Daily Archives: 1 Aug 2016

The Bee Stings Silly Newly Formed ‘Progressive Christians’

Shaking her head in saddened disgust, newly-progressive Christian Jane Summers sits stunned, once again, staring at her screen after a Facebook argument, shocked at the “intolerance” of fellow Christians still perversely holding on to beliefs about issues like sex and gender which she abandoned at least three or four months ago.

Referring to the opinions she held only last semester, sources report that Summers declared Monday, “I’m absolutely disgusted. I can’t believe I used to think like these folks, back when I was a foolish bigot. I’ve evolved and moved on to embrace the truth—why can’t they? When will the hate stop?”

Her disappointment with fellow Christians isn’t confined to the internet, however. Describing a recent incident with her 84-year-old grandmother, Summers was incredulous. “I simply can’t believe Mammy would be so insensitive and backwards as to misgender Caitlyn Jenner. I sent her that Buzzfeed article on proper pronouns that changed my mind, but she still seemed skeptical. I don’t get it!”

In frustration, Summers took to Twitter under her new handle “@Ally4LyfeGirl” to reaffirm her commitment to the cause, writing, “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem!!! #StopTheHate”.

These newborn ‘progressives’ are a hoot.  We all know them.  Some of them even blog.

Quote of the Day

truth

You Haven’t Purchased the Commentary Yet, So Here’s Calvin, Glaring at You Because of It…

I hope you feel rightly excoriated.  Go buy it or Calvin will keep glaring at you until you burst into flame. Buy the PDF’s from yours truly for a paltry $199 by clicking my PayPal Link.

calvin

Calvin reading the Commentary, and glaring at you because you aren’t.

A Commentary on Ecclesiastes, Free… Or, Something Better, for an Awesome Low Price…

You can get one thin small volume from Logos

Untitled

Or you could spend $199 and get a commentary on the ENTIRE BIBLE.  I think you should do that.  Sure, fine, do the free thing if you must but if you want to know what the WHOLE Bible is about and not just a tiny Hellenistic era bit, then, get the Commentary that makes a difference.  Buy the PDF’s from yours truly for a paltry $199 by clicking my PayPal Link.

DO IT!

Shocking News:  The Episcopal Church May Still Exist!

But perhaps not…

The So Called Official Biblioblog Carnival

By someone called Phil Long.  It’s not as rubbish as some so I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Most of My Sermons Only Garner 1% Attention. So I Envy the 10%ers

A message on tithes and offerings at Maple Street Methodist Church received a surprisingly warm welcome Sunday as congregants responded by giving a full ten percent of their attention to the well-prepared sermon.

“I’m impressed by their generosity,” Pastor Larry Williams told reporters Monday. “We have to start somewhere—just pay a small amount of attention to a word here, a word there. Heck, sometimes I’m happy if the congregation even shows up for these services.”

An encouraging Monday morning staff meeting revealed the remarkable return, giving hope to the financially struggling body of Christ.

“I usually try to focus and really absorb about 12–13% of the sermon, so I’m doing way more than my part,” longtime church member Ruth O’Neill told reporters. “Once in a while, I’ll listen to the entire thing as a special, one-time love offering of my time and attention.”

Member David Spangler admitted to giving only 1% of his attention, blaming the pastor for scheduling the message in the prime of golf season, on the weekend of a major. “I have to prioritize, you know?” he explained.

David Spangler is a former parishioner of mine (and a present one too… named Legion).

Maybe It’s Time to Give Priests Hazardous Duty pay

Because you can’t be a cleric these days without risking your life.

A priest was reportedly stabbed in his own home when he refused to give money to a man claiming to be an asylum seeker who had asked to use his shower.   Father Jos Vanderlee, a 65-year-old priest in the northeast Belgian town of Lanaken, was rushed to hospital with hand and tendon injuries.  He is expected to make a full recovery.  According to local newspaper Het Nieuwsblad, a man who said he was an asylum seeker knocked on the vicar’s door  on Sunday and asked if he could use the shower.

Hazard pay.  Or a bodyguard.

Scotland’s Long Reformation

95533This looks a gem

Exploring processes of religious change in early-modern Scotland, this collection of essays takes a long-term perspective to consider developments in belief, identity, church structures and the social context of religion from the late-fifteenth century through to the mid-seventeenth century. The volume examines the ways in which tensions and conflicts with origins in the mid-sixteenth century continued to impact upon Scotland in the often violent seventeenth century, while also tracing deep continuities in Scotland’s religious, cultural and intellectual life. The essays, the fruits of new research in the field, are united by a concern to appreciate fully the ambiguity of religious identity in post-Reformation Scotland, and to move beyond simplistic notions of a straightforward and unidirectional transition from Catholicism to Protestantism.

I just wanted to mention it.  Doubtless many will be interested.

Happy Swiss National Day

To all in that glorious land- Schweizer Bundesfeier; Fête nationale Suisse; Festa nazionale svizzera; Fiasta naziunala Svizra.