Zwinglius Redivivus

Archive for the ‘pseudo-archaeology’ Category

Oh Boy… ‘Historian’ Simcha Divulges the World’s Best Kept Secret!

with 3 comments

Just in time for SBL!!!!  What. A. Coincidence!

In a startling follow-up to the New York Times bestseller The Jesus Family Tomb, a historical detective story that unravels a newly translated document filled with startling revelations and fascinating detail about the life and times of Jesus.

The Dead Sea Scrolls, the Gnostic writings and now The Lost Gospel, a newly decoded manuscript that uncovers groundbreaking revelations about the life and times of Jesus of Nazareth – a startling follow-up to the New York Times bestseller The Jesus Family Tomb.

Waiting to be rediscovered in the British Library is an ancient manuscript of the early Church, copied by an anonymous monk. The manuscript is at least 1,450 years old, possibly dating to the first century i.e., Jesus’ lifetime. And now, The Lost Gospel provides the first ever translation from Syriac into English of this unique document that tells the inside story of Jesus’ social, family and political life.

The Lost Gospel takes the reader on an unparalleled historical adventure through a paradigm shifting manuscript. What the authors eventually discover is as astounding as it is surprising: the confirmation of Jesus’ marriage to Mary Magdalene; the names of their two children; the towering presence of Mary Magdalene; a previously unknown plot on Jesus’ life, 13 years prior to the crucifixion; an assassination attempt against Mary Magdalene and their children; Jesus’ connection to political figures at the highest level of the Roman Empire; and a religious movement that antedates that of Paul—the Church of Mary Magdalene. Part historical detective story, part modern adventure The Lost Gospel reveals secrets that have been hiding in plain sight for millennia.

Or, you could just send me the $20 you’d spend on that ahistorical pseudo-scholarship. Face it, you get more facts here in one post than you will in 50000000 pages by a not naked not archaeologist or historian.

Written by Jim

October 30, 2014 at 07:08

They’re ‘Excavating’ [Sic!] in Kentucky for the Ark…

A bit of fun poking double entendre in the title of the post concerning the story here…

Workers are clearing land in northern Kentucky to build a long-stalled tourist attraction featuring Noah’s Ark.

Ken Ham, head of the Christian ministry Answers in Genesis, posted video of the excavation work on his Facebook page this week.

It is the first sign of large-scale construction activity at the site in Grant County since plans for the 510-foot long biblical ark were announced by Answers in Genesis in 2010. The project had been delayed when private donations did not keep pace with the construction timeline.

“They’re doing all the site work now to get the spot ready,” Michael Zovath, the project’s coordinator, said Thursday. Zovath said heavy machinery will eventually push away about a million cubic feet of earth and rock to make way for the 200-acre ark site and parking lot.

Oh.  Boy.  Just think how many out of work academics can serve as tour guides!!!!!!  Take heart recent grads, you can work for Ham!

Written by Jim

August 15, 2014 at 10:22

Maybe in 50 Years the Person who Inscribed the ‘James’ Ossuary Will Come Forward as Well…

The mysterious rune stone that disappeared from the shores of Pojac Point, strangely resurfaced and has been concealed under lock and key, now adds another chapter to its odd tale.  Plans to put it on public display in Updike Park were suspended after a Providence man said he carved the runic letters in 1964.  Adding to the whodunit is the fact that people who lived near the stone in the 1950s say they remember seeing the carvings before 1964.

The enigmatic stone, sometimes called the Narragansett Rune Stone or Quidnessett Rock, is a 6-ton, 7-foot-long boulder that came to public attention in 1984, when a quahogger noticed its carved symbols, visible only at low tide. Archaeologists, geologists and historians have debated whether it is evidence of Viking exploration. Disappearing from Pojac Point in June 2012, causing a dispute among neighbors, it was recovered by the attorney general’s office in April 2013, and kept under wraps at the University of Rhode Island. Experts, one from as far away as Sweden, have studied it, and the state Department of Environmental Management was planning to display it in the park.

Everett Brown, 63, of Providence, has added another layer to the story, coming forward to say that he carved the Norse-like letters 50 years ago.

Fraud.  Ain’t it glorious…  Maybe the guy who inscribed the ‘James Ossuary will come forward one day too.

Written by Jim

August 3, 2014 at 12:40

I Guess That Shows You, Minimalists… (Or, More Misrepresentation of Archaeology)

Written by Jim

June 25, 2014 at 16:30

Posted in pseudo-archaeology

The Ignorant Cohort of Elkingtons Are Still Trying to Convince the World that The ‘Lead Codices’ Are Important


They’ve gone full bore PR campaign to do it in an ignorance laced ‘interview’ which is nothing more than a poorly framed parade example of pseudo-scholarship.

The ‘International Times’ must have been paid a lot of money for the ‘privilege’ of publishing this rapaciously senseless ‘interview’.  You’ll enjoy it.  Especially if you are a biblioblogger.  The Elkington’s don’t like you at all.  But probably only because you’re putting a dent in their chances of selling their ‘product’.

If you want one of these little trinkets, next time you’re in Jordan, you can pick up a dozen.  Easily.  And then you can try to pimp them too.  But be sure to be mad at anyone who questions your ‘scholarship’.

With thanks to Jim Aitken for telling me about the farcical nonsense.

Written by Jim

May 22, 2014 at 08:27

Yay! More Archaeological Use of Jesus Without any Evidence!

For the Rev. Juan M. Solana, it was the spiritual equivalent of striking oil.  When he set out to develop a resort for Christian pilgrims in Galilee, he unearthed a holy site: the presumed hometown of Mary Magdalene and an ancient synagogue where experts say Jesus may well have taught. The project, which Father Solana, a Roman Catholic priest, describes as “providential,” will be blessed by Pope Francis during his visit to the Holy Land this month.

Yay!  Now if only they could also connect the site to Abraham and Jacob and Joshua and Moses they’d have it made.  They could erect all sorts of ‘Jesus slept here’ signs and tell tourists anything they liked because without contradictory evidence they will be believed.  Even with contradictory evidence, or as the case is presently, no evidence at ALL, they’ll still be believed.

Poor Jesus.  He’s used to sell more stuff than anyone else.

Written by Jim

May 21, 2014 at 16:55

Oded Gets His Fake Back

jehoashAn inscribed stone that may be the only remnant of Solomon’s Temple has been returned to its owner after an 11-year legal battle waged by the Israeli government.

So Matthew Kalman, referring to the return to Oded Golan of his fake, patently fake, obviously fake, tremendously fake fraudulent ‘Jehoash Tablet’.

I hope he sells it to a gullible collector for 80 bazillion dollars and the collector travels the world showing it off at shows where films by Simcha Jacobovici play on monitors in loud surround sound and visitors are separated from their hard earned money to the tune of $100 a pop.  That would be a fitting fate for the fake.  And for all those people ignorant enough to bow at the altar of fraud.

Maybe Harvard Theological Review will publish an essay on it too, in which the author of the piece defends the authenticity of the holy relic in spite of the fact that there’s not one scintilla of evidence anywhere at all that the thing is authentic and anything other than a forgery.  That would be the icing on the cake.

Written by Jim

May 21, 2014 at 08:19


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 325 other followers