Maybe Tony Perkins is Gay. Or Maybe God Just Doesn’t Like People Pretending to Speak For Him…

On 18 August 2016, Family Research Council president Tony Perkins reportedly had to leave his home in Louisiana due to rising floods in the area. Perkins posted photographs of his flooded house to his Facebook page on 16 August 2016…

The story received widespread attention (with a dash of schadenfreude) when some news outlets reported that Perkins has said that hurricanes are God’s punishment for homosexuality.

That claim stems from a 3 October 2015 interview that Perkins did with Pastor Jonathan Cahn. While Cahn was actually the one who tied Hurricane Joaquin (which ravaged the Bahamas in October 2015) to what he said was God’s anger with the United States for legalizing gay marriage, Perkins mused (starting at around 13:15 into the podcast) that God may have been “trying to send us a message.”

Maybe God sent Tony a message.  And the message?  ‘Hey, guess what Tony.  If I don’t say something to you then maybe you shouldn’t tell people I did…’

BNTC Booking Ends Tomorrow

From the President-

Colleagues,

A final reminder that booking for this year’s British New Testament Conference closes tomorrow (Friday 19th August) at 4pm. If you intend to attend the conference, please make sure you have booked by then. The programme outline is now on the society’s website (www.bnts.org.uk), along with general information about travel.  There is also a link to some of the responses from the survey asking how might New Testament studies flourish in the next generation, which may help stimulate discussion on the Friday evening of the conference.
All the venues on campus we are using are very close together (only a few seconds walk between them).  Registration will take place in Grosvenor Hall (the accommodation block) from 3pm.  Coffee will be available from 4pm in the Small Hall (where the Publishers displays will be), and the welcome reception will also take place in the Small Hall at 5.30pm.
There are two further events on Friday 2nd September in what I am calling the British New Testament Conference Fringe:
  • Prof. Philip Alexander is offering a special exhibition at the Cathedral library (15 min walk away): “From the age of Erasmus: Treasures of Biblical Scholarship in Chester Cathedral Library”.  The event is limited to 25 people, and will begin at 1.30pm in the Cathedral Library.  There are still spaces available, so if you would like to attend, email bntc@chester.ac.uk to book your place.  This will be on a first come first serve basis.
  • The second event is “How to develop a relationship with a publisher (AKA How to get published)”.  This takes place at 2.30pm and will be presented by Dr Sean Adams (University of Glasgow) and Carey Newman from Baylor.  The event is specifically aimed at PhD students, but all are welcome.
Any further questions can be directed to bntc@chester.ac.uk.  We look forward to welcoming you to Chester in a couple of weeks time.
Best wishes,
Paul
Dr Paul Middleton
Secretary, The British New Testament Society

The Bee Stings Anonymous Internet Commenters

Sources confirmed Thursday morning that Satan’s armies are still heavily focused on infiltrating and maintaining control of website comments sections across the web, a tactical onslaught they’ve been focused on for the better part of the past decade.

troller“Comments sections are one of the primary recruiting tools Satan’s forces use to influence people toward darkness,” demonology expert Donald Velasco noted. “This is why most healthy people cannot wade too deeply into any comments section on the internet without being overwhelmed by the presence of sheer evil, as they are bombarded with words and opinions more hateful, vile, and barbaric than any mere human could concoct.” “During my research, I got too far down in some YouTube comments and ended up having to wash my eyeballs with paint thinner,” he added.

While more and more publishers are closing their comments sections in an attempt to purge demonic forces from their web presence, they’re still being featured on websites far and wide. “The best you can do is just try to avoid them, or at least stay away from their most infamous strongholds,” Velasco noted. “If you find yourself submerged in a comments section on a site like, say, Reddit—then God help you.”

Little Honey Tee Tee is a member of Legion.

The Greatest Question of Theodicy: Why God Allows Some People to Have Children

Police have arrested a Hot Springs, Arkansas, couple on battery and abuse charges for allegedly zip-tying a 4-year-old girl to her bed as punishment. Clarence Reed, 47, and the child’s mother, Jennifer Denen, 30, both of Hot Springs, are now charged with domestic battery, permitting abuse of a minor and endangering welfare of a minor.

A police report says officers were summoned to the Cooper-Anthony Mercy Child Advocacy Center after workers there determined the child had been abused. A police report says the girl had bruises, a black eye, scars and ligature marks on her wrists.

The Sentinel-Record reports the child is now in state custody. The mother and boyfriend were booked into the Garland County jail. According to the Washington Post, when a police officer asked the girl what her name was, she said, “Idiot.” Police later discovered Reed regularly called the child “Idiot” instead of using her actual name.

It’s accurate to say that the ‘parents’ are the real idiots here.  The real evil idiots.  So why does God allow idiots like these and their Legions to have children simply to torture them and ruin them?