The Bee Stings the Idiocy of ‘Worship Moanings’

The Rising Church music school has raised up hundreds of worship leaders and musicians, but the institution is reportedly kicking things up a notch with a new course load designed to help vocalists belt out nonsensical ad libs in between a song’s actual lyrics.

According to Troy French, the school’s director, the classes were added after churches reported a great need for worship leaders to hum, wail, and mumble various melodic sounds, words, and phrases during musical interludes.

“What we were finding is that many worship leaders just sang the songs as printed on the music sheets,” French told reporters at a worship summit. “Not a single random ‘Oh thank you Jesus’ or ‘Yes Lord, oh yes my sweet Jesus’ during a musical crescendo or anything.”

“But we’re addressing this grave problem with a barrage of instructional courses meant to teach worship leaders the art of perfectly ad-libbing arbitrary lyrics throughout a song, for the edification of the believers.”

French further stated that the new courses will address common questions about ad-libbing like “How much is too much?”, “How can I get that super spiritual look while ad-libbling?” and “How can I keep the congregation on their toes?”

“We expect God to do great things as our worship leaders and backup vocalists alike ad lib erratically throughout their worship songs.”

#HymnsAreBetterThanWorshipSongs

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