The Bee Stings the Silly Egocentric Bible Reader

Good stuff once again from the Bee.  Especially these sardonic remarks:

  1. Pray that God would reveal how awesome you are. As you seek to dig into the Word, cover your reading time with prayer—specifically, prayer that God will show you how special and incredible you are in light of eternity.
  2. Take it easy. Everyone needs a 5–10 year break from Scripture every now and then. So go at your own pace, even if that means not reading the Bible for a couple of decades.
  3. Keep in mind, every verse means “judge not.” Try to carefully exegete the meaning of each text you study, bearing in mind that the meaning is almost certainly “judge not.” If you don’t arrive at this exegesis, try again until you get it right.
  4. Remember who it’s all about: you. Reading the Scriptures becomes even more dynamic and exciting when you realize that every text points to one person: you. Do whatever hermeneutical back-flips are necessary to bend any and all texts to revolve around yourself. Like they say: you are on every page.

Are you paying attention, egotistical eisegetes?