The Bee Stings, and Scorches, All The Precious Rachel Held Evans-ettes

Shelby Adamson, a sophomore in Civil Engineering at The Georgia Institute of Technology, confirmed today that she had reached the exact level of embarrassment over her Christian faith to meet the approval of her non-believing friends.

Adamson explained to sources how she, after realizing her shame level had dipped too low in recent months, began to regularly pepper her conversations with disparaging remarks about her church’s stances on several key social issues, while upping the amount of jokes regarding her denomination’s past disapproval of activities like dancing and drinking.

“It’s good to know that a religious person like Shelby can get along with normal people,” fellow student Tina Alvarez commented, following a conversation in which Adamson agreed that Christians are “deluded and extreme, totally” if they interpret the Book of Genesis to mean that God literally created the world in six 24-hour days.

Alvarez, who has self-identified as “not really religious, but definitely spiritual,” admitted feeling much more comfortable around Christians who are visibly embarrassed about their faith, and confirmed to sources that Adamson had indeed recently returned to a satisfactory embarrassment level.

At publishing time, Adamson was brainstorming ways she could stay right in the sweet spot of shame over her Christianity, noting that she’ll probably transition soon from mocking her faith’s stance on homosexuality to mocking her faith’s stance on gender roles.

Rachel Held Evans-ettes, you’ve been served.

The Unutterable Hypocrisy of Christian Fundamentalist Pentebabblers

Whenever a politician adopts a policy the Fundamentalists, like Jim Bakker and Pat Robertson, disagree with and some disaster befalls (or doesn’t), those Fundamentalist Pentebabblers are quick to call it the judgment of God.

I wonder why the Pat Robertson’s of the world haven’t said the Gatlinburg fires and Athens tornado were God’s judgment on TN for its voting Trump…

See they hypocrisy?  It’s both pronounced and unutterable. And proves that there’s nothing Christian about these fundamentalist pentebabblers.  No, they are political ideologues, and nothing more.

Sad News: Duncan Forrester has Died

duncanforresterVia Paul Middleton-

Hearing the very sad news that the Rev Prof. Duncan Forrester, Emeritus Professor at New College, Edinburgh has died. He was a fine theologian, and a very gracious man. He was the founder of the Centre for Theology and Public Issues in Edinburgh, in which I had my first academic job, and he preached at my induction to the Old Kirk of Edinburgh.

The Bee Stings the Preteen Church Prowler

Local junior higher Bobby Reinke reported Wednesday that he is still attending both “big church” and youth group in an attempt to begin some kind of personal relationship with “cute” fellow eighth grader Jenny Wilson.  Reinke, sitting with his parents Sunday, also came out staunchly in opposition to cold, dead religion that demands people just attend church in order to fulfill “some kind of religious checklist.”

Their name is Legion.  They come to date, they date, they break up, and they depart.  As John says, ‘They were not of us for if they had been of us they would have remained with us’.

“It’s not about religion—it’s about a personal relationship with Jenny,” Reinke said piously as he craned to get a better look at the back of Wilson’s head a few pews in front of him. “I’m not here to just go through the motions. I really want to get to know her and see what she has for my future,” he added. Reinke further stated he fully intends to ask Wilson to add him to Snapchat, sometime in the next three to four months.

Legion…  Bloody little derelicts.

Cities of the Reformation

9783290178833Zürich heute – hier wohnen und arbeiten Menschen aus aller Welt. Zürich, vor 500 Jahren – zwar viel kleiner, aber ebenso lebendig. Die Menschen leiden unter den Abgaben an Kirchen und Klöster, das Söldnerwesen bringt Reichtum und Dekadenz. Da wendet sich Ulrich Zwingli, ein junger Leutpriester, gegen soziale Missstände – und Kirche und Staat gestalten gemeinsam eine neue Ordnung.

Das reich bebilderte Journal zeigt Zürich als Schauplatz dieser Umwälzungen. Es nimmt uns mit auf einen Rundgang zu den wichtigen Stätten der Reformation: ins Grossmüster, in dem Zwingli 1519 erstmals predigt, zum Rathaus, wo die Zürcher Disputationen stattfinden, an die Schipfe, dem Schauplatz der Täuferverfolgung. Eine Szenenfolge Hans Strubs versetzt uns ins Haus des Buchdruckers Froschauer, in dem in der Fastenzeit 1522 die berühmt gewordenen Würste gegessen werden, eine Geschichte Ulrich Knellwolfs an den Stadelhofen, wo 1523 ein Schuhmacher eigenhändig das Kreuz mit dem Heiland umhaut – was ihn den Kopf kostet. Das Heft erzählt in Bildern, Geschichten und Szenen von den historischen Entwicklungen der Reformation, stellt aber auch die heutigen Kirchen der Stadt und die anstehenden Aufgaben der Zürcher Kirche vor.

Mit Beiträgen von Renate von Ballmoos, Jürg Dambach, Dorothee Degen, Judith Engeler, Ueli Greminger, Rebecca Giselbrecht, Irene Gysel, Markus Keller, Alexandra Kess, Ulrich Knellwolf, Käthi Koenig-Siegrist, Daniel Klingenberg, Käthi La Roche, Peter Opitz, Niklaus Peter, Felix Reich, Martin Rüsch, Christoph Sigrist, Hans Strub, Cornelia Vogelsanger, Elisabeth Wyss-Jenny, Hans Conrad Zander.
Mit Illustrationen von Daniel Lienhard.

Peter Opitz, Dr. theol., Jahrgang 1957, ist Professor für Kirchen- und Dogmengeschichte von der Reformation bis zur Gegenwart an der Theologischen Fakultät der Universität Zürich und Leiter des Instituts für Schweizerische Reformationsgeschichte.

Käthi Koenig-Siegrist, Jahrgang 1950, Theologin und Redaktorin, war in der Zürcher Redaktion von «reformiert.» und davor Chefredaktorin des evang.Wochenmagazins «doppelpunkt».

A Previously Unknown Roman Governor of Judah Discovered: Marco Paccius

Antonio writes

Era stato in carica durante la Rivolta di bar Kokhba (132-135 d.C.). Il reperto è stato rinvenuto in mare, al largo di Tel Dor. L’iscrizione decifrata recita «… la città di Dor rende onore a Marco Paccius, figlio di Publio Silvano, governatore della Giudea». SPETTACOLARE!!! L’articolo su Ha’retz.

Ha’aretz says

An underwater survey conducted by divers off Tel Dor, on the Mediterranean Sea, yielded an astonishing find: a rare Roman inscription mentioning the province of Judea – and the name of a previously unknown Roman governor, who ruled the province shortly before the Bar-Kochba Revolt. Historians had thought that based on Roman records, the leaders Rome imposed on its provinces were all known.

The rock with the 1,900-year-old inscription was exposed by a storm on the seabed at a depth of just 1.5 meters in the bay of Dor. The town had been a thriving port in Roman times that even minted its own coins, which proudly proclaimed the city to be “Ruler of the Seas”.
Found by Haifa University archaeologists surveying the remains of the ancient Roman harbor at Dor in January 2016, the rock, 70 by 80 centimeters in size, was partly covered in sea creatures when it was found.

Etc.  And here’s the stone-


As Antonio says, ‘spectacular!!!!’

Biblical Aramaic: A Reader & Handbook

9781619708914oWhilst at SBL in San Antonio the nice folk at Hendrickson handed off a copy of their brand new Biblical Aramaic: A Reader & Handbook for perusal and examination.

Biblical Aramaic: A Reader & Handbook is a “one-stop shop” for anyone who is studying Biblical Aramaic or seeking to retain the knowledge they have already acquired. A wonderful resource for both professors and students, Biblical Aramaic: A Reader & Handbook effectively empowers students to be able to read the Bible’s Aramaic texts with comprehension, ease, and enjoyment, and to sustain a solid, lasting command of the language long after their formal study has ended. Split into two main sections—a Reader and word lists—this is an essential tool for anyone who wants to read the Aramaic portions of the Bible with understanding and confidence, and to maintain this ability over the long term.

Created by a team of scholars: Donald R. Vance (PhD), George Athas (PhD), Yael Avrahami (PhD), and Jonathan G. Kline (PhD).

My first thought was ‘if someone has a copy of Hendrickson’s BHS Reader’s Edition (which contains as well all the Aramaic passages in the Hebrew Bible), what will this stand alone Aramaic reader provide that it doesn’t contain?’  The answer- much indeed.

First, and probably most importantly, the notes intended to aid readers are in many instances more complete than in the BHS edition.  The grammar of the Aramaic texts is offered without the (admittedly) sometimes confusing ‘encoding’ of the BHS counterpart.

Second, the limited nature of the Aramaic texts in the Old Testament allow the editors to provide a really fantastic supplement to what we find in the traditional ‘Aramaic Grammar’.  Indeed- the biblical text takes up barely 60 pages whilst the grammatical material extends from page 61 through page 233.  This volume, then, is the ideal text for a course introducing Aramaic to students familiar and competent in Hebrew.  It does not, however, take the place of a traditional Grammar but it brilliantly supplements such a volume.

Finally, whereas such volumes tend to normally be cursed with tiny print and tinier notes, this is a volume people outside of their teens will be able to see with ease and enjoy and, further, profit from enjoying.  The font is really lovely and the paper is thick enough so that there isn’t any annoying bleed through.  The entire presentation is crisp.

I recommend it without hesitation to those looking for a reader’s aid for Biblical Aramaic.  The editors are to be congratulated for a very useful tool and the publisher is to be thanked for bringing to us a work which will undoubtedly find its way to many classrooms and studies.

Oh No, Here Come the ‘Happy Holidays’ Heathen

As Christmas season arrives, Christians across America have begun intense preparations to withstand the vicious attacks they expect to face during the month of December as coworkers, store employees, and even random passerby ruthlessly wish them “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” according to reports.

“It’s brutal,” complains Dave Coleman, who has celebrated Christmas his entire life. “People I don’t know, who may not even believe in Jesus, think they can just insult me in the street by invoking an all-encompassing phrase that acknowledges multiple faith traditions? How is that freedom of religion?”

Bloody pagans.

Or More Accurately, Christian Pastor Twists Scripture To Make It Fit His Own Inclinations…

But that’s not theology, it’s heresy.  It isn’t exposition, it’s eisegesis.  Ya gotta love the guys who think that their navel gazing expositions and ‘reframings’ have merit and the publishers who pander to them simply because they address the latest societal buzzwords.  Toss LGBTQ into any title or subtitle and the substance of your research can be utter nonsense and Westminster will still publish it.


The Post-2002 Dead Sea Scrolls-like Fragments: Pollutions in Accordance

“Pollutions” – that’s quite a word.

The Lying Pen of Scribes

Some of the post-2002 DSS-like fragments have polluted the DSS and Qumran modules in Accordance both on a corpus and manuscript level. This also has major statistical implications. In the following list I have listed all the post-2002 fragments that have made it into Accordance. I strongly recommend that they should be removed as they corrupt the dataset.


Elgvin, Torleif, Kipp Davis, and Michael Langlois, eds. Gleanings From the Caves: Dead Sea Scrolls and Artefacts from The Schøyen Collection. LTST 71. London: Bloomsbury T&T Clark, 2016.

Eshel, Esther, and Hanan Eshel. “A New Fragment of the Book of the Watchers from Qumran (XQpapEnoch).” Tarbiz 73 (2004): 171–79 [Hebrew]; V [English Abstract].
Eshel, Esther, and Hanan Eshel. “A Preliminary Report on Seven New Fragments from Qumran.” Meghillot 5-6 (2007): 271-78.

_____. “New Fragments from Qumran: 4QGenf, 4QIsab, 4Q226, 8QGen, and XQpapEnoch.” DSD 12 (2005):…

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Tullian Tchividjian is a False Teacher

Tchividjian’s remarriage was first confirmed in a Facebook post on Saturday by his new wife, Stacie, as she highlighted a sermon he delivered at the non-denominational Spring Hills Community Church in Santa Rosa, California.

“What an honor it was to be invited to Spring Hills Community Church and sincerely welcomed by such a loving staff and congregation! Our time in Santa Rosa was too short, but SO wonderful … Tullian Tchividjian (my amazing Hubby!) delivered an authentic, powerful message,” she wrote in part.

While he did not comment on his remarriage, Tchividjian highlighted the same sermon on his Facebook page on Saturday about an hour after his new wife posted it.

He’s a false teacher.  He is, in his essence, Donald Trump- a con man who deceives and manipulates in order to advance his own agenda.

Pentebabbleist Trumpians

Pastor John Kilpatrick used his pulpit to celebrate the election of Donald Trump and the defeat of Hillary Clinton by speaking in tongues during a recent sermon. Shortly after the Nov. 8 election, Kilpatrick reminded his congregation at the Evangel Temple in Meridian, Mississippi that God used Hurricane Katrina to attack New Orleans because President George W. Bush had told Israel to “give up Gaza.”

But he insisted that President Barack Obama’s administration had been even worse. “The last eight years, we have had in our government as system that has tried to capture the minds of Americans,” Kilpatrick opined. “It has tried to tell us what we think, what we can say, what we must not say. It has tried to tell us how we feel about terrorism, Islamic terrorism. It’s tried to tell us how we should feel about abortion.”

“We’ve had an election now, things are going to open up, God’s spirit is going to begin to move again in America,” the pastor said, adding, “Sha yi ya yi ya yi ya ya. Praise him! Woo!” “Sha ba ba la ba ta la rosa ta la la!” the pastor exclaimed. “Freedom! Freedom again! Freedom! Freedom to lift your voice. Freedom to praise the Lord. Woo hoo! Aye yay yay yay. Ha ra da sa da da.” “Victory, finally, victory!” Kilpatrick declared. “Thank the Lord for the victory! Thank you for saving our nation! Thank you, Lord, for bringing Jezebel down!” “Revival’s on the way! Revival’s on the way!”

Heretics.  Montanist heretics, pure and simple.  Maniacal Montanist heretics.