

Let those with actual ears, actually hear…

Your lord, Satan, Applauds You, Millennial

Your self absorption is astonishing and your ability to make absolutely everything about you is demonic.

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At any rate, your lord, Satan, applauds you.

The Bee Stings the Christmas Day Worship Cancelling Churches

Citing the great reverence and honor due the Lord Jesus on the traditional day celebrating His incarnation, Mt. Moriah Baptist Church confirmed Tuesday that worship service would be cancelled on Christmas morning.

“We want to show respect and adoration to our Lord on the day commemorating His birth,” pastor Kyle Redding told reporters. “So we’ll be calling off all the services in which we usually sing praises to Him and study His Word, in order that He’ll be more glorified.”

“Also, I’ll get to play with my new iPad that I just know my wife, Kate, got me. I felt the package. I’m pretty sure it’s the Pro edition.” Redding further stated he was pretty sure this is what Jesus would want on the day marking His taking on flesh and coming into the world to save His people from their sins.

“I can think of nothing more worshipful on the Lord’s Day than foregoing worship services in order to tear into gift after gift after gift from under our ornate tree.”

At publishing time, Mt. Moriah Baptist leaders had confirmed that they would be carefully gauging the success of the initiative designed to increase adoration of Jesus by cancelling church, and would consider the cancellation of services that land on other traditional holidays like Easter, Independence Day, and Earth Day, should the Christmas cancellation prove popular.

The absurdity of cancelling services on Sunday just because that’s the day Christmas falls is obvious to anyone with a brain.  Or even two brain cells.

Cats Are Evil

Via Jona L.

The Perfect Santa: Liam Neeson

This is my kind of Santa…

They’ve Found More ‘Dead Sea Scrolls’

But they can’t even tell what language they’re in or what they contain.  So, they’ve found bits of scrap.  Yay.  It’s only news because it’s Christmas and the ‘Bible has been proven to be right, again, by archaeology’ crowd eats this sort of thing up, book tours to Israel, and boosts the tourism economy.

New fragments of the Dead Sea Scrolls have been found in the Cave of the Skulls by the Dead Sea in Israel, in a salvation excavation by Israeli authorities. The pieces are small and the writing on them is too faded to make out without advanced analysis. At this stage the archaeologists aren’t even sure if they’re written in ancient Hebrew, Aramaic or another language.

Oh boy!  This discovery changes absolutely nothing at all even remotely so it had to be announced!!!  But wait, there’s more!

“The most important thing that can come out of these fragments is if we can connect them with other documents that were looted from the Judean Desert, and that have no known provenance,” says Dr. Uri Davidovich of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, among the scientists investigating the caves.

Ah yes, if even the most tenuous connection can be found it will prove…  something important I’m sure…  But wait, there’s more!!!!

The latest finds, two papyri fragments about two by two centimeters with writing and several fragments without discernible letters, were made during a three-week salvage excavation in the Cave of the Skulls this May and June by a joint expedition of the Israel Antiquities Authority and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. The excavations were led by Uri Davidovich and Roi Porat of the Hebrew University, together with Amir Ganor and Eitan Klein from the IAA.

That’s right campers, they’ve had them since May and June and still can’t read them but since it’s Christmas they have to be announced!  Glory!  But wait, there’s still more!!!!

The renewed excavations in the Cave of the Skulls is just the first step in a new project of the IAA and the Hebrew University to continue exploring the Judean Desert caves, to salvage hidden treasures that might still lay in the caves, at least before robbers get there first. “We have all the reasons to believe that there are still scrolls hidden,” Davidovich says. “Several documents from the Roman times and even from the Iron Age have surfaced in recent years in the antiquities market. They must have originated in the Judean Desert caves.”

Yes, there must still be scrolls there and we have to loot them from the Palestinians first (since Qumran is in Palestinian Authority land) before other looters get their Arab hands on them!  The looters have to beat the looters to the loot…

From the Sublime (Zurich) to the Ridiculous (A ‘Pagan Priest’ With Horns)

831c04cfdd924fa5badeccdc8c29bc5eAn ordained Pagan priest finally has gotten the OK to sport goat horns in his Maine driver’s license photo. Maine resident Phelan Moonsong said that unless he’s sleeping or bathing, he always wears his goat horns, which serve as his spiritual antennae and help him educate others about Paganism. But Moonsong is questioning why he had to appeal his driver license’s photo to the state after explaining his religious beliefs to Bureau of Motor Vehicle staff. Plus, he adds, the horns didn’t obstruct his face.

The Maine Secretary of State’s office said the state was not familiar with his choice of headdress and had asked Moonsong for more information to review the issue. A spokeswoman said the state allowed the goat horns because Moonsong cited their religious purposes and also because they didn’t obstruct his face. Maine motor vehicle staff can hold license photos for review if they have a concern about religious headdress.

Moonsong said after he applied for an updated driver’s license in August and explained his religion to a motor vehicles employee, he was told to appeal his photo to the Secretary of State’s office. He said he provided more information to the Secretary of State’s office. But when he contacted the Bureau of Motor Vehicles in late November, he said he was told his ID was rejected — which was news to him. Moonsong then filled out an application for legal assistance from the American Civil Liberties Union, which recently told him it was unable to take his case.

“What I was requesting should have been accepted according to what was written in statute and in guidelines,” he said.  It should be no different than a nun wearing a habit, or a Sikh wearing a Turban, Moonsong said.

Nope.  Not the same at all.  Maine… that’s what happens when most of your citizens are weird.

A Year of Zurich Books in Review

Over at the Zurich NT Blog they’ve listed various of the projects they’ve engaged in throughout the year and the volumes those projects produced.

Given that Christmas is just around the corner, I thought that for some of you it might be interesting to get an annotated list of the books we have published this year – just in case you still need some last-minute entries for your wish list …

Etc.

Arrived for Review

The reviews won’t post here because I’ve agreed to write them for Reviews in Religion and Theology (Cambridge).  So watch for them there next year.  Both books look pretty engaging.  Especially the Luther fun.

The Latest Issue of JBL is Out…

  • Expanding Ecological Hermeneutics: The Case for Ecolonialism, Tina Dykesteen Nilsen and Anna Rebecca Solevåg, abstract
  • A Study in Scarlet: The Physiology and Treatment of Blood, Breath, and Fish in Ancient Israel, Richard Whitekettle, abstract
  • The Ground That Opened Its Mouth: The Ground’s Response to Human Violence in Genesis 4, Mari Jørstad, abstract
  • Different Dreams: Two Models of Interpretation for Three Pairs of Dreams (Genesis 37–50), Jonathan Grossman, abstract
  • The Poles of the Ark: On the Ins and Outs of a Textual Contradiction
    Raanan Eichler
    abstract
  • Sing Me a Parable of Zion: Isaiah’s Vineyard (5:1–7) and Its Relation to the “Daughter Zion” Tradition, Rebecca W. Poe Hays, abstract
  • Walk, Don’t Run: Jesus’s Water Walking Is Unparalleled in Greco-Roman Mythology, Brian D. McPhee, abstract
  • Cruciform Discipleship: The Narrative Function of the Women in Mark 15–16 , Jeffrey W. Aernie, abstract
  • What Is Opened in Luke 24:45, the Mind or the Scriptures? , Joshua L. Mann, abstract
  • Acts 9:1–9, 22:6–11, 26:12–18: Paul and Ezekiel , Dale C. Allison Jr., abstract
  • [Gune tou Patros]: Analytic Kin Circumlocution and the Case for Corinthian Adultery, Joshua M. Reno, abstract
  • An Armenian Fragment of the Gospel of Mark in the Erkat‘agir Script: With a Note on Its Codicological Reconstruction, Alin Suciu, abstract
  • The Apocalypse in Codex Alexandrinus: Exegetical Reasoning and Singular Readings in New Testament Greek Manuscripts, Garrick V. Allen, abstract

And people say biblical scholarship is irrelevant….

“Große Teile des Volkes sind dumm”

True is true….

Nicht zufällig gehörte die rechtsnationale Politikerin Marine Le Pen zu den ersten, die Donald Trump zu seinem Sieg bei der Präsidentschaftswahl in den USA gratulierten. Weltweit scheint der Populismus auf der Erfolgsspur. Lässt sich daraus auf ein Versagen der bisherigen Eliten schließen? Nicht automatisch, meint der Politikwissenschaftler Herfried Münkler.

Man müsse anerkennen, dass es große Teile des Volkes gebe, “die sind nicht besonders informiert, geben sich auch keine Mühe, glauben aber dafür umso besser genau zu wissen, was der Fall ist. Also: sie sind dumm.” Das heiße aber nicht, dass man sie nicht klüger machen könne. Und das sei die Aufgabe der Eliten.

Read the interview, and weep.  Because he’s right.

The Day Katie Luther Died

katieDecember 20, 1552: Katie Luther dies in the city of Torgau, Germany, just one month shy of her 54th birthday.

Life after the death of Martin had not been easy for Katie. Friends claiming to look out for her family tried to take her sons away from her. Wars and the plague had made her flee from her home at the Black Cloister more than once. Soldiers had destroyed the crops and buildings on her farm and butchered livestock. But through all of this she persevered by rebuilding, and continuing to take in University students who needed room and board.

In the summer of 1552, the plague was making its way through Wittenberg. Katie determined to stay in the Black Cloister as long as possible. Finally, in September, the plague came to her house. Hans was at school in Königsberg and Martin may have been studying in Wittenberg. Katie boarded a carriage with Paul and Margaretha and headed out. Along the way, something startled the horses and they shied. Katie attempted to jump from the carriage to settle the horses and thereby protect her children. Jumping from a wildly moving carriage is not easy and she fell, landing hard and ending up in a ditch full of water.

Paul and Margaretha managed to get their mother to Torgau. The fall and any injuries she received from it, along with shock and the chill of the cold water, lead to paralysis. Katie lay in bed for three months with Margaretha attending her. Paul brought her happy news when he announced his marriage to Anna von Warbeck.

In her last days, Katie frequently entrusted her children to God’s care and the faith her husband had fought so hard for. Finally, the injuries and accompanying illness became too much and Katie died. Legend claims that as she lay dying, she was asked about her faith. She replied that she want to “cling to Christ as a burr to a dress”. It is most likely that Katie never said these words, but whether she actually spoke these words or not is unclear but they clearly do express the faith she held to in her life and into her death.

The photo is of the house where Katie died in Torgau and is from kleio.org
-Rebecca DeGarmeaux (on FB)

Save the Snowflakes!

This sort of mockery is especially needed at this time of year…

‘Secrets’ of Noah’s Ark…

The program isn’t on Discovery, it’s on PBS!

In 1948, a British pilot serving in Iraq acquired a clay tablet with an intriguing, 3,700 year-old inscription. The ancient writing tells the story of how the god Enki warns a Sumerian king named Atra-Hasis of a future flood that will destroy mankind; Enki gives him instructions for building a boat to save his family and livestock. If that sounds like a familiar tale, it’s because this was one of several ancient flood traditions that, centuries later, would inspire the biblical story of Noah. But the tablet’s inscription describes a boat very different from the traditional image of the Ark—it’s said to be circular and made of reeds. Is this nothing more than a fanciful myth? Or could such a reed boat have carried Atra-Hasis’ family of more than one hundred and his many animals? Join NOVA as a team of historians and expert boat builders investigates this fascinating flood legend and sets out to rebuild a tantalizing, ancient forerunner of the Ark.  Watch the Program – Watch the entire program streaming online for a limited time (four weeks) starting December 21.

The Babylon Bee’s Christmas Gift Guide

For the theological liberal in your life: Ambiance CD with calming sounds of Rachel Held Evans eating a quinoa salad. After a long day fighting for social justice on the internet, it can be tough to get to sleep at night. Luckily, Rachel Held Evans has released a CD that contains the soothing sounds of her munching on a quinoa salad—sure to please the progressive in your life. Thomas Nelson, $22.00

For the atheist in your life: Nothing. Nothing says you understand their nihilistic worldview than getting them absolutely nothing. While a gift of some sort suggests the person has some kind of inherent value bestowed by a creator, giving an atheist nothing really shows that you care about them and empathize with their belief that Christmas, like everything, is completely meaningless and we’re all just biding time until the sun devours the earth. Best of all, it won’t break the bank. Nowhere, $0.00

For the Calvinist in your life: A life-size statue of John Calvin. Your Reformed friend will think of you every day as he or she wakes up and falls at the feet of the statue to pray to the late reformer. Family Christian Stores, $799.00

For the Arminian in your life: A Magic 8 Ball. This will come in handy as your Wesleyan loved one tries to decide each day whether or not their salvation is still binding. Amazon, $11.95

For the charismatic in your life: A tambourine. What do you get the person that already has everything, including the coveted second blessing of the Holy Spirit? How about a nice, wooden tambourine they can use to loudly dance and wiggle around on Sundays? Bonus points if it’s shaped like a dove. Amazon, $24.95

For the cessationist in your life: A strange fire detector. Now available in a pocket-sized version, the strange fire detector will sound loudly whenever its user is within a 100′ radius of any person who is even slightly charismatic, allowing your cessationist friend to proactively decide whether to confront them harshly or flee for their lives. Grace to You, $49.95

For the King James Onlyist in your life: The New King James Bible. Your KJVO only buddies probably don’t even know there’s a new, improved version of the KJV Bible written in modern English. They’ll definitely appreciate the thoughtfulness of this great gift. Amazon, $14.99

For the run-of-the-mill nonbeliever in your life: A fake $100 bill gospel tract. For added effect, put it in a money-gift envelope and watch the range of expressions emanating from their face as they first think they’re receiving money, then realize it’s not real money, then realize it’s a religious tract, and finally surrender their lives to the Lord right in front of you. Living Waters, $10.00

There you have it—this ought to cover nearly everyone you’re buying for this year.

Looks like your Christmas shopping is done. You’re welcome!

And there ya go.