The Bee Stings The Stand Up Sermonizer

Or more precisely, the parson who babbles on about his views instead of preaching Scripture.

BATTLE CREEK, MI—Boldly taking up Scripture’s charge to preach the truth, shepherd his flock, and contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints, local pastor Timothy Foley kicked off a comprehensive new ten-week study Sunday of his own personal opinions, thoughts, and ideas on a whole range of issues.

Entitled “Nothing But The Truth,” the sermon series expositing Foley’s subjective feelings and points of view promises to be packed with lively illustrations, heartfelt stories, and important practical advice, all entirely based on Foley’s own personal experiences from 42 years of life and convincingly delivered as plain gospel truth.

“I haven’t been this excited about a sermon series in a long time. You won’t want to miss any of the next ten Sundays,” Foley reportedly told congregants. “We’re going to dive right into lots of issues—including lots and lots of gray areas—and I’m going to faithfully expound my abstract viewpoints as though they’re taken straight from the pages of the Bible.”

I know this guy.  Several times over.