The World’s Worst Con-Artist

People who are Pastors will know what I mean when I say, churches are often seen as easy marks for con artists.  Today’s episode, a true story, takes place as follows:

“knock, knock, knock’.

Me: to the door- opening it, and seeing middle aged woman.  ‘Hello’

Woman: ‘are you the Pastor?’

Me: ‘Yup’.

Woman: ‘Will you call my home church and ask my Pastor to get my medicine for me and meet me when I get to the jail there?’

Me: ‘What?’

Woman: ‘I’m wanted in Ohio and I need to turn myself in so I want to do it here’.

Me: ‘OK what’s your name, and I’ll call the Sheriff and have him pick you up’.

Woman: ‘I don’t want to give you my name’.

Me: ‘OK.  Well what exactly have you done, and how did you get here, and are you staying with someone in town?’

Woman: ‘I don’t want to say.  I’m only needing to get some money so I can get back to Ohio so I can turn myself in’.

Me: [to myself- she just said she wanted to turn herself in here… con alert, con alert].  ‘OK well have a seat there on the church steps and I’ll call the police and they will pick you up and you can turn yourself in to them’.

Woman: ‘I’ll give you my Pastor’s number, call him and tell him to bring my medicine to the jail’.

Me: ‘What’s his number?’

Woman:  ‘I don’t know’.

Me: ‘Alrighty then, let me call the police and you wait there’.

Woman: ‘Let me go and pray about it for a while and if God tells me to turn myself in, I’ll come back’.

Me: ‘Okie dokie’.

[Interlude- I eat my afternoon bowl of Lucky Charms, imagining I’ve seen the last of the Ohio-an].

‘knock, knock, knock’.

Me: [to myself- she’s back!] Opening the door, ‘hey’.

Woman: ‘God told me to turn myself in’.

Me: ‘I’ll call the police now’.

Woman: ‘Ok”

[Interlude- 5 minutes later the police arrive]

Me: to officer ‘She says she’s wanted in Ohio and wants to turn herself in…’

[I walk off.  10 minutes later, after the officer has looked into it, I walk back to his car- woman has walked off]

Me: ‘She wasn’t wanted, was she?’

Officer: ‘No.  She only wanted some money to get back to Ohio’.

Me: ‘Thanks for coming down’.

Officer: ‘Any time’.

[Me, to myself- she is the worst con-artist in the world!  I wonder what the story will be next time, to the next poor hapless pastor who’s minding his own business, watching – curiously – Road to Perdition… when she pays a visit].

4 thoughts on “The World’s Worst Con-Artist

  1. Joel 16 May 2010 at 5:08 pm

    One word: O.H.I.O.

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  2. […] Oh, and I have three things to give away this week. Also, from around the web, there will be a monthly book giveaway from this blogger. And there is another contest still yet! There is the perennial conversation on cessionism and tongues going around. Stuart points us to an interesting article. And Bitsy has an article about mean, old Librarians, or at least, that is my reaction. James is plowing away at his book reviews. Jason is continuing what Kevin started. Nick and Brian jumped in as well. And Jim has a friendly reminder of the ills of OHIO. […]

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  3. Doug 16 May 2010 at 5:31 pm

    What a lame con. She has got a lot of work to do get into the big leagues. Hope your bowl of Lucky Charms were good.

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  4. […] Oh, and I have three things to give away this week. Also, from around the web, there will be a monthly book giveaway from this blogger. And there is another contest still yet! There is the perennial conversation on cessionism and tongues going around. Stuart points us to an interesting article. And Bitsy has an article about mean, old Librarians, or at least, that is my reaction. James is plowing away at his book reviews. Jason is continuing what Kevin started. Nick and Brian jumped in as well. And Jim has a friendly reminder of the ills of OHIO. […]

    Like

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