Bless the Precious Snowflakes…
Police are investigating a Yale professor today after an undergraduate student became suspicious of an equation in an exam.
“I felt terrorized by the equation”, said the student who didn’t wish to be named “I mean, this is America, we shouldn’t be frightened to walk into our own exam halls, but yet, here I was earlier today feeling very, very uncomfortable with this terrorist type of equation”. “It looked like some kind of secret code or something. I don’t know if it was even written in American.”
“My head started to hurt right away when I saw it.” “There has got to be some kind of amendment against it or something.” Speaking on behalf of the local police, a spokesperson said that the questions on the exam “did indeed look to be very difficult” and in the opinion of the police force “probably needed to be handled by trained people who had actually studied the subject matter”.
The university has released a statement apologizing to the student body for setting exam questions that were clearly too hard. The university said that “lessons had been learned and the customer is always right. The professors responsible will be prosecuted in a court of criminal law and also in a civil court. We will not stand for them trying to hide behind their claims of academic freedom and something about standards.”
Sounds legit, giving the whinitude of the millennials.