Chris Tilling Has Dumped Me For Doug Campbell…

Shocking news came yesterday through a ‘Dear John’ letter from Christ Tilling- my former SBL roomie – that he was dumping me to instead get a room provided by Doug *The Apple CEO Lookalike* Campbell.  We’ve roomed together a long time. In fact, we’ve roomed together at SBL when we’ve both been there from back in the days when Tilling was a Grad student.

But now he’s dumped me.  And I’m heartbroken.  So if I’m super moody the next couple of months it’s because of it.  And if you see me at SBL in San Antonio don’t be surprised if I snap your head off if you speak to me.  I’ll be fuming.  Bloody abandonment.  #RoomingAlone.  #TillingIsAMeanie.  #ITakeShowers.  #HeClogsDrains.

Here’s their engagement picture…  the swine….

Campell swearing eternal love to Tilling in return for an endorsement…