The ‘You’ve Got to Be Kidding, Great Pumpkin’ Biblical Studies Carnival

1This month it’s all that horrifies, annoys, and tips over toilets.  Below, the most horrifying ‘great pumpkin-ish’ posts from around the blogging world are offered for your terrifying-ication.  And with the American Presidential Election just days away, there’s still plenty of horror to come.*

So if you’ve come looking to be scared- be scared.  These posts are scary horrible.  Or is it horribly scary?  Either way I suppose…

Hebrew Bible Pumpkins

James *Sci-Fi* McGrath horrifies with his post on Genesis as ink blot…  If you see something in Genesis that isn’t there do you know what that makes you? An eisegete.  That scariest of all beasts.  That and the ‘progressive’ Rachel Held Evans / Rob Bell -esque lot.

Tim Bulkeley finally posted something just in the nick of time.  Pagan.  Something about cultural backgrounds study Bible.  Whatever that is.  I’m guessing it has to do with telling the Bible we don’t like it’s cultural setting so we’re going to impose some strange one on it.

Nothing in life is more horrifying than nakedness or nakidity.  Which is why Heiser’s naked podcast on Ezekiel ranks right up there with the Antichrist and Diet Mountain Dew.  Ickiness abounds.  And he doesn’t just go all icky once.  Oh no.  That would be too simple.  No, dear precious, he does it twice

The weirdest post prize goes to this guy.  Weird.  Seriously.  Weird.  It’s a weird title on a weird post on a weird site that I’m pretty sure has to be the weirdest on the entire internet.  I’m not posting it because you should read it.  I’m posting it because this is the Halloween edition of the Carnival and no one is more bizarre than this guy.  He’s not a member of SBL or CBA or SOTS or any other academic biblical studies society and yet he calls himself a biblical scholar.  I suppose it’s possible but it’s rather like a guy calling himself a medical doctor but not being a member of the AMA.

The most horrible of the bloggers posted this form allowing the worthy to attend the SOTS Winter meeting in early January in Nottingham.  And Mr Horrible also posted the Program for the Meeting.  I hope to see many of you there.  If you’re worthy.  Which, let’s face it, you probably aren’t.

2The just a bit icky ESV is discussed in a post by the Westminsterians in connection with womenfolk and complementarianism and other scary things.  Yiikes.

George Athas has written a scary commentary on Deuteronomy.  Scarier still, he defriended me on facebook.  I know, right.  I mean what the heck…

New Testament Pumpkins

Well this is awkward…  How’m I supposed to read it if its hidden behind a paywall.  Academic paywalls…  someone’s making a fortune and it isn’t the person who wrote the essay.  So scary how money is being made off the work of others these days.

‘Idealized language’… de Saussure (who the Devil is that?)… these are just a couple of things in a post about language and the Kingdom of God.  Horrifying.  Remember when people spoke plainly and in such a way that folk could understand them and not all philosophically and Scottishly?  I pine for those days too, gentle reader.

The newest horrifying number of the Journal of the Jesus Movement in its Jewish Setting (that’s the actual name…) came out on 20 October.   Horrifying.

OH THE HORROR!  Larry Hurtado and Chris Tilling, arguing.  At each other’s throats, with knives drawn and spittle dribbling!  (That’s a bit of exaggeration for effect, but you get the idea) about devotion to Christ and its origins.  And then some other guy jumped in.  It’s a book review as long as the book it reviews.  So, nice work!  It’s a ghoulish go.

Authentically scary?  The fact that Mark Goodacre hasn’t posted in over 2.5 months.  Has something happened to him?  Has he expired?  Has he been deported?  Mark was the second Biblioblogger (Jim Davila was the first and yours truly was the third).  His absence is horrific.  Wherever you are, Mark, come back.

3All one can say about this post about Luke is- poor Luke!  Poor, poor Luke…  Look what they’ve done to you- painting you up in some hideous clown costume.  Bless ya.  Oh, speaking of Luke, a new, exceptional, and therefore scarily good commentary on the second best Gospel (John is first, Matthew is last) has been published – in English!  The Swisslanders have all the info.

Yikes- it’s the apocalyptic Paul (as though we needed any more horrors these days….)  courtesy the Canadian Scot McKnight (again, as though we needed any more horrors these days… but now a Canadian???)

Archaeology Pumpkins

4In what was a horrible horrifying blow to the Israeli tourism industry AND the fundamentalist Christian apologist maximalists, there was nothing unearthed in Israel which ‘proved’ the Bible.  Rats.  Oh well, maybe closer to Christmas or Easter something will pop up.  Remember, the Great Pumpkin only appears to those who really believe with their whole heart…

On the positive side of the ledger, there’s this.  It’s about supervising squares at Gath.  Take that as you wish. One thing’s for sure, when you dig in the dirt you get dirty.  Really dirty.  And what says Halloween like dirt?

Biblical Languages and that Sort of Thing Pumpkins

Want to have pumpkin pie with text critics and evangelicals and other people who like to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe in San Antonio.  Here’s your chance.

Jim Davila had a piece on the horrifying discovery on what is purported to be a manuscript in Hebrew from the 8th century BCE.  His sage remarks are wisely cautionary.  That will horrify those seeking ‘evidence that demands a verdict’.  Roberta Mazza had some great thoughts on the topic as well.  Sensibly cautionary.  She’s Italian, but not the horrible horrific sort like Berlusconi.  Anyway, you would think scholars would have learned their lesson about publishing stuff from anonymous sources…  right, Karen King?  Chris Rollston sure knows the score.  He’s scary clever. And so is Aren Maeir.  And then on the last day of the month the IAA defended its trinket.  Jim Davila responds.

Will *Student of James Aitken at Cambridge* Ross has posted a piece on the horror that is Greek lexicography and a new lexicon forthcoming that has set my jowls to drooling (in terror, of course, given this month’s frightful theme).  Glory.  He’s also given a bit of advice about attending academic conferences (a topic, horrifyingly, much on the minds of academics this conference season).

5This gourd is a little slight but it may interest those who have not kept up with their Greek (which is probably 99% of the pastors who have ever taken any Greek at all- including those who use Strong’s Concordance to talk about Greek and Hebrew and nonetheless couldn’t read the simplest sentence if their life depended on it- which it does, as does the life of their congregation).

Textual criticism – in French.  Oh. The. Horror. Enough said….

Miscellaneous Pumpkins

You’ve got to be kidding – Bart Ehrman on Inerrancy.  He takes a butcher knife to it and hacks it into tiny little pieces before feeding it to the worms.  And then there’s the post on ETS and heresy hunting which manages in the midst of it all to pull off a pumpkin of a book plug so yay to the author of the piece for that Halloween horror treat!

If you’ve missed Nick ‘Pumpkin Spice’ Norelli- he explains why he hasn’t talked about NT Wright and other stuff that he likes here.  Maybe he’ll get back to important stuff soon.

6Travis actually called Servetus a ‘theologian’ in this horrific post!  BAHAHAHAHA.  Next thing you know, he will think Joel Osteen is a theologian too.  And TD Jakes.  And Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  And 99.9% of the Barthians.  And other hangers-on and wannabes…  The word theologian is almost as empty of meaning now as ‘evangelical’.

In this happy happening Dan Kirk gets his head handed to him on a platinum platter.  It’s horrifyingly delightful and hand clappingly gleeful.  It’s about theology and the misrepresentation of the field by chic pseudo-theology. Don’t miss it.

They’re talking about the ghoulish ‘Copper Scroll’ at Chester and they’ve announced all the details which appear here among the biblioblogs.

The greatest of all the Pumpkins, Joel Watts, had a post on something about Wesley but I fell right asleep after the first sentence.  Something about the Eucharist and theology and Wesley … zzzzzzzz.

Ooops.  Sorry about dozing off.  I need also to mention that James Crossley posted a post of pumpkinism (i.e., Corbyn and Pentecostalism) that you’ll want to read for its aesthetic value alone.

Mike Bird horrified us all by talking about some book or other coming out about the horrifying apocryphal Gospels.  If they mattered, the’d be in the Bible!  #Bam.

Most horrifying of all, the actions of the SBL in relation to IVPAcademic and their exclusion of the publisher from the annual meeting.  Truly horrifying, and no joke.  There’s a bit more here, including parts of the letter to IVP from SBL, and Mike Bird shares his thoughts on the subject here and Mike *Freddy* Kruger shares his views here.

sbl

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Finis

1cg5hn

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*Don’t be all offended and miffed. We only jibe the ones we love.