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Come Lord Jesus: The Babylon Bee Nails it Again

Reacting in stunned disbelief upon waking up to yet another barrage of horrific reports Friday detailing even more tragic acts of violent death which have occurred since the last time they checked the news, Christians across America reportedly closed their eyes, thought to themselves, “This can’t be happening,” and collectively sighed deeply before saying aloud, “Come, Lord Jesus.”

“I was already mentally paralyzed from the Alton Sterling and Philando Castile videos,” said 27-year-old Jamie Eason from St. Louis, MO. “Then I wake up to read about all these cops getting murdered. I—I just can’t . . . what is happening?” She then trailed off before composing herself to mutter, “Please, Jesus, please return soon.”

Echoing Eason’s state of despondent shock was Jeff Willingham, 43, from Sammamish, WA, who noted that this year’s unceasingly tragic narrative has left him expecting calamity to strike at any time as he becomes more and more distrusting of those around him. “But even my deep and growing cynicism can’t keep up with reality—is this even real?” he said, shaking his head, before petitioning God to return and set things right.

“Maranatha!” confirmed millions of other American Christians, adding that they are “afraid to check the news,” they “cant take one more video of someone dying,” they’re “afraid for their loved ones,” and “our world is falling apart before our very eyes.”

“Come, Lord!” they added.

Written by Jim

08/07/2016 at 11:15 am

Posted in Modern Culture