“The Journaling Bible” – It’s The Perfect Gift For the Feckless Millennial In Your Life (i.e., Living off of You)

Zondervan announced Thursday an exciting new wide-margin journaling edition of its popular NIV Bible translation which eliminates the biblical text altogether to provide readers with more space to write their own thoughts, ideas, and feelings as they study God’s Word.

“Our surveys and market observations have consistently indicated that readers want more and more space for their own thoughts and doodles and such, and we can only make the book so large,” a Zondervan representative told reporters. “The obvious solution was to continue to thin out the biblical text, leading us to this inevitable conclusion—removing it entirely.”

“According to early feedback, people are thrilled with this new product. And since there are no printed words in this Bible, we were able to shorten it considerably, making it one of our most portable and convenient renderings of Scripture.”

When asked why consumers would pay $34.99 for what is essentially the same product as a journal they could pick up at Walmart for less than five dollars, the representative laughed. “There are many diaries, sketch pads, and journals in the world, but none of them come close to the majesty of God’s Holy Word.”

It’s great for Pentecostals too!