Forget war and poverty and the Presidential election… those things pale in comparison to the sheer despair caused by this instagram posting. Behold, and weep.
Daily Archives: 1 Sep 2016
While preparing for the next installment of his “Who Needs God” series, in which he has been attempting to make the case that the Bible is not a necessary pillar of the Christian faith, Andy Stanley, Senior Pastor of several hundred megachurches in the Atlanta area, was reportedly shocked upon being informed by an intern that the New Testament is actually part of the Bible.
“I don’t believe this,” Stanley exclaimed after verifying the statement on GotQuestions.org. “All this time I’ve been yelling about how people don’t need the Bible, they just need the Gospels and some other portions of the New Testament as the basis for their Christian faith. Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
The young intern went on to explain that this simple fact creates serious problems for the line of reasoning Stanley has employed recently. “You see, Mr. Stanley, sir, when you say that people don’t need to believe the Bible, they just need to believe the stuff about Jesus in the New Testament—”
“Oh wow,” a dismayed Stanley interrupted, as it reportedly “all seemed to click in his mind at once.”
“Man, I am such a stinkin’ goof,” he said. “I can’t imagine people around the internet must be saying about me right now.”
Students at Rutgers University have been advised to use language that is ‘kind’ and ‘necessary’ and avoid offensive terms such as ‘retarded’ and ‘that’s so ghetto’ so that they don’t commit ‘microaggressions’. A bulletin board, titled ‘Language Matters: Think’, has been put on display in at least one hall of residence on the campus, in New Brunswick, New Jersey, telling them to question whether their choice of words is ‘true’ and ‘helpful’. Failure to follow the guidelines could give rise to microaggressions – ‘little things that have a big impact’ – which fall into three categories: microassaults, microinsults and microinvalidations.
Uhmmmm……. No, you don’t want the precious snowflakes to have to confront life.
Looking to save a few bucks on their Sunday morning formal wear, tens of thousands of trendy worship leaders and worship band members lined up outside American Apparel retail locations across the country Thursday morning for the company’s annual end-of-summer v-neck sale.
“What I’m really looking for is something flowy,” Atticus Ryder of Austin Evangelical Free Fellowship told reporters as he sat waiting for his local store to open while picking out a Nirvana riff on his guitar. “I think a long, flowing neckline really calls to mind the priestly garments of old, and helps remind the people of our identity as a holy priesthood.”
Other worship leaders were looking for something more daring, as a worship leader known simply as “Blaze” reported he was interested in finding a v-neck that ended just north of his belly button. “My style is representative of my authenticity—I’ve got nothing to hide. I’m wide open,” Blaze said before continuing to work on a Phil Wickham piece on his harmonica.
At publishing time, American Apparel retail stores were bracing for even more foot activity, as the company’s website had crashed due to the overwhelming traffic load reportedly originating from ministry-heavy areas around the country.
They are a ghastly lot. May their tribe perish.
An old miser, because of his exceptional thrift, had no friends. Just before he died, he called his doctor, lawyer and minister together around his bedside.
“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you, but I am going to prove you can,” he said. “I have $90,000 cash under my mattress. It’s in three envelopes of $30,000 in each. When I pass on I want each of you to take an envelope and just before they throw the dirt on me, you throw your envelope in.”
The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery the minister said, “I just don’t feel exactly right. My conscience hurts me. I’m going to confess. I needed $10,000 badly for a new church we are building, so I took out $10,000 and threw the $20,000 in the grave.”
The doctor said, “I too, must confess, I am building a hospital and I took $20,000, and threw in only $10,000.
The lawyer said “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could hold out like that. I threw in my personal check for the full amount.”
Ik vond het wel een beetje raar dat er van Luthers werk zo weinig in het Nederlands beschikbaar was. Hoe moest dat nu in het Reformatiejaar 2017, als iedereen wil weten wat die man gezegd heeft, maar je Latijn of Duits moet beheersen om daar achter te komen? Voor dit soort problemen heeft Refo500 natuurlijk meteen een oplossing en die wordt 5 september op de TUA gepresenteerd.
Meer dan 1300 pagina’s Luther, een brede selectie uit zijn werken, een veelheid van thema´s, en dat allemaal in twee prachtige en betaalbare delen. Interessant is niet alleen de inhoud, maar ook de samenstelling van de vertalers. Een team van studenten en docenten die allemaal snel bereid gevonden werden dit topstuk in elkaar te zetten. Luther bracht mensen van de Theologische Universiteit Kampen, Nederlands Gereformeerde Predikantenopleiding, Gereformeerde Bond en TUA bij elkaar met een snelheid en kwaliteit waar geen GTU-proces tegenop kan. En daarbij dan ook nog mensen uit de Lutherse Kerk en van de VU! Wie nog durft te zeggen dat Luther kerkscheidend werkt, zal na het zien en lezen van Luther Verzameld voorgoed zwijgen.
Herman Selderhuis is the editor. He’s brilliant. If you read the language of the Dutch, you should get a copy. And if you don’t, you should get your library to get a copy.
Sarah Bond pointed this essay out. You should read it.
While obsessively monitoring the response to our articles, I not infrequently see comments of this type: “Surprising that she didn’t cite _____.” Or “No reference to _____?” Or even “Should have cited _____.”
Everybody is, of course, entitled to come to their own conclusion about the question I posed in the title of this editorial. Here’s mine: 9 times out of 10, I think this particular critique is misguided and elitist. It is a kind of objection that is poorly suited to most internet-native writing and seems designed to make writers paranoid and overly cautious.
Criticizing writers for not citing specific articles or scholars forces them to participate in a form of ritualized homage designed to create an extremely high bar before they are permitted to write within the discipline. That’s fine in certain contexts — for example, the dissertation, the entire purpose of which is to show that you can participate responsibly in a scholarly conversation. I would never dispute that in a dissertation, PhD students absolutely should — and usually do — err on the side of over-citation. (I don’t like to brag, but in the reader reports for my dissertation one of my advisers effusively praised my bibliography as “up to date and not monolingual.”).
Yes, read the whole. For my part I think we’re stifling thought when we act as though every thought must be derivative. Think for yourself; prove your case with proper argument; and then, and only then, cite supporting evidence. Otherwise your research is just parroting.
Well – go if you can!
“Unholy Business: A True Tale of Faith, Greed and Forgery in the Holy Land”
Myren Gård, Wednesday 14 September, 18.00
Author and journalist Nina Burleigh will discuss her investigation into the James Ossuary, the so-called first archaeological evidence of Jesus, determined by Israeli authorities to be a forgery. The prosecutor in Jerusalem called the forgery “the fraud of the century” because of its relevance to Christian believers, but the accused was ultimately acquitted. Burleigh’s critically acclaimed book, which has been called “shrewd and piquant” delves into the back alleys of the Jerusalem relic trade and the dusty digging pits around Israel, and finds secular scientists pitted against true believers who see in science what their faith prescribes, and also Israeli religio-nationalists whose practice of archaeology is deeply influenced by Biblically-inspired modern land claims in the so-called Holy Land.
Lisa Håland, Thor Magne Vesterhus (flute)
Terje Howard Mathisen (piano)