The Bee Stings the Doctrineless Pastor

After a parishioner at Riptide Church pointed out Sunday that Pastor Jake Huber’s sermon wandered outside the bounds of orthodoxy and seemed to contradict several of the key points of the church’s statement of faith, the pastor expressed disbelief that such a document existed, sources reported.

“A statement of what? Faith? I mean—what would be the point of that? I don’t think it exists,” Huber was heard saying to the church member, an incredulous expression on his face. “As long as we believe that Jesus changes everything, I think that’s more than enough doctrine for us to agree on.”

When the church member then pulled up the detailed statement of faith on his phone, containing a list of doctrines the church agrees with and affirms, the pastor reportedly couldn’t have been more surprised. “Whoa—I mean whoa. I’d heard about stuff like this in seminary, but I thought that was old church history.”

Pastor Jake reportedly proceeded to scroll through the document, asking his wife what some of the bigger words like “infallible,” “inspired,” and “authoritative” meant.

He must have graduated from Harvard Divinity or Yale if he didn’t know what doctrine was…

A Lawyer Worthy of A Dilly, and a Journalist Too

This one will strike you as doubly dilettantish.  Because… a lawyer is claiming a polygamous Mormon is missing and may have been a victim of the ‘rapture’… and a journalist labels belief in the ‘rapture’ a ‘Christian belief’ without any qualification of any sort-

The FBI thinks that Lyle Jeffs, the polygamist religious leader accused in a multimillion-dollar food stamp scheme, disappeared from house arrest this summer by coating his ankle monitor in olive oil and sliding it off.  That explanation may fly with nonbelievers, but in court documents filed last week, Jeffs’ attorney has put forth a divine reason for his disappearance — the miracle of rapture:

As this Court is well aware, Mr. Jeffs is currently not available to inform his counsel whether or not he agrees to the Continuance. Whether his absence is based on absconding, as oft alleged by the Government in their filings, or whether he was taken and secreted against his will, or whether he experienced the miracle of rapture is unknown to counsel.

Rapture, for the uninitiated, is the Christian belief that during the second coming of Christ, the holy will be whisked away to heaven.

Yeah, no it’s not.  The notion of a ‘rapture’ is a 19th century fantasy invented by dispensationalists who twisted the Biblical text more than a woman getting her hair permed has it twisted.  So not only does the lawyer get a dilly, so does the journalist.  Congrats to the both of you.

dilly-the-dilettante

A Crossley Essay You’ll Want to Read

By What Authority Are You Doing These Things? A Brief History of the Bible in English Political Discourse from Margaret Thatcher to Jeremy Corbyn

Crossley

This article looks at how the Bible has been understood and constructed in English political discourse over the past forty years. It looks at how emerging neoliberalism and the social changes of the 1960s contributed to Margaret Thatcher’s influential construction of the Bible as a source of authority for her brand of economics. This laid the template for dominant understandings of the Bible which were aided (often unintentionally) through pop cultural trends. Tony Blair added social liberalism (especially in relation to gender and sexuality) to Thatcher’s Bible which was in turn accepted by David Cameron. During this consolidation of the neoliberal Bible, the radical Bible associated with the Left of the Labour Party was squeezed out of parliamentary discourse. The economic crash of 2008, however, has produced two competing discourses surrounding the Bible in party-political discourse: a Cameron-led intensified version of Thatcher’s Bible and a Corbyn-led return of the radical Bible.

It’s Commentary Tuesday!

When people ask me which commentary series I recommend, I point them to these:

the-person-the-pew-commentary-series

The books can be obtained by the usual route  or, you can just buy the PDF’s from yours truly for a paltry $199 by clicking my PayPal Link.  It’s that simple.

The Commentary is comprised of 42 individual volumes and all together are available in electronic format for $199. But not everyone is interested in every book of the Bible so after having received a number of requests for individual volumes in the series I’ve decided to offer any single volume for $5.

If you bought each volume individually it would cost $210 for the entire series in electronic form at $5 each, so it still makes sense to buy the whole. But I’m happy to send each volume individually for those who prefer it.

Just paypal me $5 and tell me which you wish. If you want two or three simply multiply each volume by $5. And please remember, volumes are for your personal use only. Distributing them to others is copyright infringement and quite frankly, theft.

Thankfully, The Future of the Church isn’t In the Hands of the Millennials…

Instead, it is, as it always has been, in the hands of God its Lord.  The Millennials may have no place in their lives for anything beyond self, but they will parent a generation which finds their parent’s selfishness simultaneously repulsive and worthy of overturning.

The mature children and grand children of the Millennials will return to core values and the center of those core values will be faith in Christ and participation in his community.

In sum, the 2050’s will resemble the 1950’s (in terms of selflessness)(just as the 1950’s resembled the 1850’s)- and the pendulum will have by then swung back to sanity.

Various Of Zwingli’s More Important Works in the Internet Archive

That’s just a small sampling.  Many more volumes are accessible at the Internet Archive.

Santa Won’t Be Visiting Your Home This Year…

He has no means of transport.

An official from the Norwegian Nature Inspectorate (Statens naturoppsyn – NNI) was on a routine inspection on Friday when he walked into an area where dead reindeer were lying close together on the ground.  A total of 323 of the animals were confirmed dead and it is believed that the flock was struck by lightning when a powerful storm passed through Telemark.  “They were lying there dead in a fairly concentrated area. Reindeer are pack animals and are often close together. During a heavy thunderstorm, they may have gathered even closer together out of fear,” NNI spokesman Knut Nylend told NTB.

Sorry kids.