pseudo-theology

If The Asteroid Lands On Pat Robertson, The Destruction of the Planet Will Be Worth It

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I’ve grown so weary of this deceiver’s lunacy.  Truly, if God sends an asteroid to destroy the planet, and said asteroid were to land smack on Pat Robertson’s head, it would be totally worth it.  Totally.

Megachurch pastors Pat Robertson and John Hagee walk into a bar … and a devastating astronomical event occurs and the world is destroyed.

Not to be outdone by the blood moon theory pushed by Hagee, a world-famous preacher from San Antonio, Robertson has crafted another “end of the age” theory that involves an asteroid, or, as he calls it, “a big ol’ hunk of space rock” destroying the Earth, which he said could happen as soon as next week.

“I don’t see anything else that fulfills the prophetic words of Jesus Christ other than an asteroid strike,” said Robertson on The 700 Club television broadcast Monday. “There isn’t anything else that will cause the seas to roil, the skies to darken…”

Robertson was plugging his book “The End of the Age,” which asserts a meteor will destroy the Earth, on the Christian Broadcasting Network. The 1988 presidential candidate, who has predicted the world would come to an end multiple times, was piggy backing off of news that NASA would release information Tuesday that asteroids have struck the world much more than previously thought.

There heretics- Robertson and Hagee and Osteen and Cindy White and all their feckless lot are downright sickening.  Sickening.  I simply do not understand why God allows them to continue- unless it’s to test me, I mean all the faithful…  Send the asteroid and let it descend on them.  Bloody Pentebabbleists.

Stuff I’ve Never Understood: Like Being Crucified to Show One’s ‘Spirituality’

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They do that, nonetheless, in the Philippines… every year… including this one.

Den als Jesus gekleideten Freiwilligen wurden knapp acht Zentimeter lange Stahlnägel durch die Hände gerammt, als sie ans Kreuz genagelt wurden. Hunderte weitere Männer, die ihre Gesichter unter Tüchern verbargen, peitschen in einer Prozession ihre nackten Oberkörper blutig.

Die Zeremonie, die von der Kirchenspitze nicht gebilligt wird, findet jedes Jahr in San Fernando statt. Tausende Touristen strömen in die 65 Kilometer nördlich der Hauptstadt Manila gelegene Stadt, um das blutige Spektakel zu beobachten. Um einen allzu grossen Menschenandrang zu vermeiden, wurden die Kreuzigungen in diesem Jahr an verschiedenen Orten in San Fernando abgehalten.

Such things serve no useful purpose whatever.  It’s not as if the sacrifice of Jesus needs assistance to be effective.  Nor do the persons participating earn any sort of special merit.  It is, in fact, a tad mocking.

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Watch John Hagee Mislead People And Predict ‘The End’

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Another of the many who haven’t bothered to read Mark 13. Here’s a hint friends, anytime someone says ‘the end of the world is at such and such a time’ – you know you’re dealing with someone who 1) doesn’t know what Scripture says and 2) is a deceiver.

The Impending Collapse of the Quiverfull Movement

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A fascinating essay in The Daily Beast spells it all out.  From this:

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have put many years and a lot of work into putting a smiling, nearly normal-seeming face on the extreme Christian right. The couple adheres to a fringe strain of fundamentalist Christianity dubbed the “Christian patriarchy” or sometimes the “Quiverfull” movement, and while there is a lot of internal diversity to the movement, they generally preach a combination of beliefs that run counter to mainstream America: absolute female submission, a ban on dating, homeschooling, a rejection of higher education for women, and shunning of contraception in favor of trying to have as many children as humanly possible. The movement is controversial even within Christian right circles, but the Duggars have tried to counter that with their popular reality TV show 19 Kids & Counting, where they present themselves as a wholesome everyday family that just happens to be a little more fecund and conservative than average.

To this

But right as the Duggars are beginning to cash in on all this hard propaganda work, it seems the world they come from—the tiny but growing world of strict Biblical patriarchy—is in real danger of collapsing. While adherents to this form of Christianity, like the Duggars, like to paint an uber-wholesome face on their families and beliefs, ugly truths are finally starting to leak out regarding the problems of infidelity and alleged sexual abuse in the community.

To this

The latest scandal is a doozy. Back in November 2013, Doug Phillips, who, in his capacity as the president of Vision Forum Ministries, is probably the most important leader in the world of Biblical patriarchy, confessed to cheating on his wife and resigned as president of his ministry. “I engaged in a lengthy, inappropriate relationship with a woman,” he wrote. “While we did not ‘know’ each other in a Biblical sense, it was nevertheless inappropriately romantic and affectionate.” Shortly after his confession, Vision Forum Ministries closed up shop, unable to continue with the stink of sex scandal upon them.

And to this

On Tuesday, it was revealed that there may be more to this entire scandal than the typical minister-caught-cheating story. The woman with whom Phillips confessed to an “inappropriate” relationship, named Lourdes Torres-Manteufel, filed suit in Bexar County, Texas, accusing the powerful Christian right leader of pushing her into a multi-year abusive relationship that allegedly featured frequent sexual assault. While the complaint never mentions sexual intercourse, it does claim that he repeatedly groped and masturbated on her while she protested. The plaintiff alleges she was basically moved into Phillips’ house with his wife and children, taken on many family vacations, and given work as a caretaker for the family, all while secretly being bullied into sexual encounters without consent. She even claims that Phillips told her that they would marry soon, as he believed that his wife was about to die.

Gross.  Just… these guys… these guys with their pompous false piety.  These wolves in sheep’s clothing.  They are a disgrace.  The fruit is rotten because the tree is corrupt.  Read the whole.

Heaven Is for Real: An Observation

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Just a cautionary word about this popular film: it is NOT doctrine nor should it be viewed as such.  It is NOT ‘bible teaching’ nor should it be viewed as such.  It is NOT accurate at several points nor should it be viewed as such.  It is simply, merely, and only ENTERTAINMENT.

Getting your Doctrine from Hollywood films is like getting your doctrine from – well – Hollywood films.  If you really want to know what heaven is like, study Scripture.  It at least has the benefit of being theologically correct.

John Hagee: This Week’s Dilly Winner

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The heavens are putting on a celestial show next week — and one Christian pastor is convinced it’s a sign from God.  Bestselling author and televangelist Pastor John Hagee claims the four blood moons that will soon appear in the skies over America are evidence of a future “world-shaking event.”  The blood moons are part of a tetrad, a set of complete and consecutive lunar eclipses that will begin on April 15 and continue in roughly six-month intervals until October 2015.

To normal people these celestial events are interesting, even pretty.  But to the Dilly winning Hagee they are grist for his insanity mill.  When nothing happens in the wake of these events, will Hagee be honest and subject himself to the punishment the Hebrew Bible reserves for false ‘prophets’?  No.  He will make excuses- just like Harold Camping did.  8 times.

Anyway, ‘Pastor’ Hagee-  here’s your Dilly (and you’re sharing it with each and every single person who believes what you say) -

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Of Course He Preaches a God of ‘Yes’- He’s In Vegas and He Runs a Mega-Church. He Knows His ‘Congregation’

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When you think of Las Vegas, you may think of slot machines, strip clubs, and Zach Galifianakis shouting, “There is a tiger in the bathroom.” You probably don’t think of Christian churches. Yet, somehow, Jud Wilhite has managed to grow Central Christian Church to 19,000 members and four campuses in the middle of it all.

The Sin City pastor is now promoting a new message about what he calls “the God of yes.” Believers have often defined Christianity as “no,” reducing it to a series of rejections of just about everything God has created. In his book, “The God of Yes,” Wilhite urges the faithful to throw off these ideas and discover a divine “yes” to all of life. Here, we discuss his message and whether he’s just trying to make faith more palatable and positive.

He must not like the Ten Commandments very much.

RNS: But there are many places in the Bible where God-followers are instructed to reject destructive things with a firm “no.” In fact, the Ten Commandments are largely a list “thou shalt nots.” Your thoughts?

JW: Certainly there are plenty of “no’s” in the Bible. But the big story of the Bible is that God seeks relationship with people. From a Christian perspective, the big picture is that God is for us in Jesus and went all the way to the cross to show His love for us. The “no’s” in the Bible are to lead us more fully to live in God’s “yes” and experience all of life not as guilt, but as gift. The commandments serve to lead us to a fuller life God designed for us, not to keep us from it.

No, the commandments are boundaries set on our selfishness and our tendency to live out our own self interests.  They aren’t intended to actualize we folk but to limit us.

But that won’t sell in Vegas.  Where ‘you are not to commit adultery’ is not only regularly ignored, but when it is ignored, the behaviour is praised and lauded and exalted.  After all, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Winking at sin and minimalizing God’s instructions doesn’t lead to your ‘best life now’, it leads to misery.

More Stupid Pastor Tricks: Church ‘Fight Clubs’

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Can these theological ignoramuses stoop any lower? I do not see how. There is nothing of Christ in this.

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