Nope, No, Never Gonna Happen

We’ve evidently now become so wholly self absorbed that our churches are pandering to the worst among us and offering an opt out of community and communal worship option of pseudo prayer.

These days, we can get fast food, coffee, prescriptions and even our dry cleaning from a drive-thru. But the newest drive-thru hot spot in the Houston area requires no purchase. People are pulling over for prayer.

The first time Sandy Cepeda saw the signs on Broadway Street in Pearland, she kept on driving. But one day, she stopped. “Today, I decided to come because, truly, there’s a lot of people struggling out there, and my struggle is different from other people, but I really need the prayer,” she said. … Lopez and co-pastor Danny Quintanilla created drive-thru prayer for anyone who’s in a rush and feeling life’s stresses, but may not attend a place of worship.

They want the benefits of the community without the commitment of community or to community. They want the privileges of faith without the nastiness of commitment to faith. They want God to cater to their ‘needs’ while they merrily ignore the needs of others. This is selfishness taken to its natural (read, godless) conclusion.

More Disgusting Immorality Wanting People to Think It’s Christianity

There’s a new hedonistic pseudo-Christian cult in town-

It’s called Fitness Swingers, and it’s the brainchild of Cristy Parave and her husband, Dean, who dreamed up the site after reportedly having a threesome with this wife and her female friend. Apparently, the sex was just heavenly.  The Florida couple, who met at a bodybuilding competition, are interested in sharing their beliefs and their spouses with others who feel similarly. They started their online network 7 years ago, and haven’t looked back. The pillars of their relationship: A commitment to their faith, to fitness, and to the ideals of the swinger lifestyle.

‘Faith’ – hardly.

Dean Parave told Barcroft Media that he doesn’t think that his swinger lifestyle conflicts with his Christian beliefs. In fact, he considers it a kind of ministry.

Because he’s an idiot who knows as much about Christian theology as a flea knows about interstellar travel.

“So far today, God hasn’t told me, ‘Dean stop that, it’s a sin. I don’t want you to do that.’ Until he does that, I’m going to keep trying to help as many people as I can,” he told Barcroft.

He wouldn’t know God’s voice if it did deign to address him. But why would he?

Christy said she needed a little convincing that it was moral at first, but now she’s totally convinced that god is on their side. “God put people on the Earth to breed and enjoy each other,” she told Barcroft. “I feel God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason.”

What a depraved image of humanity this reprobate holds!  For him, people are nothing but animals intended to breed with anything nearby.  Total Depravity on full display.

Oh Canada…

This is pretty sad news for the Anglican Church of Canada

The Anglican Church of Canada, having spent many decades trying to persuade us that man’s yearning for transcendence can be satisfied by installing a solar panel and buying a Prius, is continuing to transform itself into a social services agency by converting its buildings into apartments. The latest effort hails from Winnipeg where St. Matthew’s is, so we are told, excited by the fact that it worships in a small corner of the former church building. This must be what revival means in the ACoC.

Read the rest.  It’s juicy with snark and disdain.  Someone doesn’t like the transformation of the Church into a – well whatever the Canadians have turned it into.

But this is what happens when the Church of Christ begins living only to pander to the uncommitted- operating with the false and idiotic assumption that if you give people what they want (instead of what they need), they will magically become disciples.

It needs to be shouted from the rooftops of all the world- God doesn’t exist for you!  You exist for God!!  Or as Calvin puts it more eloquently,

… our very being is nothing else than subsistence in God alone (…imo ne id quidem ipsum quod sumus, aliud esse quam in uno Deo subsistentiam).

‘Pastor’? No.

The story of this foul mouthed boozing gun toting drunk driving ‘pastor’ is the story of everything that’s wrong with the distortion of Christianity in America these days.

Such persons disgust me.  I have no desire at all to know or fellowship with such self-aggrandizing reprobates.  Mr Mooneyham is no Pastor.  Not in any meaningful sense of the word and certainly not any historically accurate sense of the word.

He may appeal to the worldly- but when the world comes into the Church the church ceases to be the Church and becomes a haven of spiritual delusion for the spiritually deluded.

Joel Osteen Knows Nothing About The Bible- And Neither Do his Followers

Author and megachurch speaker Joel Osteen raised eyebrows this week when he wrote on his popular Facebook page that Moses was present to see the sun stand still under Joshua’s leadership and that he witnessed the Hebrew boys being thrown into the fiery furnace.

“God said in Numbers 11:23, ‘Moses, is there any limit to My power?’ Osteen, leader of the 43,000 member Lakewood Church, posted on Monday, and then proceeded to expound. “He was saying, ‘Moses, you saw Me part the Red Sea, stop the sun for Joshua, keep three Hebrew teenagers safe in a fiery furnace, don’t you realize that I can bring water without rain?’ There’s no limit to God’s power.”

The status received over 317,000 likes from his more than 8 million followers, and was shared over 52,000 times. A number of followers also agreed heartily with Osteen’s teaching in the comments section.

Ignorance is blistering.

Aww, Nick Jonas Has Ditched His ‘Purity Ring’…

Jonas-300x300Because, in his words,

I’ve got my set of values, things that are important to me now at this point in my life, and that’s all that matters.

Yes, precious, all that matters is what you feel.  Stay strong, precious, and never let all that God and holiness and Christian doctrine stuff interfere with what you think is best…

[NB- Another 'Christian' young person who thinks he knows better than Christianity does and who has become a law unto himself, thereby abandoning faith and turning inward to find his own path of salvation - which in reality is a path to death.  Thank you, churches with your pizza party feel good non-doctrinal pseudo-theology, you've managed to lead another one down the broad path that leads to destruction].

The Cult at Mars Hill is Disintegrating

The revelations keep coming about imploding Mars Hill church, which this week announced that it was laying off staff and closing branches in the wake of numerous allegations of financial impropriety, porn-laced misogyny and abuse of power. Today, one of the most dogged bloggers following the saga, Warren Throckmorton, a psychology professor at Grove City College in Pennsylvania, published a 2012 memo purporetedly written by Mars Hill Executive Pastor Sutton Turner.

“It’s really incredible,” Throckmorton says of thememo, talking by phone today. Leaked to him by an insider, the memo reveals that as far back as two years ago Turner was warning elders about a financial crisis brought on by a culture of “entitlement,” “poor stewardship” and questionable ethics.

Sutton calls out dubious behavior on the part of church staffers. Some used the church credit card to “treat their wives to spa appointments,” or attended to their own personal ministries and consulting businesses on church time. This was not a secret, he wrote. When he came to Mars Hill 10 months prior, “the finance team kept a spreadsheet call ‘questionable expenses.’ So whether top leaders did not want to know or were complicit in their action is debatable.”

The church also routinely engaged in what Sutton called a “Hail Mary” strategy. Every December, the church would undergo an extra giving push. Members were told that the church needed additional funds for new branches or special projects. “But given our spending habits, their gifts just help us catch up,” he wrote.

Etc.  By the way, the reason I call it a cult is because organizationally it is cult-ish.  And in terms of its leadership, it is definitely cult-ish.  This does not mean that there are no Christians there.  But it does mean that they have been duped and misled and for their own spiritual well being need to get OUT and begin attending a Church where Christ is Lord and not the Mickey Mouse Tee Shirt Wearing ‘Senior Pastor’.

Mars Hill keeps secrets, closes books, hides things, makes members and leaders sign non-disclosure pacts, and all the trappings of a secretive cult trying its best to make sure people don’t know what’s really going on there.  Everything @PastorMark does is suspect and suspicious.  Christians, flee.