The World’s Worst Con-Artist

People who are Pastors will know what I mean when I say, churches are often seen as easy marks for con artists.  Today’s episode, a true story, takes place as follows:

“knock, knock, knock’.

Me: to the door- opening it, and seeing middle aged woman.  ‘Hello’

Woman: ‘are you the Pastor?’

Me: ‘Yup’.

Woman: ‘Will you call my home church and ask my Pastor to get my medicine for me and meet me when I get to the jail there?’

Me: ‘What?’

Woman: ‘I’m wanted in Ohio and I need to turn myself in so I want to do it here’.

Me: ‘OK what’s your name, and I’ll call the Sheriff and have him pick you up’.

Woman: ‘I don’t want to give you my name’.

Me: ‘OK.  Well what exactly have you done, and how did you get here, and are you staying with someone in town?’

Woman: ‘I don’t want to say.  I’m only needing to get some money so I can get back to Ohio so I can turn myself in’.

Me: [to myself- she just said she wanted to turn herself in here… con alert, con alert].  ‘OK well have a seat there on the church steps and I’ll call the police and they will pick you up and you can turn yourself in to them’.

Woman: ‘I’ll give you my Pastor’s number, call him and tell him to bring my medicine to the jail’.

Me: ‘What’s his number?’

Woman:  ‘I don’t know’.

Me: ‘Alrighty then, let me call the police and you wait there’.

Woman: ‘Let me go and pray about it for a while and if God tells me to turn myself in, I’ll come back’.

Me: ‘Okie dokie’.

[Interlude- I eat my afternoon bowl of Lucky Charms, imagining I’ve seen the last of the Ohio-an].

‘knock, knock, knock’.

Me: [to myself- she’s back!] Opening the door, ‘hey’.

Woman: ‘God told me to turn myself in’.

Me: ‘I’ll call the police now’.

Woman: ‘Ok”

[Interlude- 5 minutes later the police arrive]

Me: to officer ‘She says she’s wanted in Ohio and wants to turn herself in…’

[I walk off.  10 minutes later, after the officer has looked into it, I walk back to his car- woman has walked off]

Me: ‘She wasn’t wanted, was she?’

Officer: ‘No.  She only wanted some money to get back to Ohio’.

Me: ‘Thanks for coming down’.

Officer: ‘Any time’.

[Me, to myself- she is the worst con-artist in the world!  I wonder what the story will be next time, to the next poor hapless pastor who’s minding his own business, watching – curiously – Road to Perdition… when she pays a visit].

About Jim

I am a Pastor, and Lecturer in Church History and Biblical Studies at Ming Hua Theological College.
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4 Responses to The World’s Worst Con-Artist

  1. Joel says:

    One word: O.H.I.O.


  2. Pingback: Sunday Thoughts – 5/16 | The Church of Jesus Christ

  3. Doug says:

    What a lame con. She has got a lot of work to do get into the big leagues. Hope your bowl of Lucky Charms were good.


  4. Pingback: Sunday Thoughts – 5/16 | Christian Articles and videos

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