Zwinglius Redivivus

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More Apocalyptic Nutbaggery: In Spite of Claims to the Contrary, The World Will NOT End on July 29

The group End Times Prophecies has declared the world will end July 29 in a chain of events prompted because of an ongoing phenomenon known as a polar flip.

The good news: We can stop worrying about who will be the next president.

A 17-minute Armageddon News video, posted July 9 on YouTube and viewed more than 800,000 times, explains the end-of-the world theory as a modulated female voice reads through a variety of biblical quotes, illustrated with cheap special effects that couldn’t buy Michael Bay a cup of coffee.

“The polar flip will make the stars race across the sky, and the vacuum from the reeling of the Earth will pull the atmosphere along the ground, trying to catch up, creating what is known as a roll cloud,” the Armageddon News report said.

On July 30 the pseudo-theologians will offer some lame excuse concerning miscalculations.  That prediction you can count on coming true.

It’s a crying shame that people who pretend to know the Bible don’t know it well enough to have read Mark 13.

Περὶ δὲ τῆς ἡμέρας ἐκείνης ἢ τῆς ὥρας οὐδεὶς οἶδεν, οὐδὲ οἱ ἄγγελοι ἐν οὐρανῷ οὐδὲ ὁ υἱός, εἰ μὴ ὁ πατήρ. (Mk. 13:32)

3 Responses

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  1. Why would the world end on the same date that’s the deadline for getting a free upgrade to Windows 10?

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    WenatcheeTheHatchet

    18/07/2016 at 7:13 pm

  2. I thought a “polar flip” was when you go to the zoo, and a big white bear gives you the finger.

    Like

    John C. Poirier

    19/07/2016 at 7:15 am

  3. Just in case I’m not going to send in my mortgage payment early for August.

    Like

    Bob Schilaci

    19/07/2016 at 12:25 pm


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